


The Execution of the Last Steal

by soulmatecest



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Thieves, BAMF Jared, BAMF Jensen, Bottom Jared, Friends to Lovers, Hacker Jared, Happy Ending, Jealous Jensen, M/M, Possessive Jensen, Protective Jensen, Thief Jensen, Top Jensen, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-11 11:37:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 96,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8978110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulmatecest/pseuds/soulmatecest
Summary: Anyone who meets Jared Padalecki would think he has the perfect life: a college degree, a normal life and an apparently perfect fiancé, Stephen Amell, the son of a Senator with a bright future. Except for one thing: it’s all based on a lie. Five years ago, he created a new identity for himself to cut all ties to his criminal past and ex-boyfriend Jensen Ackles, a world-renowned thief.But Jared can’t run forever. A threat from his past comes back looking for him and the only person who can help him is the man he thought he left behind forever, the only person Jared’s never been able to forget. Incredibly charming and just as cocky, Jensen Ackles is a thief that is too good at his job for his own good, who would do anything to protect Jared now that his life is in danger. Years have gone by, but he has never been able to forget Jared either. And perhaps now that they are forced to escape together, Jensen might be able to do what he’s best at: steal Jared’s heart one last time and win back the only person Jensen has ever loved.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, guys! Long time no read! Wanna hear a joke? I was supposed to post this fic in June during meant-to-be season. 
> 
> But, who is keeping track of my bad posting schedule anyway? Merry Christmas! Let's consider this a gift from me to all of you fantastic readers, who always put up with how long I take to publish new fics and forgive me for being so terrible at replying to your comments sometimes (I read every single one them and carry them in my heart. But with college work I find myself short of time to reply some days. I will answer them ALL this month. If you made a comment in August and get a reply in December, that's me *finger guns*). 
> 
> This story has been ready for a while, but life is a bitch an things kept getting in the way of finally posting it. So I have been dying to publish this for months and now AT LAST, IS HERE! I had tons of fun writing it because thief-action movies are my shit (Ocean's Eleven is one of my favorite movies) and this is me being sneaky and mixing J2 with something I'm embarrassingly obsessed with.
> 
> As always, many thanks are in order: To Kristen, for being a fantastic Beta Reader, who took time from her own writing and posting to help me with this story. Any remaining mistakes are on me. And, as always, to Belle. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't finish any story. Thanks for always cheering me when I'm feeling the worst about my writing and poking me to type at me laziest. You're the best cowboy a little shit could ask for!
> 
> Without further ado, I hope you enjoy thief!Jensen romancing Jared away from Stephen. God knows that's all I ever write, but at least this time there is pickpocketing involved.

—Chapter 1—

It’s bad.

Not their usual level of “bad”, because they are used to it to a certain degree by now. It’s _holy-shit-we’re-going-to-die-today_ bad.

So, it’s over. They’re both going to die and the loud group of people who are yelling and attempting to bring down the door are probably going to cut their bodies into little pieces and flush them down the toilet or something like that. Probably worse. Jared doesn’t have enough imagination about body disposal to give them justice.

How badly their bodies are going to end doesn’t matter, the details post-mortem might not be the biggest concern right now.

They are fucking dead and that’s what truly matters.

“Third time this month.” Jared hisses, shaking his head frantically as he punches the keyboard as hard as possible, trying to ignore the muffled groans coming from the room next door. He’s sweating bullets, hair half pulled up in a messy ponytail and a headband keeping the strands from falling over his forehead.

He _hates_ brushing his hair out of his face when he’s working. Any other time? Absolutely fine. He even has the tendency of hiding his eyes behind his bangs when he’s embarrassed or uncomfortable. But never during work. Puts him in a terrible mood.

The idiot who dragged him out of bed two mornings ago íwithout giving him enough time to grab all of his stuff knows that, so _he_ had to go out and find Jared something for him to pick up his hair after they landed on Mumbai at two in the morning. That’s why there’s a fucking plastic Hello Kitty glued to one side of the neon pink headband on his hair right now. Only thing _he_ could find for Jared in miles of closed stores that early in the morning.

 _‘Moron’_ , Jared thinks affectionately, a little smile curving his lips for a second, and then adds _‘third time this month’_ in his head.

“I wanted to go to the movies!” Jared suddenly shouts over the yells coming from outside, giving a quick look over his shoulder to the semi closed door. More muffled screams is all he gets as any answer, but Jared knows _he’s_ paying attention. Jared always knows. “Maybe go to the fucking mini-golf, you know! I love mini golf. I’m _so_ good at it.”

He turns his head back to the screen, seeing windows and numbers fly by and pop up fast enough to make anyone get a headache. Not Jared, thought. He’s in the _zone_.

Doesn’t mean they are any less dead though. Just means he’s that good, but they are still dead meat for sure.

“I wanted to stay home and rent a horror movie! You know, I wanted to relax! Just take it easy!” He keeps shouting, starting to crack the code he has written down on a folded napkin from an Indian restaurant. It still has crumbs and drops of sauce smudged all over it and the ink the code was written on has been slowly fading away since Jared folded the napkin in a half and put it in his back pocket.

There’s also a different handwritten little note on the left corner of the napkin  that reads _‘_ — _and then I can make it up to you. I’ll eat your ass until you see stars, Jay.’_

Jared focuses on it for a moment, spacing out for a couple seconds as he remembers the night before.

The first part of the written promise is missing since the napkin got torn apart sometime that morning. Jared remembers what it said though, doesn’t need it written down when it all happened less than 47 hours ago and he thinks he can still feel it when he presses down on the chair.

Jared hears a louder groan coming from behind and that snaps him out of it. He shakes his head and keeps typing. _See stars indeed he did_.

“I wanted a weekend with a normal date!” Jared shouts once more, clicking on the computer like his life depends on it. And right now? It does “You promised and you _promised_ and then you—!”

“Alright already!” The door behind him gets kicked open and Jared doesn’t need to turn around to know who walked in. He would recognize that voice anytime, anywhere. “I know I promised you a date, we can go eat somewhere nice when we’re back. Already made reservations and all, smartass.”

Jared huffs petulantly, not turning away from the laptop. “Define _nice_.”

“We’ll have to suit up and wear a tie. They’ll kick us out if we look even a little bit middle class.”

Jared smiles then, nodding once, now satisfied with that answer. He doesn’t really care where they go as long as they’re together. _That’s the whole point_. From Texas to the end of the world. Always together. Jared can deal with the rest as long as he has got—

“Oh, _fuck_.” 

The hand sliding down his back affectionately suddenly stops, lips moving away from his neck. Who likes to get handsy during times like this? Jared always wondered. But that’s part of their routine, he guesses.

They fake fight— but sometimes not so fake—, they trash talk, they kiss, they touch. All while possibly getting murdered.

 _Again_. Third time this fucking month.

“Doesn’t sound like the kind of _‘oh, fuck’_ I was expecting from groping you.”

“Shut up. Oh shit, holy fucking _shit!_ Get your stuff! _Get your stuff!”_ Jared almost yells as he hurries up, knocking things over as he jumps up and closes the laptop, turning around to look for the closest exit from that room. Jumping from the window sounds like an option but, fucking hell, last time they did that he almost broke his leg. Jared doesn’t know how to land like a gracious cat like his oh-so-talented companion.

Jared turns around and the other is just _standing_ there, looking at him like they are in the middle of a lovely date in the park or something. Like he can’t hear the men shouting and trying to force open the main door of the room, calling for the guy who is now lying on the floor and yelling deadly promises.

He stands there and _looks_ at Jared utterly confused at the clear intention of getting the fuck out.

“Did you not hear me?!” Jared shrieks, grabbing him by the shoulder and shaking him. “We need to get the fuck away from here! What are you doing standing there?!”

Now that he can actually get a close look at him, Jared is relieved to not find any visible wounds. A bleeding lower lip but no bullets. He’s always so good at this, yet sometimes Jared can’t help but worry.

“I was just thinking how nice that pink headband looks on you.”

Jared glares at the other wishing he could make him burst into flames and that seems to make him understand this is serious, putting his hands up in surrender.

“Just joking, Jesus! Why are you so freaked out? We can’t go yet, we need to get everything or it’s not gonna—”

“Listen to me, you freckled asshole! This place is gonna explode! _Ka-boom_ and up, up we go!” Jared yells, shaking his shoulder violently. Jared always loses his shit in moments like this, he can’t help it. “That code your informant gave you? It activates something alright, but is not the password for the security door. It's  the emergency alarm, and you wanna know what it does?!”

_“...Ka-boom?”_

“I told you I wanted to go to the fucking movies, god dammit!” Jared groans, pushing him towards the window. The sound of more people coming from downstairs is making Jared want to throw up now. If it’s not the explosion then _they_ are going to kill them.

“It wasn’t even _my_ informant! Chad told me about the guy!”

Jared rolls his eyes, fumbling to get his laptop back in his ragged backpack as they climb out of the window. “You _always_ blame Chad!”

“When is it _ever_ not Chad’s— _Jared, get down!_ ”

He gets pulled down by his shirt and ends face first against hot skin and the line of a collarbone, the buzzing sound of a bullet flying right past his face making him grind his teeth. Jared stays there for a couple a seconds, soothed by the familiar warmth and usual smell. The hands around his hips keep him in place, caged in a protective hug that seems to calm down his nerves.

It takes him a while to understand that the erratic breathing he’s hearing, almost like hyperventilating, belongs to him. Jared’s visibly shaking and hugging back for dear life.

“Are you okay, Jay?” He hears in his ear, gentle and full of worry. It makes a tingle travel from the start of his head to the tips of his toes. He closes his eyes and nods, face between the space of the other’s shoulder and the curve of the neck.

“ _Yeah_ , yes. I’m good, let’s go now.”

He wants to get away as soon as possible. His little panic attack suddenly getting clouded with the worry of a bomb being activated and them being right in the middle of it.

“No way, he tried to _shoot you_.” The voice changes now. Going from worried and protective to full-on pissed off; from zero to one hundred in two seconds. Jared looks up with the ‘ _you’re kidding, right?’_ dying in his lips as soon as he sees the pure hate behind the green eyes. “He’s fucking _dead_ for even trying—!”

Jared sees him reach for the gun that he knows is tucked in the waistband of his pants, so Jared grabs his arms before he can go for it.

“Not now! We have to go, remember? This place is gonna fucking detonate!” And Jared has no idea in how long. It could be in two seconds or five minutes, but they are not taking any chances. “Now is not the time for your protective genes to go wild!”

“Nobody points a gun at you and lives to tell the story, Jared! That guys is dead meat!”

He tries to shake Jared’s hand off of him, which makes Jared hold him even tighter, almost digging his nails on the skin. _No_. He can’t go. Jared can’t let him. It's  risky, stupid and so damn cocky, to go back inside and kill some bastard because he almost shot Jared. Charming as hell, of course, it has worked to swoon Jared off his feet since the moment they met. The _“anyone who tries to harm you is dead because I’ll be the one killing them”_ promise has a ring in Jared’s ears that makes it sound like goddamn celestial music whenever it plays.

But now is so not the time.

They could end up getting blown to pieces, and as much as Jared appreciates the protectiveness behind wanting to go fight the guy who tried to shoot him, they need to get the fuck out or they’re dead.

“Go first and I’ll meet you in the car, then!”

“No way!”

Jared grabs his hand now, squeezing it in his own fingers as hard as he can. There’s a beeping noise, far away but slowly growing louder, making Jared’s chest jump in his ribcage. Is that it? Are the bombs starting to detonate? He tugs on the hand harder, starting to get desperate.

Jared needs to bring him, too. They need to leave. _Together_.

Because there’s nowhere in the world Jared would go without Jensen.

The beeping increases as soon as the name pops in Jared’s head.

“Please!” Jared begs as the beeping sound gets louder. _“Jensen, please!”_

Shouting his name seems to do the trick as Jensen stops struggling to get free go back inside of the room and turns his face towards Jared. He stares at him for only a second, clearly taking in the worried state Jared is in. Jensen can see the determination in Jared’s eyes, he’s not going or leaving Jensen behind.

Jensen suddenly sighs, giving him that cocky smile that both drives Jared insane but makes him feel safe no matter the kind of mess they get themselves into. Jared sure loves that stupid grin.

Jensen laces their fingers together, squeezing Jared’s hand lightly.

 _“_ Whatever you say, Jay. Let’s get out of here.”

Then, everything goes white.

 

 

—

 

 

The light is too bright when he first opens his eyes.

Jared dreams of shotguns and the smell of explosives, but wakes up wrapped in silk sheets that smell of pure lavender. Soft and recently changed.

He blinks twice, trying to get used to the bright light coming from the left side of his rather big room. The sound of explosions in his dreams are still ringing in his ears. Jared squeezes his eyes shut once more, trying to keep the memories floating in his head for a little longer, hoping that there’s even a little trace of it all still printed behind his eyelids. _Nothing_.

All are gone now, lost as soon as the beeping sound of his alarm going off finally made him wake up.

He sighs, deciding there’s no point on chasing the fading images in the darkness. Soon enough his day will start and he’ll forget the dream altogether. Or maybe he should call it a flashback, because Jared knows they are vivid memories of moments he enjoyed too much and can’t bring himself to let go of completely.

By the end of tonight he won't even remember he had the dream at all.

Or at least that’s what he’s going to tell himself.

His heart's still pounding, not yet aware that he’s not riding shotgun inside of a stolen car, freaking out about some code that didn’t work while there’s an excited laugh by his side. _‘Shut the fuck up! That was not funny!’_ Jared had yelled in his dream, _in his memory_. That had only resulted in more laughter, but it eventually made Jared laugh too at the end _. ‘You’re such an asshole, I don’t even know why I’m in love with you, Jensen!’_

Jared snaps his eyes open.

He’s smiling. Wrapped in his expensive sheets, lying in a bed way too big for him in a room a little too fancy and smiling while he tries to chase a long lost dream.

God, he’s fucking _pathetic_.

“Way to start the day, Padalecki.” He grunts to himself, suddenly feeling more awake than before, kicking the sheets away and sitting on the comfortable bed. _Wow_. Really? Jared groans, brushing his messy hair out of his face. This is why he hates the first seconds of the day, when he’s still dizzy enough from sleep to not understand that _this_ , daydreaming and remembering, it’s something he doesn’t do anymore.

Something he hasn’t done for years.

It’s stupid and childish and— God! What is he even doing in bed? There’s a huge banquet that night and he has to still finish up a lot of details. He has people to call, a whole room to organize and then make sure everything looks perfect.

What is he even doing in bed? What was he smiling about?

Jared says in his head he doesn’t remember anymore.

There’s a buzz in the room and Jared takes the phone from the bedside table to make the alarm stop, but the buzz continues. It takes him a couple blinks to realize the sound is coming from the intercom on the wall. He rolls his eyes at himself and presses the red button, humming a soft _“yes?”_ in response.

“Good morning, Mr. Amell.”

Jared winces at the last name for a moment, wrinkling his nose while a voice in his head thinks _‘not yet’_. Soon, sure, but definitely not yet. Jared’s not even sure if he’s going to change his last name at all, it would be really convenient with all things considered, but the idea doesn’t exactly delight him.

“Oh no, this isn’t Stephen.” Jared laughs a little, hoping that playing it off that way might make it come off more casual than openly saying _‘that’s not my name’_. “Maybe you rang the wrong bedroom, but given the hour I’m sure he’s already out and about.”

“No, no, I meant to you ring _you,_ Mr—”

“Tristan.” Jared interrupts, because he really needs everyone to stop calling him _‘Mr. Amell’_ before is absolutely necessary and he doesn’t like the formality of it anyway. “I have told you that you can call me by my name, Alona.” 

His second name. Now first and _only_ name, he guesses. He hasn’t been called _‘Jared’_ for years.

There’s silence for a second and he can imagine Alona looking around to make sure nobody’s around before she answers with a little giggle in her voice. “Mr. Amell told us to call you by your last name.”

The _real_ Mr. Amell, Jared supposes. If it’s Stephen or his dad, he does not know. It's not like it makes that much of a difference anyway.

“Well, Mr. Amell needs to have a talk with me, because I can decide what I want to get called and I would much rather have you only call me by my name and please tell that to everybody else if you can.”

There’s a little laugh in the intercom and then a “Of course _Mr— uh_ , of course, Tristan.”

“Thank you.” Jared sighs, moving from the bed and walking to the ridiculously big closet. He’s not surprised to find a new black suit hanging in it as soon as he swings the doors open. There’s a sticky note over the plastic covering the suit  with three sentences written on it.

_“Wear tonight, you’ll look great! You know how much I like you in black._

_Love you.”_

Jared smiles for a second while looking at the note, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He knows Stephen’s handwriting after meeting in college and dating for some years.

The words are Stephen’s but he didn’t write it.

If Jared can guess, it looks more like the stylish handwriting of Stephen’s personal assistant.

“I was told to ask you what you would like for breakfast. Everyone else already ate together earlier this morning, but you can get whatever you want now.”

They didn’t wait for him. Probably because Jared purposely set up the alarm to wake up way past everyone else’s breakfast schedule.

Two weeks living there is all Jared needed to figure out at what time every member of the Amell family does anything.

He has an entire map in his head now so that he never bumps into someone he doesn’t want to see.

It's not that he doesn’t like Stephen’s family, but they became quite overwhelming since the news of their engagement went viral. Jared met them all during Christmas and summer breaks when he was still in college and they never paid special attention to him before. They probably thought he and Stephen would break up soon, but now that Jared’s engagement ring made it to all the front covers of gossip magazines they behave like this is the first time they have ever seen him.

They all want to talk, talk, and _talk_ nonstop about dress codes and flowers and gifts and freaking _babies_ and Jared is starting to lose his mind.

He wishes it could be a quiet ceremony with just him, Stephen, and some of their friends and family. Something small and full of meaning for them, maybe in the backyard of a big house they can rent. With no cameras and no press. And definitely without a bunch of politicians Jared doesn’t know at all, who might not even approve of their union but assist to put on fake front of being on board with gay marriage.

But that’s not _real_ purpose of the wedding. Sure, Stephen loves him and they have been together for almost four years, Jared doesn’t exactly doubt Stephen’s true feelings and the realness of their upcoming marriage.

But Jared is also not stupid.

Stephen proposed the very next day after sex-same marriage became legal all over the United States.

In the middle of his dad’s—the Senator of Washington D.C—speech during a live interview for one of the biggest news broadcast in the country. His dad announced that  his son had something to say and let Stephen to the mic, who then proceeded to drag Jared from the audience and pop the question by saying some nice words and a very characteristic _“I believe in same-sex union as much as my dad”_ right before the _“Tristan, would you marry me?”_

 _‘Romantic, huh?’_ Says a sarcastic voice in Jared’s head that he recognizes instantly but pretends to ignore just as Alona yells _“Tristan!_ ” a third time into the intercom.

“Uh? What?” Jared repeats, putting down the sticky note and the new suit on the bed after staring intently at them for minutes, lost in it’s own thoughts. “I— I’m actually not very hungry, Alona. I think I’ll wait until lunch, if that’s okay.”

There’s a silence for a moment and then she whispers. “Are you sure you’re alright, Tristan?”

Jared always hated his second name, made sure nobody ever called him that during high school. Years of hearing it as his new name has helped Jared get used to it, yet he isn’t exactly fond of it.

He doesn’t know if he wants to change his second name and become another _“Mr. Amell”._ He’s not exactly in love with being “Tristan” and now Jared is supposed to add a last name he’s also not crazy about.

Stephen and his dad are Mr. Amell. But Jared’s not.

He used to be Jared Padalecki and quite liked it. Especially when ironically pronounced by certain cocky thief Jared once knew and had a special talent to drive him out of his mind and sweep him off his feet so easily that is embarrassing to think about it now.

He liked being Jared Padalecki back then more than anything.

“Yes, I’m sure Alona. It’s just the wedding thing, you know? The excitement and nerves are getting to me.”

That’s not entire a lie. Jared is…kind of looking forward for the ceremony, he guesses. He never imagined this is how he would end up getting married, but he can’t complain. He has a career, a prosperous future and a normal fiancé who will get home every night and hold his hand while they go out for dinner.

It’s exactly what Jared asked for and now he’s got it.

He can’t complain. He has a nice future in front of him. So, _sure_. Jared is... _excited_.

He knows he liked being Jared Padalecki. But things changed and life moved on, teaching him that sometimes you have to let go what you want and go after what you need. As much as he liked being Jared Padalecki, he has to get used to the idea of being Tristan Amell instead.

As he finishes talking with Alona and starts to get ready to take a shower and dress up in some of the fancy clothes Stephen’s mom buys for him whenever Jared visits, he walks back to the bed to take a silver ring from the bedside table, slipping it in his finger and rubbing it absently.

He keeps reminding himself of the moment Stephen kneeled in front of him—an entire audience and anyone who was watching the news in that moment—and showed Jared the ring. The same scene keeps appearing in Jared’s head every time he looks down at his hands and his eyes meet with the shiny band.

The moment Stephen asked him to marry him and slid the cold ring on Jared’s finger, Jared thought of someone else.

It wasn’t Stephen or the memories of their time together in college. Not the nice summers they spent at Stephen’s big house, going swimming in the pool or reading in the backyard while eating lunch.

Jared had looked down at the ring, but instead of Stephen, he saw himself in a small house in the outsides of Brazil. He was staying at the rented place for a week using a fake credit card and made up names. And Jared wasn’t alone then.

When Stephen gave him a bright smile and muttered the words _“we’re getting married”_ , Jared didn’t really see Stephen’s face or heard his voice.

Jared could only feel the memory of the hot weather clinging to his skin and the ghost of familiar lips going from his neck to his ear, whispering _“Maybe I’ll get you a ring”_ while rubbing two fingers on Jared’s index one before squeezing around it, _“So everyone will know you’re mine.”_ There was a laugh, one that made Jared smile back even if the sound was only in his head. _“And you’ll think about how we’re always going to be together whenever you look at it. Would you like that, Jay?”_

Jared had closed his eyes and nodded. But he wasn’t nodding at Stephen, he couldn’t even see him anymore.

When Stephen’s dad took the microphone again and said he was happy to introduce the _“future Mr. Amell”_ into the family, the same voice who had been talking in Jared’s head all along spoke once again.

Jensen’s unmistakable tone had said the only thing Jared couldn’t deny to himself back then or even several weeks later, standing in the middle of a fancy room while staring down at the engagement ring on his finger.

_It still doesn't sound as good as “Ackles”._


	2. Chapter 2

—Chapter 2—

 

_—Years earlier—_

Jared looks up, eyes following the ticking of the old clock nailed to the highest part of the wall, just above a board with the word “DETENTION” written in black and underlined twice. It's like both lines are going to somehow, in some way, make Jared feel guiltier about being there.

The problem is that he would have to feel guilty in the first place to then evolve the feeling into “more” guilt. Which he’s not. At all.

A little sleepy, maybe. Nobody likes to wake early on a goddamn Saturday.

“—and are you even paying attention to me? _Padalecki!”_ A harsh, angry voice, calls out, making Jared snap out of his little contemplation as he stares back at his principal.

Mitch Pileggi—better known as Prinicipal Pileggi, or Double Pee as Jared likes to call him—doesn’t look old enough to have a heart attack yet. Of course that depends on your diet and having a family history for heart diseases, but it’s pretty common to have heart attacks from old age, and Double Pee is certainly not there yet. He’s bald, likes to have a weird goatee that Jared thinks makes him look a little bit like a pervert, and wears big round granny glasses. So he might look older than he is, but Jared doesn’t think the guy is older than fifty.

Yet right now Mitch Pileggi looks like he’s two seconds away from grabbing his chest and falling to the ground, face red and breath heavy. Jared doesn’t think he has ever seen him this mad. Not that Jared is around the guy that often since he would usually be considered a “good kid”.

But not anymore.

“This is a very serious matter! We could have even called the police for what you did! But we want to give you a chance to improve and change yourself before it’s too late—”

It’s bullshit. Jared knows and he’s pretty sure Double Pee knows that he knows.

Yet they both look at each other and pretend the school hasn't called the police after they caught Jared hacking in the system to change some student’s grades only because of Pileggi’s big forgiving heart.

Not that Principal Pileggi doesn’t care for his students or doesn’t want them to improve so they can leave the bad path and come back to the good side. He’s a good principal. In fact, he’s so good he received an award for all his hard work with his students, making one of the shittiest high schools in San Antonio—and possibly all of Texas—become a very good place to send your kids to study.

There was press around for the day he received his award.  He stood up and gave a nice speech about how it’s not about having tons of money or learning in a private school. It was about caring for the kids and giving them a good education, hiring teachers who were devoted to their jobs and always believing in the children, because they were all capable and talented no matter where they came from.

It was all very nice and Jared was quite proud of his school when it happened.

So of course a scandal about one of those oh-so-talented kids hacking into the school system to change grades in exchange of money wouldn’t look very nice on good old Mitch Pileggi's record.

That’s why they are keeping it hush-hush and not getting the police or anyone outside of school involved. In fact, Jared is pretty sure not many teachers know about it.

This isn’t about Jared or his future. It’s about Principal Pileggi and his well-deserved award. That’s why they are both going to sit in there and play pretend. But, _hey_ , Jared can work with that. He can spend the rest of his days in detention in exchange of keeping this mess out of the legal system.

Jared nibbles on his lower lip and tries to pay attention to his principal, but he didn’t get much sleep the night before so it’s hard. His grandmother has been getting sick lately, so Jared had to spend the night going from one drugstore to the other until he could finally find the medicine she needed.

That’s why Jared did the hacking in the first place. _He_ didn’t need the money, his grandmother did. For the medicine.

Expensive medicine they could not afford.

She had tried to keep it a secret, but it was hard not  to notice her losing weight too fast and looking tired and in pain all the time.

It’s something she has done since Jared was a kid, trying to hide the fact that they didn’t have much money. She tried to not let Jared notice how she had to sell their toaster or her rings whenever Jared needed new clothes. How she had to take extra shifts at her job or make sure to close the front door whenever he landlord came around so Jared wouldn’t hear her begging for more days to pay the rent they owed him  

Or how she still tries to hide the fact that they aren’t related by blood because she never had any kids and Jared’s real mom left him in a dumpster when he was a baby; that’s where Nan found him.

They never talk about any of those things. Her sickness, the toaster, her rings or the dumpster. Especially the last one. She doesn’t know Jared knows that. By now she is aware Jared might _suspect_ he’s adopted, but not that he knows the whole story. He eavesdropped one time Nan was talking about the subject with one of her few friends but he never made a comment about it.

Jared doesn’t mind much.

If his mom didn’t want him that’s fine by him, he is sure nobody would have ever loved him or raised him like Nan had done.

Jared is lucky his mom left him in that dumpster. Thanks to that he got Nan as his grandmother and he wouldn’t change that for the world.

Yet he couldn’t ignore the fact that she was sick, not like he could pretend to ignore everything else.

They didn’t have much and even with Jared’s part time job in the store right in front of their building, it wasn’t enough for what she needed.

Then Brock Kelly waited for him outside of the school one Friday afternoon.

Brock is in Jared’s grade and spends most of his time skipping class and making out with another guy from their school, Colin _Something,_ who looks almost a year younger than both of them. Jared is only aware of that because sometimes he would leave school late after tutoring a couple students and he had spotted Brock and Colin by the dumpsters behind the cafeteria, both too busy with their tongues down each other’s throats to notice Jared walking past them.

Otherwise he would never see them together. Jared isn’t surprised they are trying to keep it on the download. This is Texas after all.

God knows he would do the same.

Brock didn’t make that much of a small talk. Just a _“hey, Jared”_ and _“do you smoke?”_ while offering him a cigarette before going straight to the point. Brock had heard from Gen who had heard from Mike that Jared knew how to get into the school’s system. If it was true, Brock was open to give Jared good money to change some grades on a couple classes he hadn’t been paying much attention to.

If it was bullshit, _well_ , then Jared could just forget about Brock ever opening his piehole.

_It was true._ Jared did know how to hack into the school’s system.

He had been pretty excited when their school got a big donation and they could finally buy some computers for the students. Jared would stay after classes were over just so he could work on them, trying to learn everything he could from online tutorials and books from the local library.

The teacher liked him enough to let Jared keep one of the computers when it went to shit because of an electric damage during a thunderstorm. _“Something inside it just fried up and the school has no money to fix it. I don’t know what you could use it for, Padalecki, but if you want it so bad, be my guest and take it.”_

Jared took it home and opened it up, took every single piece out and then put it back together. He discovered what was wrong with it and after three weeks of working extra hours at the store, he had enough money to buy the replacements he needed to have the computer working as if it was new.

It was all about practicing and learning the right hacking tricks from there. Jared had to steal Wi-Fi from one of his neighbors and could only practice when he was done with homework, tutoring and his part-time job, but it quickly became Jared’s favorite hobby.

Trying to hack the school system had been for kicks of it. A boring Saturday night almost a years ago while Nan was out and Jared was done with his science project. He had been curious about hacking since he read about it in one of the books he borrowed from the library. Jared had been practicing just for fun. Going into forums and digging for any little information he could get around the topic was his way of passing time.

And then it worked.

He could hack into Principal Pileggi’s account for their school system, which more or less had access to _everything_.

Jared had been so damn proud of himself that day he doesn’t remember ever feeling that accomplished before.

Of course he only used it for stupid little things. He would change the menu of the cafeteria or fuck around with the teacher’s schedules.

Sometimes the page would ask Jared for passwords, which only excited him even more, like a new challenge he could maybe solve if he tried hard enough.

Jared always found a way to hack deeper into it, until there was not a single part of the school system he couldn’t reach and change if he wanted to.

He had been so excited and eager to tell someone that he ended opened his big mouth, telling Mike all about it when his classmate asked how come they were getting the same food—that happened to be Jared’s favorite—for the third time that week.

And then Brock was offering him money for changing his grades, something Jared could do in the blink of an eye after a year of practicing hacking on things much more advanced and complicated than their weak school system.

Brock was offering him the money that could get Nan the medicine she needed.

It didn’t take much time for Jared to take the deal.

The very next day his grandmother had the first dose of pills she needed and Brock Kelly was passing all the classes he had never opened a book for.

But it didn’t stop there.

After Brock came Tom, and then Aldis, and then many others. Nobody seemed to be able to keep their mouths shut about Jared’s little ability while his grandmother was slowly but surely getting better now that they could afford her pills.

_Guilty_ is something Jared will never feel about this whole deal.

“This better be the last time or you will be in deep trouble. Did I make myself clear, Padalecki?” Principal Pileggi asks with a stern voice, his speech apparently done and face coming back to its normal white color. Jared nods solemnly, whispering a _“yes, sir!”_ he doesn’t mean.

He only got caught because some blabber mouth talked too much too loud about it in one of the corridors and Pileggi got an earful of it. They couldn’t find which grades had been changed since the technician Pileggi called couldn’t trace anything back thanks to Jared’s refined abilities. So they didn’t even have enough proof to blame Jared beyond hallway gossip, yet he gave up and owned up to it when Double Pee offered to not tell a word about it to his grandmother in exchange.

She had seen how much Jared spent working on his computer during free time. It wouldn’t take her long to put two and two together. After everything she had done for him, she didn’t need to worry about this.

“Good.” The principal sighs, and this time the sound had disappointment in it. Jared was one of the good kids until some days ago. Good grades, part of the tutoring program, maybe in the line to get in a good college. Jared doesn’t see how adding “hacking abilities” to that list ruins the whole thing but that’s not his problem.

Mitch can think whatever he wants about him as long as Jared’s grandmother can sleep every night without feeling a trace of pain in her body.

The guy mumbles something about going to his office and leaving Jared there _“to think about his actions”_. They don’t have anything for him to do during his detention yet since this is the very first one and the whole thing was kind of rushed, but Jared’s sure he won’t be so lucky the upcoming Saturdays.

Pileggi leaves, locking Jared in the classroom—which Jared thinks it might not be legal, but then again, _pot calling the kettle black_ — and then walking down the hallway until it’s impossible to hear his steps.

Jared let’s out a long sigh before folding his arms over his desk and pressing his face between them. What a waste of time. Being there when he could be working at the store for extra money or practicing something on his computer is enough to make Jared feel more bored. He told his grandmother he was also tutoring during the weekends now so at least she is not going to worry.

Only a couple minutes pass before he hears the door being opened again and Jared tries not to groan in his arms. Pileggi probably found some boring task for him to do. And here he was hoping to at least get some hours of sleep.

But when he looks up he doesn’t see Mitch Pileggi.

In the middle of his classroom there’s a guy Jared had never seen before. A little taller than him—but he also looks kind of older than him, Jared still has years to keep growing—, green eyes and a cocky little smile on his face. He’s playing with a set of keys, throwing them in the air and then catching them again, all while keeping complete eye contact with Jared.

The guy doesn’t say a damn thing.

He stands there just looking at Jared, like he's studying him, or maybe waiting for Jared to say something first.

They stare at each other for what could be considered an awkward amount of time. Jared would have usually looked away almost instantly, but there’s something in the guy’s cocky expression that doesn’t let Jared look down. It's like he’s daring Jared to shy away from him.

He can feel his face starting to heat up.

The guy is quite fucking attractive and Jared has never able to deal with that. _Hot guys giving him attention._ Not that it happens very often in the first place, but all Jared needs is a hot waiter talking to him to end up stuttering and hiding his eyes behind the strands of hair falling over his forehead.

He’s about to finally look away, most of his blood probably on his cheeks by now, when the guy decides to break the silence.

“Jared Padalecki.” The guy makes a pause and then raises both eyebrows “Correct?”

Does Jared know this guy? No way. He would remember a guy who looks like _that_. How does _he_ knows Jared, then? After all that’s been happening—with him getting busted—the first thing Jared would guess is that if someone strange came looking for him would be the police.

But, one, Pileggi wouldn’t make this public. And two, if this guy is a police officer Jared will eat his keypad.

“And you are…?” Jared asks in return, not confirming the other’s questions.

The guy’s smile gets bigger and he nods, like he approves of Jared’s suspicious stare.

“We can get to that later.” The guy shrugs, pulling out one of the chairs to sit down and then prop his feet on the teacher’s desk. “Right now is all about you.”

“Funny, nobody told me it was my birthday.”

This time the guy laughs out loud, head thrown back and crinkles around his eyes, utterly amused with Jared for some reason Jared himself doesn’t seem to understand. Nothing is going to be “about him” until this guy tells Jared who he is, how he knows his name and how the hell did he even get in the classroom. Pileggi locked it for sure.

“I was told you’re a good hacker, but I didn’t expect you to be witty. Good for you, kid.”

Jared’s heart stops in his chest as he sits straight on his chair. If he was about to deny the accusation, his reaction just ruined that possibility. He digs his nails to the desk as he keeps his eyes fixed on the guy.

From all the people Jared has talked to, from Brock to Pileggi—to buy Jared’s “computer services” or accuse him of being a huge disappointment—nobody has used the word “hacker” so far.

A teenager learning how to get into the principal’s account wouldn’t be called a “hacker” by anyone. Jared is simply a seventeen year old fucking around in his computer, getting lucky and using that luck to get money.

Nobody would consider Jared a hacker. At least not for the changing-grades fiasco.

Which can only mean this guy _knows_.

“Don’t look so scared, Jared. I’m not here to judge you for you amazing skills.” The guy winks at him and he starts to throw the sets of keys in the air once again. “Because you’re _amazing_. You know that, right? It sure blows my fucking mind you can do such things when you’re so young. You must be proud of yourself, man, good job.”

Then the guy makes a little bow with his head, catching the keys one last time and leaving them on the desk, right next to his feet.

From all the things Jared should be fixing on right now he’s surprised to realize the part that has more impact on him is the guy complimenting his work. Nobody had done that so far either. His classmates thought it was cool Jared could get in the system and his teachers probably thought it made him a problematic brat.

And then suddenly here he is, this guy Jared has never seen before, using words like “amazing” and “proud of yourself”, like breaking the law should be something to be applauded for.

Before he can even stop himself a smile is appearing on Jared’s face and tugging on his lips.

Jared _is_ proud of himself, nothing ever feels as good as being capable to hack and sneak into more complicated and advanced systems. Good grades and winning local science fairs seem to have lost part their charm since the time Jared fixed and put together his own computer and started to dig himself on something he thought infinitely more trilling.

Yet it’s not a talent you can share and then expect to get a medal in return.

“There it is.” The stranger guy nods in return, suddenly moving his feet from the desk and standing up. He does it in a second though, and Jared thinks he would have missed the change if he had blinked on the exact moment. “You like it, don’t you? Because that’s what I need. I need you to _love it_ , kid. That’s when you become good at this job, when you really enjoy what you’re doing.”

“Job? What job?” Jared manages to ask between all his confusion and recently polished ego. “And really, who are you? You keep saying all these things but you’re not making any sense. For starters, how do you know my name and who—?”

“How did you hack into Harvard’s data-files?”

Jared gets cut off mid-sentence and he feels like he chokes on his own spit, starting to cough loudly, eyes watering. _Jesus fuck_. He had his suspicions two seconds ago but now this is serious. _He could go jail for this._ He could get other people in jail for this.

So much shit could go down because this goddamn guy knows way too much about all Jared has been doing in the last two years.

“I don’t—” Jared shakes his head, nerves getting the best of him. He’s not terrible at lying but he didn’t expect _this_. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I would _never—_ ”

“Hack into Harvard’s entire database of confidential information to get someone in their admission list? How you changed and altered entire applications so it looks so legit nobody caught up on that?” The guy interrupts him once again and Jared’s mouth dries up just as his hands start to sweat. He can feel his lower lip trembling as he stares back at the guy’s green eyes, who is slowly making his way from the front of the classroom to his desk.

“Because I know you did, Jared Tristan Padalecki. I know how much money you got for that job, I know you used part of it and that you’re keeping the rest hidden, probably in your bedroom; the smallest room of the apartment on the third floor of the green building four blocks from here.”

Jared lowers his eyes, getting the sudden stupid idea that this dude can somehow read his mind, because he can’t find any other explanation of how he could have so many details about him or about the job Jared pulled almost a month ago.

It’s probably the biggest hit he had done so far. He wasn’t sure he would be able to do it even after he took the job and received half of the money.

His grandmother needed surgery, Jared had heard her on the phone weeks before. And just around that time, a guy from New York had travelled all the way to Texas to talk to Jared. He wanted to get accepted in Harvard more than anything, but he didn’t have the talent or the grades for it.

But he certainly had the money.

It took Jared less time to accept the offer than the time he accepted Brock’s proposal. He knew he would be fucked if he blew that up. This was another level of action, not only because of the legal parts but because a guy who had so much money to his disposition at such a young age could maybe get Jared killed if he didn’t do the job properly.

“And I also know one more thing about that Harvard job.” The guy finally stops in front of Jared, hands inside the pockets of his black jeans. Jared avoids the green eyes on purpose, hands now shaking under the desk. “And is that it was fucking _brilliant_ , dude. I need you to do it again, and I need you to do it for me.”

Jared’s face must be an accurate reflection of how both terrified he was feeling a second ago and how utterly confused he feels now, because the guy snorts loudly and then leans down so he can be at eye level with Jared.

“I want to hire you as my hacker, Padalecki, and what I can offer you is way more than what that kid gave you for the Harvard job.”

Jared’s not sure how long he simply looks back at the guy. Could be two minutes or ten hours, Jared can’t tell.  His brain disconnected from the rest of his body after what he’s sure was the most confusing moment of his life. He doesn't know where to start.  The questions are piling up in his head so fast that he can’t form one when a new one is appearing already.

That’s probably the reason why all he can do is stutter a single word in response.

_“W-What?”_

This dude wants him to _what?_

The guy stands straight once again and pulls his right hand out of his pocket, leaving it in front of Jared’s utterly confused face.

“I want to hire your services as a hacker for my next hit.” He repeats, this time slower so Jared can follow and process every single word. “My name is Jensen and I’m a thief.”

Jared blinks in response, looking from Jensen’s hand to his face.

“A thief?” Jared says back, disbelief so pure he can’t hide it from his voice. “Like, you go around the street with a gun taking women's purses?”

Jensen rolls his eyes and looks annoyed for a moment, moving his hand away from Jared’s face after he doesn’t shake it and crosses his arms over his chest.

“No, I’m not a mugger, kid. I’m a _thief_ , there’s a difference.” He might catch Jared about to let out a probably dismissive _“no, there’s not”_ because he hurries up to add before Jared can open his mouth. “Have you ever seen Ocean’s Eleven?”

Jared frowns and mumbles _“uh, yeah?”_ and Jensen seems pleased, cocky smile magically appearing on his face again. “Well, what they do in that movie? That’s basically what I do. I’m like Danny and Rusty put together.”

There’s a long silence between them after that, in which Jensen looks like he’s waiting for an applause and Jared squints back in his direction.

“Did you _just—_ ” Jared opens his mouth and shakes his head. “Did you just compare yourself to George Clooney and Brad Pitt?”

“That’s not exactly the _point_ ,” Jensen stresses, dismissing Jared’s question but it doesn't go past him that Jensen is not really denying what Jared said. _Wow_. Someone clearly likes himself a lot, huh? “What I’m trying to say is that I do those kind of jobs. Casinos, museums, banks, all that jazz. And sometimes I need a computer geek like you to come with me. Although I gotta say, they’re usually not this cute.”

Jared is so caught off guard by the sudden little flirting that he ends up in the middle of a coughing fit again, choking on nothing but his own spit. Jensen flashes him a condescending smile while asking _“Do you need me to pat your back or give you CPR, handsome?”_

Jared shoots Jensen a murdering stare right back, covering his mouth and trying to _breath_.

Right, this guy might be hot but he’s also a douchebag. _Noted_.

“Bullshit.” Is the first thing Jared spits when he can speak again, and that makes Jensen’s eyebrows shoot up on his forehead.

“Excuse me?”

“ _Bull-fucking-shit_.” Jared repeats, “I don’t believe you’re a thief. Maybe you’re mental and think you’re one. But, casinos and banks? _Please_.”

He thinks that is going to piss off the guy, but instead Jensen just shrugs and points to the door with his head.

“How do you think I got in here in the first place?” Jensen pulls out the set of keys once again, jiggling them in front of Jared’s face. Now that Jared can see them up close, he suddenly has the strange feeling that he has seen them before _somewhere_.  “I took them from your principal when we walked past each other in the corridor.”

Jared’s eyes widen, the memory of the exact same set of keys lying on the desk of Pileggi's office flashing in his head for a second.

“No way.” Jared whispers, almost in awe.

“Yes way.” And of course Jensen sounds pleased with Jared’s amazement. _Egocentric ass_. But whatever, he might even deserve the admiration this time. “I have _really_ good pickpocketing abilities. Which of course serves me right for this line of job. Bumped into your principal and apologized, he didn’t even feel it.”

Jensen leaves the set of school keys on the table and then pulls out a different set from his back pocket. This time it takes a real gasp from Jared’s mouth, who stares at the keys with his mouth open.

Jared gets up and follows Jensen to the set of windows on the right side of the classroom, the ones that face the street in front of the old building. Jensen points the little black object attached to the second set of keys and clicks the black button on the middle. The old white Honda parked in front of the school, that Jared well knows belong to Pileggi, honks once and the doors unlock immediately.

“Holy shit!” Jared gasps once again, looking from the car to Jensen, who is laughing through his teeth now.

“I told you, kid. No bullshit, this is what I do.” He walks behind Jared and puts something in front of his face. Jared mouth hangs open and yells _“Hey!”_ forcing his own wallet out of Jensen’s hand. _When did he take it?_ Jared turns around and pats his pockets.  He's about to ask where did his phone go—not because is a fancy one or anything, it's a piece of shit Nokia that  Jared bought from someone on his building—when Jensen throws it at him from some desks away, going back to sit in front of Jared’s spot.

Jared catches the phone by pure luck. He’s not good when it comes to hand-eye coordination.

“Well, alright. Let’s say you _might_ be thief,” Jared concedes when he goes back to his seat. Jensen rolls his eyes again, shaking his head, but Jared utterly ignores it. “That doesn’t explain how you know about—” He lowers his voice, sitting down and leaning towards Jensen. “Well, you know, about what I did.” 

What follows after that could be eventually classified as one of the most bizarre conversations of Jared’s life. And yet, one of the most interesting, too.

Jensen tells Jared to shut up and listen, he can asks all the questions he wants at the end. Jared is about to ask why when Jensen holds up a finger in front of his face that clearly indicates _“what did I_ just _say?”_ Jared scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest, giving Jensen a slightly bratty look but decides to keep his mouth shut.

Jensen heard about the Harvard job because apparently the fucking idiot—as Jensen refers to the guy who hired Jared—decided to go to a bar back in New York and get piss drunk after Jared managed to break into the college’s database to get him in. He had gloated to everybody about not needing to worry about a damn thing in life because money could buy anything, even a hacker who could get him into Harvard.

As Jensen makes a stop to laugh at this, Jared covers his face with both hands and contains his sudden needs to go punch that idiot back in New York, even if he didn’t know how to throw a punch.

Then, Jensen explains that the poor bastard was so drunk nobody paid special attention to his annoying rambling. Except for one person, someone who was very much interested in a guy who could hack into Harvard’s files and system and who happened to be in that bar in New York at the right time.

“That’s why you never gloat about the jobs you do and tell your stupid clients to also keep their mouths shut, rule number one.” Jensen points at Jared in that moment, looking serious. “That’s how you get caught. And that’s also why you never give people your real name.”

“Does that mean your name isn’t really Jensen?”

He waggles his eyebrows, shrugging. “I guess you’ll never know.”

Jared rolls his eyes, getting used to Jensen’s cockiness quite quickly. But he also wants to hear more details about the story, so he bites his tongue before making a smartass comeback.

“Anyway. Were you the one who heard him at the bar?”

“Me?” Jensen snorts, making a face. “No way. I wouldn’t know a thing about hacking systems. I can barely use computers to send a mail. No, the one who heard him was Chad.”

Chad is, apparently, the hacker Jensen would usually go to. That moment of the story gets a little confusing for Jared as Jensen goes on because he starts sharing too many details at once. It's like a private conversation Jensen is expecting Jared to already be able to understand somehow.

“He’s a pain in the ass. Most obnoxious dude I have met in my life. JDM recommended him for a job years ago, said he was really good at this hacking deal. But let me tell you, he may be talented, but he’s equally annoying. To this day I can’t spend one hour in the same room with him without wanting to kick his ass.” Jensen sighs, rubbing his temples with both hands like he’s getting a migraine just from thinking of this so called _Chad_. “But the worst part? The little bastard grows on you. I actually like him as much as I can’t stand him. Fucking unbelievable, don’t you think?”

Jared doesn't have a clue who JDM is or why Jensen liking Chad would he be worst part of this entire story that includes robbery and illegal hacking, but he shrugs in response, hoping that it's sympathetic enough.

“Anyway,” Jensen sighs, shaking his head. “He’s the one who heard the guy. Chad lives in New York. You see, there is _this place—_ I’m not giving you details of where it is or what I’m going to do in there; at least not yet.” Jensen adds when Jared perks up, question already in his tongue even if the other said to hold it until the end of the story.

Jared groans and leans back in the chair.

“There is this place I need to get into, to do something that is none of your business until you agree to be part of this, but this place has a security system different from anything Chad has worked with, new tech or some computer shit I don’t care for.”

“More like computer stuff you don’t _understand_ , huh?” Jared interrupts, now giving Jensen a cocky smile while he raises both eyebrows.

Jensen sighs, tapping the desk with two fingers. “Great, all you hackers are the same kind of smartass. Yeah, _okay_ , the place has new tech or some computer shit I don’t _understand_ ,” Jensen corrects and Jared’s smile grows bigger, happy that they are finally touching a topic Jared might know better than Jensen. “Chad has been trying to get past it but— I don’t know man, he can’t. He’s good at it but he can’t get past some walls or something like that. He has been doing some digging around and he found out Harvard has a very similar system to protect all their documents and files. Which, to be honest? Fucking baffles me, a fucking college—?”

“It makes sense.” Jared interrupts again, suddenly feeling more inclined to talk. “It doesn’t baffle me at all. Colleges have pretty tight security when it comes to private information, once you get in you can get anything you want. From how money works around and where it’s going, their future publications and investigations, student grades, teacher’s personal information, everything. You can get whatever you want when you hack into it, so good colleges spend a good amount of money hiring people to build secure databases for them. Sometimes they even hire actual hackers for the job, because we know how to find a mistake or a digital back door we can use to get in.”

Jared is rambling now and he knows it, moving his hands around and getting a bit loud. He knows he does this when he gets excited but he has _never_ been able to discuss this with anyone.

The best part must be Jensen leaning back into his seat and letting Jared go off about what he knows on the topic, nodding appreciatively and starting look a little different at him. Jared can’t put his finger on it, but the way Jensen is staring at him while Jared talks is not the same as he did when he first walked in the classroom.

But more than anything, Jared likes that Jensen _gets this_. Maybe not the technical terms or the more detailed parts, but he gets Jared’s excitement over something that is wildly illegal but really fun to challenge and get past.

“And, I— _yeah_ , that's— that’s what I know about it.” Jared finally stops when he thinks he has been talking for more than ten minutes, only taking small breaks to take deep breaths and then keep talking more and more. He looks down, suddenly feeling self-conscious as his face heats up. “I-I talk too much when I— _sorry_. I’ll shut up.”

To his utter surprise, the next thing he feels is Jensen grabbing him by the chin to make Jared look back up, tilting his head gently. Jared swallows, looking back into Jensen’s eyes as he blushes so much he can now hear his own heartbeat in his ears.

“You’re like a damn walking encyclopedia of knowledge. Pretty impressive, Jared.” Jensen looks at Jared’s face, still not moving his hand away. Then Jared jumps off his chair, startled to feel Jensen’s thumb rub his blushed cheek. “My mistake for telling you to shut up earlier. That was amazing. Don’t ever listen to me or anyone who tells you different and _never_ shut up, alright?”

Jared swallows loudly but nods anyway, eyes glued to Jensen as he nods back in response and smirks again, finally letting go of Jared’s face to sit down. For a moment, Jared wants to lean forward and chase after Jensen’s hand but stops himself before he can try.

_That’s not why Jensen is here for._

He just wants to work with him. Jared needs to start keeping that in mind.

“So, we get back to you.” Jensen goes on, voice and attitude business-like all over again, like he wasn’t just stroking Jared’s cheeks two seconds ago “Chad hears this guy talking about hiring someone who could hack into Harvard and remembers the job I have been wanting to do so he starts to track you down. And now here we are. I need someone who can do the hacking job and you’re the guy with the talent for it. So, are you in?”

Jared blinks, nibbling on his lower lip and feeling wary all over again.

“Am I in?” He repeats, almost in a silly little manner.

Jensen nods. “You and me. Hacking and stealing, the whole deal.”

“Dude...I don’t know.” This sounds pretty serious and Jensen means business. Jared is aware that hacking into Harvard isn’t exactly the most legal thing he has done, but going into a job with someone who might be a legit thief seems like getting closer to jail. He doesn’t even _know_ Jensen.

He can look nice and confident about what he does and, alright, Jared will admit Jensen is also charming as hell about the whole deal.

But that’s only the impression Jared got from talking to him for about an hour. Choosing to work with a thief after such a short time seems a little crazy.

“I haven’t got to the best part.” Jensen suddenly grins “You want to get into college yourself, don’t you? Engineering in NYU for what I heard? Boy, that must be expensive to pay. And the money I’m gonna pay you for this job could be a nice start for that fund.” Jensen drums his fingers on the table “Believe me, what that idiot from the Harvard job gave you is gonna be candy money compared with how much we’re gonna make working together.”

That makes Jared’s defenses go down and his interest pass his protective instinct.

“I mean, money for college could be very— _hey!_ Wait a minute!” Jared squints, opening his mouth. “How do you know I want to go to NYU in the first place? Not even Nan knows that!”

Jensen shrugs and he doesn’t seem cocky about the information or the fact that once again he has the upper hand here.

Which means Jensen himself did not obtain this information himself, huh? Otherwise he would be rubbing it in just like he did about his pickpocketing abilities. Jared is getting pretty good reading this charming douchebag.

“Chad hacked into your computer and checked all your stuff. Including your browsing history. That’s how we know.” The end of Jensen’s lips curve a bit and that’s all the indication Jared needs to know they checked all the pages he visits.

Every single one.

“Bullshit!” Jared shouts, standing up violently, his chair falling behind him. He’s redder that he has ever been in his life, heart beating out of control in his chest. “He couldn’t hack into my stuff! I have programs to protect myself from being hacked—”

Jensen seems unaffected by Jared’s little tantrum, raising one eyebrow. “I told you he’s good. And I don’t speak bullshit, I thought I made that clear. By the way, _PornMD?_ Very classy. Much better than _Pornhub_ I suppose.”

Jared wants to die.

This is probably more embarrassing than being busted hacking the school’s system and getting dragged to Pileggi's office.

Jared doesn’t know what's worse: remembering the videos he got off to in the past weeks or the face Jensen is giving him. He would rather have Jensen’s cocky smile back rather than _that_ new look. The _“I know you have been jerking off watching ass eating and gay porn with spanking”_ look.

Jared really, really wants to die.

After what must be an eternity of Jared staring blankly at Jensen—opening and closing his mouth pathetically—while his face burns hard enough to make him think he’s going to start bleeding from his nose, Jensen breaks into another smile, clearing his throat and looking away. Jared is not sure if he should be grateful for what could be a change of topic or even more embarrassed after he couldn’t defend himself.

“ _Anyway_. Chad said to tell you something if you were having doubts.” Jensen clicks his tongue while snapping his fingers in the air, like he’s trying to remember. “Some computer geek stuff. Something about teaching you how to protect yourself from getting hacked by other hackers if you take the job. He learned it years ago from a guy called Lul or some shit—”

“Lulz Security!” Jared interrupts, the mortifying embarrassment from before fading away for a second. “It’s not a guy, it’s an organization. A hacker group!”

Jensen shrugs, like Jared is telling him the local news about an old lady losing her cat.

“ _Don’t you know anything!?_ They have hacked into the CIA, FBI and Scotland Yard!  They make a mockery out of any security in the world, that’s why they have that name. Holy shit! Does he know someone who works with them? Is Chad part of it? How did he—?”

Jared starts speaking more and more loudly and Jensen raises both arms in the air, shaking his head violently.

“Woah, woah! Stop your guns, kid. You’re getting _waaaay_ into the nerd territory there and I don’t have answers for any of that. I’m just passing the message along from one computer geek to another. Just a humble mail man.”

Jared closes his mouth and thinks about refusing for a second, but then just huffs and crosses his arms, looking away. Now that his excitement over maybe talking to someone who has worked in a real hacking group has been stopped, he feels the embarrassment from before start to crawl up his neck once again.

“W-Whatever,” He hisses through his teeth, still not looking at Jensen. “And I'm not a _kid_.” He adds after a second, nibbling on his lower lip and hoping it looks like an offended request more than a teen about to throw a tantrum.

Jensen laughs, suddenly seems way closer to Jared than he was before. Jared jumps a little in his place, startled at the closeness between them, wondering after a second if the ability of moving without being heard or noticed also helps with Jensen’s job as a thief.

That if _stealing things_ can even be considered a _job_ in the first place.

“Sure thing, handsome. Not a kid.” Jensen winks at him, almost pressed shoulder to shoulder to him by now. “So, what do you say? I’m offering you good money for your future college dreams, Chad is gonna teach your that nerdy stuff you both love so much and all you gotta do is come with me and do something you’re good at. Piece of cake, Jared.”

It _sounds_ like it, for sure.

Jared needs the money, that’s the reason he started charging for this whole thing in the first place. He needs money for his grandmother, he needs money for himself, he needs money so they don’t have to beg for more days to make rent, so his grandmother can stop working at her age, so he can go to college and make her proud instead of worried because of infinite debt.

Also, Jared likes hacking. He wouldn’t have kept doing it if he didn’t. He likes the rush, the excitement, even the process of learning how to do new things, the research, the coding, the knowledge it brings.

And, furthermore, Jared likes Jensen.

He casts a side glance to the guy, who is pulling out a box of cigarettes from his jacket and playing with it with his fingers. Jared moves his head down, hiding his eyes behind his bangs so Jensen won’t notice he’s staring at him.

Is not like Jared likes him in a creepy way or anything. This is not an obsessive crush-at-first-sight. The guy is a douchebag and Jared can tell. But that’s not it either. Jensen’s just…nice to be around once you get past the cocky attitude, Jared guesses.

And he’s, by far, the most interesting person Jared has ever met.

So far, he has only had his simple life with school, a part time job and not many friends. The only time he has gone out of his comfort zone was when he started to learn about hacking and then charge people for his knowledge on the topic. _And look how that ended_. Sure, Jared enjoyed it more than anything he had done before, but going from this to stealing seems like too much.

Jared knew for a while that he would end spending the rest of his life working his ass off to get into any school and then working even more to pay for the debt. He would have to wake up early every morning to go to a poorly paid job and then clock out to go to a second job, because one wouldn’t enough to pay for the education that didn’t get him the job of his dreams anyway. He will go to bed late, work during the weekends and holydays and spend day after day in the same maddening routine.

Infinite work and infinite debt. Not enough time or interest to date and not enough courage to come out of the closet either. That was Jared’s future.

He had seen the rest of his life and he had made peace with it long before he discovered he could be decent at hacking.

Maybe he could say “no” to Jensen. Say he doesn’t want to fuck with any of that crazy life of his, tell Jensen to stay away from him or he will call the police. Tell him his hacker days are over, even if it’s a lie, and to never bother him about it again. Jared would never see Jensen after today and this moment would only remain as the memory he would think about before going to sleep every now and then. He could back into his usual life, not step outside his comfort zone and walk straight into the horribly dull future waiting for him.

Jared sighs, looking back at the clock on the wall.

Almost two hours have passed.

The most interesting hours of his goddamn life with the most interest guy Jared has ever met.

“Yeah, alright.” Jared nods, leaning against Jensen’s arm. Jensen smile is instant and it makes Jared feel more confident when he adds: “We should give it a try.”

 

 

—

 

 

They meet up for a few weeks, mostly after Jared’s classes are over and usually at an old dinner far away from both Jared’s apartment and his school.

He complains to Jensen about how much he has to walk to get there every other day because he can’t spend money to get on the bus or much less get a damn bike. Every time Jensen rolls his eyes and tells him to eat and shut up. Every time is also Jensen’s treat. He lets Jared order whatever he wants from the menu and sometimes when Jared comes back from the bathroom he’s surprised to find some kind of dessert in front of his seat: ice cream, brownies or banana split.

They never say anything about it but Jensen seems pleased whenever Jared eats happily.

Jensen uses the time to talk about what they are going to do. He gives information to Jared and tells him to memorize it and somedays Jensen also _quizzes_ him about it. Jared has passed every single time and he feels more accomplished from that than from getting good grades at school by this point. Jensen calls him a _nerd_ whenever Jared repeats the answers word by word like he’s reading them from a textbook, but Jared has started to notice Jensen says it with a hint of affection.

Or perhaps Jared is projecting and that’s what he wants to hear.

God knows spending so much time with Jensen is starting to do things to him.

He learns during those days about the job they are going to do: Jensen is going to steal something from some rich guy at New York.

_“Dude’s an asshole”_ Jensen swears, waving one hand in the air. _“Doesn’t need the thing or the money. He deserves it after being such a prick all his life.”_

That makes Jared feel better about it. He can get behind stealing money from rich pricks. Like they are some kind of modern version of Robin Hood or whatnot. Jensen hasn't told Jared what they are going to steal, says it's better to wait until they have to go and do it for Jared to find out. Jensen won’t even give Jared clues so he can guess what it is, but he seems amused when Jared tries to turn the whole thing into a game. 

Jared tries to memorize everything, even the things Jensen considers are not that important. He remembers details about jobs Jensen has done before, names of other thieves Jensen knows and trusts— _Harris, Kane, Kripke, Manns_ ; Jared always tries to name them in his head when he’s going to school in the mornings. And more than anything, Jared picks up details about Jensen. What he orders on the rare occasions he decides to eat too. The way he likes his coffee—black, no sugar or cream and burning hot—or how he always likes to do something with his hands: play with the silverware, drum them against the table or snap them while he talks.

By this point Jared also knows Jensen is for sure a cocky dick. But he’s also funny and considered. He likes to makes jokes and really enjoys it when Jared laughs out loud at them. He’s witty and a little moody when things don’t go his way but he’s also so fun to be around.

All Jared can do is stare at him while Jensen talks and think _“Fuck, fuck, fuck. I can’t get a crush on this dude.”_

Eventually, they leave for New York on a Friday night.

Jared’s grandmother has a trip planned to a town not too far from San Antonio. One of her old friends just had surgery and Nan wants to go keep her company for a week. When Jared tells Jensen there is no way he can go missing for more than a weekend without Nan getting suspicious—he doesn’t have many friends or money to go on a trip—Jensen decides that the week she’s leaving will be the perfect timing for their hit.

They will be gone almost as long as her and Jared will have to skip some days of school.

Jensen picks Jared up in an old rented car after Jared’s grandmother leaves in a cab and drives them to the airport while chatting him up, probably trying to calm Jared’s nerves.  _They are using fake identifications_.

Jared whines that they don’t need to be fake the day before their departure, eating together at their now usual dinner spot. He whines and whines about getting caught and sent to jail until Jensen swears up and down that he has used them for years and nobody ever noticed.

He’s not that convinced but agrees at the end, and when the moment of presenting the IDs  at the airport comes around, Jared swears he’s about to _shit himself_. Jensen told him he had to relax because they had security all around the airport looking at people, examining them. _“Any kind of mirror you see in the airport? You can bet your sweet ass there’s someone from security right behind it, staring at everyone, spotting the nervous or suspicious folks like me or you. So you have to relax, Jared”_

_Easy for him to say_ , Jared thinks, biting his tongue and hoping he’s not going to start to sweat. He licks his dry lips, hands shaking a little. For a moment he worried all the security will be able to hear his heart beating deep and hard, like he has been running on a treadmill for hours. _He’s going to get caught._

He’s not like Jensen, he can’t fake a smile and act all chill while talking to the other people in line about _what a lovely weather they have to flight that day_. Fucker. He’s a thief and a professional liar while Jared is about to graduate from school and knows nothing about life outside of his little comfort zone.

Jared knows he’s fucked when the girl checking the IDs, boarding passes and weighing their luggage calls _“Next!_ ” and looks at him.

He can see that she sees it. One of her perfectly shaped eyebrows curves up for a second before she full on frowns, looking up and down at him and probably thinking _“This guy who looks like he’s sweating bullying and shaking like a chihuahua is carrying drugs or about to detonate a bomb”._

He gulps and tries to put on a smile that probably comes as a grimace and hands over his ID, hand shaking. She follows the shaky movement and the frown stays in place as she looks down at the piece of plastic card Jensen handed Jared before they walked in the airport.  

Jared is dead.

Maybe he could get away with a fake identification to get into a shitty bar or to buy a few beers. But not for this. Getting caught with fake documents in an airport can only mean bad news, it can only mean Jared is up to now good. And this lady is going to notice it and Jared is going to go down before he can even see it coming.

“Baby!” He hears suddenly, close to his ear, and is a mere miracle he doesn’t jump out of his skin. Jensen is _there_ , chin leaning on Jared’s right shoulder and pressing their faces cheek to cheek. Jared feels one hand creeping behind his back and rubbing his hip under his shirt before Jensen gives it a squeeze. “You always leave me behind chatting up with other people, you should have told me it was our turn!” He says in earnest, like an “ _Oh Jared, you silly boy!”_ right before smacking a loud and obvious kiss on Jared’s cheek, right over the dip of his dimple.

The girl holding Jared’s fake—so fake, utterly fake, _it doesn’t even has his real name_ —ID stares at Jensen after such a grand entrance.

“Are you two travelling together?”

“Yes!” Jensen says happily, handing her his own document, which is also fake. “We’re going to New York to visit his parents, right hon’?” He gives Jared’s hip another squeeze, but Jared’s brain imploded since the moment Jensen put his hand under his shirt, so he only manages to blink and nod in return. “Oh, come on, are you still nervous? I’m sure they are going to be okay with us. They love you.”

Jared has no fucking idea what Jensen is doing or saying, he can barely pick up his voice.

The girl has been paying attention to their whole interaction, eyes flying from Jared to Jensen while she holds the documents, not looking at them yet. Jensen pretends to notice in that moment that they have company and she’s hearing their “little chat” so he leans forward, pressing Jared closer to the counter too, and says the next thing in a whisper.

“They don’t know we’re together. Or that he—” Jensen nods and points at the two of them. “Coming out of the closet is always so hard.”

The girl’s expression changes almost instantly, frown disappearing from her face as she takes a deep breath and sighs a _“Oh!”_ right before adding _“Oh, of course!”_

She nods and then gives them a little smile, looking at Jared with a mix of consideration and pride.

“Well, good for you, honey.” She taps the hand Jared has on the counter for encouragement. “I hope things go okay. And you two are an adorable couple.”

Jensen laughs in such a non-Jensen manner and then adds _“No way, he’s the adorable one”_ like he and this chick have known each other all their goddamn lives while Jared’s head is _blank_.

His body seemed to shut down with the mix of the previous nerves, the small confusion and now the insane amount of libido he’s producing from Jensen rubbing his hips skin to skin while talking too close to his ear and calling him fucking _pet names_ out of nowhere.

Jared is really going to die.

Jensen keeps chatting up with the girl while she looks at the documents, their tickets and then proceeds to weigh and mark their luggage. She doesn’t look too much at their IDs and only types something down in the computer after hanging them back. All while Jensen changes his position and passes both arms around Jared’s hips to hug him from behind, calling him more terms of endearment and making sure to press some extra kisses on his neck and the back of his head.

When it’s all done and over and they can go wait for their flight, Jensen makes sure to grab one of Jared’s hand and lace their fingers together, waving at the girl goodbye with a big smile.

Jared, on his part, has no idea what just happened. His brain may never work again.

All the places Jensen touched keep tingling and burning like Jared can still feel him right _there_.

“W-What—” Jared stutters, walking by Jensen side with their hands still linked together. “What the _fuck_ was _that_?”

Jensen doesn’t bat a damn eyelid, simply shrugging as Jared’s hands start to sweat for a whole different reason than nerves.

“That was me saving your pretty ass” Jensen gives him a side glance and then shakes his head “You really can’t lie, huh? We’ll have to work on that.”

“I do!” Jared protests with an offended huff and for a moment he wishes he could pull his hand away from Jensen to cross his arms, but he changes his mind immediately. _No_. It’s cool. Jared doesn’t have to do that, he’s not that offended. “I do know how to lie, but— I’m not used to do it on this level. I have never used one of— _those_.” Jared hisses, lowering his voice.

Jensen snorts and turns his face to give him a big smile, now really amused.

“Never used one of _those_? You make it sound like we’re using a new sex toy together, _honey_.” Jensen laughs again until Jared digs his nails on the hand he’s holding. _Hard._ “Hey! _You little—_ fine, okay. We’ll get you used to this level of lying, then. You’ll learn to use the fake documents and identities you have to make up for every new job. Is not a big deal, you’ll see.”

Jared feels a reassuring squeeze around his hand and he doesn’t say a word back.

Somehow, he actually feels better about it with Jensen holding his hand through it.

The flight from San Antonio to New York seems to pass in a blink, even if it actually takes them over four hours. Jared has never been on a plane before and he’s too excited about everything in it, asking questions to Jensen and one of the nice fly attendants before going back to read the brochures he found all over the airport. Jensen amuses him and replies as much as he can and also doesn’t say anything when Jared instinctively takes his hand again when the plane takes off.

Jensen falls asleep after half an hour though, so Jared keeps going on his reading in silence, glancing out of the window every now and then and trying to contain his excitement.

He has never been to New York either.

It’s down pouring when they make it out of the airport, where Jared acts a little less nervous but Jensen holds his hand like before and puts on the couple charade all over again. Jared isn’t sure if Jensen is doing it because he’s worried Jared might ruin the whole thing or because he assumes that the physical contact gives Jared some sort of comfort.

Both options are equally embarrassing so he doesn’t dare to ask.

Jensen pays for a cab and drags their bags under the rain, telling Jared to get in and don’t say anything during the ride. Not a single thing. If the taxi driver asks about what they are doing in New York or how often they come visit, whatever it is, Jared has to only look at the window and let Jensen do the talking.

_“Fine by me”_ Jared thinks, rolling his eyes and going in the car while Jensen carries his mostly empty bag. He didn’t have any luggage so Jensen had to get him one for their trip.

Jared’s too distracted to actually pay attention if the guy asks them anything at all, looking everywhere and hoping they could come back to some places to take pictures or do some touristic activities.

But they are not really a couple during a lovely vacation. Jensen is a thief and Jared a hacker going around a strange city with fake IDs and the intention to do something that could make them end up in jail.

When they finally make it after an hour of traffic and the rain only getting worse, Jared is surprised to look at the building they are standing in front of.

For some reason he thought they would end up at a neighborhood that looks pretty much like the one he lives at: shady and kind of dangerous. After all Jensen said they were going to visit the other hacker he knows, the one who tacked Jared down and found all his information. _Chad_.

Jared expected some old sketchy house, a place that didn’t look too special, one that you could walk by every single day and never notice, owned by someone you would never pay attention to. He expected hidden cameras that he would have to try really hard to spot and someone waiting with a gun behind the door before they even rang the bell.

But he surely didn’t expect a building that almost looked like the fucking cover for an architecture magazine.

That or Jensen dragging his luggage to the fancy entry and pressing the button for intercom to ask to communicate with the penthouse, to then almost snarl _“Let me the fuck in, asshole. It's pouring down and I’m starving”._

Yet, most surprising of all, is probably the guy who opens the door once they make it to the last floor (for which you need a key to even press the penthouse button in the elevator and Jensen seems to have a copy for.)

Jared is not sure what he expected of Chad. He didn’t make a real mental image of the guy whenever Jensen mentioned him. He just imagined a silhouette surrounded by computers and advanced technology. Probably that mysterious guy you never learn anything about during action movies yet is always the one who  pulls all the cool tricks that saves the hot protagonist.

The door swings open after Jensen presses down the bell for a little too long, revealing a blonde dude, maybe a couple years older than Jared, only wearing underwear and black sunglasses even if he’s inside a penthouse. And is raining. _At night._

He has something in his left hand that looks like a slice of homemade brownie while there’s a cigarette between two of the fingers he has on the doorknob.

He raises one eyebrow that goes above the rim of the sunglasses, looking from Jared to Jensen for a couple seconds before shaking his head.

“You fucked him, _didn’t you?”_ Chad clicks his tongue, shaking his head. “We need this guy for your stupid ass Mission Impossible wannabe job and the first thing you go and do is fuck him? You motherfucker, Ackles. You motherfucker, ass-sucking prick. I can feel your thirst for him from miles away and I’m higher than the goddamn Empire State Building.”

He clicks his tongue once more and then looks at Jared.

“And he’s not even eighteen yet. Way to go, pervert.”

Jared’s brain fills with so much information so fast he doesn’t know how to react or what he should focus on first. He doesn’t know which part is more important.

This Chad guy called Jensen something else. Something different. _Ackles_. So far Jensen had all the information about him while Jared barely knew little in return.  

_But Jensen has a last name now_. And for the way it was thrown around is probably a real one.

Jared bites his tongue to control his sudden excitement over it.

Then, there’s the fact that Chad thinks they had sex. Jared gulps loudly, standing on the door as his cheeks start to light up. Chad thinks Jensen _fucked_ him. Which has to mean Jensen likes guys, right? At least enough to sleep with one.

So far they haven’t discussed anything related to dating, of course, why would they? This is a job. From all the information Jensen had of him, including what kind of gay porn Jared watches, he never brought up anything about Jared’s sexual orientation. Which never gave Jared the opportunity to ask about Jensen’s in return.

But now Jared has this piece of gold. The accusation of Jensen going down and dirty with him, which should make Jensen at least bi.

And finally, there was the part about Jensen being thirsty. _For him_.

The mere idea of Jensen _really_ wanting to have sex with Jared makes him want to press his bag against his crotch  so no evidence of how much Jared likes that is noticed. There's no way. Even if Jensen has been kind of flirting with him here and there it’s been mostly to rile Jared up, piss him off or embarrass him.

Jared has been telling himself for weeks Jensen is just being an ass, he’s never means any of that flirting.

This Chad guy must be really high as hell to think Jensen would go and sleep with him.

Jared turns his head slowly until he can stare at Jensen, who is pressing two fingers to the bridge on his nose, eyes closed and expression angry. He looks like he’s using all the control he has got in his body to remain calm, taking deep breaths.

Is in that small moment Jared is paying special attention to Jensen’s reactions that he notices, just for a split second, that Jensen’s ears are slowly turning deep red.

Jared blinks, thinking he must be seeing wrong. He hasn’t seen Jensen blush even once the entire time they have known each other. It’s always Jared the one making a fool of himself or getting shy after Jensen says or does something. Jensen is always _cool Jensen_. The one with the cocky smile and relaxed attitude, who is always in control of the situation and has a snarky reply up his sleeve at all times.

He almost expects Jensen to say something about Chad being insane, or even throw a _“Hey, he wishes”_ before giving Jared one of his _“you are such a kid”_ stares that usually irritates the living hell out of Jared.

But instead Jensen just groans and walks in, pushing Chad out of the way by shoving his shoulder when he goes past him.

“Two seconds in and you already gave me a migraine. You better have some Advil and something apart from junk food in your fridge, Murray.”

Jensen carries both his and Jared’s bags in before Jared can say anything, leaving Chad and Jared alone at the door. Chad turns again to look at Jared, nodding and then lowering his sunglasses over his nose.

“Jared, right?”

He nods, not sure of what the fuck happened or how to react, but since the moment Jensen appeared at his high school, he has been getting used to the general confusion.

“Dude, your hacking abilities? Fucking sick.” Chad puts his closed fist in front of Jared for a moment and holds it there. Jared hums a confused _“thanks?”_ scratching the back of his head.

Chad clicks his tongue and shakes his fist in the air. “Come on, don’t leave me hanging. Us hackers gotta stick together and have a good attitude, so please tell me you’re not a boring whore like Jensen. Bring it here, Padalecki.”

That pulls a little laugh out of Jared, who finally first bumps Chad back, just to get dragged in the penthouse with an arm around his neck a second later.

It's like Chad has known him his whole life.

Chad takes Jared to the kitchen and tells him to get anything he wants. The _house special_ are homemade pot brownies that Jared politely rejects when Chad offers as _“the best damn thing you’ll eat in this place, even if I didn’t make them myself. Can’t bake for shit.”_

Instead Jared accepts a slice of greasy pizza from the box over the electric stove and orange soda before Chad drags him to the living room, arm around his shoulders once again.

The place is huge, just as expected from the fancy entrance and monstrous kitchen, and now Jared can finally see some prove that an actual hacker lives in there. There are three laptops lined up over the coffee table, two of them with numbers changing at a high speed while the one in the middle has detailed a map of Canada with red dots all over it.

Jensen is sitting at one side of the coffee table, leaning in the big couch with a beer pressed to his forehead, eyes closed.

Maybe he wasn’t kidding about the migraine.

“Uh, your place is— _wow_ , really nice. Nothing like I ever imagined.” Jared says after a second, trying to fill in the silence. Chad pats him on the chest with one hand, nodding and looking around.

“Thanks, man. The reward of a lifetime of irresponsible and illegal hacking.” Chad removes his arm from around Jared’s shoulders and fucking _finger guns._ Jared hasn’t seen anyone do that unironically since he was twelve but somehow it works for Chad. “And hey, this can be you in some years if you keep on going with this line of business. Believe me, you have got what you need for this job.”

“Not like you.” Jared assures, looking back towards the three computers. “I mean, what you must get paid to have a place like this… which means you must be able to do amazing stuff to get that much money for it. I’m just— I’m _barely_ starting. I’m nothing like you.” Then, he adds in a little whisper only Chad can hear “Or Jensen.”

Chad takes off his sunglasses and throws them at Jensen, who swats them away when they hit his face, eyes still closed.

“I admit I’m good, but I can teach you. And Ackles, fuck, he does think he’s the ultimate shit, the cocky bastard.” Chad snorts, giving Jensen a side glance before crossing his arms over his chest.

Weird enough, Jared barely knows Chad yet he doesn’t feel uncomfortable about the blonde being almost naked. Jensen didn’t seem to bat an eyelid about it either. It’s probably a common occurrence then, Chad is just _that guy_ who eats pot, hacks into everything and walks around his penthouse almost naked.

Jared likes him.

“Let me guess. Ackles made some _suave_ entrance by showing off how good he is at sneaking in places and pick pocketing. Probably gave you some stupid speech proving he knew it all about you and then even compared himself to Danny and Rusty from Ocean's Eleven. Poor fucker, he does loves himself.”

Jared is laughing his ass off before he can stop himself, throwing his head back and almost dropping his soda. Jensen is looking at them now, unamused expression only making Jared laugh even harder.

“Great, the two computer geeks are best friends already. Just my luck.” Jensen groans, opening his beer.

“Dude you gotta stop comparing yourself to Pitt and Clooney, it's fucking embarrassing.” Chad insists and Jared thinks he’s going to get a stomach ache from how hard he ends laughing at Jensen’s bitter face.

Jared might end up liking Chad even more than he expected.

They spend most of the night talking about what Jared needs to do the next day after that.

Chad knows what they are doing and Jensen knows it too. Jared is the newbie, the _intern_. He’s the one most likely to fuck up—as Jensen points out, making Jared give him the finger as Chad throws Jensen an empty can of beer—so they need to focus on him.

Jared gets to borrow a laptop for the job and Chad quickly explains how to use it and the especially programs it has installed. They take some time discussing how Chad was able to track Jared’s information even if Jared thought he was protected from getting hacked himself.

It takes them up to two hours of what Jensen proclaims as “boring as fuck tech talk” until Jared thinks he has enough information to protect his computer better once he’s back home.

Worrying about this becoming “too real” seems almost idiotic by this point. Jared already took a plane all the way to New York, used a fake document and met someone who has worked for different hacking organizations and is currently planning a major robbery with a thief.

It is real already, has been real all along.

But fuck if it isn’t making Jared kind of ridiculously anxious at this point. They are going in tomorrow. If Jared can’t repeat what he did with the Harvard job this will all be for nothing.

“Don’t sweat it, I actually think Ackles is the one who will fuck up.” Chad assures Jared, leaning against a wall and lighting up a cigarette. “You’re a good enough hacker already, and you’re new at this, I know you will do your best. This guy, on the other hand? He’s an overconfident and annoying thief who never learns from his own mistakes even if he has years jerking off to this business. Ackles is an egocentric and overconfident motherfucker.”

“God, you never get tired of opening your piehole to talk shit.” Jensen shakes his head, squinting at Chad disapprovingly. “Hasn’t Chris been around lately to at least fill your mouth with something else?”

Jared widens his eyes and turns to look at the other side of room, expecting Chad to throw something more damaging than an empty beer can this time, yet instead of trying to hurt Jensen, Chad throws his head back and lets out a loud cackle, clapping his hands loudly.

He takes a drag of his cigarette and waggles his eyebrows at Jensen from behind his sunglasses next.

“Why do you think I’m not sitting down? Not exactly my mouth, but filling did happen indeed. Put some logic into it, blowjob lips.”

Jensen groans and looks away, making a gagging noise while Chad adds _“Maybe if you got laid too you wouldn’t be such an ass all the time, Ackles”. All_ while pointedly glancing at Jared, who worries himself drinking his third soda in silence while Jensen pretends he didn’t hear a thing, yet the tip of his ears seem to get a little red again.

“Is Kane here, by the way?” Jensen asks after clearing his throat, looking around before he looks up and down at Chad. Maybe he’s guessing that’s why Chad is in underwear. “Could use him for the job.”

“ _Nah_ ,” Chad takes a bite of the slice of pizza before leaning down two type something on one of the three laptops Jared saw when they first walked in. “Chris left with Danneel last night, they had some shit to do at Russia. Harris made a bet though, one grand you get busted doing this job and we all have to tag team to get you out of jail.”

Chad laughs and Jensen smiles back this time. It’s the cocky smile Jared is used to already, which gives him some confidence about the job they are going to do when he’s feeling quite nervous as the night goes on.

“Tell her I see her money and I double it.” Jensen looks at Jared, clearly excited, like a kid who’s planning on spending a day at Disneyworld. This time Jared can’t help but return the smile. “Me and him? We’re going to kill this. I already know it.”

Something warms up at the base of Jared’s stomach and he has to turn back to look at the screen of the laptop so Jensen doesn’t see how big his smile gets. His chest burns with newfound affirmation and confidence. He can see Jensen staring at him thanks to the reflection in the screen. Jensen is still smiling, crinkles appearing around his eyes.

Jared takes a deep breath, hands tingling and heart bumping fast.

_Yeah, they got this_.

 

 

—

 

 

Even if Jared doesn’t live at the best part of town—and by that he means he lives the worst part—his neighborhood always seems to be dead silent late at night. It’s almost creepy. Jared hated that when he was a kid and the noise completely died outside of his room or when he woke up in the middle of the night and he could only hear his own breathing. It made him feel even lonelier that he already was.

That’s the reason why an old rented car driving down the street at two in the morning on a Wednesday would probably be considered suspicious and have neighbors peeking out of their windows to look at them, but Jared couldn't care less.

He’s pumped. He has so much adrenaline in his body that he’s either going to explode or spend the rest of his life with a permanent smile. His cheeks hurt and he thinks he has been laughing all the way from the airport.

“And did you see the guy’s face when the art critic interviewing him told him he had a _fake_?” Jared howls in more laughter and is delighted to hear Jensen chuckle loudly by his side, nodding in agreement. “He really had no idea we had been in his place two days ago changing his real painting for a copy!”

Jared laughs again, clapping like a madman while sitting on the passenger seat. Jensen reaches with one hand to ruffle his hair and Jared leans into the touch almost instantly, grinning like is the best day of his life.

_They killed it_. The sneaking in, the hacking, the deactivating of security system, the stealing. The whole deal was on point, as if they had taken a thieves movie out of a cinema and made it reality. It worked out perfectly, with Jared getting too nervous and freaking the fuck out a couple times, but they did it anyway.

The best part was, without a doubt, discovering how perfectly well he and Jensen work together.

Here Jared thought he would have the blast of his life doing some real hacking, like the professionals do, and sure, he loved that part too. But God, he and Jensen were the best part from start to end.

They are _it_. Jared can’t describe it, how they just clicked and started to work in sync as soon as it was show time. It was like they had known each other for years instead of weeks. They read each other perfectly during the entire job, like they had just developed some impossible thieving connection.

Maybe Jared is exaggerating and reaching too much to read what he wants into the situation considering he has never had anything close to a best friend and never felt how he does when he’s around Jensen.

But he doesn’t care if he is. Who gives a shit if he’s fooling himself about how great he and Jensen work together. He has never felt like this before. He’s so crazy stupid _happy_. Like he found something he really likes and is doing it with someone who understands him.

For the first time, Jared doesn’t feel alone.

And even better? He feels like he belongs.

“You did so damn good, kiddo!” Jensen snickers by his side, rubbing his knuckles to the top of Jared’s head, who giggles and pushes him away, yelling _“Hands on the wheel, Jensen!”_ but hoping they can stay close enough to keep touching each other.

They stole a painting for Jensen to sell in some black market Jared still doesn’t understand. All he knows is that is an expensive piece of art from the nineteenth century worth an insane amount of money. They got in the house of a rich douche and changed the painting for a fake one after Jared could hack past the security system. Jensen's expression in the moment they could get in had been priceless, Jared is sure he’ll have it burned in his memory for the rest of his life.

He had been so proud of Jared he offered him to pull another job together right there at New York since they worked so well with the painting. And again, they _nailed_ it.

Chad had let Jared keep the laptop he borrowed him for the job as a prize for doing so well on his first real job and Jensen had invited him out for some real New York pizza, staying out until the next morning, talking and laughing, repeating to each other what they had done those past days like they hadn’t been together through it the entire time anyway.

Then, when they had been arriving to the SAT Airport, Jared had heard someone mention the painting they had just stolen that weekend. A TV was turned on in the waiting room and there he was, the guy they had stolen from, pretentious and full of himself while he talked to an art critic during a live interview.

Some museums all over the world had asked him to donate that piece of art he had but he kept insisting it was “too good” to let just _anyone_ see it at a museum.

“Poor asshole,” Jensen had snickered by his side, carrying Jared’s bags even though they weren’t pretending to be a couple this time around. “You think he’s going to find out right now? The art critic seems pretty legit, maybe he’ll notice is a fake.”

Jared had smiled, nibbling on his bottom lip and smiling at Jensen. “I hope so.”

And he sure did.

They had laughed about it all the way back to Jared’s place.

“Who knew you could have a sense of humor once you got to get your geek out and put down a couple security systems?” Jensen shakes his head in amusement, driving around Jared’s building to park behind it. They made enough noise already but he already told Jared it would be better if he got in the apartment using the fire escape.

_“Me?”_ Jared repeats, touching his chest while speaking with a fake offended voice. “You were the one throwing the moody-asshole parade until you could break into someone’s house.”

“Hey, no judging. Takes one to know one.” Jensen tips an invisible hat at Jared before opening the door and getting out of the car to go for Jared’s luggage. Jensen didn’t bring anything with him, leaving all his stuff at Chad’s place back at New York. Jared didn’t think much of it. Jensen probably had more clothes back here from his first trip anyway.

Jared leans against his seat, letting the cold air coming from Jensen’s open door hit him in the face while he takes deep breaths. The smile is still there. It might really never go away.

This has been the most irresponsible and incredible week of his life. He wishes this were something he could do all the time, make it a usual thing. Maybe meet with Jensen every other month to pull more jobs? He hasn’t asked about it so far but Jared has a good feeling Jensen would accept.

They did work out pretty well together after all.

“Hey, Jensen, I have been thinking—” Jared starts, opening the door and getting out of the car. But he doesn’t get to finish the sentence. Before he notices, Jensen is closing the trunk and throwing a black bag at him that Jared didn’t see before. He barely catches it before it hits the ground and for a moment it almost makes Jared fall too. “What is this?”

“Your part of the cut.” Jensen shrugs, taking the other bag—the one Jared recognizes, it’s his luggage—to leave it by Jared’s side. “We’re going half and half as promised, you can count. Not out here though, but you know, is all there.”

“Wow, okay.” Jared blinks, looking at the black duffel bag as he tries to height it. It’s pretty heavy and he can only wonder how much money is in there. For a moment he had forgotten about the money. “This is— nice, thank you. Now I’ll have money to always pay for Nan’s medicine.”

“And have a big start for college.” Jensen adds, clapping Jared’s shoulder. “Now you can go off and study anywhere you want. I sure hope you go far in life, Jared. It was really nice working with you, I’ll never forget this job.”

Oh.

_Oh_.

It’s a goodbye.

Jensen is giving him his part of the money, paying him for the job and he’s saying goodbye. He’s telling him to go off to study something at college, to take care and have a nice life. The usual _you deserve good, nice to meet you, see you never_.

Jensen is not going to stay.

And he’s not planning to call Jared again for them to work together. He’s basically saying _goodbye and good luck._

Jensen will never forget this job because is something that won’t happen again.

It’s surprising to realize in that second how incredibly miserable Jared feels with that idea. He won’t see Jensen again. No more planning, no more joking, no more stealing while having the time of their lives.

They are not _it_ , but _this_ is.

“Oh, _yeah_.” Jared nods, looking down until his eyes are hidden behind the bangs on his forehead. “Yeah, for sure. I-I had fun and it was— _yeah_. Thank you for the chance and all. I guess I’ll, _uh—_ always remember it, for sure. _Thanks_.” He’s stuttering, feeling like an utter idiot for expecting Jensen to feel anything Jared did. Jensen is used to this kind of stuff, it wasn’t anything special for him.

God knows how many people Jensen have worked with; this was just another week of work for him while it changed Jared’s life.

It didn’t meant the same for both of them. Jared knew Jensen was only hiring him since the start.

“Take care too, don’t get killed or anything.” Jared laughs, trying to sound nonchalant, but it comes forced and dry. He nods again, still hiding his face. He can’t even look at Jensen, he’ll just turn around and go up the fire escape without looking back. It would be so fucking embarrassing if Jensen saw him tearing up, better to leave on a high note so Jensen won’t remember him like the brat who got too attached too fast. “Good working with you, bye Jensen.”

There is a tap on his chin before he can turn around, forcing him to look up.

Jensen stares at him, hand burning Jared’s skin as he cups his face. Jared doesn’t know what to say or how to read the way Jensen is looking at him, but he doesn’t dare to ask or move his face away. He might as well drink in the last moments of them being together before it becomes a memory that Jared will never get over.

To his further surprise, Jensen steps in closer, his other hand moving up to brush Jared’s bangs out of his forehead so he can look at him in the eye. Jared gulps loudly but Jensen does nothing, leaving his left hand on the top of Jared’s head, fingers tangled between the brown hairs.

“Or maybe…” Jensen starts and a smile pulls on the corner of his lip. The hand cupping his face turns to so he can rub the back of it against Jared’s cheek. “Maybe we could do it again if you want, Jay.” 

This can’t be happening for real.

“Really?”

Jensen nods, and his expression is different from any other Jared has seen so far. It's not cocky, overconfident or stone serious. Jared can’t quite put his finger on it.

“Really. I think we’re pretty special together to part ways so soon, don’t you think? Kind of feels that we’re _it_.”

And as Jared came to learn in the following five years of his life, they _were_.


	3. Chapter 3

—Chapter 3—

 

 

Jared makes it downstairs barely past noon after taking the longest bath of his life. He knows he should have been downstairs helping pick and organize everything for his and Stephen’s engagement party like he has promised but he really didn’t want to end up there too early and with too much free time for Stephen’s mom to start talking about _kids_ again. Jesus, Jared doesn’t know if he wants children or not.

He and Stephen haven’t thought or discussed it, so why on earth he has to talk it with Stephen’s mom? Jared understands he was going to be part of the family now but he isn’t not sure if he’s comfortable with Stephen’s parents taking a vote on everything they are planning to do as a married couple. Jared hadn’t said a thing about them voting on matters like the wedding and even the honeymoon location since it’s their money, they are paying for the wedding and the honeymoon is their gift, but Jared is going to have to talk to Stephen about that later.

The living room is full.

The main door is open and there are people coming in and out of the place, carrying flowers, tables and all kinds of decorations.

Jared refrains to make a face when he sees red roses in even more bright red heart-shaped bases that have his and Stephen’s names written in gold inside of yet _another_ heart.

He can’t focus on how embarrassingly lovey-dovey that is before he sees someone carrying a goddamn framed _oil_ _painting_ of him and Stephen holding hands with a rainbow colored background, it has more roses around the edges and the words “I Do” between them.

What the hell is _that_?

He stops in front of one of the guys, cutting him in before he can go to the side of the first floor they completely emptied to hold part of the party.

“Dude! Careful, I almost dropped—!”

“Hey, hi. I’m the guy in the gigantic creepy picture that you’re carrying there.” Jared explains and the guy looks up at the frame and then back at Jared, wincing in what can only be sympathy. _Yeah_. Jared also thinks is the cheesiest, ugliest thing he has seen in his life, he kind of wants to throw up. “Can you tell me what the hell is this? I told your boss I did not want flashy decoration. We said we wouldn’t even have flowers at all!”

“Oh, yeah.” The guy gives him another sympathetic look, but this one seems more like a _‘you poor fucker’_ than the last one. “Your mother-in-law called some days ago and changed everything.”

Jared sighs and covers his face with both hands, groaning as the guy walks around him to go hang the most hideous thing Jared has seen somewhere all the guests will probably see.

He gets it. Stephen’s parents want their engagement and wedding to scream “gay marriage” to the top of its lungs, but they are completely falling into the stereotype. Jared hates red flowers. And the oil painting? Fucking hell, didn’t they have a picture they could print instead? Is like they also want the wedding to scream “rich douchebags” too.

This entire banquette is mostly to bring more attention to Stephen’s dad election as senator. Like rubbing in people faces _“See, you chose the right guy, see? He supports the LGBTQ community! His son is even going to get married to another man!”_

Jared has no idea how Stephen being the one who is bisexual and is going to get married says anything about his dad beyond being a nice ally, but Jared is playing along with it. Stephen kind of asked Jared to let his parents parade their engagement around so his dad gets good press.

One again, how this reflects at all on Stephen’s dad is beyond Jared, but they had all been accepting to him since Stephen brought him around and introduced him as his boyfriend, so he guesses he can play along.

Even if Jared is a nobody who comes from the worst streets of Texas, they never treated him as less. Actually, Stephen’s mom took it upon herself to buy Jared clothes every time they visited, slowly trying to make him dress “more appropriate”, which gave the newspapers tons of headlines about the Amell family taking in a charity case as Stephen’s boyfriend. Jared doesn’t understands why she wants him to dress like he is fifty and going golfing every day—kind of like Stephen himself dresses—as if clothes say anything about anyone. Jared has plenty of money from his hacking and thieving days, but he likes to go around in a damn shirt and old jeans.

But not anymore, not now that he is going to become an Amell.  

Jared guesses he can just ignore the annoying parts of this charade. Let Stephen’s dad get, somehow, good press from them getting married. That was the point of Stephen proposing during a live interview, right?

He had thought that they were eventually going to get married, and Jared guesses that, _sure_ , he can marry Stephen. He likes him and they get along pretty well, Jared can see them getting together as more than boyfriends and having a nice enough life. That’s what he wanted back then and that’s what he got now.

Even with the initial shock from the proposal, Jared decided that marrying Stephen sooner rather than later wouldn’t change a thing. The result would be the same if he married him tomorrow or in ten years. A nice enough life a little sooner than expected but same thing either way. Jared can live with that.

“Well, good morning, _you_. I didn’t see you during breakfast.”

Jared looks up to the stairs when he hears that voice, smiling a little when he sees Stephen walking towards him. He’s dressed in expensive black pants and a rolled up white shirt. Jared has always seen Stephen impeccably dressed, even when they were at college. He’s clean-shaven and has a new tie to match the fancy look. When he leans in to press a quick peek on Jared’s lips, Jared can smell a hint of expensive cologne too.

“Hey, I know, sorry. I overslept.” Jared shrugs with an apologetic smile and Stephen chuckles, tucking some of Jared’s hair behind his ear.

“It’s fine, all the stress from planning this thing must be killing you.  You deserved a rest.” Stephen brushes it off, looking around. “You did a great job thought, everything looks great.”

Jared bites the inside of his cheeks, trying not to laugh. This is nothing like what he wanted, Jared actually finds it hideous. This is all Stephen’s mom decoration, and all her planning. Jared has no idea why he was asked for help to pick and choose everything just for it to get dismissed. Formality, he guesses? Considering he’s one of the grooms.

Stephen didn’t give his opinion on anything, saying Jared had great taste and he could pick for both of them. When Jared asked Stephen’s mom if they shouldn’t ask what he thought on some of the details she just said her son was too busy to bother him with silly decoration problems.

Jared has the impression she’s one of those people who thinks that someone in a gay relationship has to be the man in the couple, as if they both weren’t guys. In this case Jared can see that she thinks of Stephen as the _man_ between them. The one already working—thanks to his dad finding him a job before Stephen even graduated—the one with the big house and big last name. The one who brings money home. _“The one wearing the pants in the relationship”_. Which is of course retrograde, misogynistic and makes no sense.

Jared isn’t sure what rubs him wrong the most: the fact that she thinks Stephen is better than him—even if Jared graduated with honors from Law School when Stephen didn’t have any recognitions during his own graduation—and therefore that makes Jared the “girl” in the relationship, or that she thinks that the role of “the girl” means being less successful and deserving of less respect.

“I’m glad you like it.” Jared forces a smile, looking around. Well, who cares, he can ignore the cheesy flowers and stupid paintings during the night. He’ll have fun with Stephen there, that’s what counts, right? Screw his mom. “It’s going to be really fun tonight.”

Stephen nods but he’s not looking around at all, eyes fixed on Jared.

“Thanks for agreeing to all this for my dad’s sake, I know it can be too much.” Stephen rubs Jared cheek and then leans in a second time, pressing a kiss to his forehead now. He rarely kisses him for real in front of his family but Jared understands why.

“Of course, it's your family. And it’s _our_ engagement at the end of the day, is still about us too.”

“Sure, sure. It will all be worth it at the end, you will see.” Stephen moves his hand away, opening his tablet to start checking something. “Thank you, baby, I really appreciate it.”

Jared nods, more to himself, before looking around again. He wonders if he can sneak out or go back to his room. Clearly he doesn’t need to help at all since Mrs. Amell is on top of everything. Jared doesn’t want to stick around to pretend his opinion is needed.

“Damnit!” Stephen groans, making Jared turn around to look at him with a frown. He doesn’t get to ask what’s wrong before Stephen looks at him, waving his tablet in the air. “This thing doesn’t work for anything, freezes for whatever I try to do with it. I’ll have to buy a new one.”

“It’s almost new _Steph’_...” Jared shakes his head, taking the tablet from Stephen’s hands carefully so he can check on it. “I’m sure there’s something we can do to the system before trying to replace it, maybe if we check the settings for the—”

The tablet is gone from his hands as Jared tries to keep talking, Stephen tugs it away from him before he can do anything to it, shaking his head while waving one hand in the air.

“I already tried and nothing worked. And no offense baby, but we both know I’m better handling computers than you. I have used all kind of technology since I was little, I know this stuff.” He pats Jared’s cheeks twice before hanging the tablet to his personal assistant, who has been hovering close to them for a while. “Felicia, please send this one back and get me a new one as soon as you can.”

The irony of Stephen’s words should make Jared’s head explode.

He looks at his empty hands before crossing them over his chest, looking up at his fiancé. “While I grew up poor, which must mean I don’t know how to use anything? Is that what you mean?”

Stephen laughs, like is nothing, and starts going upstairs again. “You know I didn’t mean that, Tristan, I was just joking. Don’t turn _this_ into _that_. I’ll just replace it for a new one, no need for us to discuss about it. See you during lunch, alright? Love you, everything looks great.”

Stephen is out of sight before Jared can answer to anything, standing there doing nothing in the middle of the stairs while more people rush inside of the huge house carrying all kinds of decorations Jared would have made fun of until he cried some years ago.

And now they are _his_ engagement party decorations. _Wonderful_.

 

—

 

 

As it turns out, the decorations are awful _and_ Jared doesn’t get to have a fun time with his fiancé either.

Sure, Stephen was there with him the first thirty minutes of the reunion and Jared actually thought he would have fun. They had been standing next to the door, waiting to greet the guests while making fun of the horrendous painting Mrs. Amell had ordered for the engagement party. Stephen kept insisting they would come back to life in the middle of the night to murder the entire family— _“Look at my face in that thing, I look like a maniac who uses a kitchen knife as preferred murder weapon”_ — making Jared choke on champagne while trying to hide his giggles from Stephen’s parents, who kept sending stern glances at him.

It only lasted so long though.

As soon as the most important guests arrived Stephen had been gone from his side to go chat with them and make good relations.

Which left Jared standing alone in one corner of the big living room, nursing his second glass of champagne and looking around rather bored and uncomfortable.

Even if this is his engagement party and therefore one of the two main keys of the celebration, nobody really cares about Jared.

What made Jared somehow relevant to most of these people is the fact that he has a ring in his hand that links him back to the Amell family. Him, by himself, isn’t all that interesting for their guests. They have all known the Amell family for years and are eager to catch up with them and talk until the night is over. _But Jared_.

Well, Jared is just the boyfriend. The soon to be addition, charity case the Amell family _oh-so-generously_ picked up from the poor American streets.

Jared vaguely thinks how he is actually pretty used to this by now. Not that it made it any less tedious, but Jared knows how this all works after some years of dating Stephen. Nobody really cares about him when they go to different events. Jared always stays out of photographs during them—not that the press cares about him anyway—and mostly keeps to himself during dinner parties or charity events.

He lets out a sigh, leaning against one of the walls and closing his eyes for a second.

There are _so_ many people around. Jared has never been a fan of crowds, he’s bad at making small talk when it's few people and makes it impossible for him to give it a try when there are this many people around. _People he barely knows._

It gives him some level of social anxiety to be forced to interact with people he has never met without anyone there introducing him or at least reminding him the names of the people who came celebrate his engagement.

“Maybe I can convince Stephen to not invite this many people to the wedding.” Jared whispers to himself, shaking his head. He doesn’t want to spend his own fucking marriage in a corner with nobody to talk to. Aren’t these supposed to be one of their most precious memories of their relationship or some shit?

So far all Jared is going to remember is the taste of the champagne and the sound of one of Tchaikovsky’s waltz softly playing in the background.

Rubbing on everyone face the _“snooty rich people”_ fact indeed.

Jared lets out a second sigh, opening his eyes and staring at the big glass lamp hanging from the ceiling. He smiles unconsciously, eyes going around the screws that keep it in place and trying to guess how much it weights. Some years back, he would have been at one of these parties just to try to steal something like _that_ without getting caught.

But that was too long ago. Jared isn’t even that person anymore.

He brings up his glass of champagne to give it another sip, looking down. Yet he stops mid-way, glass hovering a couple inches from his mouth as Jared stares right ahead of him to a singular spot in the middle of the crowd.

Jared’s eyes widen and his jaw drops, hand starting to shake in front of him.

It’s only a fraction of a second, but it feels like everyone else freezes around them to let him look at the familiar green eyes that stare back at him before getting lost between the crowd.

Jared takes a sharp breath, gripping the glass of champagne until it feels like it’s going to break between his fingers.

 _Jensen_.

The realization feels like a punch to the stomach, leaving Jared out of breath and glued to his spot for a little too long. Then, everything seems to rush in a speed around him, blood pumping too hard and heart jumping painfully between his ribcage. Jared acts without thinking, leaving his glass of champagne on one of the tables close to him before he starts to walk towards the spot where he saw the familiar face.

He tries to be polite, saying “excuse me” with a high-pitched voice, sneaking between the guests to try to get closer and closer.

The fact that Jared can’t see Jensen anymore makes a second explosion happen in his chest and he starts straight on pushing the guests out of his way as he walks past them, ignoring the protests and the offended stares that don’t linger on him for long.

Jared looks around as he gets to the middle of the living room, right under the huge lamp, where he thought he saw Jensen’s face looking at him. Jared turns, face snapping in all directions as his breaths grows shorter.

The more he looks around and can’t find the face again the more he feels like he’s asphyxiating.

_He saw him._

Jensen was _there_. He couldn’t imagine it, Jared’s brain is not kind like that. He hasn’t seen Jensen in more than his dreams since they broke apart years ago. After being together for so long and feeling that his entire world turned around Jensen, Jared was convinced he would start seeing him around on all corners or confusing him with other people on the streets, like a lame version of that chick from Twilight when she got dumped.

But it never happened.

All Jared has of Jensen are the memories he doesn’t allow himself to think about.

He wouldn’t imagine him, not right there, not so clear and sudden.

“Sir?”

A voice asks behind him and Jared jumps around to look immediately, even when someone in his brain tells him almost instantly _“that’s not his voice_ ”, but a part of Jared is still hopeful.

It’s one of the waiters, carrying a silver tray with food and looking at him with a slightly worried expression.

Not Jensen.

“Are you alright? Do you need me to call Mr. Amell?”

For a second Jared thinks they are going to call Stephen’s dad because Jared’s a weird guy acting like he’s drunk and is going to be escorted out of his own engagement party for being a fucking embarrassment. But then he realizes the guy keeps shooting glances to the hideous painting Jared knows is behind him.

The guy knows it’s him. So he doesn’t mean Stephen’s dad, he wants to call _Stephen_ so he can check on his clearly altered fiancé.

“ _Yeah_. I mean no— _wait_ , I-I mean that I’m alright, yeah.” Jared clarifies as soon as the guy’s expression grows more worried. “And _no_ , you don’t have to call Stephen. I’m just— there are so many people in here, I think I need to take a breath.” Jared lies pathetically. He’s so much better at lying after years of practice but he can’t even bring himself to do so right now.

The guys seems to think about it and nods, somehow believing Jared’s lame excuse for his weird behavior.

“Have you—” Jared starts, looking around him once again. “Did you see a guy standing here a moment ago? He’s almost my height, maybe two inches shorter, and— and he has green eyes, freckles?” He tries to explain. “Wearing a black suit?”

_Like everyone else in here, you dumbass._

“He was standing right here.” Jared insists, yet it sounds like he’s trying to convince himself more than the confused waiter. “I saw him right here, just two seconds ago. He was here, and he was…he was looking to that corner, maybe you saw?”

The waiter’s expression is all Jared needs to see to know the answer. The guy shrugs, giving him a sympathetic smile that just makes Jared feel worse.

“I’m sorry, sir. I really didn’t see anything. Like you said, there are so many people.” The guy gives a look around too, trying to find someone who matches Jared’s description, but it's no good. Jared does the same, turning and searching more desperately and eagerly than the other man. There’s nobody like that around them. “I’m sure you’ll find him later. Would you like some shrimp?”

When the guy moves closer to him to offer him some of the food he has on his tray, Jared notices what he was too distracted to see before. Green eyes.

The guy has the same green color Jensen does.

The pang in the middle of Jared’s chest is immediate, like someone is squeezing inside of him, taking out all the sour emotions and leaving them floating around in the middle of his painful disappointment.

“I…” Jared trails off, eyes fixed on the waiter’s, trying to realize if seeing them for far away would make him start imagining things. They look so much alike. _Maybe_. He was standing so far away, and he was thinking about stealing the lamp. He was thinking of back then. “No, thank you.”

Of course. Why would Jensen be there in the first place?

He’s pathetic.

“I’m not feeling good, if— if Stephen asks please tell him I went to my room for a moment. Excuse me.”

Jared’s gone before he can hear the waiter’s answer, walking past him and going straight to the stairs. He bumps into more people on his way there, but this time he doesn’t stop to apologize or say anything at all. He can barely hear the music or the loud chatting all around him anymore.

All he wants to do is be alone.

Going missing in his own engagement party should be a problem in theory, everyone should notice one of the grooms going missing, but this is clearly not the case. He has been invisible all night, it won’t change a thing if he’s there or not.

Going to the second floor and leaving behind all the people make Jared feel both better and worse at the same time. At least he doesn’t have to stay there and fake a smile when he’s feeling like utter shit. However, being all alone now makes the feeling of what happened much more real and painful.

For a stupid moment he really thought it was Jensen.

And what’s worst: he was happy to see him.

Jared makes it to his room, closing the door behind him and leaning against it immediately. What was that just now? This is not him, not anymore. Hoping to see Jensen appear out of nowhere is nonsense. It’s been years. Jared should know by now that’s not going to happen, he knew it the day it was all over and Jensen didn’t come back for him. Jensen didn’t do it then and he won’t do it now. 

Jared closes his eyes and lets out a sigh, pressure on his chest still making it hard to breathe properly.

It was just a second, he got distracted thinking of things he shouldn’t have and he thought he saw something. That’s all. Jared is not seeking him on purpose. He had that dream that morning but it means nothing.

He’s not even Jared anymore. He has a new name, a new life.

Jared has a fiancé, for God’s sake.

“This is ridiculous. Seeing Jensen’s face in the middle of my engagement party.” Jared mumbles to himself. Saying the name out loud doesn’t help, yet it might make the idea get in his head at last. Jared can’t do this, he’s getting _married_. “I’m not supposed to do that anymore…”

_Think about Jensen._

“And why is that?”

The voice in the middle of the dark room makes Jared gasp loudly and jump backwards, pressing himself to the closed door as he opens his eyes and looks around. He doesn’t need to find him in the dark room, he knows that voice. _Would recognize it anywhere_. Jared slides his hand across the closed door until he reaches the wall and touches around until he finally finds the light switch.

Jensen is there.

Sitting on his bed and looking intently at him, face unexpressive except for the hint of a smile tugging at the end of this lips. He’s wearing a black suit, the two first buttons of his white shirt undone and the tie loose around his neck. He looks like he belongs in that room much more than Jared himself, comfortably leaning on his bed, like Jensen’s successful and confident vibes mix perfectly with the big and fancy guest room that has been given to Jared for weeks now.

He’s clean-shaven and hair spiked up, as always, but a tad longer than Jared remembered.

Jared’s eyes look up and down at him, too surprised and out of his own senses to stop himself or even hide the fact that he’s staring. Jensen is there. In the middle of Jared’s room during his engagement party, wearing a damn suit and acting like he belongs nowhere else in the fucking word.

Jensen stands up from the bed, starting to take off his tie with one hand. He has never liked to wear suits, Jared remembers that much. Jensen would start undressing as soon as their jobs where they had to sneak in and pretend to be someone different were done. Jared wonders for a moment who the hell Jensen pretended to be to get in there.

Did he steal an invitation? Pretended to lose it and gave a name from someone already in the list? Got inside the house, passing all security, without getting caught by anyone?

Charmed one of the waitress to let him in? With Jensen, all options are possible.

Jared presses himself closer to the door when Jensen walks closer to him, like a scared and cornered animal about to get mauled by the big bad wolf.

Still, Jared can help but appreciate Jensen’s sight once he’s close enough.

Like expensive wine they used to steal from mansions like this one, Jensen just gets better with age.

“What are you doing here?”

It takes a second for Jared to realize that’s _his_ voice. It slips out, like pure instinct. He’s proud of himself when he doesn’t hear himself stutter or mumble. Maybe if he wasn’t pressing himself away from Jensen for dear life he would conquer the _cool_ attitude, but there’s no way in hell he’s getting an inch closer. He’s still too shocked to get out of his personal space and go into Jensen’s. That would be a _terrible_ idea.

Jensen shrugs, taking off his jacket and throwing it over the bed, like this is his house and he can walk around and do what he pleases in it. He unbuttons the sleeves of his shirt and starts to roll them up arms, taking his sweet time and acting casual, like he last saw Jared two days ago. Jared eyes fly to Jensen’s arms before he can help himself, eyes following the curve of his muscles, fabric getting tight around Jensen’s biceps.

Jared gulps and hurries to look away. This is _terrible_ , this can’t be fucking happening.

They were not supposed to ever cross paths again.

“I asked you, what are you—?” Jared starts again, speaking louder than before. 

“I didn’t get an invitation to the banquet, figured it got lost in the mail.” Jensen interrupts before Jared can finish his question. Jensen finishes rolling up his sleeves at last and crosses his arms over his chest.

And then he smiles fucking cocky smirk Jared got use to since the moment they met, when he was a high school brat and Jensen appeared to show him the world.

Jensen smiles, full of himself, and then ads. “Nice ring.”

Jared follows Jensen’s eyes when they flicker down to his hand and then back up, keeping eye contact.

The band around his finger seems to get tighter and heavier almost immediately under Jensen’s stare. Jared opens and closes his mouth stupidly, not knowing what to say as he feels his face burning red in record time.

A part of himself wants to hide his hand away, put the ring out of Jensen’s sight. He wants to take it off. A desperate, old part of himself that still kicks alive inside of him every now and then wants to slide the finger off of his finger and say _“I’m sorry. I thought about you when he gave it to me. I think about you every time I look at it.”_

But he doesn’t.

Because there’s the other part of himself who wants to lift his chin and put his hand in the air so Jensen gets a better look of the engagement ring. It's the part that remembers locking himself in the bathroom of their room, crying and waiting for Jensen to come looking for him, just to hear him leave instead. It's the part that decided he was going to be happy even if he had to do it without the only person who could ever make him feel that way.

At the end, Jared does nothing. He simply stands there, watching Jensen give him inquisitive looks and staring at the ring Stephen have Jared.

This must be the worst moment Jared ever had to deal with.

 _No_ , no way. He can’t give Jensen that much credit. Is it even worse than the time they broke up? The day his grandmother died? The anniversary Jared spent in a hospital crying and begging the doctors to please let him go in to see Jensen after he got shot? The first day he woke up in a motel room after traveling all night, knowing he was back to the real, normal life without Jensen?

No. Jared has done much worse than this.

And while Jensen is a big part in the list, he doesn’t get to add another bullet point in it.

Not today. This is supposed to be Jared’s fucking engagement party. He should be down there holding Stephen’s hand and drinking champagne between kisses.

Jensen, on the other hand, just stands there. He’s acting casual, looking around and then back at Jared, like they have been chatting about the weather this whole time and he’s waiting for Jared’s input about rainy or sunny days.

But Jared knows better. It is, in fact, an act.

They know each other, no matter how many years have passed. Jensen knew Jared would spot him in the middle of the crowd and go look for him. He probably knew Jared would want to go to his room.

And Jared fell for every step, just as Jensen predicted.

But this is a two way street. Maybe Jensen forgot that Jared knows him just as much. He’s pretending to be calm. Jared has seen him confident and in control of the situation, and this is not it. Jensen is fidgeting, barely so, but its there. That’s why he has been moving. Taking off his tie, his jacket, rolling sleeves, and now looking around the room but always coming back to stare at Jared. He even catches Jensen giving him a full up-and-down look.

Jensen wants to pretend to be in control so is only Jared the nervous one.

And even if it’s fake, it’s fucking working for the cocky bastard.

Jensen has always been better at faking it until you make it. He knows how to pretend to be chill no matter how uncomfortable and dangerous the situation is. Jared learned to do that to some degree. But one, he hasn’t done this in years. And two, he could never really pretend in front of Jensen. Others? Sure thing. But Jensen has always been an exception.

For everything.

Jared can’t hold Jensen’s gaze for long, looking down and hiding his eyes behind his bands like he use to do when he was a teenager first meeting Jensen, heart pounding so hard in his chest he’s surprised Jensen can’t heart it too by this point.

“J-Just tell me what you want.” Jared stutters, trying to keep his tone harsh. Jensen can’t be in control. Not after all these years. He doesn’t get to appear and still cause the same effect on Jared. Even less when Jared is going to marry someone else.

In fact, how fucking dare Jensen do this? _Why_ he has to do this? Jensen’s one who did it, he chose being a thief over being with Jared. And now Jared is try to move on, thing that has been harder than he will ever admit to Jensen’s face.

As he watches Jensen not answer to his question but simply look back at him, Jared’s level of anger starts to go up, slowly overpowering his own nerves.

Why can’t Jensen let him do this, move on? Did he expect Jared to stay alone the rest of his life, crying over the guy who didn’t love him enough to choose him?

_Well, fuck Jensen._

He sees Jensen finally open his mouth, maybe to explain himself, yet Jared doesn’t give him the chance, words exploding out of him before he can keep simply thinking them.

“You just enjoy doing this, don’t you?” Jared asks suddenly, giving an unexpected step closer to Jensen, who closes his mouth immediately but makes a confused face. “It’s always about what you want to do, isn’t it, Jensen? All this...appearing again, just when I’m going to get _married!_ ”

He’s yelling now, and Jared couldn’t care less. He’s so angry. So fucking angry to see Jensen. And yet, he’s still happy. That angers him the most, that after all that went down between them, Jared’s heart is still bursting with happiness to see Jensen there. Jared _hates_ it.

“Do you have a sensor or some shit, Jensen? _Oh! Jared must be moving on_ so I’m going to fucking appear in his life again because I’m an asshole who always does what pleases me—!”

 _“Excuse me?”_ Jensen snaps, frown appearing on his face as he gives a step on his own between them. “What are you even blabbering about? What a surprise to see you’re still a snooty little brat! I’m an asshole who always does what pleases me? That’s fucking rich! Here I am, risking my own neck—”

Jared snorts, loud and annoying, making Jensen give him a murdering stare right away.

“How so?!” Jared replies with a hysteric shriek. “I bet sneaking in a mansion is so hard for you after doing it for years. _Please_ , Jensen. Don’t make me laugh.”

“You _little—_ ” Jensen hisses and Jared knows he has done it. Jensen is angry for real, which makes Jared smile openly. Jensen squints at him, shaking his head like Jared is a five year old too annoying to deal with. “You don’t know _shit_. You might think you’re such a big deal now because you’re marrying your rich snobby boyfriend and living the rich kid life.” Jensen arches an eyebrow and snorts too, giving Jared a dismissive little smile “But you're still the same clueless brat from back then, pretentious diamond ring or not.”

 _What?!_ Jared thinks, opening his mouth and eyes in disbelief as Jensen stands there like the cocky asshole he is and will always be.

“ _Hey!_ Stephen coming from money has nothing to do with—” But Jensen lets out a sarcastic laugh, throwing his head back, before Jared can finish his sentence. Jared is going to _kill_ him. There has never been anybody who can piss him off as quickly as Jensen does, that sure as hell hasn’t changed either. “You fucking ass, stop laughing! It's true!”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “Yeah, sure thing. He being the equivalent of Richie Rich has _nothing_ to do with this.”

“Fuck you, Ackles. _How fucking dare you—!”_

There’s a knock that interrupts Jared mid-sentence and they both stop advancing towards each other to turn to look at the door. Jared didn’t notice at what point they started moving, but now they are both inches away and looking like they are about to start throwing punches and rolling around the room.

There’s second knock on the door and then he hears Stephen’s unmistakable voice.

“Baby, are you okay?”  
  
Jared first instinct is to push Jensen away and hurry back to the door, locking it immediately.

His head is dizzy with too many things happening at the same time. Mainly Jensen being there in his room during his engagement party, annoying the fuck out of him in record time, and now Stephen, his fucking fiancé, appearing there to check on him too. It's like all of Murphy’s laws decided to screw with him that night.

When he turns to look back at Jensen, he’s sporting a small mischievous smile. _No way._ If he tries anything Jared will push him out of the window. 

Jared makes a face and points and Jensen, mouthing _“you zip your piehole”_. If Stephen hears he’s locked with another guy in his room shit could go down so easily, he could think something different of the entire situation.

And this is their engagement party, god dammit.  
  
Yet instead of listening to Jared, _as always,_ all Jensen does is widen his smile. Jared watches, in horror, as Jensen takes a deep breath and opens his mouth, ready to speak in a voice so loud even Stephen’s parents in the first floor are going to hear him.  
  
So Jared acts without thinking.

One second he’s standing next to the door and the next he’s jumping Jensen and tackling him over, making them both fall on his bed. Jensen is clearly not expecting it or he would have dodged Jared without batting an eyelid, so at least Jared had the element of surprise on his favor.

As soon as they land on the bed they start struggling, rolling around silently and trying to push the other down. Jared uses his height to overpower Jensen but it only lasts a second, Jensen is more skilled in wrestling than him and—as an annoying part of his brain decides to remind him in that moment—Jensen has always known how to pin him down over a bed.

Jensen locks both of Jared’s wrists over his head with one hand with no problem, covering his mouth with the other. _Motherfucker_. But Jared’s not done, and this doesn’t have to be a fair fight since all Jensen has been doing, from appearing here to winning their wrestling match way too fast, is nothing but unfair.

Jared opens his mouth and bites Jensen’s hand hard just as he uses his left leg to knee Jensen right on the crotch.

The pressure from his wrists is gone and Jared jumps Jensen a second time, making him fall back on the bed as Jared covers his mouth with both hands so Jensen can’t complain or curse out loud after Jared hit him where it hurts the most. Jensen mumbles angrily against Jared’s palm as he uses both hands to press between his legs, face red and groaning as much as he can with his mouth covered.

“That’s what you get for being an ass. Now stay quiet.” Jared whispers, leaning down so his face is close and Jensen can hear him. Jensen groans against Jared’s hand again, giving him an utterly betrayed look, like he can’t believe Jared just hit him there. “Hey, we’re not together anymore. I don’t care what happens to your dick.”

Jared smiles mockingly and tries not to laugh when Jensen shakes his head disapprovingly and mumbles something against his hand that Jared can’t understand.

There’s a third knock that brings Jared back to reality. _Stephen’s there._

“Is everything alright?” Jared hears Stephen ask once again, and next there’s the sound of him trying to open the door but not being able to because of the lock. “Tristan?”

There’s a loud snort against his hand and then a bite that makes Jared press his lips together not yell. He moves his hand away from Jensen’s face, who doesn’t look like he intends to try to make any noises anymore, but seems like he wants to laugh for real this time.

The worst part is knowing exactly why that is.

“ _Tristan?_ ” Jensen repeats in a mix of mockery and disbelief. “You _hate_ your middle name.”

Jared flushes almost instantly, a little embarrassed.

“Not when _he_ says it.” He lies.

It works almost like magic. Jensen’s smile disappears after Jared’s reply and he goes quiet, leaning back against the bed and giving him a strange look before casting his eyes away.

And that’s that. Jensen is now pretending to ignore him even when Jared is literally over him on the bed. _Typical_. Jensen has always been the king of the ice treatment when something rubs him wrong. Jared would give him shit for it and call him a child when they were together, but now he has something more important to do rather than give Jensen the attention he wants by throwing his own silent version of a temper tantrum.

 “Stephen, I’m fine!” Jared calls out while trying to not think how wrong it is to lie to his fiancé while he’s on his bed with his ex-boyfriend. But he’s not doing anything _bad_ on the bed so he guesses it’s not that terrible. “I got a headache and decided to come up for a moment, don’t worry.”

There’s silence for a couple seconds and then Stephen’s voice comes through the door again. “A waiter said you were acting weird.”

“It's just the headache, it will go away soon.” Jared takes a peek at Jensen, who is simply looking at one side of the room like nothing is happening there. At least Jared can appreciate that he’s quiet and not trying to fuck things up like before.

“I wonder why you got sick so suddenly, you were perfect a few hours ago.”

Not that Stephen would know anyway. A few hours ago he was still too busy talking to their guests to really pay attention if Jared was feeling good or not. But, hey, at least he came check on him and sounds concerned.

“The crowd.” Jensen whispers, making Jared turn his head towards him. “If it was a real headache it would be because of the crowd. Being around so many people you don’t know makes you anxious. And you get headaches when you are too anxious. That would be _why_ , if it was for real.” 

Jared says nothing, feeling a knot form in his throat. That’s true, of course. He’s not sure if he likes or hates the fact Jensen knows him so well and still remembers facts like this one.

“Should I bring you some medicine?” Stephen asks again from outside.

“Wouldn’t do a thing.” Jensen mumbles again and now it seems like he’s talking to himself. He’s not even looking at Jared, expression serious and voice low. “Your headaches only go away by taking a nap with all the lights off. Pills never work.”

Stress would give him headaches too, especially when they had really hard jobs to pull back then. Jared would get too stressed thinking about messing something up, getting caught or hurt—mostly at the beginning—and he can still remember Jensen pulling him by the wrists towards their bed, turning the lights off and lying down by his side, brushing his hair and massaging his temples until Jared would finally fall asleep. And Jensen would stay for as long as Jared napped, even if he didn’t sleep at all.

He also used to know Jared hated sleeping alone when he was worried about something.

Probably still does.

“Tristan?” Stephen repeats and his voice sounds sterner than before. Jared blinks and looks back to the door. He needs to stay focused on what is happening _now_.

“No, no! I’m fine. I’ll maybe sleep for a little bit.” Jared tries to sound casual about it. He’s supposed to be lying alone in his room with a mild headache and not about to have an internal crisis over Jensen remembering the little things that would always make him feel better. “You can go back, I’ll be there in no time.”

“If you’re sure…” Stephen trails off, although Jared knows his fiancé is probably eager to go back talk to all their influential rich guests feasting on shrimp. “Everyone is missing you, they keep asking where you went to.”

It’s fucking bullshit and Jared knows it. Nobody gave a damn about him when he was down there and a part of himself is absolutely sure Stephen only noticed because the waiter told him he was acting strange before coming upstairs.

“Apologize to them for me, please. I’ll go down soon.”

It doesn’t take much convincing for Stephen to finally leave, telling Jared he will come back to check on him later that night. Jared seriously doubts it but doesn’t argue. Right now he needs to stay alone with Jensen again and Stephen being so eager to go back to mingle with annoying rich people really comes in handy at the moment.

“So, are we staying like this all night? For good old times?” Jensen asks in a normal tone of voice once they can’t hear Stephen’s steps walking away from the room anymore. He’s finally looking back at Jared and the usual overconfidence is back to his voice and expression. “Although you usually liked me to be the one pinning you down when we were doing stuff like this back then.”

Jared rolls his eyes, huffing and moving away from the bed, shoving Jensen back down when he tries to sit up too just for good measure.

“We’re not doing any stuff here, asshole.”

“Always the one for the pet names. So sweet, _Tristan_.”

Jared bites on his tongue angrily, watching Jensen stand up and fix his clothes after their little wrestling match on the bed.

They have done enough of this. The bickering, the mocking, the fighting. They already passed all stages, which included Jared blushing and then hitting Jensen right in the balls because he was being a huge pain in the ass. They are _done_ for the night and probably a lifetime.

Now Jared needs Jensen to spill what the hell he’s doing here so they can part ways and pretend this never happened at all. Jared needs to do that or he doesn’t know what is going to happen to him.

“Just tell me already, Jensen.” Jared crosses his arms over his chest. “Now that I think about it you wouldn’t appear here just to ruin my engagement party because you simply wouldn’t care enough to even do that. So just fucking tell me—”

“I didn’t realize you had changed your name when I saw your picture in that newspaper.” Jensen interrupts, turning around casually and starting to walk around the room like it’s his own. “I guess I was too distracted looking at the photo of some dude giving you an engagement ring to go and really read the article, barely took a second to read the title that had the name of your sweetheart. _Stephen Amell is getting married._ ”

There’s something funny in the way Jensen is pronouncing Stephen’s name. Jared doesn’t know what it is, can’t put his finger on it but is right _there_.

“I have no idea what you’re even talking about, Jensen.”

“I didn’t read the article. Just got information on this dude Stephen to learn where he lived and so on, you know the drill. That’s how I found out about the engagement party.”

Jensen takes one of the crystal flowers in a jar that decorates one of his bedside tables and turns it around in his hand for a moment before letting it fall back in its place.

“That’s why I didn’t really pay attention to the rest of what I’m sure was a lovely article about you lovebirds. Never thought I should have stopped to read the entire thing to find out you call yourself _Tristan_ now.” He looks back at Jared, seeming honestly curious. “What’s your new last name? Or did you take _Amell_ as yours already?”

The question hurts. And Jared is not completely sure if it’s because he always thought if he changed his last name it would be to _Ackles_ or because he can hear more than only sarcasm in Jensen’s tone.

“It’s Tristan Bukowski.”

Jensen actually grins for a second, lips curling up. “That’s the worst made up name I have heard in my life. Although I do like the fact that you wanted to keep some of the Polish in it.”

“Careful, I know all your alias and fake names and half of them are stupid as fuck, so let’s not go there.”

“Whatever, brat. Not as bad as _Tristan Bukowski._ ” Jensen clicks his tongue, and he sounds just a little bit amused. “What was wrong with Jared Padalecki?”

 _“He wasn’t good enough for you”_ Jared thinks, just for the fraction of a second, but he throws away the thought before he can consider saying anything like that out loud.

“I wanted to go off the map. Don’t have any links back to what I did before. I wanted to have a normal life.” Jared shrugs, trying to not make it a big deal.

Jensen nods slowly, leaning against one of the walls. “Sure, sure. And appearing on all gossip magazines there is in this country is the way to stay low key. Sounds logical.”

Jared groans, starting to get over the whole article subject. Who cares if he appeared on some cheesy magazines after the public proposal? Sure, it was tacky, but Jared knew Jensen hadn’t come all the way here just to make fun of him for appearing on the magazines they used to mock back in the day.

“What do you care?” He snaps, walking towards Jensen. “What do you care if there are articles about it with my new name on them? Stephen’s dad is a senator and Stephen proposed to me while he was giving a speech about gay marriage—”

“Romantic.” Jensen adds, still nodding like he’s agreeing with everything. Jared wants to punch him right in the face.

“Fuck, Jensen! _So what?!_ So fucking what if I’m on some magazine showing that I’m getting married! It’s none of your business anymore and I still don’t understand why that’s even an issue!”

“Because you were fucking stupid for doing that!” Jensen snaps back, finally losing the calm attitude that was starting to drive Jared crazy. “Bringing all that attention to yourself! Letting so many newspapers and magazines write about you and most of your personal information! Now anyone can guess where you live! You were actually off the map, not even _I_ could find you if I tried to and then you had to go and do that shit!”

“Who fucking cares?!” Jared yells this time, walking towards Jensen until he’s up in his space. “Who gives a shit if everyone finds out I’m marrying Stephen and we’re living together here in D.C? Who gives a flying fuck about that?!”

 _“I do!”_ Jensen pushes Jared away, not hard, but enough to make him back away. “Do you even understand what it means to walk away from this life? If you go missing you have to _stay_ missing!”

He walks towards the bed, sitting on the edge and covering his face with both hands before tangling his fingers on his hair, pulling the strands little bit. Jensen presses the bridge of his nose with his fingers, taking deep breaths and trying to calm himself but he looks so worried all of a sudden that Jared’s anger disappears immediately.

Seeing Jensen like that makes him worry in return, heart starting to beat hard for an entirely different reason that it has done so far. He has never seen Jensen react like that. If there’s something Jensen is good at its keeping himself calm and controlled even during the worst situations. Jared has seen Jensen remain calm while people were shooting at them. Jensen never freaks out like that.

Jared walks slowly towards him, stopping right in front of where Jensen is currently sitting. Jared wants to reach over and touch Jensen but he’s not sure that’s the best for both of them right now.

“Jensen, what happened?” He asks, softly this time. Did something bad happen? Is everything okay? It can’t be good at all if it put Jensen in this state, if it made Jensen go looking for him. _“Are you okay?”_ Jared wants to ask more desperately than ever. What’s worrying him so much to act like this? Can Jared help? Can he do anything to make that expression disappear from Jensen’s face?

Jared swallows, waiting until Jensen collects himself enough to take a deep breath and look back up, brow furrowed.

“Pellegrino is coming for you, Jared.”


	4. Chapter 4

—Chapter 4—

 

 

Jared stays frozen where he’s standing, eyes fixed on Jensen but mind far away, bits and pieces of their past clicking together in his head after hearing that name.

 _Mark Pellegrino_. Jared remembers him. Remembers Jensen telling him about that guy.

He’s the only person Jared has heard Jensen say he regrets stealing from. It happened when Jensen was still young and new at their line of work, when he was starting to do big hits by himself, making a name and good fame of what he could do, better and bigger than older and more experienced thieves ever did. He stole from Pellegrino, something almost nobody dared to do, but Jensen had said he was young and reckless and wanted to show everybody he was skilled and not scared.

Pellegrino is different from other people who ended as a target of any kind of robbery. He is dangerous on a very different level. He isn’t another big guy with bodyguards and money to hire a hitman. He is part of the mafia. He worked with mobsters to learn since he was young and then became one himself.

When he caught someone betraying him or trying to steal from him, Mark didn’t only kill the guy. He would kill the guy’s wife, and his kids, and his mother, and everybody who the person ever cared for. Even the family doctor for good measure. Pellegrino had no mercy when it came to taking revenge.

Jensen had said that back then he had nobody. No family, no friends and nobody who gave a shit if he ever dropped dead. If Pellegrino even found it had been Jensen who stole from him then Jensen alone would pay for his actions. He wasn’t as threatened by the dude’s violent deadly tendencies.

So he gave it a shot.

Nobody would steal from Mark Pellegrino and live to tell the story, yet Jensen did.

For a long time Pellegrino couldn’t find who had done it. There were no clues and no way to find out who did it, who had stolen such a ridiculous amount of money from him. Then, after blowing too many heads and cutting too many tongues, someone got scared enough to say he had heard one time that the guy who did it was named _Ackles_.

Pellegrino still couldn’t find Jensen after that.

His last name didn’t seem as helpful when catching Jensen was like catching rain with his hands. Jensen was good at escaping, hiding and staying invisible even in the thieving community. Few people had actually seen Jensen’s face, only knew him by name and maybe had heard his voice on the phone.

Around that time Jensen had got injured—shot during a job he did alone—and Jensen purposely let the fake news that he had been killed spread like fire. He also added an extra lie to the story: that Jared had been there with him and ended up dead too. Jensen wasn’t sure if Pellegrino had enough informants to know that Jensen had someone he cared for now, that he and Jared were together. He did it as a precaution and it worked.

Word of Jensen and the one who many alleged was his hacker and partner getting killed got to Mark Pellegrino’s ears, and that finally made him stop looking for them.

“I-I don’t—” Jared mumbles, still lost in between memories. “I don’t understand. Why would—? He thinks we’re _dead_.”

Jensen shakes his head slowly, looking deadly serious now.

“Not anymore. He somehow found out I didn’t die back then and that you were safe all along,” Jensen sighs, rubbing his forehead with one hand. “Some fucking blabber mouth found out and told him. He has been looking me for a couple years but I know how to take care of myself when some psycho wants find me and kill me, so he hasn’t been able to get me.”

It’s like a sting in the middle of Jared’s chest, painful and terrifying, that starts to grow immediately. The idea of Pellegrino looking for Jensen makes Jared want to throw up. The guy is insane. They have heard what he does to the people he finds, the way he tortures and then kills him. _Two years_. Jared takes deep and steady breaths, trying to keep himself from having a panic attack, eyes watering for a moment.

 _Jensen is here._ Jared closes his eyes for a second and only thinks that. Jensen is here and he’s okay. Pellegrino hasn’t been able to do anything to him. Jensen is good, he’s alive and standing right in front of Jared.

They can work from there.

“But he still remembered we used to be together.” Jensen speaks up, causing Jared to open his eyes again. “I heard he tried to find you but he couldn’t because you vanished. Nobody could find you if they tried. I was so frustrated when I first realized you were unreachable but then…when I heard about Pellegrino I was fucking relieved, Jared. I couldn’t have you anymore but at least you were safe.”

The way Jensen is now looking at him makes Jared chest constrict and he feels his eyes watering once again. What does Jensen mean by _“when I first realized”?_ Did he try to find Jared before this? Did he _ever_?

And what about the _“I couldn’t have you anymore”_ part? It makes no sense. Jensen had Jared. All of him, completely. But when they broke up Jared supposed Jensen didn’t want to _have him_ anymore. Then why would Jensen say—?

“But then the fucking article and the picture appeared on so many magazines. Not many people saw your face back then because you were a hacker, staying faceless is what you guys do. But some people did see you, and now Pellegrino knows your face.” Jensen cracks his knuckles, talking through his teeth. “And thanks to all the press your engagement got, he knows who you are and where you are too. He can’t catch me, so he’s now going to try to get _you_ in revenge.” 

Jared doesn’t move after Jensen is done talking, letting the words sink in.

A man who is insane about revenge is looking for _him_. Someone who’s capable to cut people in little pieces while they are still alive and feed them to his dogs wants to find him, because he has been also looking for Jensen. He wants to end them both.

He takes a shaky breath, staring blankly at Jensen, who is now giving him a worried look.

“Jared?”

“I-I need to sit down for a little bit.”

He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do or how he should react. Someone wants to kill him. Not only that, Pellegrino probably wants to torture him until Jared is begging him to end his life. Jared feels the lunch he had earlier that day travel back up, making him cover his mouth as the feeling that he’s about to throw up intensifies.

Jensen is by his side in the blink of an eye, an arm around his waist, helping him stay up.

“Do you want me to go get you some water?” Jensen asks gently, guiding Jared back to bed so he can sit.

“H-How are you even going to get to the kitchen? You got in here by sneaking in.” Is what comes out of Jared’s mouth as an answer, to which Jensen replies with a small smile of his own.

“I can jump out of the window and sneak in the kitchen too,” He shrugs, like it’s nothing, keeping an arm around Jared even if he’s already sitting down. “I bet trying to bring a glass of water back up that way would be pretty interesting.”

It actually makes Jared let out a laugh, shaking his head.

Jensen is touching his face before he sees it coming, hand brushing the bangs out of his forehead gently. The touch lasts only a couple seconds, yet it feels like Jensen has been stroking Jared’s hair non-stop for hours. Jared sighs, resting his head against Jensen’s shoulder and thinking what the fuck are they going to do now.

He doesn’t blame Jensen, he warned Jared since the start that getting together could be a clusterfuck because of Jensen’s past and all the reckless things he did when he was younger.

Jared never cared. He didn’t care about any danger they had to go through if it meant being together.

But that was back then when there was still a _they_ as a couple. When they were a unit. Now Jared is engaged to someone else.

“Doesn’t he know— well,” Jared bites his lower lip, not knowing if the right thing to say. He doesn’t want Jensen to take this the wrong way. “Doesn’t Pellegrino know that we—?”

“—aren’t together anymore?” Jensen supplies, nodding along. “Yeah, he knows. For what I have gathered around, he doesn’t care. He thinks that if we were together that long it must mean that I care about you.” He finally moves his arm from around Jared, leaving him missing the warmth coming from it almost instantly. Jensen smiles again, sadly this time. “And he’s not wrong.”

Jared turns his head towards Jensen, heart starting to jump inside of his chest.

Now that he’s this close and they aren’t yelling at each other anymore, Jared has the time to actually _look_ at Jensen. He seems much mature than the last time they saw each other, of course. Jared can see more crinkles around Jensen’s eyes, jaw and expression lines more defined than before.

Some things haven’t changed though. Same freckles spread around his face, the shape of his nose and curve of his lips. Jared remembers them all by memory.  He would recognize Jensen’s face by simply touching it with both hands while his eyes are close.

Jared doesn’t get to ask Jensen what exactly means by _“he’s not wrong”_ though. Jensen stands up before Jared can say anything, going back to action. Jensen is done staying still and doing nothing. He has never been the kind of man who lets things happen around him without taking some part in them.

“That’s why I’m here,” he announces, expression serious. “You have to come with me, Jared. Pellegrino won’t find you if we are together.”

Jared blinks, not realizing his mouth is hanging open until it starts to feel a little dry.

“What?” He shakes his head, trying to make some sense of Jensen’s words. “What do you mean _leave with me_? And _if we are together?”_

Jensen sighs and then rolls his eyes, clicking his tongue.

“Not in the way you’re thinking, I’m not here to steal you away from your rich prince charming. This is just until I find the way to kill Pellegrino myself, then you can come back to your rich housewife life, couldn't care less.”

And there they go again. Just when Jared thought they were about to do some fucking progress.

“Who said anything about that? I didn’t mean it like that either!” Jared stands up too, ready for a second round. “I wasn’t thinking anything! I meant that you’re not making any sense, jerkface. Leave where? I can’t leave! And did— did you just say _kill Pellegrino yourself_? Have you lost your goddamn mind?”

“Whatever,” Jensen rolls his eyes once more, dismissing Jared’s accusations. “I’m making perfect sense, you little idiot. Don’t you know the definition of “leave”? I know you’ll miss your ten butlers a lot but maybe you didn’t hear me say a crazy mobster is coming for you. You _have_ to come with me.”

“No, I don’t! We can’t just leave like that. Maybe we used to disappear before but that’s not my life anymore.” Jared insist in a stubborn voice, “I could call the police, let them know—”

“Oh please, don’t make me laugh, Jared. The police are not going to do shit about that dude going after you. They won’t want to get involved in his business. Scotland Yard is scared shitless of that maniac.” Jensen walks to the bed to take his jacket again, putting it on and shoving the tie inside one of the pockets. “And besides, what are you going to say? How are you going to explain to them that Pellegrino is looking for you? You would have to admit to the police _and_ to your stupid boyfriend that you are not who you say you are.”

“Stop picking on Stephen.” Jared hisses, teeth gritted, but he can’t deny that a lot of what Jensen is saying is nothing but the truth.

“Did you tell him?” Jensen raises both eyebrows, voice mocking. “Does _he_ knows what we used to get up to? And I’m not talking about the fun, kinky parts.” The bastard has the nerve to wink at Jared, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. “I’m talking about the stealing, the illegal jobs, fake identities, dealing with black markets. Does your perfect, leashed-by-the-law boyfriend knows what you used to do, _Tristan?_ ” Jensen smirks then, shaking his head slowly. “I bet not, sweetheart.”

 “Don’t.” Jared groans, pointing at Jensen warningly. He better not fucking start with the pet names. Both because Jared used to love them back then but also because Jensen’s doing it on purpose to rile Jared up. _Of course he is._ “Okay, fine, Stephen doesn’t know. But he would understand.”

He’s not sure of that. Jared has no idea. But _fuck it_. Jensen doesn’t need to know it.

“And what are you going to do with Amell’s understanding? Fucking nothing, that’s what. It won’t protect you from Pellegrino. I know better than anyone how to hide you from that freak and you know it.”

Jensen is going from cocky, to overconfident, to annoyed and then back to cocky back and forth. Is like Jared is making him switch moods by simply naming Stephen out loud.

“Besides, the less you tell anyone the better. Or Pellegrino could target Amell to get information out of him if you try to say anything. Just come with me and we’ll figure it out.”

Everything Jensen is saying makes perfect sense and is true. Jared still remembers than in their line of business sometimes hiding on their own is a better option than calling the police. They know how their own kind works, so they know how to protect themselves. Pellegrino is on another level, of course—the mobster, crazy-killer level—but they could still understand him better than the police.

Jensen more than anyone, probably the only person who has been able to stay out of Pellegrino’s radar for years.

Involving Stephen and his family would also be a bad idea, not only because it means admitting that Jared has a secret past life he never mentioned before _—what would the senator say about his son marrying an ex-hacker who used to help a famous thief steal all kind of valuable things around the globe?—_ but also because knowing any information could end harming them. If Pellegrino even suspected for a second that Stephen or his parents knew Jared’s location or anything that involved him, they could end up dead too.

“Jared!” Jensen calls him, snapping him out of his thoughts. He doesn't know how long he has been standing there, thinking about this options. Jensen has a phone on his hand now and is using it to talk to someone. “We don’t have all night, we have to go _now._ ”

Jared shakes his head, confusion and nerves spiking up. “ _What?_ Now?! I can’t! We can’t just leave in the middle of the fucking party without saying a word!”

“Pellegrino is _here_.” Jensen hisses and Jared’s heart seem to stop. “His private plane landed at D.C. Security cameras caught his face too.”

He goes back to speaking on the phone instead of Jared, paying attention to the person at the other side of the line “Did you run the face recognition software? Are you _sure?_ ” There is a pause followed by Jensen closing his eyes, letting out a sigh of defeat. “Fuck, alright. We’re leaving now.”

He hangs up and shoves the phone in his pocket, turning to Jared, who is in two seconds from a breakdown. Jensen grabs him by the shoulders, shaking him lightly.

“Jared, we don’t have time for this. _Listen to me_. Pellegrino doesn’t kill people for no reason, he won’t waste a murder scene in another country if it’s not one of us or someone who has information. And it would make it harder for him to keep tracking us if he goes into a killing spree right now. He won’t do anything to anybody in here if he doesn’t find you, but we have to go _now._ ”

Jared says nothing, looking around, like he’s going to find the answer of what he should do hanging somewhere in his temporal room. Just leave? Without explaining how or why? It’s ridiculous.

But then again, he’s getting chased by a killer who might be in the city right now after flying all the way from Europe just to kill him.

“A-Are you sure it’s him? Who were you talking to?”

“Who do you think has access to security cameras all over the world and a face recognition software with Pellegrino’s face in his database?” Jensen asks back, the _“duh”_ obvious from start to end. He stops rushing Jared to make a decision just for a moment, standing straight and keeping one hand on his shoulder. “Chad really misses you.”

The name makes Jared’s head stop spinning and pay more attention.

His lower lip trembles and Jared looks down, hiding his eyes from Jensen. “Yeah, me too. I-I miss Chad a lot. It’s been hard staying away from everybody.”

When he looks back up, Jensen’s expression is completely different. He’s squinting at Jared, causing him to gulp loudly. That’s probably the last indication Jensen needs, backing Jared up against the wall behind them in a blink.

With both of Jensen’s hands at each side of his head, Jared has nowhere to go and no way to escape.

He forgot that Jensen has always been good at detecting his lies. He was the one who taught Jared how to do it properly after all.

“You little shit.” Jensen whispers, mouth open. “That’s not a real reaction. Naming Chad after not seeing him for so long would have made you cry instantly. You assholes. You and that blonde fucker!”

Jared stutters, placing his hands up in the little space he has between his body and Jensen’s chest.

“He’s my best friend!”

“I was your fucking boyfriend!” Jensen argues in a heartbeat. “I asked that fucker if he could help me find you but he said it was impossible to track you down! Murray argued you were a hacker too and knew how to go off the map properly and hide even from him. That lying fuck!”

“I asked him to not tell you anything!” Jared insists, remembering the moment he called Chad years ago, crying his eyes out only days after he and Jensen broke up. Jared can still hear Chad saying Jensen was going to be angry as hell when he found out Chad knew where Jared was all along but never told him. _“But fuck Jensen, that’s what he gets for doing this to shit you. I’m on your side, J-man.”_

Jared swore to Chad there was no way Jensen could find out because they would never see each other again. _And look at them now_.

“Did Chris know too?!” Jensen huffs, looking more and more offended by the minute. He’s probably considering ditching all his friends after learning his entire gang of thieves and hackers have been taking Jared’s side after the break up.

But that’s not actually it. Jared has only kept in contact with Chad after all these years. He hasn’t talked to Chris, Danneel or Erik since he and Jensen ended it.

“N-No, of course not! It’s only been Chad. I begged him to not tell anyone.” Jared bites his lower lip, suddenly feeling really guilty for putting Chad in that position. “I specially asked him to not tell Chris, because I knew he would have told you. Chad wasn’t happy about it but he said it wasn’t his secret to share anyway.”  

Jensen seems to consider Jared’s words for a moment, biting his lower lip and finally letting go, walking away from him and groaning.

“Agh, alright! I’ll get back at you two geeks later. Just— just get ready to leave! _Goddamnit_ , Murray is going to eat shit for _weeks_.”

Jensen continues to curse Chad under his breath like there’s no tomorrow for the next minutes, walking to the other side of the room. He keeps mumbling _“Going to fucking kill that goddamn stoner”_ along with _“might also have to murder Kane too if he tries to get in between to save him”_ , closing his fists and crackling his knuckles.

Jared can only hope that Pellegrino is enough to make Jensen forget about the little detail that Jared has kept in contact with Chad all these years, but it doesn’t seem like a probable option.

“How are we even going to leave?” Jared asks, going after Jensen. He is almost on board with this by now, doesn’t seem like he has many options anyway. It’s stay or get killed. What a wonderful engagement party! “I’m supposed to not say anything at all? Stephen is going to think I’m dumping him or something…”

Jensen pushes open the big window at the end of the room, presenting it to Jared with a bow of his head. “Your majesty, your private exit door is here. I suppose you at least remember how to escape a place like this, right?”

Jared imitates Jensen’s voice, repeating _“I suppose you at least remember how to escape”_ in a mocking tone, to which Jensen gives him the finger in return.

He would rather not tell Jensen that he has already used that particular ability and escaped from that room twice when Stephen’s mom wanted to take him to buy more clothes.

“And I know you’re _oh-so-worried_ about Amell and what he will think, but shouldn’t he forgive you when you get back and somehow explain that you did it all this for his own good? Come on, if the guy loves you so fucking much he will understand, right?”

There’s a challenge in Jensen’s questions, like he wants to know if Jared thinks Stephen would forgive him for suddenly disappearing during their engagement party. Jensen wants to know if Jared thinks Stephen “loves him enough”.

To be quite honest, Jared has no idea. He at least hopes so.

“Yes, he would!” Jared lies through his teeth before turning around, wondering if he should take something with him.

He’s just going to leave without taking anything at all, leaving all he has behind?

“Oh, come on! You can’t be thinking of fucking packing when a psycho is coming after you!” It’s shouldn’t irk Jared so much that Jensen guessed what he was about to do almost instantly. “This is not a vacation to Bora Bora with your lovely boy-toy. We’re running away from a mobster!”

“I know that!” Jared snaps back, pushing Jensen even if he has half of his body out of the room already. Jensen has to balance himself on the window to not fall, and he immediately smacks Jared’s arms, hissing _“Don’t do that!”_ to which Jared smacks Jensen’s chest in return. “Keep running your stupid mouth and I will make you fall, Ackles. So don’t fucking start with me!”

He hears Jensen imitate his voice in a high pitched tone, like he truly thinks Jared speaks in the most annoying tone to ever exist while he repeats _“Don’t fucking start with me! I’m Jared and marrying a rich asshole and forgot how to climb out of a second floor window because I have ten servants who will do it for me.”_

It’s like they are third graders in the middle of a fight instead of ex boyfriends sneaking out of a house.

Jared rolls his eyes as he tries to ignore Jensen—or he will end kicking him in the face on his way down—and lets him advance some more before Jared starts to climb out of window too.

He uses the couple seconds he has alone to take a last look at the room that had been his for some weeks. Everything he has is in there, everything he owns along the life he has built for himself so far.  

The hardest part is not casting his eyes away and climbing down after Jensen, but rather knowing that this is not the first time he has left everything behind.

It’s also not as painful.

This is not even close to how it felt to walk away from what was Jared’s entire life the first time.

 

 

—

 

 

Jared wakes up startled, panting and sweating so much his shirt is almost glued to his chest. For a moment he thinks he dreamt the whole thing. The engagement party. Pellegrino coming after him. _Jensen_.

The name popping in his head makes Jared sit on the bed immediately, looking around. For a second he thinks he’s going to wake up in the guest room back at Stephen’s huge house. But instead he finds himself sitting on a king sized bed at a hotel room, sunlight hitting him in the face and coming into the room from one of the big windows at the right wall.   

 _Right_. It did really happen, all of it. From Jensen going to look for him to Jared sneaking out from his own engagement party.

Getting out of the mansion wasn’t that hard in all honestly, Jensen even knew how to avoid all security around the perimeter and where they could jump the fence without getting spotted. If this had been a job, Jared would have classified it as a very easy one. Maybe he should tell Stephen to get better security in general.

After they were out of the Amell’s property, it was a piece of cake. Jensen had an old rented car parked some blocks away. He made Jared change from his suit to a hoodie and pair of old jeans once they got inside the car, telling Jared hide his face as much as possible once they started driving so not even street cameras would be able to catch him. Chad had given Jensen instructions on the route he should take to avoid anything that could help Pellegrino discover where Jared went.

They passed very street cameras, hit no traffic and didn’t see a single police officer during the entire ride, driving around until they found a motel they could stay at. .

Once they got a room to share, Jared was too tired to make much sense. Last night had been an emotional rollercoaster after all. Jensen went to take a shower and Jared decided to lay down on his bed, head pounding and his stomach growling for food. But he knew he would end up throwing up if he tried to eat something, images of Pellegrino flashing before his eyes every now and then. He fell asleep right there, still dressed and over the bed covers.

Jared moves the blankets away, noticing he doesn’t have his shoes on anymore and he’s not wearing the hoodie. Which means Jensen moved him on the bed so Jared was at least a bit comfortable and also put the blankets over him at some point during the night.

He tries to ignore the flush on his cheeks when he thinks about that, starting to look around again. The bed by his side is neatly done, not giving Jared enough clues to know if Jensen already woke up and organized everything or if he didn’t go to sleep at all. Jared spots Jensen’s jacket over one of the few chairs in the room and then he finally sees Jensen, leaning on one of the walls outside, smoking on the balcony.

He seems too distracted to notice Jared is up by now, looking away while he takes a drag of the cigarette, holding his breath for a short time before blowing the smoke out through his nose. The bags under Jensen’s eyes tell Jared that the bed is perfectly organized because he didn’t sleep at all.

Looking for a clock around the room, Jared tries to find out what time is it. The digital one on the bedside table between the two king beds is broken. Jared had his phone with him when they left, but he can’t find it inside the back pocket of his jeans anymore.

Jensen probably took it out too when he tucked Jared in bed.

 _“I’m not five, for god’s sake”_ Jared thinks, embarrassed, as he slips out of the bed. The tiles are cold and slippery, so Jared has to walk slowly towards the balcony to not fall or make too much noise. _“Jensen shouldn’t be getting me in bed anymore like I’m a kid who can’t take care of himself.”_

Jensen is so distracted with his own thoughts that he doesn’t seem to hear Jared when he slides the glass door open and steps on the small balcony.

“Hey.” Jared whispers, unsure of why his first instinct as soon as he woke up was coming to look for Jensen. Now that he stops and thinks about it, his bladder feels like it’s going to explode. And he should probably get a shower. Or something to eat.

But no, he went straight to Jensen before he could give it a second thought. _Wonderful_.

Turning his head slowly, Jensen finally looks at him, cigarette between his lips.

He stares at Jared for a little too long before giving him a small nod as greeting, going back to look up to the baby-blue sky. Looking up at the sky too, Jared realizes it seems like is early in the morning. Which makes no sense because he has that dizzy feeling you get after sleeping for too long, neck aching from lying down in the same position all night. Jared was expecting it to be almost four in the afternoon.

“I thought you quit.”

Jensen smirks around the cigarette, just for a second, and then holds it with two fingers.

He shrugs staring at the cigarette before blowing out the smoke, turning his head to the opposite side to where Jared is standing so none of it hits him in the face.

“Old habits die hard, I guess.” Jensen turns the half smoked cigarette between his fingers, flicking the ashes from the tip before turning to face Jared again. “I can put it out if the smoke is bothering you though.”

Jared hates the smell. It almost gives him an allergic reaction. When he first met Jensen, he used to smoke often, but when Jensen realized it actually bothered Jared he started to do it less often. Jensen kept insisting he just wanted to quit for his health but when they eventually got together, he admitted he mostly did it so Jared wouldn’t start coughing or sneezing because of the smell. Jensen also didn’t want Jared to deal with the taste whenever they kissed.

Although Jared still dislikes the smell after all these years, he has been getting used to it. He had a roommate back at college who would smoke almost all day long and Stephen’s dad likes to smoke cigars.

Yet he doesn’t get the chance to tell Jensen to not bother. Jensen throws the cigarette to the floor and steps on it before Jared can say anything at all.

“You must be hungry. I got you some breakfast, is on the table.” Jensen points to the small round coffee table inside of their room. Turning his head, Jared finds two bags of McDonald’s waiting for him, causing his stomach to roar ridiculously loud at such a sight.

Jared makes a delighted noise before he can help himself, almost running back inside of the room to take both bags with him and go sit on his bed. Jensen walks behind him, closing the balcony door and grabbing one of the chairs to sit in front of Jared.

He watches Jared open one of the bags excitedly, like he’s a kid opening presents on Christmas morning, and actually laughs when Jared shrieks in delight when he finds a box with pancakes. Jared is surprised to discover that the food is still warm, which means Jensen got them not long ago. He pours the syrup over the pancakes before digging in, eating like a person who hasn’t had a bite in weeks.

Jared stuffs his mouth with food, cheeks filled as he chews loudly.

“God, you’re still a kid, aren’t you?” Jensen chuckles, taking one of the napkins from the bags to clean some syrup from Jared’s chin after his third bite. “I was expecting you to eat more properly now, your highness.”

Jared gives Jensen the finger before starting to eat one of the hash browns, sipping loudly on his orange juice before speaking up. “Fuck off, I have seen you eat too, remember? You’re not better than me.”

“Agree to disagree.” Jensen dismisses him, leaning close again to clean the corner of Jared’s mouth. Jared pulls away this time, taking the napkin from Jensen’s hand so he can clean himself. Jensen shrugs, like he doesn’t mind Jared doing it on his own, and leans back on his chair.

“Did you bring me two breakfasts? Or is this yours?” Jared asks once he’s done, reaching for the second bag. He would be a little ashamed to still be hungry and keep looking for food if this was somebody else. But his is Jensen, he has seen how much Jared can eat.

“That’s your lunch from yesterday, Jared,” Jensen explains with a little chuckle, taking out his phone to check something.

Jared blinks, confused. The second McDonald’s paper bag has two burgers and medium fries. These ones are cold though—not that Jared cares, cold burgers are his guilty pleasure—which proves Jensen’s explanation to be truth. Yet it makes no sense.

“What do you mean _yesterday_?”

Jensen looks up from his phone, amused. “You slept for an entire day. Is your rich life really that hard that you are so tired?”

Jared simply blinks, not reacting to Jensen’s stupid comment about his “rich life”, only processing the fact that he went and slept non-stop _for an entire_ _day_. He’s not that much of a heavy sleeper in the first place.

All the commotion from the other night must have worn him out.

So, it’s been an entire day of going missing.

That makes Jared stop unwrapping the first burger. Stephen probably noticed by now, of course. He glances around the room, trying to spot his cellphone somewhere.

“First drawer of the bedside table.” Jensen mumbles, still looking at his own phone. “You want to check how many messages you got so far? That thing has been blowing up since yesterday. Ha to put it on airplane mode so the battery wouldn’t die so fast.”

Of course Jensen would guess what Jared was looking for almost instantly, but Jared has no time to dwell on that. He can only imagine how many missed calls and texts he has from Stephen. Jared hopes his fiancé not too angry and he’ll manage to understand when Jared can eventually go back and explain what’s going on.

“Surprised you even know how to put a phone on airplane mode.” Jared jokes, stretching over the bed to get to the bedside table. “I don’t believe you can even put it on vibrate.”

Jensen mumbles a distracted “ _not surprised you do, with such a vanilla-looking boyfriend you probably need that vibrating mode a lot”_ that shuts Jared up right away, making his ears burn.

“Asshole.” Jared whispers and Jensen chuckles, not moving his eyes away from his phone anymore, starting to type something.

Sitting on the bed in silence, Jared scrolls down his locked screen. There are tons of missed calls and texts. Some of them are from Stephen himself, yet a big chunk are from Stephen’s personal assistant. _Typical_. Even for this.

Jared sighs, shaking his head. Opening them would only make his guilt grow stronger, so he locks the phone again and puts it away, going back to eat.

Jensen takes a peek at him, looking up from his phone and stopping typing, curiosity all over his face. “Not even going to read them?”

“You know guilt eats me up. I’ll do it when I know I won’t do something stupid like reply back.”

“Good thinking. What about the tracker on the phone though? Won’t they be able to locate you using that thing?”

Jared is both surprised and deeply offended.

He can’t believe that Jensen knows that you can use cellphones to track people down, seems like Chad has at least kept him up with technology since they split up.

“Dude, I used to be a hacker, I’m not stupid.” Jared says in an offended tone, huffing and lifting his chin up. Jensen _born-in-a-cave, can’t-even-Google-properly_ Ackles asking _him_ if he was careful enough to not get tracked down with the location of his iPhone. Jared would have never believed this five years ago. “I killed the tracking option permanently as soon as I got this phone. Phantom hacker limb, I guess. The idea of anyone being able to track me down gives me the creeps, even if I’m not active anymore.”

“Yeah, Chad is always bitching about that too.” Jensen says like it’s ridiculous. He also sounds like he doesn’t completely understands how it works, which gives Jared a sense of familiarity that pulls a smile out of him.

Back then he would have sat Jensen down to try to explain how it all worked and then eaten him up with kisses whenever Jared quizzed him and Jensen got the answers right.

But those are old times. Now all Jared and do is nod and wait for Jensen to change the subject. Which he does, some minutes after a long silence.

“I’m surprised he didn’t start calling that same night,” Jensen puts his own phone back in his pants. He’s wearing dark black jeans now and a simple white shirt. The short sleeves fit perfectly around Jensen’s arms and Jared finds himself staring. J _esus fuck, since when he became such a thirsty teenager again?_ “When I came back to the room after taking a shower you were asleep. I was expecting Amell to call that same night, but it wasn’t until yesterday afternoon that the calls started coming in. How come? I expected him to notice you were gone as soon as he went into his room.”

The question takes Jared’s by such surprise he doesn’t have time to think of a good lie.

The realization that Jensen is going to be just _delighted_ with the answer throws Jared into a

stuttering mess. He shifts on the bed, feeling awkward and stupid at the same time. And he shouldn’t feel stupid. _Is not stupid_. Stephen’s parents are old fashioned. Stephen was following the house’ rules and being a gentleman. _Of course._

Jared mumbles something through his teeth, looking down and playing with his fingers. Jensen leans closer, saying he didn’t catch that. Jared takes a breath and whispers again, hoping Jensen will give up.

“What? I can’t hear you. What did you say?”

Jared mumbles again, scratching his head and looking away. He’s starting to blush again, wishing Jensen had never caught on that small detail. He has made enough sarcastic comments about Jared and Stephen and this one is going to give him material for a lifetime.

“Jared! I can’t hear you!”

“We don’t sleep in the same room!” Jared snaps, huffing and turning his head away. “We don’t share a bed okay? I-It’s not even a big deal!”

Jensen’s utterly impolite and loud _“What?!”_ makes Jared’s embarrassment grow so big he feels like he’s going to die from it.

 _Here’s the thing._ He and Jensen were the complete opposite of what he is with Stephen. He and Stephen hold hands during the opera and never give each other more than a chaste kiss on the lips whenever they are in public. They don’t touch each other too much when going out and rarely hug in front of other people.

On the other hand, he and Jensen were all hands all over each other _all the time_. It was like they couldn’t get enough. Jared would jump on Jensen’s arms after a dangerous job was over and Jensen would pick him up, making Jared’s legs go around his waist before eating him up. Jensen would carry Jared on his back whenever he was tired of walking and would hold Jared’s hand even during the most unnecessary cases. They would fuck in bathroom stalls and Jensen would tip Jared over and make out with him in the middle of the goddamn street if he felt a sudden rush of kissing him.

They could spends entire days locked in a hotel room doing nothing more than having sex and rolling around in bed naked, cuddling or watching movies.

Jensen knows Jared is, without a doubt, the most touchy-feely guy to walk on earth. He loves sleeping spooning—with Jared being the little spoon, of course—and the intimacy that comes from simple things like taking a shower together or going to sleep feeling Jensen’s skin in contact with his own.

For the time they were together, he and Jensen were always around each other. They would live together, travel together, sleep together, fuck together, eat together, _all_ together. All day, every day.

And they couldn’t have been more handsy as they did so.

 “You don’t even sleep in the same fucking room?” Jensen asks, mouth hanging open before letting out a loud laugh. As Jared predicted, he’s delighted. Jared wants to strangle that expression off of Jensen’s face. “No fucking way!”

“It’s his parent’s house!” Jared shrieks, embarrassed. “And it’s none of your business!”

“Wait a second…” Jensen licks his lips, slow and deliberate and Jared curses himself when he follows the motion with his eyes. “Have you— did you even have sex with him _at all?_ ”

“You asshole! Yes, we have!” Jared almost yells, throwing Jensen one of his pillows. Jensen dodges with no problem, and even if he’s not laughing anymore and has a rather sour expression, he doesn’t seem completely convinced.

“ _Bullshit_.”

“I’m telling you we have!” Jared huffs, offended and so red he could get confused with the cheap paper wall behind him. “And I don’t even understand why you want to know about my sex life with Stephen so bad when we both know if there’s something you can’t handle is being jealous!”

Jensen chokes on nothing, starting to cough immediately as Jared breaths hard. _Oh, two can play this game._

“I’m not—” Jensen coughs harder, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “I’m not jealous! I couldn't care less about what you and Vanilla Dollar do once every month!”

Jared wants to _die_ when he realizes Jensen is not that far off with that schedule.

“Oh, please!” The snort that comes out of Jared is almost rude.

He crosses his arms over his chest and gives Jensen a know-it-all smile. Jensen can master many things, which makes him an amazing thief and con artist, but if there is something he has never been able to hide is his jealousy. The levels of possessiveness Jensen could reach back in the day would give Jared some of the best nights of sex of his life.

“Are you really telling me that you weren’t hoping that me and Stephen didn’t have sex at all? We’re not even together anymore and you’re hating the idea of me getting naked in front of Stephen and letting him—!”

“Fuck, alright! Enough!”

Jensen stands up, making the chair he was sitting on fall behind him. He’s red, but not from blushing like Jared. He actually looks like he just swallowed something really spicy.

“I don’t care for the fucking details, Padalecki.”

“You started it.” Jared hisses in return. “And, by the way? Since you want to know about my sex life so bad I’ll give you an extra tip: Stephen is not the only guy I slept with since we broke up.”

 _Shit_. Okay, he didn’t mean to go that far. That could be a little bit uncalled for. Yes, Jensen was being a prick two seconds ago but Jared didn’t need to go there. Jensen looks like he doesn’t even know how to answer, looking up and down at Jared while he blinks rapidly, breathing hard.

 _And Jared made it sound so bad._ It’s not like Jared he up with the entire world after they were over. He didn’t even think about that for a whole year after they broke up. The idea of even kissing someone who wasn’t Jensen used to make Jared feel sick. He probably had one or two one night stands before meeting Stephen and that was _it_.

Jensen is still looking like he just ate something disgusting, expression both confused and frustrated, like he doesn’t know how to answer or react properly. Back when they were together, such an announcement from Jared would have probably ended with Jensen fucking him into the next week _, to Jared’s utter delight_ , but that’s not them anymore.

“W-Well,” Jensen says through his teeth after an awkward minute of them staring at each other. “Right back at you. And you know I dig girls too, so double the chances.”

Now Jared knows how it feels.

Like a blow to the stomach that makes everything inside of him start burning alive. _Fuck_. He closes his fists over his legs, looking away. The idea of Jensen not hooking up with anyone else after they broke up is plain silly; Jared has no right to feel angry about it. _He’s engaged to someone else, for God’s sake_.

Who is he to want to make a scene in the middle of the hotel room because Jensen slept with someone else?

But his head knows no sense in that moment, burning in the same levels of jealousy he just ignited in Jensen. The idea of Jensen touching someone else, kissing them, it’s slowly killing him. _Jensen doing the things Jared would love to somebody else. Jensen teaching others the things he liked in bed, things Jared of course already knew._

 _Yeah_. It was a dick move, now Jared knows.

Doesn’t make him less bitter though.

He moves from the bed clumsily, taking the McDonald’s bags from the bed to leave them on the table. None of them are talking now, both dealing with their inner explosions of mixed jealousy and anger

“I’m gonna take a shower.” Jared groans, feeling like he wants to smash something.

Jensen seems like he swallowed his own tongue, jaw set and nostrils flaring.

“Fine.”

“Good.”

They stare at each other in silence and then they both walk past the other. Jared goes towards the bathroom and Jensen back to the balcony.

 

 

—

 

 

Staying in the bathroom for almost an hour might be an exaggeration, but Jared really feels like he needs to cool off. He’s not entirely sure what happened back then in the room but he can still feel the same angry sparks fly around inside his chest whenever he thinks of Jensen with somebody else. 

It’s not fair to expect that after he tried to move on, Jensen wouldn’t do the same. He guesses it was easier when he didn’t have to think about it in general.

Jared steps out of the shower after staying under the spray for way too long, leaning against the wall and thinking of all that had happened until now and the rest of things coming their way. It’s all a mess.

Jared’s life was perfectly planned and fixed up two days ago and now everything is a goddamn mess.

When he walks back in the room, dressed in the same clothes he had been sleeping in—considering he left with basically nothing, so he has nothing else to wear— drying his hair with a towel, he spots Jensen lying down on his own bed. He has both arms behind his head and is staring at the ceiling. There’s a pack of cigarettes lying empty by Jensen’s side, making Jared wonder if Jensen smoked the whole package while he was in the bathroom.

Not knowing if they are now going to ignore each other after the pseudo-fight, Jared walks in silence to his bed, still rubbing his hair with the clean towel he found in the bathroom. If he thinks about it, fighting when there is some crazy mobster trying to find them can’t be good for their plans.

“If you wanted to jerk of that bad you could have just told me. I would have left the room, no need to waste water.”

 _Right_. That’s why. It’s almost impossible to not fight with Jensen considering he can be a total dick when he wants to.

“You say that as if you wouldn’t have asked to stay. You used get off on watching me jerk off when we were together. ” Jared shoots back, starting to get tired of Jensen being the only one having the upper hand during their little bickering. “Or was it when I fingered myself open? Can’t remember. You just had that voyeur thing going on.”

They stare at each other without adding anything else, yet Jensen seems a bit more impressed with Jared’s reply. Impressed and surprised Jared went there. It almost makes Jared smile proudly.

“Anyway,” Jensen clicks his tongue after neither of them has anything else to add, sitting up. “I was thinking that since I was _so_ nice to come rescue you from the evil mobster, that has got to mean you owe me one.”

“Excuse me?” Jensen has got to be kidding him. “Rescue me? _Owe you one?_ You know, you’re just asking for me to kick you in the balls again.”

Jensen actually winces at the memory, shifting on the bed to close his legs.

“Okay, alright. Let’s put this in a different way,” He puts his hands up, trying to seem like he’s making a peace offer and not trying to start more shit between them. “I did something for you, now you can maybe do something for me?” Jensen puts on a smile. A fake-polite one. Jared squints at him immediately. _“Please?”_

Huffing, Jared ponders on it for a second.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He nods. Jensen did go all the way there to warn Jared and is now taking him along so he can be safe without Pellegrino finding or hurting him. Jensen even said he still cares for Jared, which is mind-blowing on its own.

Jared hasn’t let himself think too hard about that, though. _It wouldn’t end well._ At the same time, he would be lying to himself if he said he doesn’t care for Jensen in return, that would be pure bullshit. If Jensen needs something Jared can help with, he’s going to do it.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Easy. Come do a job with me.”

This has to be a fucking joke.

“A job?” Jared repeats, amazed by Jensen’s lack of shame. “You know we’re here running away from Pellegrino and not in some kind of thieving high school reunion, right? What’s the point of going to pull a job together when the main part of this plan is _hiding_?”

“I never meant hiding as _literal hiding_ in the same place for weeks, that’s nonsense.” Jensen stretches out his arms, letting out a yawn. To think of it, Jared didn’t ask Jensen before if he slept at all these past days and he seems pretty tired. “That’s how you get caught, staying on the move is better. I have been pulling jobs for years while that British asshole was trying to get me and nothing happened. Besides, don’t you think that you and me staying in the same room doing _nothing_ for days is going to end in a disaster? Look at us, all we have done is fight.”

It’s a sad realization. That’s not how it used to be between them. Sure, they liked to bicker and argue, but those were not real fights. It was all a joke. Bickering while flirting, lightly arguing while kissing. There were no hurt feelings, no real heat. They could stay locked in a tiny little room for days and it would be like nothing, they loved being around each other.

And now look at them.

“Guess you are right,” Jared mutters. “It could be better to go and do something that stay here biting at each other’s throats—”

“And not in the fun-sexy way.” Jensen clarifies, seeming more cheered up now that Jared is starting to agree with his idea.

“God, you’re just full of sex jokes, aren’t you? And you call _me_ a child.”

“Only because they make you blush, princess.” The wink Jensen gives him right after the affirmation doesn’t help Jared at all. He’s about to argue, but seeing the blatant flirting almost ties Jared’s tongue inside his mouth.

Jared needs a distraction or he will end up kicking Jensen in the balls for real. Or doing something much worse. Like falling into one of those fun-sexy propositions Jensen keeps talking about.

“So, are you in?”

Doesn’t seem like there’s a better choice. “Yeah, I guess. Let’s do it.”

“Great!” Jensen jumps out of the bed, walking all the way to pick up the jacket over the table. It’s the same one Jensen was wearing the night before, and after some looking around, Jensen pulls out something from the internal pocket. It’s something that looks like a folded letter, but it’s not until he throws whatever that thing is at Jared’s lap that he can get a close look.

It’s a plane ticket.

With the word “Italy” printed as destiny.

“What is this?” The flight is scheduled for that night. Jensen can’t be serious. “Italy? _Tonight?_ ”

“You said you would pull a job with me. I never said it was here in this country…” Jensen basically sing songs, clearly pleased with himself. Jared should have known there was something else behind this. It’s Jensen he’s dealing here with. Shame on Jared for not smelling there was something shady in his proposal.

“Jensen, this is ridiculous! Now we’re going to _another_ country?”

Not that it’s the first time they have done it, but come on. He has to give Jared some time to adjust to all the crazy changes before he has a meltdown.

“It’s not that much a big deal, come on! We used to do this all the time.” Jensen takes out his own ticket. It even looks like they are sitting side by side. Ten hours of them together in a plane _. Good luck other passengers._ “Besides, Italy is really nice the time of the year.”

“Thanks for the weather report, Ackles.”

“Look, I’m serious. I had this job scheduled almost months ago so I have to do it. I already got half the payment _and_ I spent all that money as soon as the client paid me.”

Jared rolls his eyes, not impressed by the excuse. “You have tons of money, you can give it back.”

“Not the point. I already said yes. Not with my real name, just an alias, but still.” He’s sitting on the bed by Jared’s side by this point. Jared hates to admit it, but Jensen actually looks happy and excited with the idea of going to steal something. That has always been the same, and probably always will be. Nothing makes Jensen happier than this. “Can’t say no after giving my thief-word. I made a compromise to steal something and I have to do it for my honor.”

Jensen’s honor can kiss the fattest part of Jared’s ass if he’s honest. _Please_ , as if Jared didn’t know this is mostly because Jensen is probably pissing himself to go pull whatever job this is. Like a kid with the promise to go to Disneyworld, Jensen almost gets sparkles in his eyes when the possibility to have _fun_ by stealing something presents itself.

And Jared has always been a sucker for that look.

“ _Fiiiiine_ ,” Jared groans, giving up. Jensen whispers a triumphant _“yes!”_ while punching the air once. “When did you even buy these tickets? Did you know I was going to say yes?”

How much confidence in himself does Jensen have?

Or even worse, how much he knows that when he says the right things he can still convince Jared to do _anything he wants?_

“This morning, after buying your breakfast.” Jensen shrugs casually. “And you might have left, but I still know you, Jared.” There’s a smile there, even if it’s a sad one. “I know deep down you are getting excited about hacking into something again. Or did you forget everything already?”

Jared leans close and flickers one of Jensen’s ears. Hard.

“Shut up. I’m surprised you can jump out of buildings now that you’re so _old_.”

“Eh, eh! Careful with that mouth, Padalecki.” Jensen points warningly at him. “Might get you in trouble.”

“Funny,” Jared lets himself fall back on his bed, putting the ticket away. “This mouth used to get me out of trouble with you for what it could do, don’t you remember?”

“ _Smartass_.” Jensen takes the ticket back from Jared so he can have them both together. There’s amusement in Jensen’s tone though, which makes Jared pleased with himself. He always liked making Jensen laugh or anything close enough to it. “I hope flying a normal plane with other pedestrians is not a trouble for your highness, though. You’re probably used to Amell’s private jet.”

“Oh my God!” Jared is done with this recurrent digs. “How long are you going to comment about Stephen’s money? You have more money than he does from all the things you have been stealing for years, so it doesn’t even make any sense.”

And so does Jared. Both of them had different savings accounts since the start, some of them in other countries and all of them with fake names. Yet they never used that money to buy expensive houses, cars or any kind of luxury. They liked to travel, rent apartments and go out to eat junk food. They never spend half of what they made. It was all about the thrill and not as much about getting paid.

It used to be great economy for them, getting ten more times of what they spent per month.

“It’s never been about the money for me, Jared.. You know that.”

“Doesn’t make it any less true that you must have more money than Stephen does, so cut it out already. I didn’t know he was such a big deal when I met him. So stop it.” Jared knows Jensen is mostly doing it to irk him, but all the comments are starting to make him sound like a gold digger or something. That’s _not_ why he got together with Stephen, no matter if that’s what the press and half the family thought. “By the way, I don’t have a passport. Or anything at all to go through security at the airport.”

There’s starting to be too much sunlight inside of the room, most of it hitting the bed where they are both sitting. Jensen goes up to close the curtains without making any comments about Stephen’s money or how they met. He doesn’t seem interested anymore and it makes Jared wonder if Jensen would rather not touch any subject that involves his romantic life with his fiancé.

“Well, you’re in luck.” Jensen takes out his phone from his pocket again, unlocking it and looking for something in it. “We’re doing a little visit to Chad for that. We both need fake documents.”

Jared almost beams immediately, staring up at Jensen with his jaw open. “Are you serious? When are we going to New York? God, I haven’t seen Chad in forever!”

That might not be the answer Jensen was expecting since he frowns immediately.

“New York? Chad’s here at D.C. Chris had to do something here and Chad tagged along, they have been here for almost a week.” He shakes his head, confused. “I thought you said you kept in contact with him.”

“Oh, well— _yeah_ but…” Jared trails off. “It’s not constant. We don’t talk all day every day, just...every now and then. When we both can.” 

Chad’s always busy with his own work and he’s constantly changing numbers, which sometimes makes it hard for Jared to keep up. Jared used to do the same when he was an active hacker too, but he has been getting rusty on that part. He has also been busy with college, his graduation, and then everything related to the engagement and the wedding.

It’s always been hard to keep up with Chad when they are in such different worlds, and sometimes Jared realized that hearing Chad tell him about what he was up to made him want to go back in the game. It was hard for him to let go of his past life every time he heard Chad talk about his own work and it took Chad no time to realize it too.

It was like a silent agreement after that, to stay in contact and keep talking but only every now and then. They would call each other for monthly updates or for Chad to help Jared if he needed something regarding his savings accounts. Weeks could go by without them talking at all, which could explain why Jared had no idea that Chad has been there for almost a week.

He’s even a little offended Chad didn’t tell him that much. He never comes to D.C.

At least this part of this mess Jared can enjoy. He hasn’t seen Chad face to face in such long time. Jared really misses him.

 

 

—

 

 

Seeing Chad open the door of his hotel room brings Jared more joy than he could have imagined.

He crushes his friend in a hug, smiling from ear to ear when he hears Chad laugh and hug him back, clapping Jared’s shoulders and ruffling his hair. Even if they have been in contact for the past years, he has met with Chad maybe two or three times.

Chad was the one who helped Jared settle down and get a new place along with a whole new life and identity. The fact that Jared could get away with a fake name and altered past was all thanks to Chad. Even if they were both hackers and Jared had quickly learned and gotten better with years of practice—to Chad’s utter pride—he had never done something like creating a new identity, even less for himself. Chad had set everything up for him, and he did it so flawlessly Jared never had any problems with his fake life.

Not even when he started dating Stephen.

As expected from someone related to politics, one of the first things Stephen’s mom did when she found out they were dating was checking Jared’s criminal records and all they could find about his past. If she knew all the shit Jared had been up to when he was younger, she would have ended with heart problems and forced Stephen to break up with Jared.

But thanks to Chad, Tristan Bukowski had an impeccable past. There were even some records of him doing charity work and volunteering at hospitals (thing that made Jared feel like crap when Chad told him that on the phone years ago. _“I never did any of that, Chad!” “You wanted a nice past and you got yourself one. Besides, you and Jensen have given part of what you steal to hospitals and schools, so same fucking shit”._ ) 

Jared owes Chad everything. From learning about hacking to getting a normal life when he wanted out. Chad even dropped by for Jared’s college graduation to not let him spend such an important day alone. Jared didn’t have any family to invite and Nan had already passed away by that point.

Chad had cheered louder than any group or family when Jared’s—fake—name was called to get his degree.

That might have been the last time Jared saw Chad in person.

“Long time no see, J-man.” Chad messes his hair again before patting his chest. Jared can smell the weed all over Chad, which makes him laugh and feel more at home that he has in years.

“It’s good to know you still do pot brownies when I drop by to visit.”

“A fucking tradition man, wouldn’t disrespect you by not getting high.”

Jared pulls Chad into a second hug, ignoring Jensen when he huffs by their side.

“Some of us didn’t get that kind of greeting.” Jensen mumbles, mostly to himself, crossing his arms and looking away.

Jared pulls away from Chad and turns around, ready to tell Jensen he’s full of it for thinking he would get a warm welcome after crashing his engagement party, but Chad snorts loudly before Jared can say a word.

“You two already fighting like an old married couple? Sure didn’t take you long. I have a bet going with Chris to see how long it takes you to dump Amell, Jared.”

Suddenly remembering something more important than dissing Jensen again, Jared squints at Chad, eyes full of accusation.

“By the way. You knew my engagement party was two nights ago.” Chad doesn’t seem surprised that Jared is revealing the secret that they have been in contact in front of Jensen. He probably figured Jared would spill the beans at some point. “If I knew you were at D.C., you know I would have invited you!”

He could have made up some excuse about knowing Chad from high school years or something to get him in the guest list. Chad knew how to lie, it would have worked out. It would have been nice to have someone Jared knew and cared for him at the party.

“Sorry, man. I know you would have invited me to your engagement party and, well…” Chad shrugs, lighting up a cigarette. “I fucking hate your boyfriend, man. But you know that already.”

By their side, Jensen smirks like this is the best news he has heard all week. He’s clearly pleased to know Chad has never been able to swallow the idea of Jared dating Stephen.

Chad’s dislike for Stephen is not new to Jared though. His best friend has known about the whole thing from the moment they started dating to the night Stephen proposed. All from the few but long phone calls they would have every other month. Chad had made very clear since the beginning that as much as he supported Jared’s happiness, he also—to quote the exact words— _“didn’t fuck with that rich dude who looks like someone put a stick up his ass and left it there to at least make him a little bit interesting”._

“Anyway,” Jared shakes his head, throwing a side glance at Jensen. He doesn’t need them both to gang up on Stephen right now. “Not important. Is Chris around? I have also not seen him in a while.”

“Nah, he’s out doing some work. Too busy getting his ass kicked, but that’s what those two like to do, huh?” Chad asks sarcastically, pointing at Jensen with his light cigarette. Jensen gives him the finger, trying to walk past him to go inside the room. “We both know we can pull an entire job just by hacking but we have to drag these motherfucking thieves along so they can pretend to be useful.”

Jared chuckles by the affirmation, amused. As much as that could be true sometimes, he can’t deny he liked going out to do the work with Jensen instead of alone.

“They just like to show off they can throw a punch and take a bullet. Fucking rich, right Ackles?”

Then, Chad slaps Jensen’s right shoulder. Twice. Jensen groans loudly, wincing and pushing him away, finally being able to go inside the room.

Chad throws his head back in a laugh, following him.

Jared doesn’t move a muscle though, frozen on his spot close to the door as he looks from Chad to Jensen, confused. _What was that just now?_ And what does Chad mean by that? He tries to remember if he saw Jensen wince or look hurt at all until now, but as always, Jensen has been the living embodiment of overconfidence since the moment he sneaked into Stephen’s house.

“Wait. What does that mean, Chad?” Jared asks at last, walking slowly towards them. They both stop bickering about what can only be Chad keeping in contact with Jared all these years and lying to Jensen about it. “What just happened?”

Chad is the one who smirks around his cigarette, raising both eyebrows at Jensen.

“See? I didn’t tell him _everything_.”

“And you’re not going to now.” Jensen snaps to then grab the digital clock over the bedside table to throw it Chad, who catches it with both hands before it can hit him in the face. Chad waggles his eyebrows at Jensen and he frowns. “ _Murray, I’ll kick your ass._ And I was already planning to rip you a new one for being a rat and taking _Jared’s_ side after the break up and never telling me where he was. Don’t make me beat you harder than I already planned to.”

Chad moves his hand in the air like it’s a puppet, opening and closing his fingers like his hand is talking, making it look like he’s mocking Jensen’s threats by implying all Jensen do is talk and talk _and talk._

“Eat my entire asshole, Ackles.”

“Even better, I’ll pull it out instead. You’ll have a prolapsed ass by the time I’m done with you, so shut your fucking mouth.”

“Wait, wait!” Jared interrupts before they can keep fighting. He’s not worried about that part, he has heard Chad and Jensen say they are going to kill each other for years. They are always empty threats. _What exactly are they hiding from him?_ “What do you mean you didn’t tell me everything?” He asks Chad, to then turn towards Jensen. “And why do you not want him to tell me?”

“ _Don’t!”_ Jensen groans, pointing at Chad. His behavior only makes Jared want to know what’s going on even more. Jensen never acts like this. “Chad, I swear—!”

“Jensen got shot one time when he was doing some fucking stupid work in other country.” Chad interrupts, not giving a fuck. Jensen hisses a curse, covering his face with one hand.

“He was in the middle of fucking nowhere when it happened, so he had to take the bullet out himself and stitch up the wound. Turns out he did a piss poor job and now he has permanent damage. No surprise there, he ain’t no doctor.” Chad clicks his tongue and Jensen looks like he wants to choke him to death. “So you can call that his Achilles’ heel. You can make him cry if you poke that part of his shoulder too hard.”

Instead of paying attention to Jared after explaining, Chad keeps eye contact with Jensen, who looks like he wants to have Chad dead and ten feet under ground.

But none of them say anything.

In fact,, the one who breaks the silence is Jared himself, speaking up  efore he can even give it a second thought.

“You told me he was okay!”

Jared’s voice almost echoes inside of the room and the other two finally turn to pay attention to him. For a moment Jared thinks he’s going to pass out from how hard and fast he’s breathing, chest rising and falling painfully. _It can’t be true._ Chad has to be lying. _Jensen got shot again?_ And this time— this time Jared wasn’t there.

It makes him want to throw up, the memories of seeing Jensen’s blood in his shaking hands coming back to his head. Jared can almost see a younger version of himself sobbing while he tried to keep pressure on the bullet wound. All while Jensen stroked his face and caught some of the tears with his fingers, telling Jared everything was going to be okay and to please stop crying.

That had been the first time Jensen got hurt. For the second, Jared hadn’t been there when Jensen got shot, but he could keep him company at the hospital and be by his side during his recovery.

But this time Jared didn’t even know it had happened.

Jensen could have died and Jared wouldn’t have known at all.

He blinks and then turns away, bringing one hand up to rub his eyes before he tears up right in front of Jensen. _What a shit way to find out the person he has loved the most got a fatal wound._

“Jared—” Chad sounds guilty, and when Jared turns around, his friend actually seems guilt. “He asked me not to tell anyone. But if you two are going to work together again I thought it was about damn time you knew.”

“But you promised he was fine whenever I asked you!”

Knowing Jensen was okay helped Jared from having an anxiety attack whenever he remembered the kind of dangerous stuff Jensen could be doing alone.

_“What?”_

Swallowing slowly, Jared guesses maybe it’s time he stops trying to hide his face away from Jensen. He takes a deep breath, thinking Chad might be right and it’s damn time they stop keeping so many secrets from each other.

“I... I would ask Chad sometimes—” Jared tries to explain, stuttering and feeling uncomfortable explaining. “...I would ask him to tell me if you were alright. He promised he would keep me updated.”

Jensen appears to be more surprised that Jared thought he would be. Did he really expect Jared to stop caring out of nowhere? Did Jensen really think Jared loved him so little that he wouldn’t care for his well being when Jared knew the kind of danger he exposed himself to? It’s a little heartbreaking to see that much surprise in Jensen’s eyes.

“Really?”

“Why is this such a surprise?” Jared asks, frowning. “Did you really think I’d stop caring about you?”

“Okay, alright. You two aren’t about to have a fucking moment in front of me.” Chad interrupts them, moving around the room to look for something inside the big closet in front of the only bed. “To make a summary for you two: Jared asked me to tell him if you got your ass kicked too hard, Ackles. He wanted to make sure you were generally okay. But he told me not to tell you anything.”

Chad makes finger guns at Jensen while winking at him before taking something out of the closet. It’s a black bag that he throws over one of the beds carelessly.

“At the same time, when Ackles got shot he asked me to not tell anyone besides Chris and Danneel. For a moment I thought he knew I was still in contact with you, Jay, because that _‘anyone’_ was pretty much a _‘don’t magically tell Jared even when he’s gone’_. So there’s that, too.”

Aren’t they the same when it comes to hiding things from each other? Jared catches Jensen glancing at him at that moment, probably thinking exactly the same thing. The both look away at the same time, equally annoyed to know the other was hiding something but also mortified than it’s been openly announced how worried they have been for each other.

What a nightmare.

“And there I was, caught in the middle of your web of worried ex-boyfriends still hung up on each other’s dicks.” Chad sighs dramatically, like it’s a full time job he has been dealing with for years. “To be quite honest? It’s fucking exhausting. I get more drama from your goddamn love life than my own. And that says a lot considering all I do is piss Chris off for fun and angry sex, so you two need to fix your shit.”

He points to both Jensen and Jared, who choose that exact moment to cough awkwardly while still looking away.  

“I’m not gonna be your information center for ever. If you care so much you want to know how the other is doing? Fucking pick up your phones and call. It’s not like we all don’t know you two still got feelings for each other, so give me a fucking break. And also pay attention, fuckheads, I’ve got your travelling souvenirs right here.”

It’s both awkward and relieving after that. Both Jensen and Jared don’t comment a thing on all the accusations Chad made, not even about the ones that touched the subject of being hung up on each other.

Jared doesn’t want to think if he still has feelings for Jensen, he shouldn’t when he is going to get married in some months, yet he is kind of curious to know if Jensen still feels anything at all.

The bright side, and what gives them both a break, is that after that little speech Chad goes into work-mode.

Inside the bag there’s a big amount of money for them to use during their improvised trip to Italy. All stolen, as expected. There’s also fake identifications, fake passports, credit cards and everything they might need to pull this job. Chas has also included a brand new laptop for Jared, making sure to explain all the programs and features it has installed.

“I heard Jensen dragged you out of the house like a madman.” Chad shakes his head, looking at Jensen like he’s the biggest idiot on earth. “Dude. You already knew you were taking him to Italy if he said yes. Wouldn’t have killed you to take some clothes and luggage, is going to look suspicious if he’s at the airport with nothing but a tuxedo.”

“There was no time, shut up.” Jensen ignores him, counting one of the wads of money. “We can go buy something before we take the plane in a few hours, relax.”

“Good thinking,” Chad points out, lying on the big king bed in the middle of the room. “Take your boyfriend shopping.”

Jared smacks one of Chad’s legs, sitting by his side and feeling himself flush just so. Chad simply laughs, hands behind his head.

As much as he missed his best friend, Chad not coming along with them to Italy might be a good idea. Jared doesn’t need him making comments like that all the time.

“Only if he promises to choose something pretty.” Jensen teases, winking at Jared, obviously enjoying his embarrassment. The fact that Jensen doesn’t disagree with the “boyfriend” part doesn’t help either.

Jared knows what Jensen means by ‘ _pretty’_. His face burns hot instantly. _Bastard_.

It’s hard when your ex, who happens to love to tease you every two seconds, knows everything about you.

Including the pretty lingerie Jared might have tried a couple times during kinky sex.

“I would,” Jared mutters, trying his best to not start stuttering. “But it might be a bad idea for you to get a boner in a plane from here to Europe. Last time it happened you almost died from blue balls because you couldn’t jerk off properly in that tiny bathroom.”

Deciding what’s more satisfying between Jensen’s offended face and Chad’s laughter is pretty difficult, so Jared just calls it a tie and feels smug as hell for the next hours.

 

 

—

 

 

From all the crazy things that have been happening lately, feeling nervous as soon as they get to the airport is the most ridiculous of them. _Jared wants to punch himself in the face_. Is he seventeen again and pulling his first job? This is ridiculous. He has been at so many airports before, going or coming back from his unconventional jobs with Jensen, that he lost count at one point.

Where is this coming from? Acting this way for a second time in front of Jensen isn’t the best for his pride.

Jared tries to hide it as much as possible, but at one point when they are about to go for the security check, Jensen laces their fingers together and leans close to whisper _“What the hell is wrong with you?”_

He doesn’t have an answer, so Jared doesn’t say a thing and doesn’t swat Jensen’s hand away either.

Jared can guess Jensen’s plan of faking to be Jared’s boyfriend like the first time beforehand. It was embarrassing that Jensen had to do it back then and now is humiliating. First, Jared doesn’t want to seem like the same excitable kid who almost lost his shit using his first fake ID. And second, he’s dealing with enough right now. Jensen pretending to be his boyfriend is not going to help.

The charade goes basically the same as before. Jensen tells the security agent his boyfriend is nervous of flying when she focuses too long on Jared’s uncomfortable expression. This time Jared knows the fake passport and identification will work out but the idea of Pellegrino popping out of nowhere is not helping his nerves.

And of course, there’s _Jensen_ again.

Jensen, who Jared was supposed to never see again. Jensen, who was able to sweep Jared off his feet since they first met when he was a teenager. Jensen, who crashed his engagement party and has been messing with Jared’s head and all his perfectly planned future in the time span of two days.

Jensen, who is holding his hand carefully and chatting up casually like they are a real couple going on a romantic vacation.

Jared hates how much he doesn’t hate this at all.

He should be one hundred percent terrified about Pellegrino finding them, leaving no room for any other emotion. It’s quite frustrating to discover that’s not the case.

It’s a nice surprise to find out Jensen got them first class tickets. For a second Jared expects Jensen to make another joke about Jared needing to ride in the expensive area because he only _rides rich things_ now—although he doubts it, Jensen would never make a joke that hints Jared having sex with Stephen—and is surprised to find out all Jensen does is shrug and say _“Your weekend has been all over the place already, you can at least fly ten hours comfortably.”_

Jared has enough time to thank Jensen and relax on his seat before he’s completely out. He slept an entire day and it still doesn’t seem like enough rest, like his body has been throwing enough adrenaline lately to leave him exhausted no matter how much Jared tries to sleep it off.

He doesn’t realize when they take off or how long he sleeps until he feels someone shaking his shoulder, causing Jared to wake up and sit straight as he gasps, surprised at the sudden touch.

He blinks, white spots blurring his vision as he looks around, confused. Waking up like this every day is going to become a pain in the ass.

Jared brings one hand up to rub his eyes, yawning.

His brain needs some seconds to catch up where he is. _Plane. Italy. Jensen. Pellegrino_. A good enough summary when he only has some seconds awake.

“Sir, would you like something to eat?”

The feminine voice brings his attention back. Especially because that’s not the voice Jared expected. When the turns his head, he finds the seat next to him empty and a flight attendant leaning towards him with what looks like a plate with a sandwich and fries.

At the sight of food his stomach growls immediately, causing the girl to giggle and hand him the food.

“I— thanks.” Jared looks down at himself, taking off the blanket he doesn’t remember asking for as he takes the plate with one hand. “For the food and for the… _uhm_ the blanket and the pillow.” He moves his head from left to right, thankful to not feel the muscles pull.

“Oh no, it wasn’t me.” She smiles politely, taking the blanket to help Jared fold it and then leave it on Jensen’s empty seat. “Your boyfriend asked for them and made sure you were comfortable while you were sleeping.” For a second, she leans closer and whispers. “It was so sweet. Me and the other flight attendant kept looking at him trying to move you carefully to put the pillow behind your head without waking you up. And he kept covering you when you moved the blanket off in your sleep. It was so cute.”

Jared tries to smile, embarrassed yet somehow happy to hear all the unrequested details.

He has seen that look in the girl’s face before. It’s the ‘ _Ah_ , _Jensen’_ look of adoration. The kind of look most ladies use to get whenever Jensen shows off his charm in front of them, on purpose or not.

Jared himself has been under that spell too, so he doesn’t blame her. Right now he can almost feel it bursting alive in the middle of his chest, trying to imagine Jensen putting a pillow behind his head carefully enough to not disturb him and checking Jared wasn't kicking his blanket away.

  
“ _Uh—_ yeah, I bet.” He answers, unsure of what else to say. “By the way, do you know where…?”

“Bathroom.” She smiles again before Jared can finish. Seems like the flight attendants have paying a little too much attention to them thanks to Jensen’s display of protective instincts. “I hope you enjoy your meal.”

Thanking her one last time, Jared stats eating in silence. For how bad his stomach is hurting he guesses he skipped a meal already. _How could he fall asleep again?_ He had enough of that back at the motel room.

Checking his phone—with the battery at eighty percent after they got a charger at the airport—wouldn’t do him any good. Jared doesn’t want to see how many lost calls and messages he has. At least he won’t get more phone coverage once they arrive to Italy.

He still has no idea how he’s going to explain any of this to Stephen. If he will even give Jared the chance to speak to him again.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” Jensen’s voice causes Jared to look up, pulled out of his thoughts. Jensen is standing in front of his seat with a little smirk, eyes on Jared. He’s wearing a different shirt than the one he had when they got in the plane, which means they have been flying for a while if Jensen changed already. “Feeling better?”

He offers Jared a bottle of water, making him realize the flight attendant probably forgot to offer Jared anything to drink. Jared takes it with a smile as Jensen sits next to him.

“I was hoping you would wake up soon, told the girl to bring you some food.” Jensen explains, stealing one fry from Jared’s plate. “You skipped last night’s diner and then breakfast too.”

Looking down at his food, Jared realizes how common this is. Jensen worrying about him and taking care of him has always been there. Jensen has always been protective and would always make sure Jared was comfortable and healthy.

From little things, like making sure he was eating at hours, to big gestures like cancelling jobs so he could stay with Jared whenever he got sick.

Jensen has always been there taking care of him.

“How long until we get there?” The question is only so Jared can move past those ideas, munching on his sandwich. As expected from something offered in first class, is better than anything Jared would ever be able to cook himself.

“Around four hours.”

So he has been sleeping for around six. Honestly, where does Jared gets the tiredness to keep going back to sleep?

And now that he thinks about it, turning to stare at Jensen and the dark bags under his eyes, Jared hasn’t seen Jensen sleep at all. When he woke up at the motel room Jensen was outside smoking and he already looked exhausted then.

Now he seems more tired than before and there aren’t any signs that he has been sleeping here either.

“Have you slept at all these past two days?”

Jensen shrugs, giving Jared a cocky smile. “Someone has to keep an eye out if you’re being chased by a killer.”

Of course he would do this. Typical Jensen.

“I can stay up,” Jared argues, “I already had sleep. Here.” He sets his plate on the tray table in front him and offers the pillow he was using. Jensen shakes his head, saying he’s fine and doesn’t need any sleep. “Come on, you need to sleep at least some hours.”

“I’m fine.” Jensen assures him. “You eat and then go back to sleep if you still feel tired.”

Jared knows Jensen is full of it, he can see how tired he is. Jensen’s eyes are blood shot, he would probably fall asleep right away if Jared could convince him.

“Come on, humor me? You need some rest.”

The flight attendant who brought Jared the food seems to be staring towards them again, so Jared leans close to whisper in Jensen’s ear.

“She thinks we’re a couple and that you’re a perfect boyfriend and wonderful gentleman.” Jared offers him the pillow again, “A gentleman wouldn’t reject a pillow like this, Jensen. Don’t hurt your boyfriend’s feelings.”

Jensen snorts, rolling his eyes and finally moving his head so Jared can tuck the small pillow behind it.

When Jared is done eating he gives the plate back to the flight attendant and uses the blanket the girl had previously folded to cover both him and Jensen, smiling when he sees Jensen fast asleep by his side.

At one point of the flight Jensen’s body leans to the right and he ends with his head over Jared’s shoulder. Instead of moving him away, Jared takes the pillow and puts it over his own shoulder so Jensen is more comfortable.

If Jensen almost nuzzles against his neck and breaths him in, nose close to the curls to the back of Jared’s head, Jared pretends he doesn’t notice anything.

Or perhaps he does, but Jared likes the closeness between them too much to make Jensen move away.

 

 

—

 

 

They make it to the Amerigo Vespucci Airport at three in the afternoon, local time.

The six hour difference is going to be hard to get used to. Not to mention the ten hours they spent flying making it even more confusing.

Jared doesn’t wake up Jensen until they land, shaking him and letting him know they made it to Italy so they can take their bags and leave soon.

Jensen explained that even if Pellegrino is from England, they are safer in Europe at this point. Pellegrino would expect Jared to stay in the United States. Besides, the few people who had seen Jared’s face when he was an active hacker live at United States. Jared and Jensen were always more careful doing jobs in other countries.

Even if Pellegrino has some of his people working here, they wouldn’t recognize Jared as easily.

But even with all that, Jared is nervous enough to want to rush out of the airport as soon as possible.

It’s not the first time they have been in Italy together. If Jared remembers correctly, the last time they were here they stole something from the Gallery of the Academy of Florence. He had heard in the news the security back at the museum had been reinforced ever since.

Jensen gets a cab for them at the airport, giving the driver the direction of the place Chad rented for them. Who knew Airbnb could be so useful when you wanted to steal something valuable on an international level? Chad made sure to pick someone who wouldn’t be there to meet them when they arrived or left, _the less they interact with others, the better_. The keys of the apartment would at the reception of the building and Jensen already had the number of the security alarm for the apartment.

Not like Jared wouldn’t be able to deactivate it easily on his own, but they were supposed to be simple tourists.

The poor person who rented their apartment had no idea who was about to stay for some days. But hey, they were staying getting paid, right? It should be good.

The place is located in Mercato Square, close enough for them to probably have a view of the Duomo. Jared can’t help but feel just a tad sad when he realizes they will probably leave as soon as the job is done. Florence is beautiful, a part of him wishes he and Jensen could stay a little longer.

 _“And do what?”_ He thinks, suddenly angry at himself when he realizes what he means with that. They are not a couple. They can’t stay like before and have days of actual tourism.

Jared staying at a beautiful city with his _ex-boyfriend-partner-love of his life_ sounds like the worst idea in the world. 

They make it to the apartment in less time than expected and Jensen pays the guy with some of the ridiculous amount of money they illegally smuggled in the country. They didn’t declare how much they got, of course, because they had no way to explain why they had so much money and what they needed it for.

Jensen thanks the guy in Italian after paying for the ride, acting like he knows what he’s about, full of himself as always in his American accent and funny pronunciation. Jared watches the whole thing from the building’s door, arching an eyebrow and trying not to snort.

Jensen knows _some_ words in Italian. And that means he knows four or five of them and doesn’t know how to put them together in a sentence.

It makes Jared chuckle at the end when the cab drives off and Jensen insist on carrying Jared’s bag.

“My Italian is fantastic, I don’t know why you’re laughing.” Jensen assures, winking at him and make Jared laugh again, patting Jensen’s cheek and amusing him with a condescending _“Sure, sure”_ that makes Jensen smile even when he _knows_ Jared is simply playing along.

As expected, the keys of the apartment are waiting for them at the reception. All they have to do is present the fake IDs and passports with the names Chad used in the Airbnb page for the reservation. They get a set of keys and a little pamphlet with a map of local restaurants and locations for tourists. Jared thanks the staff with a smile even though they are not going to use it for shit.

“The credit card we are paying with is fake too?” Jared asks as they go upstairs, looking for the second apartment on the third floor.

“The name on it is fake, of course. Had to match with the fake passports and the rest.” Jensen brushes it off, not bothered. “The money in it is real though. The owners of this place will get their money without knowing our real names.”

“You swear they will get paid?”

Jensen suddenly stops in the middle of the stairs and Jared almost crashes against his back. When Jared looks up, Jensen is turning towards him with a smile.

“I know you worry about stealing from middle class-working people. Come on, Jared, you know I wouldn’t pull a dick move like that. Chad set everything up. They are getting their money so stop frowning, princess.”

Jared slaps Jensen in the arm for the nickname but is not surprised to know Jensen made sure the owners of the apartment they rented are going to get a fair payment. They have always tried to not fuck other people when they do this kind of jobs. They only steal from the rich people who can take the blow in their pockets.

Yet the real surprise comes when they get inside the apartment.

And it’s because the place is considerably small or that they only have one bathroom, a little kitchen and a tiny living room. Jared has no problem with the size, he actually finds it kind of cozy.

It’s the bedroom that raises the red flags in Jared’s head as soon as Jensen opens the door to leave their luggage in it.

There’s only _one_ king sized bed.

Jensen is the first to talk after they stare at the room in silence, both of them standing under the door frame, with Jared waiting for the bed to magically split it two at any second.

“Well, would you like at that. Chad can have good ideas every now and then.”

“What?!” Jared snaps, letting his bags fall to the floor. “You gotta be joking! Good idea? There’s only _one_ bed!” He can’t believe Chad would betray him like this. Even when it sounds like a very Chad thing for him to do if Jared thinks about it, but _still_.

He can almost imagine his best friend laughing his ass off while telling Chris about Jared and Jensen getting to the apartment to find they have to share a bed.

No way in hell.

“Sucks to be you, because you’re sleeping out in the couch.”

Jensen makes a face, unamused. “Oh, really? I wanna see you try to drag me out and making me stay there all night.”

“We are _not_ sharing a bed.” Jared says very slowly, like that will make Jensen understand. They can’t. All they have done up until now? Already bad enough. Jared shouldn’t be having any contact with Jensen at all. Now he’s in another country with his ex-boyfriend and he thinks they are going to share a bed? No. Just _no_. Jared won’t let himself go there.

“Listen, you little brat.” Jensen flickers Jared’s nose, who swats his hand away and covers his face immediately. “ _You_ are the one who has a problem with sharing, so if _you_ don’t want to do it, then _you_ are welcome to go and sleep outside.”

Jared turns to look at the couch in the living room, considering it for a long second—that Jensen uses to go lay down on the bed to make his point more clear—and trying to imagine himself sleeping in that tiny excuse of a sofa.

Wincing, Jared looks back at the bed, one that looks more that comfortable and big enough for both him and Jensen.

Goddamnit.

“What’s the matter?” Jensen snorts, kicking off his shoes and stretching on the bed. “Are you scared of sharing with me? Think I’m going to bite you?” He clicks his tongue, shrugging. “I wouldn’t unless you ask me to.”

“As if!” Jared argues, getting red. I-It’s not like that! Jensen doesn’t get it. “I’m not saying any of that, stop getting weird ideas. I-Is just...we can’t— and I’m—”

“What, you think that if we share a bed we’re going to end dry humping each other?” Jensen smirks, waggling his eyebrows at Jared. “Do you really have that little self-control around me, _Jay?”_

They nickname throws Jared completely out of balance. He didn’t expect to ever hear anyone call him that again, not after breaking up with Jensen and changing his name. Only Jensen ever called him that, his own little endearment name he used for Jared. Jensen would even get a little bitter whenever Danneel or any of their friends tried to use it. Jared quite liked that only Jensen could call him that _Jay_.

It was _their thing_.

He gulps, lower lip shaking as Jensen keeps eye contact, a little shit smile tugging on his lips as he waits for Jared to say something.

Jared, for his part, is trying to control his heart before he can think what to answer. He still loves the nickname and hates himself for it.

Not to mention what Jensen just stated. _That Jared can’t control himself around him_. Cocky motherfucker _._ Does he really think Jared is going to end all over him if they sleep together? Jensen wishes! Jared is not the same little kid who got a crush the size of the Empire States Building since the moment he met Jensen.

Maybe Jared had almost melted the first time they had to share a bed back in the day, but not now.

Thankfully for him, Jared’s offended pride is bigger than the part of himself that is hyperventilating inside of a paper bag after hearing Jensen call him _Jay_ again.

“Fuck you!” Jared yells then, closing his fists. “Of course I can share a bed with you and don’t even remember you are there!”

He’ll show Jensen. _Fucking asshole._ Jared could sleep for the next ten years next to him and not do or feel a thing. Who does Jensen think he is? Jared’s going to show him how much he doesn’t care at all.

“Move over, you’ll see!”

Making Jensen scoot over to make space for him, Jared slaps Jensen’s knee and lays down next to him with a huff, crossing his arms immediately and looking up with a frown.

Jensen is the complete opposite, lying on his side with smile from ear to ear. “Good. Now you could try being less cranky and enjoy that we’re in Italy about to pull an amazing job, huh?”

Jared ignores him, huffing again. Jensen chuckles and falls back on the bed, yawning.

Staying mad at Jensen’s comments proves quite difficult for Jared after some minutes of silence. He peeks at Jensen, finding him with his eyes closed, yet he doesn’t seem to be asleep.

Jared turns on his side so he can face Jensen. He really is bad at the ice treatment and could never stay mad at Jensen’s asshole tendencies for too long.

“I know you’re up.”

“Of course. We shouldn’t sleep at the same time.” Jensen hums, eyes still closed. “One should stay awake and just, you know, make guard just in case.”

“You got to sleep less when we were in the plane.” Jared yawns mid-sentence, pressing his face against his pillow. He should be the one to stay awake but, _dammit_ , no matter how much he rests, he keeps getting tired. He’s jetlagged after the flight and lying down with Jensen is starting to feel quite comfortable. Jared doesn’t want to move. “You are right, we shouldn’t sleep at the same time. I’m going to stay up.”

Jensen shakes his head in protest, but he doesn’t move either. Jared yawns a second time and closes his eyes too. It’s fine. He’ll let Jensen sleep, he’s going to move in a minute. Jared is going to lay there for a little bit and then go do something else.

 

 

—

 

 

The first thing Jared notices when he opens his eyes is the missing light in the room. It’s getting dark outside for what he can see through the window, making the room dark since they never turned the lights on when they walked in their little rented apartment.

He blinks, letting out a yawn and then rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands.

That’s when he realizes it.

He’s not lying down in the same position he remembers going to sleep on. At some point Jared apparently decided to plaster himself next to Jensen, face pressed to his chest. One of Jensen’s arms is now around Jared’s waist, keeping him close even when he’s still asleep.

Jared tenses almost immediately, taking a sharp breath and then pressing his lips together.

Freaking out might not be a good idea, he doesn’t want to wake up Jensen yet.

Jared tries to get a hold of himself, squeezing his eyes shut so he can stop the vision of Jensen’s everything _that_ close to him. It doesn’t help at all that being in Jensen’s arms is quite comfortable and warm, like Jared belongs right there, curled around Jensen like his body thinks they are still together. Jensen even smells the same.

For only a split second, Jared presses his face back into Jensen and breaths him in, familiarity calming down his nerves as a mischievous part of himself assures him it’s alright. Jensen is asleep, this just for a moment. Jared only wants to pretend everything is like before.

 _Fuck_. But he shouldn’t.

Snapping his eyes open again, Jared tries to pull away, moving on the bed so he’ll put distance between himself and Jensen.

The arm around his waist suddenly wraps tighter around him, not letting Jared move an inch away. Jared looks up, startled, just to find Jensen smiling down at him.

“It’s really been such a long time since we came to Italy, huh?”

Jensen asks like this is nothing, like Jared basically cuddling him in bed is something they have been doing for ever. _Like they never stopped doing it_. Jared can almost feel Jensen’s hand slowly rubbing his lower back, making Jared’s heart almost jump from his chest to the middle of his throat.

“F-Feels like a lifetime.” Jared nods, starting to blush. He’s so goddamn close to Jensen, cheek almost pressed to his chest. There’s no way Jensen won’t feel Jared’s face heating up.

“Funny,” Jensen decides to lean forward and press his face cheek-to-cheek to Jared’s, almost giving him a heart attack. Jared is mortified to find out he’s _only_ embarrassed about Jensen feeling him blush up close and is not mad at Jensen for getting up in his personal space. Jared _should_ be mad. He should be hating this instead of enjoying it so much.

“It still feels exactly the same to me.” Jensen whispers next to his ear before pressing a kiss to Jared’s forehead.

And just as sudden as the intimate contact started, it all ends in the blink of an eye. Jensen removes his arm from around Jared and pulls away to get out of bed, announcing they slept most of the afternoon and he’s going to take a shower. It feels like a rush. One second Jared is curled in bed with Jensen, pressed so close it felt like their skins were going to melt together, and the next one he’s all alone in the room.

Jared turns around on the bed so he can lay down on his back, taking deep breaths. _What the fuck was that?_ God, this is so bad. This is the worst thing that could happen to him.

If there’s something he’s positive about is that he is pretty good at dealing with Jensen when he behaves like the cocky thief.

But there’s no way Jared can resist Jensen when behaves like _this_.

Like the goddamn sweet boyfriend who would let Jared sleep in and make him breakfast in bed after they spent the night stealing money from a casino’s safe in Las Vegas.

Jensen can be an egocentric dick when is about job. He’s overconfident and reckless and can get under Jared’s skin in record time. But Jared also got a taste of how Jensen _really_ is when he cares for someone. He got to see the side of Jensen being in love and Jared was completely doomed ever since.

Seeing any fraction of that part of Jensen again will ultimately kill Jared.

Or break all his self-restraint.

Jared turns on the bed again, leaving one hand over the pillow as he curls around himself.  The sparkle around his finger catches his attention, guilt coming back like punch. He shouldn’t be feeling this way when he’s going to marry someone else. When that someone is back at United States not having a clue of where Jared went or what happened to him.

He’s being an asshole for just feeling this way around Jensen when he’s engaged. It’s the same little song that has been playing along in his head for days now. _Guilty. Can’t. Engaged. Stephen. Jensen._ Like a broken record that keeps making noise inside of him over and over again.

The sound of a phone ringing startles Jared out of his guilt trip. He looks around, trying to find the phone in the little apartment, moving from the room to the living room when he doesn’t spot anything. He finds a phone on the kitchen wall, but the constant ringing is not coming from that one. It sounds more like a cellphone. Looking in his pockets, he pulls out his phone and tries to type his password. Out of battery again. It couldn’t be his phone anyway, he realizes in that moment, his cellphone would have stopped working the second they left America. 

The sound of a door sliding open and close again comes from the room in that moment and then Jensen’s voice makes echo around the small apartment.

“Fuck you, Murray, I was taking a shower.” Jensen complains from the bathroom, making Jared run back in their room.

The bathroom door is wide open when Jared steps inside and he feels the need to turn on his heels and run until he can’t feel his legs anymore when he realizes Jensen only has a towel around his hips.

Almost naked ex-boyfriend. _Wonderful_. Just what Jared needed to help the guilt eating him alive.

“Put something on!” Jared screeches before he can help himself, turning around so he’s not facing Jensen. _Why, why, why_. He only got a second of staring and yet it was enough for Jared to realize that Jensen looks just as good as he remembers.

It’s not like he hasn’t seen Jensen like that before. Jared got plenty of naked time with Jensen years ago. But this is _different_ , they are not together anymore so he shouldn’t be looking and he certainly shouldn’t be getting quite excited at the view.

A snort behind him makes him tense up.

“I have something on, it’s called a towel. And I don’t know why you’re making such a fuss when you have seen me naked before and from very creative angles too.” Jensen clicks his tongue, almost like he’s disappointed by Jared’s reaction. _This motherfu—!_ “No, not _you_ , Chad. I was talking to Jared, you idiot.” There’s a pause and then Jensen adds. “We didn’t do anything! I was telling _him_ that he has seen me naked before because we—! Agh, never mind. What do you want?”

Jared wants to know what Chad wants, too. He wouldn’t call for no reason. Taking a quick glance over his shoulder, Jared almost lets out a sigh of relief when he sees Jensen stepping in a pair of boxers and jeans he was wearing before. Turning around again now that is safer territory—meaning Jared won’t get any flashes of Jensen’s bulge—he waits for Jensen to say something about the reason behind Chad’s call.

Jared still gets an eye full of Jensen’s back though, drops of water sliding down his skin. But at least Jensen can’t see the fraction of a second when Jared instinctively bites his lower lip and looks up and down, filling himself with miles of skin, muscles and freckles.

_To think Jared could have all that on top of him back then._

“Yeah, he’s here. Wait, I’ll put you on speaker.”

Jared turns his head to look at the lamp on one corner of the room like is the most interesting thing he has seen in his life when Jensen turns around, fidgeting with his phone for a second until he finds the right place to tap, finally putting Chad on speaker and throwing his cellphone on the bed.

“Done, you can talk now.”

 _“About time, grandpa. Such a challenge to use a touchscreen, huh?”_ Chad’s voice sounds loudly around the room. Jared chuckles—still avoiding looking at Jensen until he puts on a shirt, no way he’s going to show the levels of thirst he just reached when Jensen can see him—while Jensen sighs, annoyed, probably hoping Chad could be there to punch him. _“Anyway, J-man, you around?”_

“Yeah, I’m here.” Jared sits down on the bed, choosing to look at the phone to not seem that suspicious.

 _“Good, listen up. You told me to keep you updated with information about Stephen and his family since you left, right?”_ Jared did. He wants to make sure they are safe and Pellegrino isn’t going after them to get to him. And he also wants to know if Chad could get any information on how Stephen is taking his disappearance. _“Well, you better take this crazy fucking news with your sweet ass sitting down. Because the mess after you left the engagement party is epic.”_

The next fifteen minutes of Chad explaining what is going on back in Washington leaves Jared with his face between both hands, shaking his head and wanting to break something.

Turns out that after Jared left some nights ago and Stephen couldn’t find him anywhere, contact him or track his phone, he and his family decided to call the police. And for some reason not even Chad understand, after analyzing the events of the night including Jared leaving to his room in the middle of the party, acting strange and then not opening the door when Stephen went to ask him if he was okay, made the _bright_ detectives determine that Jared was kidnapped by someone who wanted to get money out of Stephen’s family.

The police have been “investigating” for two days now, trying to get clues of what happened to Jared, who could have taken him or any information that can lead them to find him.

“Holy fuck, how stupid can they be?” Jensen shakes his head, now thankfully fully dressed and standing on one side of the room, leaning against a wall. “Kidnapped?” He snorts. “Are they serious? Just by looking at the state of the room would show he left voluntarily! He would have put up a fight if he was kidnapped.”

 _“It’s on the fucking local news and all, dude.”_ Chad laughs at the other side of the phone, amused. _“Nobody from the family has made any statements though. But supposed sources close to Amell say he’s very worried about Jared’s safety.”_

“Isn’t he lovely?” Jensen says with a high pitched voice, touching his chest with one hand and batting his eyelashes at Jared, who gives him a murdering look before letting out a sigh, once again feeling horrible for making Stephen worry for him like that.

 _Kidnapped_ , no less. That makes it much worse. If Stephen thought Jared left him he would only be heartbroken, but with the stupid police theory he’s now going to be worried sick for Jared’s life. Fantastic, just great!

But Jared has to think logically. Being away will keep Pellegrino away from Stephen and his family. _Jared being away will keep Stephen safe_. When everything is solved, Jared will explain and he knows Stephen will understand.

He _has_ to understand. Or at least Jared hopes he does. Jared is not doing this to hurt Stephen, he never expected his past to catch up with him like this. And the last thing he wants is put anyone else in danger for what he chose to be and do back in the day.

All he can do is hope for the best once he goes back to tell everything to Stephen.

They hang up after Chad is done updating them and Jensen proposes they should go grab a bite. They overslept and skipped lunch, so they might as well get something for dinner.

It’s Jared’s turn to take a shower and he uses the time alone to put his head in place.

He remembers in that moment what Jensen told him last time he took a shower for a long time, the comment about being in there jerking off. The image of Jensen’s naked back comes back with flash in his head and Jared’s dick twitches as he stands under the spray of hot water. Jared changes the water to ice cold almost immediately, face burning as he swears he’s _not_ going to get off thinking about Jensen.

When he makes it out of the shower after making sure he killed any possibility of getting a boner, Jared finds Jensen sitting on the bed and watching some news in the small TV in the room. Jensen turns it off as soon as he sees Jared walk out and informs him he just made reservations for them, so they better hurry.

Thanks to their apartment’s location they have many restaurants close by, the advantage of being only minutes away from one of the most important touristic spots of Florence. So Jensen could have picked one of the places that are basically next to their building, he makes Jared walk by his side for almost five minutes before they make it to a small restaurant that Jared wouldn’t have noticed if Jensen hadn’t stopped in front of it. It has a simple wooden door with a name painted on the wall on top of it, almost getting lost between all the other restaurants around it, which are much more attractive to the eye.

Jared realizes how wrong he is once they step inside.

The restaurant isn’t big, but it makes up with everything else. It smells delicious. That’s the first thing Jared notices, suddenly realizing how hungry he is as they walk up to their table after Jensen gives the waiter their names for the reservation. The decoration is all paintings of landscapes of different parts of Italy and there’s a replica of the painting _The Siege of Florence_ by the Italian painter Giorgio Vasari in the middle of the restaurant. Jared knows it’s a copy not only because the original would be incredibly expensive but also because he and Jensen stole the real one and sold it in the black market years ago.

Jensen catches Jared staring at it and smirks, nodding along.

“I remember that one too.” He laughs, getting to the table and surprising Jared by pulling out his chair for him. Jared looks from Jensen to the waiter before sitting down, coughing and taking the menu on the table as Jensen sits in front of him.

Everything is in Italian, of course. Jared is sure whatever he orders will taste amazing for how good the entire place smells but he would still like to know what he’s going to eat. Then, out of nowhere, Jensen tells the waiter something in Italian. Like, an actual phrase with more than the five words Jared remembers Jensen knew. Jensen’s Texan accent still shines through as he speaks, but it’s decent enough for the waiter to answer back in Italian and leave. 

Jared has no idea what Jensen just said, he knows squat of Italian. He had some Spanish classes back in high school and that’s it. He only catches something that sounds like _“mio marito”_ when Jensen points at Jared but God knows what the hell that means.

“What was that?” Jared asks, almost amused, once the guy leaves them alone.

Jensen smiles, obviously pleased by Jared’s surprise. “What? I told you my Italian was excellent.”

“I remember you knew how to say _hello, goodbye_ and _bathroom_. That was it.” He points out, shaking his head. “When did you learn to say something actually useful?”

“I have many layers, like an onion. I’m full of surprises as you see.”

Jared rolls his eyes while he keeps checking the menu, still smiling in return. Jensen seems to catch that Jared doesn’t know what to order so he recommends him some dishes he has eaten before. He explains that he chose this restaurant instead of the others because it’s small and quiet. Here they can easily discuss about the job they are going to pull without anyone eavesdropping.

As Jensen explains how nobody will hear them discuss about business in this place, perfect for talking about stealing and such, Jared looks around them. The restaurant has a vibe he can’t quite put his finger on it until he notices that everyone around them are couples. In fact, the tables only have two chairs each. This is a place only _for_ couples. There are candles on each table, roses everywhere and soft romantic music playing in the background. _That’s it._ That’s the vibe Jared was looking for.

This place screams romance from every single corner.

That’s another reason why nobody would pay much attention to them. All the other couples seem too busy eating while holding hands or kissing like tomorrow is the end of the world.  

Jared is surprised to find himself a little sad that they are here for business. For only a second he feels a painful pinch in the middle of his chest at the idea of Jensen picking a romantic restaurant only for couples but just because it’s easier to talk about work here.

 _“And not because it’s a date”_ provides his brain, as Jared keeps staring around them.

It’s the kind of place Jared would have loved to come to when they were together. He’s a romantic at heart and sometimes their line of work didn’t give them enough time to do things like this. And Stephen... _well_ , Stephen is not a romantic person. He’d never choose a small cozy Italian restaurant instead of a five star one where you can only get in wearing fancy clothes and where you would bump into other rich important people.

He makes his brain stop turning around the idea of sharing this romantic little spot with Jensen to pay attention to the explanation Jensen has for him instead.

The hit is going to happen the next night. There is a fancy party at the house of some rich guy Jensen doesn’t care for but was hired to steal from. This time they are not sneaking in the place, they actually have to go in the party as one of the guests. That way when they do their magic, there will be plenty of possible suspects and no way to track back to Jensen and Jared.

“Okay, if we’re getting in like actual guests it means we need an invitation.” Jared points out, already back in working-mode after the waiter takes their order and leaves them alone again. “Do you have one?”

“I’ll take care of that.” Jensen shrugs, playing with the salt and pepper.

“How?” Jared inquiries, squinting while Jensen laughs before winking at him.

“You know I’ve got my ways.” Which is true, but Jared would like to know the details. He is more of a _planning_ and _checklist_ person while Jensen loves to improvise as they go by. “You know I’ve got my ways. Come on, Jared, you _do_ remember I’m amazing at this, right?”

“Gee, someone is still the same cocky Jensen I remember,” Jared says sarcastically but without any real heat, trying not to smile. “What a surprise!”

“Hey, it’s not illegal to brag when you’re good at something. Not my fault I was born for this.” Jensen smirks, showing Jared the black watch the waiter had around his left wrist when they got there.

“Oh God!” Jared can’t help laughing now. “You have to give it back!”

“I’ll put it in his pocket when he brings the food. And he won’t notice that either.” Jensen shrugs, one hundred percent confident in himself.

Jared clicks his tongue, faking offense. “Thief.” He accuses, smiling.

“I prefer _specialist in complicated acquisitions_.” Jensen leans forward, tucking some of Jared’s hair behind his ear and then pretending to pull something from behind Jared’s neck, showing Jared the keys of the apartment that were supposed to be in Jared’s pocket.

Jared shakes his head again, taking the keys away from Jensen before smacking his hand playfully.

“Do _not_ go around pickpocketing from me, Ackles.”

“You love it.” Jensen smirks again and Jared only rolls his eyes in return, trying not to smile.

“Let me guess what we’re taking. Florence, so…probably an art piece?” 

“Best deal at Italy and France, you know the drill.” Jensen waves one hand in the air, like it’s common and not so much of a big deal. “Guess what it is.”

Jared hums, taking some of the fresh bread they have on the table and slowly smearing butter over it.

“Small sculpture? Painting?”

“So close with the first one.” Jensen takes a piece of bread too, nodding. “It’s a Fabergé Egg called _Rosebud_. It’s a jeweled, enameled Easter egg made in 1895. It was a fancy gift for the Russian Empress _Alexandra Feodorovna_ from her husband; surprised you don’t have one from Rich McDollarson.” Jensen adds and Jared throws him a piece of bread. “And here’s the thing: you know those eggs usually have surprises inside. There’s a golden crown covered in diamonds and rubies _and_ a ruby pendant inside of the damn thing.”

Jared whistles, trying to imagine how much someone would legally paid for it. “Fancy.”

“Tell me about it. The guy who hired me seems to have a fetish for those fucking eggs, they are like a treasure for rich people since they used to be gifts from Emperors to their wives or mothers. I stole another one for him years ago, the Royal Danish Egg.”

Something Jared always liked about Jensen is how nonchalant he is about stealing things that are worth millions. He doesn’t care for them in the greedy way so many people do. He’s not in for the money or the pieces they take, is all about the risk and the drill of stealing them.

“Guess the guy wants to expand his private collection.”

“So, we’re replacing it for a fake one?” Jared guesses again, taking a sip of water. “Cut the security alarms and cameras, take off the lights for enough time for you to change the real for the fake one and then delete all footage that proves we were ever there?”

Jensen presses a hand to his chest, closing his eyes and letting out a sigh like Jared just said the most romantic thing on earth. “Oh baby, you know I love when you talk thievery to me.”

“And I didn’t even mention finding a digital map of the entire mansion and its exits so we know exactly how to take out the egg without getting noticed.” Jared adds while raising both eyebrows and Jensen let’s out another love-filled sigh that has Jared laughing out loud.

“You haven’t hacked anything in a while, right?” Jensen comments after Jared finally stops laughing and the waiter brings their food. “Maybe you’re rusty.”

“I’ll give you rusty.” Jared replies immediately, already excited with the challenge to show Jensen he’s just as good as before.

Jensen doesn’t give back any smartass reply like Jared is expecting him to do. He stays quiet instead, staring at Jared for a long time before whispering.

“I haven’t seen that look in you for such a long time.” The tone Jensen uses is completely different from the teasing one he had before. Jensen’s serious now, but not mad. He sounds nostalgic. “I miss it. A lot.”

Distracting himself by eating his food, Jared tries to control the sudden rush of emotions before saying anything in return.

He would lie if he said he doesn’t misses this. _That he doesn’t misses them working together_. Jared might be the one who wanted to have some normal between their crazy thieving lives, but that doesn’t mean he hated it. That wouldn’t be true for a second. He loved what he did with Jensen, there was no comparison to it and there might never be. The things he lived with Jensen because of their line of work can’t be replaced, Jared misses it every single day.

What he doesn’t miss is the danger that came from it, the worry that could come from either of them getting hurt. Or worse.

Walking away only took half of that worry away, since he knew Jensen would keep doing it. Jared couldn’t be at peace if Jensen was out there getting himself in danger all alone.

But this? The planning, the rush, the excitement? Them together, laughing and joking and trying to figure everything out so they can pull jobs nobody else does?

Jared misses this every single moment he’s awake and then dreams about those old days.

“I did too.” He whispers after a while and he can hear Jensen’s sharp breath in return. “I missed it too, Jensen.”

When Jared looks up, Jensen doesn’t seem able to take his eyes off of him. He seems surprised, which somehow hurts. Does he thinks Jared wouldn’t miss all they did, their time together? Jensen is so wrong, almost like he doesn’t remember how much Jared loved what they did as long as they did it together.

“How did you get shot?”

The question seems to startle Jensen more than Jared’s previous comment, and there’s a painfully long pause after it. They keep eating in silence until they are almost both done and Jared is convinced that’s a subject Jensen doesn’t want to talk about and that his question will go unanswered. He’ll probably have to ask Chad again and again to _please_ tell him the story.

That is until Jensen reaches over for the wine they have been drinking and fills his cup, to then proceed to drink all of it at once.

“It was some months after we broke up.” Jensen starts, talking slow. He doesn’t look at Jared, still eating and avoiding eye contact. Jared doesn’t press, he knows Jensen doesn’t like to have this kind of conversations very often. Not that he’s emotionally unavailable but, just like Jared, Jensen doesn’t like the vulnerability that comes from sharing parts of his life. Jensen doesn’t trust easily, doesn’t like to talk about himself, his life or things he had to overcome. “I was stupid. More than that. I _wanted_ to be stupid.”

Jensen stops to fill his glass with wine once again, but this time he only gives it a couple sips before leaving in on the table.

“All of them...Chad, Chris, Danny...they said I was falling into a _‘self-destructive pattern’_ or some shit like that.” He makes air-quotes and then huffs, “I guess the result could say they were right. I was careless. All I could think about was: _who cares if Jared’s not there waiting for me anymore?”_

Jared bites the inside of his cheeks, feeling his eyes filling up with tears, but he doesn’t dare to say a thing. Jensen sighs and finally looks up. Jared doesn’t care if Jensen can see he’s about to cry, couldn’t give less of a shit. All Jared cares about right now is Jensen not being careful, letting himself get hurt. _Not caring if he got shot dead._

“You weren’t there so I just... didn’t give a fuck anymore.” Jensen only keeps eye contact so long, glancing down at his almost empty plate again. “I kept going to whatever job they asked me to go, didn’t even care who I pissed off or how dangerous it was stealing some things from really dangerous people. I would go for it no matter what. And I got what I deserved for it.” He points at the spot where Chad shoved him the day before. “Hurts like a motherfucker every now and then and, like Chad said, is a disadvantage during physical fights. Sometimes I can’t use my arm if someone hits me there too hard. I damaged some nerves pulling out the bullet myself and then I did I piss poor job stitching it. It was a mess.”

 _It hurts_. Jared can’t properly describe the pain inside and all over himself as he keeps hearing Jensen. Is not a physical pain, is like something inside him is constricting, pulling and hurting in a way that makes him want to hide his face between his arms and sob until his eyes dry out.

All he was always scared for has been Jensen getting hurt. The two times he got shot when they were together and Jared almost lost his mind. The idea of a life without Jensen was something he could simply not imagine. Jensen was _everything_ for him. And because of that, Jared had always feared that Jensen could get fatally wounded sometime.

That Jensen would die for the things they did. _And then it almost happened._

But Jared wasn’t there.

Jensen’s hand on his cheek startles him, making him jump on his seat. He slides his thumb under one of Jared’s eyes, catching a few tears before pulling away. The absence of Jensen’s touch makes the pain in Jared grow bigger. He wants to hold Jensen. Jared would give anything in that moment to just hug him, slide his hands over the scar that bullet left and then press his lips over it. Jared wishes he could take away all the pain Jensen has ever felt.

“But, you know what they say, a bad penny always turns up.” There’s a sudden change in Jensen’s tone, changing it for a cheerful one. Like what he just said doesn't mean a thing. But Jared knows is a fake-cheerful mask. “Here I am, still kicking after all that, so really, is fine.”

Except it’s not. It’s not okay that Jensen didn’t care at all for himself or that he got hurt the way he did. Jared had no idea Jensen reacted that way after they were over. For some stupid reason he always imagined Jensen taking it like everything else: calm, confident, keep on going with his life like nothing ever affected him. Jared had no idea how wrong he had been about it.

“You don’t have to worry, Jared.” Jensen adds, probably guessing what he’s thinking, before smiling.

Jared is about to reach over and put his hand over Jensen’s, or maybe cup his face, bring him close. Anything that will show Jensen that Jared _does worry_ and he cares more than Jensen will ever imagine.

But Jensen pulls his chair back before Jared can move, saying he’s going to pay for their dinner now that they are both finished, standing up and leaving the table behind while Jared watches him walk away.


	5. Chapter 5

—Chapter 5—

 

 

_It starts around the time they are about to hit five years together._

_It was hard to point the day they stopped being a team of thieves who were clearly into each other and became official. After all, Jared and Jensen always did everything in a weird order, as Chad likes to point out._

_Their first kiss was a clear example. It happened in the middle of a job, when they had almost been caught and were hiding from the security guards running around the museum, with Jared trying to contain his laughter after Jensen activated an alarm he hadn’t turned off yet. Jensen kept insisting he was out of his mind for finding any of the situation funny, trying to hold his own smiles and telling Jared to shut it before his giggles got them caught. It happened with both of them plastered together between two walls, with Jared pressing his face into Jensen’s shoulder to muffle his chuckles and Jensen suddenly tilting his face up press their lips together._

_Later on, Jensen had told Jared he had an epiphany in that moment, alarm going off and security guards shouting in the background. Jensen said they could have been doomed in that moment and yet all he could see was Jared pressed close, smiling. That’s when he knew._

They did it all in their own weird way. Stealing together before ever going into a date. Kissing when they were supposed to only work together because they were amazing when they teamed up. Had sex for the first time after weeks of not talking of that kiss. They were everything before they were official.  

_Jared knew he loved Jensen before they got together._

_That’s the way they would do things. And also the reason why they chose the day they met as their anniversary, since they didn’t really have any other official date._

_Jared thought for a while that Jensen wouldn’t fuck with romantic dates or the idea of celebrating the day they each other, but to his utter surprise, Jensen had made sure to do something especial every year._

_For the fifth anniversary, though, he had a job._

_By that time, Jared had been playing with the idea of going to college. What once was an unreachable dream he wouldn’t allow himself to think about was now inches away from his hands. Teaming up with Jensen since graduation meant five years of getting stupid amounts of money every other week, giving Jared enough to pick any college in the world if he wanted to._

_Nothing was too far away or too expensive. Meeting Jensen taught Jared there was nothing he can’t achieve._

_He wanted to study engineering.  It was like the cherry on top of his hacker ice cream._

_Yet, all the process of picking, visiting and applying for the next semester was taking some time away from his unusual job. Jensen had been supportive about it, saying they could get a place wherever Jared wanted to study and he would keep doing his special thieving business while Jared went to classes. They could even team up again during weekends or vacations. They would make it work out._

_When their fifth anniversary arrived, Jared was going to visit Yale and Jensen was going to fly to Germany for an entire week._

_“All I’m saying,” Jared mumbled, organizing the books he has just bought on the shelves they have next to the fireplace in the brand new place they rented for two months. Having a place to meet whenever they were not travelling together made more sense, felt like a more stable and real home. “Is that you could have asked them to schedule you every other week of the year, you know?”_

_Jensen’s arms around his waist made Jared stop moving the books around for a second yet he kept going with his task after a moment, pretending to not feel him. Fake anger always got him Jensen doing anything to put Jared back in a good mood, so it was worth the acting. Jensen pressed his mouth to Jared’s neck, leaving a trail of kisses until he reached his ear._

_“Don’t pout, I told you it wasn’t my choice. It was this week or_ go to hell, Ackles _.”_

 _“I’m not pouting.” Jared huffed and Jensen pressed another, louder, kiss to his cheek, getting a giggle out of Jared. “And you can tell_ them _to go hell. You are one of the best thieves in the world, they can't tell you what to do.”_

_“Getting me in trouble and then flattering me? You’re on a roll today.”_

_Jensen slid his hands from around Jared’s waist until he found his belly, starting to tickle Jared until he was squirming in Jensen’s arms and laughing hard enough to probably make their neighbors hear him. Jared tried to swat Jensen away, playfully, head thrown back and leaning on Jensen’s shoulder as he kept giggling, only getting Jensen to hold him even tighter. Jared knew he wasn’t going anywhere until he called_ uncle _._

_“I’m not going to miss the day anyway,” Jensen reminded Jared minutes later, both of them lying on the couch. Or actually, Jensen was lying on the couch and Jared was lying on top Jensen, using him as some kind of body pillow. “I told you, I’ll be back Friday morning. Perfect for our special anniversary dinner on Saturday night.”_

_Jared had huffed again, face on Jensen’s chest while Jensen stroked his hair absently. “You better, or I’ll kick your ass.”_

_It had been Jensen’s turn to laugh, but he agreed immediately when Jared smacked his arm as any reply._

_“Should I make reservations for that night, by the way?”_

_“No, let me pick the details. I’ll have everything ready for that night, you’ll see. Just make sure to be here that day.” Jared explained, already planning in his head what they could do that night._

_They always went out so he had been thinking of practicing while Jensen was away so Jared could cook something himself for that night. Something special, probably Jensen’s favorite._

_“Fair enough, bossy little thing.” Jensen hugged Jared, arms around his lower back. “I’ll be here on time, I swear.”_

_“By the way,” Jared spoke up again after a while, looking up so he can see Jensen’s face. “What is it you’re going to do?”_

_“Steal some documents for this group of guys.”_

_“But not like…documents that can get you in deep trouble, right?” Jared pressed, trying to get more information, suddenly more alert than before. “We’re talking about stealing an old person’s testament so the guys who hired you can change it and get all the money they want when the dude dies. Not about stealing the document that has their debts to a mobster or drug dealer. You’re not doing that kind of work on your own, right?”_

_Jared started to seat up, trying to remember if Jensen gave him more details of the job before._

_“We said we wouldn’t do type A dangerous shit if one of us is going alone.”_

_Jensen stopped him before Jared could leave the couch, pulling him back down and cupping his face with one hand._

_“Would you relax? It’s not that bad.” He brushed it off, stroking Jared’s cheek with his thumb. “Look at me, it’s not that level of dangerous and I’m going to be fine.” And then he gave Jared a_ type A smile _. The kind that would make Jared feel better no matter what. “I promise, Jay.”_

_The week came and went, with Jared visiting Yale and practicing how to cook Jensen’s favorite dish twice. And then, Friday finally arrived._

_Jensen didn’t get home that morning._

_Which was almost expected, shit can go against their schedule when doing their line of work, Jared knew that. He had been there. They spoke on the phone at the start of the week but Jared knew Jensen would be really busy the last days of the job. Not to mention that if Jared was not there to remind Jensen he had to charge his phone every now and then because technology works certain way, Jensen would forget to do it. Ackles expected his battery to last a lifetime and that’s his phone always died at the worst times._

_Jared took it as an opportunity to surprise Jensen even more. If Jensen wasn’t home Friday night, he wasn’t going see Jared cooking at all, so when he got home he would find everything ready. It could go even better than planned._

_Yet it sucked when Jared woke up on Saturday and Jensen was not there yet. It was the morning of their anniversary and they had never not been together during it._

_“But it’s fine” Jared thought to himself, dialing Jensen’s phone to at least say hello._

_It went straight to voicemail._

_Jensen was probably in the plane. Jared left a voicemail wishing Jensen a happy anniversary and telling him he better brought an amazing gift as apology and also to better give Jared even more amazing sex that night to make up for it._

_By seven o’clock Jared had all the food ready, meat in the oven and candles light up on their dining table. He poured himself a glass of wine and waited, texting Chad if he knew which plane Jensen boarded._

_Maybe Jared could track one of Jensen’s fake credit cards and find which ticket he bought to get all the details of his flight, but he didn’t want Jensen to walk in the apartment and find Jared tracking him down during their anniversary._

_At nine, the food was cold and the candles are completely melted. Jared sank in the couch, leaving Jensen another voice message._ Where the fuck was he? _Jensen better had a good excuse to not be there. Jared was going to get mad for real if Jensen missed their night for taking a plane too late or something._

_By ten, Jared was furious. And sad. Yet he was trying to feed off of the first one much more._

_Jared was lying down on the same couch where Jensen swore he would be on time for their anniversary one week ago, gripping his phone with one hand while he nursed his fourth glass of wine in the other._

_“You’re an asshole,” Jared hissed after the beep that indicated he could leave his message. “You said you would be here, Jensen, you said it!” He sniffed, hoping Jensen couldn’t hear he was tearing up when he finally opens his fucking messages or remembers to turn on his phone. “I’m such an idiot! I told you not to make reservations so I could cook something for you._ Surprise, surprise! _And now everything is cold and you’re not even here!”_

_Jared made a pause so he could cleaning his tears, feeling like an idiot. Jensen had never done something like that before. Stand him up? Ruing a day he knew meant so much for Jared? Jensen was not like that._

_But fuck that, Jared was going to be mad at him for this for years._

He was about to keep talking when he saw his phone’s screen flash, indicating he was getting another call.

_Sitting up and hanging up Jensen’s voicemail, Jared took the other call, hoping it might be his stupid boyfriend realizing he left his phone die and had the courtesy to buy minutes from someone to call. So Jared picked up ready to yell into the phone, only stopping when he heard a woman at the other side of the call, asking if this was Jared and if he could confirm he was the emergency contact for a guy named Jensen._

Two minutes later the glass of wine was broken in front of the couch and Jared was running down the stairs, cars keys gripped in his hand while he felt his entire world crumbling down.

“Haven’t you seen the news, sir?” _That’s what she asked. She was talking about Jared being Jensen’s emergency contact and that’s what she asked, if Jared had seen the fucking news._ “Someone got shot in the airport, sir.” _Someone leaving the airport, someone coming from Germany. The police didn’t catch the person who did it, she was only a nurse, she didn’t have many details. A bullet to the stomach, too much blood loss, major damage_. “What’s his full name, sir? All we could find in his wallet was your name along with your cellphone number. You’re his emergency contact, right?” _She had said the hospital’s name and Jared had hung up and started running, head spinning like he was going up and down in a rollercoaster._

_Jared didn’t know how he didn’t crash on his way there, running red lights and going over the speed limit._

_Jared was a mess when he got to the hospital. He couldn’t get a word out._

_He only mumbled_ “Jensen, Jensen, Jensen” _to the nurse in charge at the emergency room, like that was going to make any sense. He finally spat out_ “the guy at the airport” _and the face she made had Jared hiding his face between his hands and crying the most painful tears he had ever cried._

_He sat in the waiting room they took him too, somewhere inside, not in the E.R. They sat down next to him and offered him coffee, but Jared didn’t answer and didn’t drink it when they got him a cup._

_Jared stared for hours at the door where they said the doctor would come out from to talk to him, eyes burning and heart empty. He had texted Chad at some point to find out what the fuck happened but then stopped checking his phone to read the replies._

_People kept staring at him when they walked by, peaking at the guy who looked like he was dead inside while crying like the world had just ended._

_The idea of losing Jensen exactly five years after meeting him seemed too cruel to be real._

_Yet there he was. Waiting for one fucking person to come out and tell him if Jared’s entire life would make it._

_He begged everybody for any information, any passing nurse or doctor. Anyone who could tell him anything about Jensen._

“Is he dead?!” _Jared snapped at one nurse at last, shaking as he rubbed the sleeve of his hoodie on his face—Jensen’s hoodie, actually,  he pulled it from the closet before running out; Jared could still smell Jensen on it but now he wondered how long it would pass before the perfume fades off. “Just tell me!”_

_“Sir, I’m really sorry but he’s still in surgery—”_

_“He’s mine,” Jared sniffed, brushing the hair out of his face and almost pulling it as he did so. “He’s mine and he’s all I’ve got and all you can tell me is that you’re sorry? Sorry is not going to bring Jensen back.”_

_It could be hours or days later when someone finally came up to Jared. It was an old guy who somehow reminded Jared of his old high school principal. He put a hand on Jared’s shoulder and told him Jensen was stable. He would have to stay in the hospital for some weeks and the recovery might take some time. The bullet had perforated Jensen’s stomach and he was lucky he got at the hospital on time. Twenty minutes more and the story would be different._

_Jared hugged the doctor. He wrapped his arms around him even when he knew he was not supposed to and then cried and cried and_ cried _._

_Only family was allowed to go in once they moved Jensen from the operation room back to the E.R. Jared tried to explain Jensen didn’t have any other family. It’s just the two of them. He even told the head nurse that they were married, Jared could get Chad to fax them a fake certificate if it came to that._

_All he wanted to do was be there with Jensen, nothing else. Just hold his hand and watch him breath. He needed to be there. It was Jensen._ His Jensen _. They couldn’t just keep him out._

_They said gay marriage was not legal in that state and therefore didn’t allow Jared to count as Jensen’s family._

_He had leaned against one of the walls close to the doors of the E.R, letting himself slide down until he was sitting down on the floor, hugging his knees and tearing up._

_Jared just wanted to be there when Jensen woke up._

_It was not until the next morning when a different nurse came close, kneeling in front of him and telling him Jensen did okay all night. They were even thinking of moving him into a room and she could sneak Jared in after that, she could say Jared is a cousin or something. Jared wished he could have had it in him to smile at her but his face didn’t seem to work anymore for anything that was not sobbing his eyes out by that point._

_She seemed to understand though, patting his shoulder and telling Jared to go get something to eat before going in._

_“Your husband won’t want to see you like that when he’s up. Go to the bathrooms, wash up and I’ll be waiting here for you. Don’t worry.”_

_Seeing Jensen lying down with all kinds of machines connected to him, one helping him breathe going down his throat and other monitoring his heart was terrifying. Jensen always seemed so strong. Nothing could bring him down. Not Jensen._

_Jared sat by his side and held his hand, stroking his fingers and promising everything was going to be okay now. Jared was there, he wasn’t going to leave him. As long as they were together, nothing bad was going to happen._

_Jensen woke up that afternoon and even when Jared thought he had dried himself out of tears, that moment alone proved him wrong. Jared held Jensen and cried as much as he had done the fast days._

_Things seemed to get better from that point forward._

_As expected, Jensen’s recovery was going to take some time. They had to stay at the hospital for a couple weeks and luckily the doctors keep the police out, saying Jensen was still too weak to talk about what happened. Jensen knew though, and he told Jared all about it._

_The owner of the documents he stole had seen Jensen’s face, probably had Jensen followed to the airport and then hired someone to be waiting for him once he got back to America. Jensen had cupped Jared’s face and told him he was sorry for ruining their anniversary, but Jared only let out a watery laugh and shook his head, leaning into Jensen’s touch and telling him to not be stupid. It wasn't his fault, Jensen was coming back home as planned when it happened._

_Jared didn’t mention the fact that Jensen lied. He didn’t bring up how Jensen promised he would be okay and that he wasn’t doing something_ that _dangerous. He didn’t tell Jensen he lied to him and broke his promise._

_Jared didn’t say it then or when they went back home after sneaking out of the hospital when Jensen has recovered enough to walk with Jared’s help._

_He couldn’t speak to the police about what happened, he would have to explain why someone wanted revenge in the first place—the guy who shot him got his own, Danneel and Chris went after him days later—and they had been giving fake names all along. Fake last names, at least, but their first name were not going to be enough to find them._

_Chad was already looking into deleting the tapes from the security cameras in the hospital from the time Jensen stayed there and hacked into their database to have all the doctors and nurses who tended Jensen transferred to different parts of the country so it would be harder for the police to track them down._

_They would want to catch the one shooting the gun more than the poor bastard who got shoot anyway. Jared left a printed note that explained they were leaving because they had no money to pay for the upcoming hospital bill. That would make the police less interested into Jensen’s disappearance._

_Jared and Jensen ha to stay home for a while after that, waiting for Jensen to recover. No jobs, no funny business. Jared had to put a stop to looking for colleges but it was fine, he had been doing everything too early and he still had months to decide._

_Right then he wanted to focus on Jensen, he almost lost him after all. Everything else could wait up._

_Being around each other 24/7 was not new for them. Jensen being hurt was, though. He was used to jumping from buildings and running away with security guards chasing him. Right then he could barely walk to the kitchen without feeling exhausted. It made him cranky; staying home without doing a thing seemed to get on Jensen’s nerves._

_Jared was patient for the most part but also made sure to tell Jensen to calm down when he started to be a full on brat about his recovery._

_Jensen sighed and apologized, making Jared sit down on his lap so he could kiss him as he repeated he’s sorry for acting like a pain in the ass. “I’m not used to doing nothing. All my life I have done something. I painted houses and cooked burgers before I started stealing. I don’t know how to lay down and watch you do all the work, is not fair, Jay.”_

_“You got shot, Jensen. I think you can allow yourself to stay in bed with me watching movies and being as lazy as you want.”_

_It seemed like Jensen didn’t mind his long vacations as long as Jared was around. They stayed in bed for hours or Jensen would sit in the couch keeping Jared company while he cooked or cleaned around. Sex was not in the list of activities until Jensen was feeling much better, which also didn’t help, but it let them realize that as much as they had mind blowing fucking sessions they could be just as happy by simply making out while Jared straddled Jensen on the couch._

_Jensen’s surgery was pretty big. He didn’t get stomach rupture, thankfully, but it was still serious enough to leave him out of the game for a considerable time. For what the private doctor they hired for Jensen explained, he was pretty lucky. Since the bullet didn’t go through the guts, it shouldn’t be as traumatic._

_It took a whole month for Jensen to be in a good shape again. He was still not travelling or even pulling local jobs, but he could go as far as to go to the gym and exercise if he wanted to._

_Taking it slow, of course, but it was getting better._

_That gave Jared the opportunity to start over with his college plans. He had decided to apply to Stanford or NYU.  He liked the programs and the campus—for what he had seen in pictures and videos, Jared was still nervous about leaving Jensen alone no matter how much he insisted to travel there—and also liked the cities they would be moving to. New York had the perk of having Chad and Chris right there, which could give them more company and provide Jensen different things to do when Jared was too busy with his classes._

_Jensen nagged Jared and bribed him with enough dates, late nights of watching rom-coms while eating Jared’s favorite food, cuddles and sex for Jared to eventually agree to go on a job together. Inside the country, nothing too wild, something easy and fun._

_Las Vegas, a classic._

_They owned it. Like always, working together was natural for them, they worked around each other like they had been together all their lives. It easy and fun and they had the best time._

_Jensen carried Jared bridal style into their motel room after they were back from the Casino and made love to him all night. It was like the accident never happened and the only reminder of that bullet wound was the scar on one side of Jensen’s abdomen._

_They were back on track._

_But after weeks of being at home and proving he was healthy enough to go back out, Jensen was eager to get back on the horse. Jensen loved his lifestyle, loved what he did. He was always saying that being a thief was what he did the best and enjoyed the most. Jared was happy Jensen was back to behaving like himself again but he couldn’t help but worry._

_Worry it was going to happen again, worry Jensen would get hurt and not be as lucky. He tried to talk Jensen out of some jobs, and even if he convinced him to not go sometimes, it sparked up discussions and fights between them. Fights they never used to have._

_Of course Jared never stopped Jensen from leaving before, they used to go together. But now he had to think about college and not being as active as before. He couldn’t stop Jensen from doing his own thing but every time he was out stealing something the nerves would eat Jared alive._

_They fought when Jared freaked out on Jensen for taking an extra day than expected to come back. They fought when Jensen forgot to call one night he was out in Mexico with Danny. They fought when Jensen almost broke an arm during a job with Chris._

_One after the other, the discussions kept coming and didn’t seem to stop._

_It was like every time Jensen had to leave or do his job, a new discussion started between them. They were not like that. They were not the nagging couple that bossed the other around. Jared didn’t want their relationship to become that but Jensen not learning to be a little more careful and thoughtful about the jobs he took after what happened to him didn’t help either._

_Things were going to go south if they didn’t talk it out._

_And they eventually did go south, the week Jared was finally sending his college applications out._

_He was sitting on the floor, laptop on the coffee table in their living room, finishing up what he had to send to both Universities to get accepted. He could hear Jensen talking on the phone, seemed like JDM for what Jared could catch before Jensen stood up from the couch to go talk in the kitchen._

_Jeffrey Dean hired Jensen every now and then for jobs, he was a thief too and one Jensen respected from here to the moon. He taught Jensen a lot of what he knows, so JDM was like an old friend and mentor._

_Jared sighed then, rubbing his neck and taking a peek at the kitchen. He knew he and Jensen had been dealing with problems lately but he was sure everything would fall into place when they moved. It would be a new city, they would be getting their own home. Things were going to work out eventually, Jared just needed to relax a little bit and Jensen needed to be more careful. But they could do this, they had dealt with worse than being normal and domestic._

_Sighing and standing up to go get something to drink, Jared stopped right next to the kitchen when he caught a part of Jensen’s conversation on the phone._

_“I’m telling you I’m alright.” Jensen had clicked his tongue, leaning against one of the walls. “Yeah, yeah. I can go do that.” There was a pause and then Jensen keeps talking. “I swear I do. Doesn’t sound that dangerous to me.” Jared’s heart constricted for a second and then all hell broke loose when Jensen whispered the next reply. “Listen, just— don’t tell Jared, alright? I’ll tell him is something way easier. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.”_

_“Don’t tell me what?” Jared decided cut him off, walking in the kitchen._

_Jensen hung up immediately. He didn’t say goodbye to JDM, just cut off the call and put the phone back in his pocket._

_“Nothing,” Jensen smiled, trying to seem nonchalant. “How are the applications going?”_

_“Are you kidding me, Jensen?” Jared crossed his arms over his chest, huffing. “I heard you talking to Jeffrey.”_

_He couldn’t believe Jensen was going to pretend nothing happened. Like Jared didn’t fucking hear just then that Jensen was planning to lie to him._ Again _._

_Jensen seemed to get that Jared caught that part of the conversation, letting out a sigh and walking past Jared to get out of the kitchen. Jared followed him immediately, getting angrier by the second._

_“You shouldn’t eavesdrop, you know?”_

_“Oh, eat me.” Jared groaned, crossing his arms when Jensen stopped to turn look at him. “You’re seriously going to pull that when you were planning to bullshit me so you could go do another dangerous job?”_

_“Another?” Jensen repeated, raising both eyebrows. “What ‘another’ are you talking about? All I have been doing are casual jobs to not worry you!”_

_“So that’s why you were going to lie? You seem to be forgetting that little part.”_

_“It was to not make you stress out!” Jensen rubbed his face with one hand, taking a deep breath, “You think I don’t notice how you get whenever I go out now? You are applying for college and I know that’s going to be enough to deal with. I didn’t want you to add more to your plate right now, Jared!”_

_“You don’t get to lie to me like that, no matter what excuse you think you have for it!” Jared raised his voice, starting to get desperate. It was like Jensen didn’t get it. “Last time you lied about what you were going to do you ended in the hospital! And you’re planning to do it again?!”_

_“I didn’t plan that to happen!” Jensen snapped back “And you talk like you were the one who got shot! I’m the one who got hurt and I’m the one deciding to go back and do what I do best!”_

_“And I’m the one who spent our fucking anniversary crying for hours in the hospital thinking you were dead!”_

_Jared walked up to Jensen, anger and frustration colliding together inside of him. That seemed to stop Jensen for a second, who simply looked at Jared while breathing hard. How could Jensen think like that? How could he act like this just affected him alone?_

_“You think I like this? You think I love fighting with you all the time and feeling like I’m holding you back?” Jared whispered, shaking his head while he tried to control himself. “You think I don’t know this is your decision but wish you would at least care at little bit about your well being? Try thinking about more than what_ you _want, Jensen!”_

_This was going to end badly and Jared knew it. They had been avoiding this conversation when they would usually talk it all out, fighting like this was not them. But it was damn time they brought it up._

_“Try thinking about more than what I want?” Jensen repeated, awestruck. “What do you think I have been doing all this time? Taking stupid ass jobs to not worry you, Jared! And it’s all for you, I feel like I’m fine but you’re the one making a big deal about this!”_

_“Because I almost lost you, you idiot!” Jared pushed Jensen, feeling like he was seething in anger. “Is this what you’re going to do from now on? Lie to me whenever you’re out? That sure as hell is going to make me feel better when I start going to college! Thanks a fucking lot, Jensen!”_

_Jensen used to fingers to rub the bridge of his nose, clearly stressed out. They stared at each other, angry like they had never been before. It was an impasse they couldn’t overlook or pretend it was not happening. Their future life was going to be based on that conversation so they had to find a solution._

_“We never lie to each other,” Jared whispered after a moment. “We never have and now this is what you’re doing?”_

_“Well, we were supposed to always work together and that’s clearly changing now.”_

_“Oh, so that’s what this is about!”_ Of course _. Jensen was going to try to pin this on him? But he had another thing coming if he expected Jared to feel bad for something he wanted for himself. Something Jensen had been completely on board with before he got shot coming back from Germany. “Let’s just put it all out, then! Is this about me going to college? Good to know you also lied about being supportive of my decision, jackass!”_

_“I didn’t lie about it! Are you kidding me?” Jensen groaned, kicking one of the sofas. “I want you to go to college too but you can’t expect me to stay home and wait every single day for you to come back from class! You’re choosing to get your degree and that’s fine but don’t expect me to quit what I do!”_

_“I don’t expect you to do any of that! I just want you to be careful!”_

_“There’s no way of being careful in this job and you know that, Jared.” Jensen shook his head, rolling his eyes. “You’re acting like a child. I know how to take care of myself.”_

_“Yeah, because that worked out so well last time.”_

_They stared at each other again, fists closed. They were not backing down and that wasn’t  going to work out._

_Jared wouldn’t have a minute of peace if he knew Jensen was out there thinking it didn’t matter how dangerous things could be. He didn’t  expect Jensen to quit but at least to measure himself, to not put himself in unnecessary danger. Couldn’t he at least do that for Jared? For them?_

_“So this is just what you’re going to do forever? Get yourself in dangerous situations no matter what?”_

_“If the job requires it then_ yeah _, I will. You know that’s how we roll, Jared.”_

_“What about when I graduate, then?”_

_Jensen seemed taken aback from that question. “What— what do you mean when you graduate?”_

_“Yeah. You expect me to get a job and wait for you every night while worrying myself sick because you just can’t bring yourself to pick jobs that won’t kill you? Is the damn excitement from stealing more important than coming back safe?” Jared couldn’t wrap his head around that. He would quit hacking completely if it put him in that much danger, if Jensen asked him to because he was worried for his safety._

_It almost hurt that Jensen wouldn’t do that for him._

_“You’re just going to get a job after you graduate?” Jensen’s question didn’t seem to carry much logic and Jared’s expression must have showed that, because Jensen tried to explain himself after. “That’s— it? I thought you would… you know, start working with me again. Us, together.”_

_“Well, sometimes, yes.” Jared nodded. “But not forever. Jensen, do you expect to do this all your life and never settle down? I love hacking just as much but we can’t do this all our lives.”_

_“Why not?” Jensen snapped in that moment. “This is what I do, Jared. I’m not going to change that. You can choose your normal life but that doesn’t mean I have to.”_

“No…” _Jared repeated, slowly. “You don’t have to, but you can_ choose _to. You can choose to not put yourself at risk and eventually just... be with me.” Was that really going to be their lifes forever?  Was Jensen never going to stop for them to be together like a more normal couple? What about getting married? Or having kids? Not that Jared was thinking about it that ahead of time, but he would have liked for them to at least have the option. Was it going to be them moving to a new place every other month, never using their real names, never stopping to enjoy what they had and just be together?_

_“I can’t do that. You know who I am Jared and you know this is what I do.”_

_Jensen’s answer brought hot tears to Jared’s eyes immediately._ Jensen couldn’t do that.

_“Why not?”_

_Why couldn’t Jensen stop someday? Jared was not trying to change Jensen, he was not trying to make him forget his own dreams to fulfill Jared’s. He didn’t want that. He only wanted Jensen safe, by his side. He wanted Jensen to not risk his life every day. He didn’t want Jensen gone more time that he was around._

_But Jensen couldn’t choose that. And he never would._

_Why?_

_That’s when it hit Jared. In the middle of their perfect rented apartment, with his college applications waiting for him on the coffee table and Jensen standing in front of him, declaring he couldn’t and would  never stop doing what he did for them to be together._

_“Oh God, I’m such an idiot.” Jared almost laughed then, covering his mouth and trying to blink the tears away. “I know why.” And maybe he had always known but tried to never think about it. “It’s because I’m not enough.”_

_“What?” Jensen eyes widened and then he frowned, giving a step closer to Jared. “Jay, wait, don’t say that—”_

_“You won’t choose me over your job, would you, Jensen?” It hurt to say it out loud much more than he expected. “Look at me and tell me you would choose me over going out there to do what you do. Tell me you would choose me, choose_ us _. That you would eventually stop it all for us to be together, in peace, and happy.”_

_And Jensen just stood there. Frozen in place like he had never consider the possibility of choosing between Jared and being a thief. Not that Jared wanted him to choose but, God, it was almost unbearable to know Jared was not as important in Jensen’s life._

_Jared was pretty close to the top in Jensen’s list, but being a thief would always beat the rest and come first.  Even before them getting together._

_Jared had been blind all along._

_“You can’t answer and you know why.” Jared looked down, letting out a shaky breath as he tried to not start crying. “I’m not enough. You would rather choose to be a thief than choose to be with me.”_

_His lower lip started trembling and Jared hated himself. Hated himself for not seeing it before, for not realizing that maybe getting a happy ever after with Jensen wasn’t possible. Jensen had expected them to do this the rest of their lives, while Jared had wanted an eventual future with a little more normal life. He had wanted a house and a job in between hacking gigs, perhaps. He had wanted to be able to use his real name and get married, go out on vacations, take a break with Jensen for them to enjoy nothing but each other._

_But that wasn’t Jensen’s ideal life. And they had never stopped to think that, both convinced it would work out no matter what, when in reality they had wanted very different things since the start._

_“I’m not choosing anything! Why can’t I be a thief who is also with you? Why do you want me to pick one or the other?” Jensen was getting just as desperate as Jared by that point._

_“Because eventually you’ll have to! Because eventually we would have to make a choice for our future and we better know what to expect from the other!”_

_“You are the one choosing! You are choosing the normal life, you want your degree and getting a job and living a life I’m not picking for myself!” Jensen said, slowly but stern, voice raising again. “I didn’t ask for it and I’m sure as hell not taking it! And you can’t make me give up what I want for my own life!”_

_“Well that’s the life I’m making for myself!” It’s the life Jared had never thought he could get, coming from where he did. He wasn’t going to quit hacking forever but he just wanted some normality in between. He had had a taste of the crazy life Jensen lived and enjoyed every bit of it. But then he discovered he wanted something more, something that allowed them to be together and happy without the fear of losing each other._

_“Then it seems we’re choosing very different paths that don’t work out together at all.”_

_Jared stopped, heart thumping out of control in his chest after he heard Jensen. So far it seemed like they were meant to be, clicking since the start. They had fallen into place since the first time they were together. It was what makes them special, was what made them be perfect for each other. They had always worked together, no matter what._

_But it looked like they had reached a point where they couldn’t work together anymore._

_“Maybe you’re right,” Jared said through his teeth. “Maybe is time for us to realize we’re not meant to be together for everything. “_

_Jensen was visibly surprised with Jared’s answer, setting his jaw._

_“Are you serious?”_

_“You can’t choose between being together and being a thief.” Jared bit down a sob. “Image my fucking surprise.”_

_“After all we have been through, you want to make me choose so you can have your normal life.” Jensen huffed, nostrils flaring. “I didn’t ask for this, Jared.”_

_“Well good for you, because I’m giving you a way out.”_

_After all the time they had been together, Jared couldn’t read Jensen’s expression at all. He stood there, looking at Jared like he didn’t know him, like this was the very first time they saw each other._

_It wasn’t the Jensen Jared knew standing in front of him and it broke him inside._

_After a long pause Jensen just let out a huff, shaking his head but not moving an inch._

_“Fine.” Jared hissed. He couldn't contain the tears anymore but he didn't want to cry in front of Jensen. “Do whatever you want to do. I don’t care anymore.”_

_He turned on his heels and stormed into their room, closing the door of their bathroom harshly and leaning against it. Jared covered his mouth to drown his own sobs, eyes getting blurry because of the tears. He didn’t move, standing against the door, and he could almost hear himself begging for Jensen to come looking for him. For them to talk it out, to make it work like always. They could make it work, they always did._ It was the two of them against the world.

_For a long, agonizing moment, Jared prayed and hoped Jensen would choose him, that he would walk to the bathroom and ask Jared to let him in so they could talk._

_He hoped Jensen could see him as his first choice._

_After a long silence, he heard the main door closing shut instead._

_And Jared waited and waited and_ waited _. He stayed right there in the bathroom, sitting next to the door with his head pressed against it. Jared cleaned his tears every time he felt them slide down his nose and drip on his clothes, hoping Jensen would come back looking for him. Looking to solve things out and choose them over everything just like Jared would do._

_Five hours sitting there alone made Jared realize that Jensen had already made his choice._

 

 

_—_

 

“Jared!”

He blinks and looks around, turning to find Jensen next to him, hand on his shoulder.

Apparently Jensen has been calling him for a while without getting any answers. All Jared has been doing for the past thirty minutes is sit on a chair close to one of the living room’s windows and stare at nothing, simply thinking. _Remembering_. The images of the day they broke up have been flashing in his brain every now and then, especially after last night. Hearing Jensen’s side of the story of how he dealt with them being over has made his brain want to remember how it all went downhill.

“Ready?” Jensen asks, eyeing Jared curiously, who nods in return, still a little bit distracted as he tries to dissolve the memories floating in his head.

It was awkward after coming back from having dinner. They ended sharing a bed, as expected, but it was big enough for both of them to not even touch if they stayed on their sides. Jensen was quieter after all they talked about in the restaurant, going to sleep before Jared did and not making any of his usual jokes or teasing Jared about them sleeping together.

They go out to have breakfast as Jared tries to force himself to stop thinking about the past, already planning what they might need for that night. Suits, for starters.

They are going to a fairly fancy party so they need to look like they belong in there. So, when they are done eating, Jensen hands Jared a ridiculous amount of money and tells him to buy whatever he wants.

They decide split up after that. Jensen says he needed to do some digging around before going to the party, probably to try and get more information of the owner of the mansion they are going to crash that night. Jared doesn’t protest, it looks like Jensen wants to have time alone after spilling so many details of how he dealt with the heartbreak of breaking up.

Part of Jared wants some space apart too so he can deal with all that new information.  

He ends up buying a suit that seems like a waste of money. It looks great but it’s just too much money for clothes. Italy has, of course, the best fashion designers, but _damn_ are they expensive. Jensen told him to go to this place called _Ermenegildo Zegna_ —apparently that’s where he got his own suit from—and, as expected, is the most money Jared ever spent on a tuxedo.

He makes it back to the apartment before Jensen, right after getting something for lunch. Jared decides to use the time to look for the map of the place they are going to, as promised, trying to find as many details of the perimeter and the security as possible before they go in.

Opening the laptop Chad gave him and starting to work on something that has always been so familiar for Jared feels almost like coming back home. Before he can help himself Jared is drinking a beer and listening to Pearl Jam while hacking into the files of the architect who designed the mansion they will be visiting that night.

By five in the afternoon Jared has everything ready. He takes a shower and finds Jensen sitting in their room when he comes out, still not wearing the suit they will be sporting that night for their job.

“I’ll go next.” Jensen closes what seems to be an old book and leaves it on the table. Based on the title, Jared knows it’s all in Italian. Maybe Jensen decided to make a stop at the library on his time alone. “Get your suit on, your majesty, we’ll leave to our fancy party in about an hour.”

He winks at Jared when he walks past him and gets in the bathroom. Jared almost lets out a sigh of relief a second later. Jensen seems much more like himself now.

Thirty minutes later, Jared is sitting down in the same chair in the living room where he was that morning, looking down at his expensive shoes, distracted. That’s when Jensen makes his grand entrance, taking Jared by such surprise that he has to set his jaw to not let his mouth hang open.

“H-Hey,” Jared stutters, shaking his head. “Ready?”

Oh, Jensen looks more than ready.

Jared was too surprised at his engagement party to really stop and appreciate the view that was Jensen in a suit. But now, with Jensen standing in front of him, Jared can really stop and _stare_. He had almost forgotten that back in the day he loved the jobs where they had to dress up because Jensen always looked too damn good in a tuxedo.

To make it even better, Jensen hasn’t been shaving in the last days, which gives him a light stubble that just works perfectly with the whole look. It’s like he walked out of a Gucci magazine, the bastard.

“You look really good dressed like that.”

Jared widens his eyes, surprised to be the one receiving the compliments when Jensen is the one who looks like _that_. The hair, the scruff, the fucking tux. _Like an improved version of the James Bond of Jared’s wet dreams._

“Uh,” Jared scratches the back of his neck, face starting to heat up. He thinks he looks fine but Jensen is on another level, come on. Jared couldn’t even make his hair look a bit less messy. He tried to slick it back but it was no working around it. As soon as it dried up it looked just as always. “T-Thanks, you also— you know. _Good_. You look good.”

“You should wear suits way more often than your ugly clothes.” Jensen comments with a smile, hands on his pockets.

Jared huffs an offended _“I dress just fine”_ as he stands up.

Jensen suddenly walks around him, catching Jared by surprise. He stops after circling around Jared three times, looking up and down at him like he’s examining him or something.

“Definitely should wear suits more often,” Jensen repeats with an approving nod. “You also looked good at your engagement party, by the way. Do you know how I spotted you in the crowd that night?” He asks over Jared’s shoulder, walking back to the room. “Just had to see you walk. I would recognize your pretty ass anywhere, Jared.”

“Fuck off.” Jared groans, following Jensen into the room while the blush on his cheeks grow bigger, half of his blood in his head by that point.

 _Stupid Jensen with his stupid comments._ Jared can almost feel a smile tugging at the corner of his lip.

“I have everything ready, got the maps of the place and the type of security they have. And I also know where I can put the glitch that will deactivate the system and give you one minute to change the Eggs before the lights turn back on.” Jared starts explaining, being all business now. Maybe that will take away the embarrassment and growing enjoyment of Jensen’s compliments. “I’m not sure if they will have heat detectors close to the damn thing, thought, I’ll let you know when we get there. You know those usually activate before the light is back on so you’ll have to be careful or— what are you doing?”

Jensen is standing in front of him all of sudden, one hand extended towards him like he’s about to ask him to slow dance or something. Jared arches one eyebrow, looking from Jensen’s open palm to his face, waiting for an explanation.

“Give me your hand.” It’s all Jensen says after a pause.  

“What? Jensen, stop playing around—”

“Give me your hand. We’re going to pretend to be a couple tonight, all the invitations indicate to bring someone. So, I’m bringing you.” Jensen repeats the hand motion, leaving his open palm in front of Jared once more. “Give me your hand, Jay.”

It’s like the nickname works like a charm.

Jared starts extending his right hand almost immediately, still not understanding what Jensen wants but doing it anyway. Jensen clicks his tongue and shakes his head, mumbling _“the other one.”_ Jared does as Jensen wants, leaving his left hand over Jensen’s palm.

Jensen turns Jared’s hand around then, leaving the diamonds of Jared’s engagement ring on display. _All it takes is a blink_. One moment the ring is there and the next one Jensen is sliding it out and putting it away. _Damn pickpocketer_. Jared is ready to argue, but Jensen slides a different ring around Jared’s finger before he can say anything.

It’s new and shiny band, no diamonds on it. It’s plain and simple but still looks fancy enough to work out.

But this one not an _engagement_ ring, though.

“We’re supposed to be married tonight.” Jensen indicates, letting go of Jared and showing his left hand, where he has a matching ring of his own.

Jared opens and closes his mouth, like a fish trying to breathe out of the water. He’s not sure what to say or on which part of this he should focus on. Jensen never said they were going to get in the party pretending to be a _couple_. He said nothing about being _fake married._

 _When did he even get the rings? Today when they were alone?_ Besides, the band fits perfectly around Jared’s finger, _how can Jensen know which size to get?_ There are too many questions that keep popping in Jared’s head. _Why isn’t Jared asking Jensen to give him back his real ring?_

Why did Jensen take it off himself and then put the new ring on Jared’s finger instead of just throwing it at him and telling Jared to put it on?

Why did he had to make it look—somehow— _official?_

Jared heart wants to bust out of his chest when he thinks of the look in Jensen’s face while he was sliding the new ring— _Jensen’s_ ring, fake or not—around his finger.

There are so many questions Jared has in that moment, but with everything going down that night, Jared prefers to shut up and play along.  

 

 

_—_

 

 

They get to the party in a rented limousine because, _hey_ , they have to look legit in front of all the guests. They can’t raise any suspicions that could make guests point to them whenever the old guy they are going to take the Egg from realizes it’s been stolen. Or worse: get people feeling suspicious about them _before_ they even get the damn thing.

Jared and Jensen have to look like any other rich couple in there.

Once they step out and in front of the ridiculously big Italian mansion and start walking towards the entry along with all the other guests, Jensen offers him his hand. Jared looks at it like it’s going to bite him, not entire convinced.

“Oh, would you give it a rest?” Jensen rolls his eyes, taking Jared’s hand on his own and tangling their fingers together. “We’re supposed to be a recently married and incredibly happy couple, _sweetheart_.”

“Don’t call me that.” Jared groans and Jensen laughs, leaning in to press a kiss to Jared’s cheek, making him hold his breath and look away immediately. Jared would smack Jensen if there weren’t guests around them already.

When they are close enough to the door to spot a guy also dressed up and checking the invitations, Jensen bumps into a couple walking in front of them, making the guy trip and fall to the ground.

Pretending a great deal of embarrassment, Jensen offers his hand and helps the guy to get back on his feet, apologizing and asking if he’s okay. Jensen pats the guy on the back and says he’ll pay for the suit if he made the guy stain it when he fell down, but the man repeats it’s not a big deal and shakes Jensen hands when he offers an apology for the third time.

Then, turning to the girl and the man’s companion, Jensen smiles and asks if she’s alright. Jared can almost see Jensen activating his goddamned charm on her in that moment and Jared huffs, crossing his arms and almost wanting to turn around to keep walking without Jensen.

The girl smiles back and bats her eyelashes, assuring Jensen she’s perfectly fine. Jensen holds her right hand at the same time he takes out a handkerchief from his back pocket, carefully cleaning some drops of dirt that ended on the girl’s white gloves when her husband fell down.

“Have a good night.” Jensen smiles when the couple starts walking ahead of them. “And once again, I’m really sorry! Enjoy the party!”

The girl turns her head one last time, smiling and waving a little too enthusiastically at Jensen. Jared rolls his eyes, wanting to gag.

“Are you done with your little show?” He asks, a little bitterly, knowing it was all a big parade so Jensen could take the invitation from the guy’s jacket at some point. In all honestly, not even Jared saw the moment Jensen took possession of the invitation, but he’s still sure Jensen did it. “Show me.”

“My, my. Feeling jealous, _baby?_ ” Jensen smirks, taking the golden invitation from the inside pocket of his own jacket to flash it to Jared. “You’re the one who doesn’t want to hold my hand. Not my fault she’s much more on board with the idea.”

“Shut up, you wish.” Jared’s not jealous. Jensen can go and hold all of Italy’s hand if he fucking wants to. Jared only has a problem with how ridiculous and fake Jensen behaves when he puts on his _nice act_ , that’s all. It’s because it’s embarrassing that it annoys Jared, not because Jensen decided to be a perfect gentleman to some girl who also seemed to like Jensen back just as much. _Pft, whatever_. Jared _really_ doesn’t care. “Let’s go before you try to hit on all the women coming here tonight.”

Jensen’s smirk grows bigger but he doesn’t say anything else, offering his hand to Jared again.

This time, Jared holds Jensen’s hand in return and makes sure to lace their fingers together as they were doing before they bumped into that couple.

And if Jared squeezes Jensen’s hand a little too tight when they catch up with the other couple? Well, nobody has to know if that’s the case. Jensen certainly doesn’t notice it. Not even when Jared makes eye contact with the woman and gives her a tiny smug when she notices they are holding hands.

This can stay between him and the clearly angered lady.

Once they get in, things seem to work out smoothly.

Considering all they had done before, this isn’t an extremely complicated job to do. Jared hasn’t been active as a hacker for a while though, which could somehow get in the way. But as the night goes by, they both discovering that just as it was before, falling back into working together is natural for them.

No matter how much time passes, it’s like they can always go back to what they used to be.

What Jared finds more difficult is pretending to be a couple in front of so many people. Back in the day it was extremely easy, they were a real couple after all, so holding hands, kissing and acting like they were dating was not an act at all.

Right now it messes with Jared’s head, hearing Jensen call him sweet names and lean in to kiss his cheek every now and then. Sometimes Jensen uses the closeness to whisper Jared about security guards around the room or little changes in their plan, but otherwise he just acts extremely intimate with Jared with the excuse to keep pretending in front of everyone else.

There is even a horrifying moment where a waltz song starts playing and Jensen actually asks Jared out to dance.

“But honey—” Jared says with a fake smile, talking through his teeth as Jensen lightly pulls his hand. The couples they have been talking to are staring at them. Jared is going to _murder_ him. “You know I can’t dance.”

“And you know I’m great at guiding you, baby.”

Jensen holds Jared’s right hand out and brings it up until he can press a kiss on it, looking at Jared in the eye.

It’s like his brain explodes and blacks out after that. Just like Jared thought before, if there’s something he can’t handle is Jensen’s _true_ charm and sweetness. It might as well kill Jared on the spot.

Resisting after such romantic gesture seems pointless, so Jared simply stutters for all answer, still trying to hold onto his annoyance at Jensen for making them do something they don’t _have_ to. But is useless, Jared knows it won’t last. He can never stay mad at Jensen for too long.

Especially when he’s being so stupid sweet.

Jensen walks him to the dance floor while Jared thinks how bad he is at this. He wasn’t joking and Jensen knows that. Jared _can’t_ dance.

“Jensen, you know I don’t—”

“Come here.” Jensen uses the hold he has on Jared’s hand to pull him close, not stopping until they are chest-to-chest. He puts his other arm around Jared’s waist and leans in to whisper in Jared’s ear. “Just follow me. Look down at my feet and count the steps. _One, two, three. One, two, three_.”

Before Jared even knows what’s going on, Jensen is dragging him around the dance floor and making him follows his lead. It’s actually not white _dragging_ , but Jared is too nervous about tripping or stepping on Jensen or, you know, _looking like an idiot_ _in front of everybody,_ to find a better word to describe his dancing attempts.

He keeps staring down at Jensen’s feet, trying to keep up with him. Jared moves his feet back whenever Jensen goes forward and then the other way around, but it’s still somehow confusing. And to make it worse, dancing waltz implicates fucking turning and twirling the entire time. Jared has enough trouble dancing on the same spot, let alone making circles all around the room.

Jensen laughs in his ear and Jared looks up, flustered.

“Listen, I-I know I suck b-but you’re the one who—”

He doesn’t get to finish because Jensen uses the hold on his back to press them even closer, still guiding them while they keep slow dancing and turning around the room. Jared steps on Jensen and winces, cursing in his head, but Jensen only uses the moment to press their forehead together, making Jared suddenly forget about how awful he must be doing.

“I forgot how fun it is to do this job with you around.” Jensen smiles at Jared, making it hard for Jared to look away or not stare back into his eyes. “You always know how to make everything better, Jay.”

Before Jared has the chance to process Jensen words, Jensen lets go of Jared’s waist and makes him twirl around by only holding their hands over Jared’s head, to then use that same hold to pull Jared back into his arms and keep dancing.

Jared blinks, a little dizzy, but still letting Jensen guide him.

“Stealing seemed to stop being fun as soon as you weren’t with me anymore.” Jensen sighs, talking casually. Jared has no idea of what to say or do, so he concentrates on following Jensen’s steps. “God, Jared. You really have no idea what you do to me, do you?”

Jared snaps his head back up, heartrate starting to go wild.

The piece of music is over thought, and they are not dancing anymore. Jensen winks at him, bringing Jared’s right hand up to press another kiss to it. Jared can almost feel like his heart skips a beat, right then and there, like he’s in some kind of ridiculous rom-com movie.

And then, the moment is over just as fast as it started, and Jensen is walking him back to their table, holding Jared’s hand the entire time.

Jared knows it’s all an act but now he really doesn’t want to let go. He wants to keep this up, make the fake married parade last a little longer.

But they have to stop for just a moment.

Jensen nods in Jared’s direction when they sit down and Jared knows what Jensen means right away.

_It’s show time._

As expected from some rich guy with a private collection, the _Rosebud_ is exposed at the end of the room for everybody to see. With security all around it too, of course. Guests can only get so close to admire it but nobody can touch it or pass the red lines drawn on the floor.

There are heat detectors around the pedestal where the Fabergé Egg standing up, as Jared expected. Jensen already noticed the security guards have guns, which could complicate this job. They will have to make this quick so nobody suspects a thing.

Jared excuses himself to the bathroom for a moment and then sits by Jensen’s side when he’s back, holding his hand and squeezing it to let him know everything is ready. Jared already hacked in the security system using the tablet now hidden in the inside of his jacket; all he has to do is press a number combination in his phone and everything will go pitch black.

Jensen squeezes Jared’s hand back five minutes later and then the entire room screams and gasps when all the lights in the place go off.

There are yells from the security guards and the host of the party warns his guests with a rather harsh voice to not get close to Rosebud just as Jensen’s hand lets go of Jared.

Two minutes later everything goes back to normal. The main room lights up and everyone looks around in confusion. The alarm is silent, which would have gone off if someone had touched the damn expensive Egg, so that seems to bring some calm to the owner of the place. _Nobody knows Jared also fucked up all the alarms_.

The _Fabergé Egg_ seems to be in place, looking just as shiny and invaluable as ever.

Jensen, once again by Jared’s side and holding his hand like he never let go, gives him a little smile that Jared return. He tries to not stare to the folded coat on Jensen’s lap, knowing there is a historically invaluable object covered in rubies right under it.

All the guests are calmed down when explained it was a small problem with the lights and the host seems to regain his cool when he gets close to the _Rosebud_ and confirms it’s all okay. _Yeah, right_. Jensen laughs into his glass of champagne while playing with Jared’s fingers, giving him a mischievous wink. Jared bites his lip and tries not to laugh, stealing the glass from Jensen and taking some sips too.

They actually stay for a couple more hours before sliding out of the party from one of the back doors that Jared found about after stealing the mansion’s map, trying to hold their laughter the entire time.

They joke and tease on their way back to their rented apartment; Jensen takes off his tie and throws Jared the egg, making Jared freak out for a good second, thinking he’s going to let it fall to the ground. Jared admires the _Fabergé_ up close while Jensen finds a reason to hold his hand again, making a comment about the damn thing being kind of ugly and making Jared cackle out loud.

“Why are you giving it to me? I’ll probably let it fall and break it in a million pieces.”

“Remember the story? The Emperor gave it to the Empress to celebrate they were together.” Jensen shrugs, taking off his coat when he notices Jared rubbing his arms. “Seems kind of fitting for me to give it to you, huh?” Jensen smiles, placing his coat over Jared’s shoulder before holding his hand again.

Jared considers it for a long moment, turning the Fabergé Egg in his hands while throwing little side glances at Jensen and trying to not openly smile.

In the end, he doesn’t comment anything, carefully holding the egg close to himself while he turns his hand around so he can lace their fingers properly.

By his side, Jensen smiles openly while they look at each other. They don’t need to talk, it’s like the words won’t do justice to this moment. So they don’t.

Jensen plays with Jared’s fingers as they walk through the silent streets, talking about how annoying was the couple they were sitting with and then asking Jared how he took out all the sensors.

They explain what each one did, Jared with his hacking and Jensen his pickpocketing, laughing at what a surprise the owner of the egg will get when he notices he has a very much fake Rosebud exposed in front of all his snobby guests.

That leads them to remember and discuss all the other fancy parties they had crashed before, always to do the exact same thing, enjoying the funny memories and stupid mistakes they had also made in some occasions.

When they make it to their apartment Jared is crying from how hard he’s laughing as Jensen repeats the story of the time he ended up covered in food after trying to sneak out through the kitchen after stealing a painting, just to slip and fall face-first in a freshly cooked banquette.

Jared doesn’t remember having such a good time in years. 

“Well, everything was a success, Mr. Padalecki.” Jensen bows down exaggeratedly in front of Jared, who giggles in return. “And now I’ll call our client to tell them we have his ugly ass egg.” Jared laughs harder but then shuts right up as Jensen brings his right hand up for the third time that night, pressing a soft kiss to the back of it before winking at Jared. “Thank you for tonight, Jay.”

Jensen turns on his heels, leaving the room to go talk in the living room, leaving Jared alone to change into more comfortable clothes or perhaps take a shower. Jared sighs contently, walking to the bed and sit down.

It’s almost weird to feel the way he does. Jared hasn’t experiences this feeling in years.

_The absolute joy of doing this with Jensen has no comparison._

Grinning like a mad man, Jared stares down at the fake ring Jensen gave him that night. He should probably take it off and ask Jensen to give him back the engagement one, but deep down, Jared knows he doesn’t want to.

Jared is not an idiot, he knows exactly why he and Jensen split up. As much as they seemed to be perfect for each other, what they wanted for their lives was too different to make things work out. They never had the same expectations for a future together and that eventually was too much to ignore.

Breaking up with Jensen broke Jared’s heart beyond repair, something that Stephen could somehow help with once they meet, but never completely heal.

At this point, Jared’s is not sure if he ever stopped feeling the way he did for Jensen.

Maybe the same feelings have always been there but he has been trying to hide them by not allowing himself to think about Jensen or their past together, too scared to realize he would never move on or get over him.

Perhaps Jared has been trying almost desperately to make himself fall in love with Stephen when he has never truly stopped loving Jensen.

 

 

—

 

 

They are on a train to France early in the next morning.

That’s where their unusual client wants Jensen to hand him the damn egg they stole the night before and both Jared and Jensen are fine with it. Leaving a city right after stealing something valuable is always a good idea.

They joke and play around the entire trip, and it’s a _long_ trip. Almost ten hours in which they both sleep, eat lunch and discuss what they have been doing the last years. It’s a light conversation, never delving into romantic relationships or other details that can end up ruining the mood.

Jensen is quite surprised to find Jared studied to be a lawyer instead of an engineer once is Jared’s turn to talk about college.

“A lawyer so you could finally get me in jail?” He jokes, making Jared throw one of the candies he has been eating to Jensen’s face. And Jensen, being him, only catches it with his mouth and then smiles.

“Showoff.”

“You love it. And me.”

Jared shrugs, pretending to think about it. “Who knows, maybe I do.”

It might be a joke and light teasing, but it still leaves Jensen in the best mood for the rest of their trip.

They have a cabin with two beds in the train, and they make sure to buy a good amount of food from the dining cart. Jared uses the laptop that Chad gave them to download movies so they won’t be that bored, yet Jensen ends up falling asleep in the middle of the second one, head on Jared’s shoulder.

All Jared does is move him around so Jensen can end up lying on his lap and be more comfortable.

When they finally make it to Paris, Jared is less exhausted than when they made it to Florence. Sleeping for a good amount of hours and being much less stressed are big factors that help with it. Jensen, on his part, seems to be really happy since the night before.

This time they are staying at a hotel instead of a renting a place for themselves, using different names, passports and credit cards. The only difference is that the credit card Jensen hands at the reception won’t end giving the hotel any money at the end, but Jared doesn’t care in this situation. No hotel is going bankrupt for one costumer skipping the bill.

“We have a room with a single king bed.” Jensen explains after being done at the counter, handing a copy of the key card to Jared, who raises one eyebrow suspiciously. “What? They didn't have other rooms available so we’ll have to share beds again.”

Jared has a feeling that if he went and asked the girl in charge she would probably tell him that they actually have many rooms with two queens available. But he doesn’t want to do that.

Weirdly enough, the idea of sharing a bed with Jensen once again almost cheers him up. Jared _wants_ the closeness he has been feeling in the last days.

“Alright,” Jared shrugs and Jensen looks surprised he bought into his bullshit excuse. “Hey, if they don’t have anything else we’ll just have to go along with it, right?”

Jensen eyes Jared for long moment, almost unconvinced that Jared believes his terrible lie. In all honestly, Jensen can lie way better than that.

But all Jensen does is smile and offer to carry Jared’s bags to their room. On their way there Jared becomes aware that Jensen most likely realized that Jared _wanted_ them to share a bed just as much and that’s why he didn’t call him out on his bullshit.

Instead of embarrassed, Jared’s almost glad he won’t have to give explanations that night when he has no problems getting in the same bed with Jensen, the complete opposite of how he behaved back at Florence.

After unpacking, Jared let’s himself fall on the considerably big bed, staring at the open window. Even if traveling on the train wasn’t that bad, it couldn’t be compared to resting in a real bed a comfortable real room.

They aren’t staying anywhere too fancy or expensive, so the hotel is no _Ritz_ nor _Crillon_ —that they could easily afford with what they are getting paid after their hit last night—because getting cocky and wasting ridiculous amounts of money after doing a job is how bad thieves get caught. You have to go low key the next days for simple precaution, no matter how good you are. So Jensen picked a random hotel from a list in a pamphlet they got back in Italy before taking the train and that’s how they ended staying at the _New Orient Hotel_ , a small traditional building that is five minutes away from the _Saint-Lazare_ station.

Jared lets out a content sigh, enjoying the view of the architecture outside their hotel window. He knows they will probably leave again as soon as they hand the _Fabergé Egg_ to the client—another bad idea is to stay in the same city after making illegal business—but Jared wishes they could stay a little bit longer than that. He has always liked coming to France, yet he and Jensen never stayed for long vacations here. It was always a couple free days between jobs.

Jensen comes back to their room after a while, closing the door behind him, cell phone still in his hand. That makes Jared remember he hasn’t charged his phone at all, but he knows he will break and read the texts Stephen had sent him and then try to call the Amell family to tell go to the police to stay safe. And that might fuck up everything. The less contact they have, the less danger the Amell family is in.

“Ready?”

The question takes Jared by surprise, who sits back up on the bed and arches an eyebrow.

“We’re going out?”

Jensen puts the phone back in his pocket, mumbling and _“Of course”_ in such an obvious tone it almost makes Jared feel silly. _Oh_. Of course, Jensen was probably talking with the client. Jared would also be anxious to get his hands on such an expensive and historically important object if he paid a shit ton of money to get it. The guy probably told Jensen he wanted the Egg _now_.

“Yeah, alright.” Jared stands up, looking at himself and thinking maybe he should change. They had already changed clothes in the train but maybe what he’s wearing is not the best choice. “Should I change?”

Jensen squints, bringing one hand to his chin while he pretends to study Jared’s outfit.

“Well, I think you look perfect,” he finally says, shrugging, like there’s nothing else to discuss about the topic. “But I might be a little biased. I always think you look perfect.”

Jared smiles, letting out a little embarrassed laugh as he stares down and tucks some of his hair behind his ear. The familiarity of the comfort and joy that comes from Jensen’s praises suddenly hits him. All Jensen needed to do back then was praise or compliment Jared to have him beaming in delight, and it seems like not much has changed since then.

Tapping Jared’s chin, Jensen makes him look up before taking Jared’s hand to walk him out of the room and Jared goes along, making sure to lock the door before they leave.

Jensen stops a cab in front of the hotel, handing the driver a piece of paper with an address written on it.

The ride is not too long, but Jared enjoys every second of it, practically acting like a kid as he keeps looking in all directions through the car’s windows, almost plastering himself to the glass when they ride over a bridge that crosses the Seine. Jensen chuckles by his side but let's Jared be, listening intently to all the trivia Jared has about the river and the construction of the different bridges that let cars and people cross over it.

Fifteen minutes later, the cab finally stops in front of a a street called _rue Jean de Beauvais_ and Jensen holds his hand out again when Jared steps out of the car, helping him and keeping their hands locked together as he leads the way down the street.

“Did you bring the Rosebud?” Jared inquiries once the cab takes off and they are alone again. Jensen shoots him a confused look.

 _“The Fabergé Egg?_ I left it hidden under a loose piece of wood on the floor in our bathroom. Why would I bring it around?”

Jared shakes his head, not following along. “Aren’t we here to give it to your client?”

Jensen snorts, pulling Jared by his hand. “No fucking way, we’re not here for that. We're here for _this_.”

He keeps pulling Jared towards the end of the street, pointing a small restaurant with white tables and chairs out on the sidewalk. Squinting at the name carved on wood, Jared tries to read it in his head to not sound silly by pronouncing it out loud when he doesn’t know a single word in French. _Le Coupe Chou._

“What? You didn’t really think I would bring you all the way to Europe and not take you to a romantic place just to have dinner, right? No business, no jobs. Just... _us_.” Jensen explains with a little smile, squeezing Jared’s hand.

That’s exactly what Jared thought when they went to have lunch in Florence. _That’s what he wanted._ A romantic moment in a romantic place. But he also thought he could never have that now, yet Jensen is proving him wrong.

He’s the one who knows Jared more than anyone. Of course Jensen would know what Jared wants without him needing to open his mouth to ask for it.

Jensen _always_ knows.

There’s a pattern in the places Jensen picks for them to eat and Jared is starting to nice. _Small, cozy, romantic_. Exactly the type of spots Jared would fan over during romantic movies or really enjoy during a date.

Jensen lets Jared pick if he wants a table inside or outside the restaurant, explaining that he made a call and reserved both options so Jared could have whichever he wanted. So _that’s_ the call he was making outside of their room, Jared thinks, almost beaming at how thoughtful that is. Jensen wasn’t talking to the guy they stole the Egg for but making dinner reservations for them.

The weather is nice enough and Jared has always liked the views and streets of Paris, so he chooses to eat outside, realizing he made the best choice when Jensen offers to give him his jacket if it gets too cold.

They order food and wine and don’t seem to be able to have more fun than this.

The reason why they could spend so much time together years ago is because they had this weird chemistry, where no matter what they were doing or what they were talking about, they always had fun. They could spend all year round together and never get tired of each other’s company, even more, they dreaded having to be apart.

Jared hasn’t forgotten how there’s not a single person on earth he would rather be with. _Him and Jensen?_ They just work out perfectly.

“Maybe we could both retire, put a wine company together.” Jensen says as he plays with his glass, bringing it close to smell the red wine. “We would be good at it.”

Jared laughs, drinking from his own glass and stealing some food from Jensen's plate. They have been chatting and joking for almost an hour now. The night is flying by when Jared really wants this to last forever.

“Come on, it’s you, Jensen. _You_ would _never_ retire.”

“I don’t know, that was before.” Jensen hums and he sounds distracted for a moment. “I’m not a kid anymore. Not like other brats present in this table” He adds, pointedly looking at Jared, who kicks him under the table for his troubles. “But, I’m serious. I don’t want what young thieves want anymore, I don’t think the same as before. Things have changed.”

Jensen says it all while keeping eye contact with Jared, voice deep and serious. They both know what Jensen is talking about, there’s no way to pretend around that statement. What Jensen wants _now_ is different from what he wanted _back then_.

Jared feels his breathing sped up as he grips his glass of wine a little harder, palms starting to sweat.

_What does Jensen want, then?_

“Is that so?” Jared whispers, his curiosity killing any kind of self-refrain. “What has changed?”

“Everything.” Jensen replies, like it’s the most obvious thing on earth. “For example? You not wearing your engagement ring anymore, even after I gave it back to you in Florence.”

It’s a comment Jared did not see coming. He swallows and looks down to the hand wrapped around the glass, the missing ring almost screaming volumes. It was stupid to think that someone like Jensen wouldn’t notice the missing band with diamonds. He’s Jared ex-boyfriend _and_ he’s a thief. Jensen takes notice in that kind of things: diamonds, jewelry, things of value he can make magically disappear.

But this time it wasn’t Jensen the one who removed the ring from Jared’s hand. Jared himself did it. After Jensen gave it back in Italy and Jared had to—sadly—take off their fake marriage ring, he only put on the engagement one for a couple seconds before slipping it off and leaving it somewhere in his wallet.

It didn’t feel right anymore. Like it didn’t belong to him.

Or like it was the wrong ring.

Jared used to feel weird whenever he glanced down at the engagement ring before all this started but now he can’t even put it on.

“Why, Jared?” Jensen insist, leaving the glass of wine over the table and leaning forward. “Why aren’t you wearing your engagement ring anymore? You didn’t have it during the train ride either.”

 _Why indeed._ That could easily be the million dollar question. Why did Jared take it off? Why did he hated letting go of the fake ring more than the real one? Why would Jared accept to work with Jensen again after so many years? Why not fight against coming all the way to Europe and do all the things they have been doing together, from sharing beds to pretending to be a married couple?

Why he even left his engagement party with Jensen instead of going to Stephen and asking to call the police?

_Why Jensen over Stephen._

“I-I...I just—” Jared stutters, not knowing how to answer any of the questions to himself and even less how to answer them to Jensen. Knowing _why_ would solve everything as much as it would mess it all up once again. The ignorance of that _why_ is what is keeping everything together and allowing both of them to tip-toeing around the huge elephant in the room.

The _why_ is that elephant. Poking it for answers might provoke waking it up and starting something Jared and Jensen will not be able fix again.

“Jensen, I…I’m—”

He looks down, avoiding Jensen’s eyes and all the questions that keep appearing in his head. Jared could say he doesn’t have a clear answer in that moment but it would be bullshit. Jared _knows_ but he’s pretending he doesn’t.

Because he’s scared of his own answer.

One of Jensen’s hand suddenly touching Jared’s startles him, making Jared jump on his seat and look back up. He’s worried Jensen might be angry or frustrated that Jared can’t bring himself to answer, but instead, Jensen is staring at him with such intensity it leaves Jared’s loud brain full of questions completely blank for a moment.

Jensen is not mad, he’s looking at Jared like he wants to protect him.

“You don’t have to tell me now. You don’t have to answer me _at all_ if you don’t want to,” He explains, lightly stroking Jared’s skin. “I couldn’t help myself from asking. I wanted to make comments about your missing ring _so_ bad since I saw you without it, I had to bite my tongue and hold myself from smiling like an asshole the whole train ride.” Jensen bites his lower lip then and sighs. “But it’s not fair to put you in the spotlight like that.”

“I-I’m sorry.” Is all Jared can bring himself to stutter, not sure for what part he’s apologizing for exactly, but Jensen shakes his head in return.

“Don’t be. I’m the one asking so hopefully you will say what I keep wishing for since the moment I found out you were engaged.”

They finish eating in silence and Jensen pays for their meal, giving Jared his jacket as promised since it’s starting to get colder than when they arrived. Jared has been repeating to himself the last thing Jensen said before, trying to somehow find out what is that Jensen has been wishing for.

What did he exactly hope for Jared to answer? There could be many options but Jared is not certain yet.

Even with their half-finished conversation and awkwardness that followed it, Jensen still offers his hand again and Jared takes it immediately.

They walk down the same street they came from and stop for a moment in front of a little park close by, walking around it while holding hands without saying a word. They both have too many things in their heads.

Jared’s the one who ends breaking the silence.

“Why do you want to know?” He turns the question around, stopping in the middle of their walk so Jensen will look at him. “Why does it matter?” Ring or not, how does it affect Jensen at all?

Jensen’s lips curve into a little smile, and it’s not the cocky smile Jared has seen this entire trip. It’s not the overconfident thief smile or the charming gentleman smile. It’s pure Jensen, the smile Jared remembers more than anything. _The real deal._

“Isn’t it obvious?” Jensen whispers, bringing his other hand up to brush some of Jared’s bangs out of his face carefully. “Don’t you see what I’m trying to do here, Jared? What I have been doing all along? Going to look for you, bringing you with me to Europe. I want to protect you from Pellegrino, of course, but that’s not all. Don’t you see it, Jared?”

_He does._

Jared would have to be blind at this point not to. There’s no way Jared cannot see what’s been going on not only with Jensen but also with himself. He’s scared to death of all the questions in his head and the weight in his heart that have been following him around since the moment he and Jensen broke up years ago.

He’s utterly scared and that’s why he doesn’t want to face it.

But Jared does see it. Not only in Jensen but also in himself, too.

And looking back into Jensen’s face in that moment, he can’t pretend to not see it anymore.

Jared lets go of Jensen and brings both hands up, cupping Jensen’s face so he can pull him into a kiss. He closes his eyes and presses their lips together, touch as welcoming as the feeling of coming back home after a long time wandering around completely lost.

His memory didn’t give justice to how it felt to kiss Jensen, Jared had almost forgotten the sensation of pure happiness it could ignite inside of him whenever it happened.

Yet the initial sparks are nothing compared to the sensation that explodes all over and around Jared when Jensen puts both arms around his lower back and locks them together, kissing Jared back.

It’s been too damn long, but it feels just as right as always.

Jensen seems to remember Jared likes to do this slow, taking his time with the kiss. He opens his lips lightly, asking for permission Jared is more than willing to give, opening his mouth and sighing contently when he feels Jensen’s tongue touch his lips. Jared could stay glued to the same spot for the rest of his life and make out with Jensen until the end of times.

Just the two of them against the world. _This_ is what’s right.

 _Him and Jensen_. Anything else Jared has been trying to kid himself into could never compare.

They pull apart to breath after what feels like hours but was probably a couple minutes, looking at each other with identical smiles. Jensen leans forward, pressing his lips to Jared’s forehead and keeping one arm around Jared’s back.

As they walk back to the hotel while looking for a cab, Jared seems to realize that they are still not done discussing or answering all the questions left behind. It’s like they are taking a mutual break to enjoy each other before they have to confront everything else. It might not be the healthiest thing to do, but at this point it seems like they both need it more than anything.

And Jared will take it. Anything that can make Jensen look at him the way he’s doing right now, anything that will keep Jensen holding him close and pressing kisses to his face every now and then as they walk.

Jared will take anything he can get with Jensen before he has to go back to reality.

That night they don’t do anything else besides making out, drawing an invisible line they can’t cross until they talk about the parts they are deciding to ignore for now. But it’s a start, at least they are somehow admitting how they feel.

And as Jared thought before, _anything_ with Jensen is enough to make him happy at this point.

Jensen curls behind him in their shared bed, spooning him. He presses his chin to Jared’s shoulder as he holds him around his waist, pressing kisses to Jared’s neck and whispering into his ear. Jared squeezes his eyes shut, a smile on his face, and wishes the night didn’t have to end.

All Jared always wanted was to _belong_ and he only feels like he’s part of something whenever he finds himself in Jensen’s arms.


	6. Chapter 6

— Chapter 6—

 

 

Waking up how they do the next morning almost feels like a small flashback in Jared’s head. With Jensen wrapped around him and Jared groaning when Jensen insists is time to get out of bed, asking for five more minutes immediately and getting a kiss on his temple in return.

Jared grabs Jensen’s pillow once he’s out of the bed, dragging it close so he can bury his nose in it and breathe in. He can physically feel his own silly smile spreading in his face.

He doesn’t remember sleeping this good in _years_. It was such a nice, deep sleep. Jared wishes it could be like that every night.

Scooting over to lay down on the warm part of the bed where Jensen had been sleeping, Jared nuzzles against the blankets and doses off for another fifteen minutes before he feels someone nudging him and calling his name again.

“Come on, breakfast time.” Jensen pinches Jared’s sides, making Jared squirm and groan softly, trying to hide away between the blankets. “I got all this food and if you don’t wake up I’ll have to eat it alone.”

Jared interest perks up at the mention of food, turning around on the bed so he can open one eye and peek at what Jensen has with him. A tray of food. Jared can spot toasts, eggs, and pancakes. Okay, Jensen won this round.

They both sit in bed, Jensen only in underwear—until Jared nags him enough to go put on something, avoiding to stare too much and throwing a pillow at Jensen when he decides to dress deliberately slow—and Jared wearing boxers and the shirt Jensen had the night before. He got really cold in the middle of the night and maybe looked for Jensen’s shirt on purpose. _Maybe_. There’s no way Jensen can prove it.

“You know, there are so many museums here in France…” Jensen trails off as they eat together.  He steals some grapes from Jared’s bowl of fruit and smiles. “So many things to steal in our free time…”

Jared laughs, shaking his head and throwing his used napkin at Jensen’s head.

“You’re incredible.”

“Is that a no?” Jensen asks with an innocent voice.

“It’s a _maybe_ , but only if you play your cards wisely. Find me something interesting to steal and we will see, Ackles.”

It’s like Jared gave him the best news of his life. Jensen leans forward, pressing a quick kiss to Jared’s lips before moving from the bed, calling dibs on the shower and swearing he’s going to find something _so_ tempting to hack into that Jared will be _begging_ for them to go do it. Jared yells he better not get too cocky beforehand, chuckling and crawling over the bed to take the TV remote from one of the bedside tables.

Jared’s not sure for how long they can keep this little pretend game but so far it’s working perfectly. They just need time to enjoy this before having to face all the shit storm that’s coming behind them.

But perhaps Jared is trying to catch the rain with his hands by doing this.

As he surfs through the channels trying to find something interesting to watch before Jensen is done with the shower—pointedly ignoring Jensen’s yell from the bathroom that invites Jared to join him if he wants to save time and water—Jared suddenly stops when he sees a familiar face pop up on the screen, stomach turning and the sudden need to throw up everything he had for breakfast making him cover his mouth with one hand.

It’s _Stephen_. He’s on the fucking news.

Jared ended up in one of the American channels and Stephen is right there, getting interviewed by someone from CNN. _What the hell is going on?_

Turning the volume up, Jared sits back on the bed and tries to control himself, playing with his fingers nervously as Stephen keeps talking. He’s making a statement about his missing fiancé, telling the story about how _Tristan_ got kidnapped during their engagement party and how the police have been doing anything they can to find him and bring him back home safely.

Swallowing forcefully, Jared feels a clear pinch of guilt as Stephen’s voice gets a little shaky as he stares at the camera when the interviewer tells him to send a message to _Tristan_ , to tell him whatever he wants hoping his fiancé might be able to hear him.

Your typical _“what would you tell your loved one if you could?_ ” that is so often used to cause tears in the viewers.

But all this is doing is causing Jared to have an increasing need to stab himself to death with one of the forks on the empty plates.

_“Tristan, please don’t worry.”_ Stephen whispers, remaining calm. _“We’ll bring you home, you’re going to be okay. I promise I’ll do anything to find you and we’ll get married as soon as you’re here.”_ He takes a deep breath as Jared stares at the screen in silence, self-hatred so big it would crash everything in the room. _“Being away from you made me realize how much I love you and how I can’t bear to live without you. I love you, Tristan. I’ll be waiting for you.”_

The interviewer goes on to ask Stephen more details of what he knows about the kidnap but Jared can’t bring himself to pay any more attention, the world around him starting to spin again after it seemed to stop since the moment he and Jensen stole that Fabergé Egg some nights ago.

What the hell has Jared been doing? What is he thinking?

Jared looks down at his empty hands, focusing on the finger where his engagement ring should be. How can he be spending his days making out with his ex-boyfriend without a care in the world when he has a fiancé back home waiting for him?

With all this mess Stephen ended up thinking Jared is in great danger—that he is with Pellegrino after him, but  he’s _fine_ right now—and has been looking for him. How many nights has Stephen spent awake, worried sick about Jared’s safety, while Jared went out on dates with Jensen without a care for anybody else?

He has never hated himself more. Jared hates what he’s doing, living in his own little bubble and seeing life through pink-tinted glasses. He can’t believe how selfish he has been these past days.

All Jared has done is care about himself when there are people out there too.

_Jesus Christ._ He kissed Jensen when he’s engaged to Stephen.  

His boyfriend proposed in front of everybody during that interview, asked to spend the rest of his life with Jared and what did Jared do in return? _This_. All of this mess.

Jared covers his face, trying to control himself before he has an anxiety attack.

He’s not one to double-team anyone. What is he fucking doing, pretending that he and Jensen can work things out? Did he forget how he ended alone and why he could meet Stephen in the first place? It’s because he and Jensen didn’t work out. Because they weren’t _it_ , not matter how Jared wanted them to.

How much of that has really changed?

It doesn’t matter if it could be different. It’s too late. They can’t. Jared said yes to Stephen and now—

“Jared.”

He looks back up, finding Jensen standing next to the bed, turning his head from Stephen, still on the news, and Jared, who’s frantically rubbing his face and pulling his hair. _This is bad, this is so bad_. Jared looks at Jensen and feels things he shouldn’t feel for anybody but his future husband.

They gave it a chance, a long chance, and it didn’t work out.

What is Jared doing pretending to be able to change the past?

“Jared, just let me—” he can see Jensen’s intentions to get close, probably help him calm down. Jared doesn’t know how much of Stephen’s interview Jensen heard and also doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter. They can’t keep this going anymore.

“Don’t!” It almost comes as a yell as Jared points at Jensen, opening his hand and reaching out to keep their distance. His fingers shakes in front of his face, feelings and reason melting in a war inside of him. “Don’t Jensen. Just— _no_.”

“Please, look at you! It’s like you’re going to have a nervous attack.” Jensen walks up to the TV, turning it off. Jared sees Stephen’s face disappear and that somehow makes it all worse. _The guilt is going to eat Jared alive._ How could he do this to Stephen? He doesn’t deserve this. Jared doesn't deserve him. “This doesn’t have to change anything that happened in the last few days.”

“What?” Jared asks, voice shaky. “Jensen, you can’t be serious. You— yes it does! Yes it fucking does! _Oh my god_ , I can’t believe I did this…Stephen gave me a ring and I—”

“You don’t even want to wear it anymore!” Jensen argues immediately.  “Listen, I feel bad for the guy because I have been in his shoes, but we can’t sit and pretend that what happened yesterday wasn’t real just because you feel guilty—”

“Yes we can!”

The answer leaves Jared’s mouth before he can think it through, nerves and anxiety making everything explode and leaving Jared to work with the poor remains of his brain.

All they have been doing: the flirting, the kissing, behaving like they are still a thing when they aren’t. They can pretend it never happened indeed.

“This is all wrong…” Jared whispers, moving from the bed and almost looking lost. He’s all wrong. He can’t throw everything away for the fantasy that things are going to be different. Jensen said he doesn’t want the same as he did once but how far along can that go? He was joking about retiring, Jared knows him. Jensen would never leave this life.

Not for Jared. He made that clear years ago.

“Playing happy couple of thieves when we haven’t been any of that for a while? We have been lying to ourselves, Jensen.”

“That’s bullshit!” Jensen snaps, clearly angry. “That’s bullshit and you know it, Jared! I know you have been feeling the same way I do!”

“That doesn’t matter! I made a promise to Stephen and he gave me a ring, I can’t throw that away!” Jared can’t throw that away for a fantasy. Jensen won’t give him the life Jared hoped for, right? Isn’t that why it all went to hell last time? Pretending history won’t repeat itself is stupid. Jared has to learn from his mistakes. Living off of a dream life with Jensen is only going to end up fucking them up even worse than the first time. “Don’t you remember what happened to us last time? How bad we ended up? Jensen, we can’t do this! Is all wrong!”

“No it’s not! Stop saying that, don’t say that _this_ is wrong!” Jensen hisses through his teeth, pointing to both of them as his face gets dead serious. He’s beyond angry and frustrated and Jared can see it. “Do not say that _us together_ is wrong.”

“But it is! We gave it a try and look where it left us last time, Jensen!”

Jared can almost see it play like an old movie before his eyes. Sitting in a bathroom alone, cleaning his tears and hoping Jensen would pick him. Waiting for hours, trying to keep any faith Jared had in him, repeating to himself that Jensen was going to come back and choose him. Hoping their love would be enough and Jensen would end picking them over everything else. Because Jared would have picked them.

He would have picked Jensen a thousand times over the rest of the world.

But that was also the day he realized Jensen wouldn’t do that for him. Because Jensen didn’t come back for him, and now it was five years and one engagement too late to try and change that.

“But it doesn’t have to be the same this time, Jared! We are—!”

“We are _nothing!”_ Jared yells, letting the sorrow from the memories of a broken heart eat him alive. He feels angry tears pool in his eyes but he blinks them away, heart constricted with the realization that no matter how bad he wanted him and Jensen to be together, it might never be.

Years and years of missing, hoping and crying seem to detonate all at the same moment. _Jensen left_. He’s the one who chose to walk away and now he can’t make that disappear in the air.

“You broke us, Jensen! What we had is broken because of _you!”_

The cold silence that falls between them is almost as bad as the screaming. They stand there, looking at each other with too many things floating in between them.

All Jared can hear is his own heartbeat in his ears and Jensen’s harsh breathing across the room.

Jensen’s expression is a mixture of frustration and sadness, something that completely snaps Jared’s heart in two. He would have reached over, try to make it all better again, if he could. But Jared can’t. Not anymore. This is a point of no return.

After what feels like a lifetime, Jensen turns his head away, swallowing all he wants to say.

And just like it happened once upon a time five years ago, Jensen grabs his coat from the chair and turns around, walking away and leaving the room.

 

 

—

 

 

It feels like Jared sits in the bed and stays alone in the hotel room for hours.

He calls for room service during lunch time so he doesn’t have to leave, eating and swallowing everything without getting any taste in his mouth. He might as well be eating dirt. There’s nothing he can do besides stay there and wait. His logic tells him that Jensen is going to come back soon, all his stuff is there including their fake credit cards and passports, he can’t just leave the fucking country without them.

Besides, he knows Jensen wouldn’t leave him alone when Pellegrino is looking for him, and that fact only makes Jared’s guilt much greater.

This is all his fault, too. He’s the one who kissed Jensen last night, the one who didn’t put a stop to it since the very beginning. He said yes to Stephen and then came here and did all this with Jensen.

Jared probably deserves nothing after all.

He was too caught up on his dreams that couldn’t be to stop and think how ugly things could turn out. And they did.

Still, with all that, Jared can’t help but worry. Anything could have happened to Jensen. He left feeling hurt, angry and sad and that is never a good combination. Not to mention they are being chased by a crazy sadist who wants to cut them in pieces. What if Pellegrino got a hold of Jensen? How can Jared know if Jensen’s safe?

It’s almost night time when Jensen opens the door, making Jared take a sharp breath and stare intently at him from the bed, heart starting to beat properly again.

Without saying a word, Jensen throws a black duffel bag at Jared, immediately going into the bathroom after it hits the bed. Jared brings it close, opening the zipper and finding an unimaginable amount of money inside of it. He knows what this is. His part of the cut for what they did back in Italy.

“When did you—” Jared starts, confused. “I thought you hid it in here, and when you left…”

“I put it back in my coat this morning, you were still sleeping.” Jensen explains sharply, cutting Jared off. “That’s your part of the payment.”

Jared frowns, looking at the money. “I don’t want it.”

He didn’t do it for the money, it was because Jensen asked him the favor to come with him.

“I don’t care,” Jensen snaps again, walking out of the bathroom and shooting Jared a cold look. “That’s not my problem, do whatever you want with it.”

Jensen walks past the bed to go to the balcony, closing the door behind him and taking out a new pack of cigarettes from his pocket. Jared didn’t see him smoke as much in the past few days and he had been wondering if it was because Jensen didn’t feel as stressed or of it was out of consideration to Jared since he didn’t like the smell.

Whatever the reason, the spell has been ruined.

When Jared can’t wait up anymore, dizzy and with a headache from the constant crying he did all damn day while Jensen was out, he decides to go to sleep. All while Jensen is still out in the balcony, smoking and drinking a beer, looking at everything but Jared inside of the room.

The alarm wakes Jared up some hours later, bringing him back to the current reality. Glancing around let’s Jared discover that the other half of the bed is still perfectly made, which means Jensen either slept on the couch at the other side of the room or simply didn’t sleep at all.

He’s out in the balcony—still or again, Jared doesn’t know—talking on the phone and seeming just as cold as the night before.  

They travel to Spain some hours later that day.

As Jared already knew, staying in the same country after getting a big payment because of an illegal transaction is always a bad idea, so he doesn’t argue when Jensen comes back after leaving all morning and hands him a plane ticket.

No train this time. Something tells Jared that Jensen doesn’t want to spend a long period of time locked in the same space with him anymore.

Not after what they said to each other during their last fight.

Jared’s suspicions are confirmed when they get to the plane and they are not sitting side by side like last time. Jared is six rows behind Jensen and he doesn’t turn around to look at him once during the two hours they fly from France to Spain.

As it turns out, Jensen being cold and distant might be worse than Jared ever imagined, even if it’s basically what he asked for.

“Are we just going to run away forever?” Jared dares to ask as they drag their luggage out of the _Madrid-Barajas_ airport. It’s the first time they have said anything to each other in hours and Jared really needs to know the answer to this.

Jensen only mutters _“I'll figure it out”_ before walking faster so they aren’t side by side, leaving Jared to follow him without saying another word.

They rent an apartment again. Jared guesses it’s all Chad doing but he doesn’t asks this time. Jensen doesn’t seem to want for them to talk at all. So Jared just follows Jensen around, drowning in his own thoughts of what has been happening.

Maybe the fight was too much but he didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. It may be harsh to hear but Jensen was the one who did this to them. They were fine before, they were together.

The reason Jared ended up engaged with someone else is simply because Jensen broke them in the first place.

And now Jared has made a promise to someone else and can’t break it like it’s nothing. He said yes to Stephen so he has to get married to him, right? It wouldn’t be fair to make him go through all this nightmare of a fake kidnapping to just come back home when it’s all over and tell him they are done. Is not okay. Jared has to keep his word one way or another.

Leaving the Stephen subject at one side, what future could Jared and Jensen have anyway? All they had done so far is kiss and pretend everything was okay.

It wasn’t a real arrangement, simply a temporal one they could both enjoy. But what could be next? They had tried being serious and it ended horribly. Jensen entered a self-destructive path that could have gotten him killed and Jared had to battle with depression and a constant heart break that almost devoured him.

It’s clear that is not good for them to stay together. They can end up hurting each other more when things don’t work out.

The solution where nobody gets hurt eventually is to keep things the way they are now.

That way none of them—not Jared, Jensen nor Stephen—will have to suffer for a dead past that shouldn’t have been brought back to life to begin with.

They have a house this time. Bigger than any of the apartments and hotel rooms they have been staying at.

Simply by walking in and leaving his luggage at the living room, Jared can guess the place has enough space for him and Jensen to not share beds anymore or even be in the same room at the same time.

“I didn’t break us.”

Jensen’s mumble takes Jared by surprise. When he turns around, he finds Jensen closing the door and throwing the keys in the bowl near the entry. He still has that serious and dead expression he has been sporting all day long and is starting to drive Jared insane.

“What?”

“I didn’t break us,” Jensen repeats, louder this time. He nods but it seems like is mostly to himself, like he’s repeating facts out loud instead of doing it in his head. “You left. You’re the one who broke us apart, not me.”

Jared can’t believe what he’s hearing.  Is Jensen for real right now? Is he honestly going to try to pin this on Jared? He simply doesn’t get to.

He can’t do that, suddenly blaming Jared for something that has been killing him inside for years. Jensen can’t fucking throw the blame at him just for— what? To feel better about himself? To feel less guilty now that they are finally talking about it?

 “I left? Well, seems like we remember that day really different, huh?” Jared almost wants to kick his luggage. Or kick Jensen if he needs to. “You left, Jensen. I told you how you could make a choice and you left, not me!”

“When I came back you were gone!”

It stops Jared on his tracks, throat closing before he can get a noise out.

That’s not— it can’t be true. Jared waited and waited _and waited_ but Jensen didn’t come back. He was locked in the bathroom for hours and even when he decide he was done staying there hoping for Jensen to come back, he took a long time packing his things before leaving their place.

Jared was a mess the entire time he packed, stopping every now and then to cry and call Chad to help him decide what to do and where to go. It took him hours to take the courage to leave like Jensen had done, and in all that time Jensen never came back or called or _anything_.

It’s fucking bullshit.

“You didn’t—” Jared breaths out, digging his nails on his own palms and he grips his fists closed. “You didn’t come back.”

“Yes, yes I did!” Jensen argues, walking two angry steps closer to Jared. “You think I would just fucking leave forever?”

“When, then?!” Jared yells, just done with his entire conversation. He’s tired of remembering. That’s one of the worst moments of Jared’s life and he has tried his hardest to not think of it during five long years. Jensen can’t do this him, force him to keep thinking of what he so badly wants to forget. “When did you decide to come back?!”

“I was gone for a couple days, but—”

“A couple days!” Jared repeats, letting out a sarcastic laugh that is completely unusual for him.  “Oh wow, I’m so flattered it took you a fucking _week_ to decide _maybe_ I was worth coming back for!”

“I just needed some time to think!” To think. _Great_. Jensen expects to make Jared feel better with such excuse? “But I came back and you were gone. All your stuff was missing…”

“Did you expect me to wait for you forever, Jensen?!” Jared loved him but he couldn’t make Jensen love him in the same way. Staying there would have just wrecked everything beyond measure. “Don’t you get it? If you needed that long to choose me it means that you never felt the same way I did! Because I would have chosen you right away!”

Over everything. Jensen was his everything. Jared couldn’t imagine a life without him and then he had to live that nightmare, day after day.

He would have picked Jensen over the rest of the world in an instant but now he couldn’t do that anymore.

Jared had to force himself to change everything he was, from his past to his name, and now Jensen can’t simply ask him to go back to what they used to be.

_“A couple days to think!_ God, poor you, you fucking asshole.” Jared hisses, cleaning his tears angrily. All he has done all this time is cry in front of Jensen, showing him that he still cares and gets hurts with memories and Jared _hates it._ “You know what I was doing while you were thinking after leaving me? I waited, Jensen. I fucking waited, locked in that bathroom for hours!”

He lets out a sob, covering his face and trying to keep his shit together. Jared hates Jensen for doing this to him, hates him for breaking his heart.

But more than anything, he hates Jensen because Jared could never quite stop loving him.

“You have no idea what it was like for me to stay there and beg in my head for you to come back and then realize you weren’t going to.” Jared is done fighting, he’s done yelling and trying to throw the blame around. He wishes he could forget and move on, but at this point of his life Jared has realized he’s never going to be able to. “You don’t know what it was like to sit there alone, crying for hours, just to realize that you would never pick me over your job. That you would rather be a thief than _be with me_.”

There’s nothing worse than realizing that someone doesn’t love you back as much as you love them. Jared swears there’s no worst feeling in the world. You feel like an idiot, like you’re pathetic for even hoping a different result.

“I couldn’t compete with your other great love, I couldn’t compete with the rush and excitement of being a thief. I would always fall second place. And I didn’t want to be that anymore.” Jared couldn’t do that to himself any longer, that’s why he chose to leave when Jensen didn’t come back for him. “I loved you, but I couldn’t make you love me like I wanted you to.”

Jared lets out another sob, not daring to look at Jensen anymore, who’s doing nothing but stand in front of him and listen. It’s hard to say it out loud. It has always killed Jared to _think_ about it, but saying it to Jensen’s face might hurt even more.

“I couldn’t make you love me more than you love this life, not even if I loved you more than anything.”

Jared completely breaks down and starts to cry openly a second later, crouching on the same spot and hiding his face between his hands. Jared has been keeping it all inside too long, hoping it would disappear if he hid it in the farthest part of his memory. He has been an idiot, thinking that ignoring his past would be enough.

It has been in there all along. The endless pain of how he and Jensen broke up has followed him for five years. And Jared can’t keep it together anymore.

It hurt so much. It has been hurting for too long.

It hurt when Stephen got down on one knee and asked him to marry him and all Jared could think about was Jensen promising him to someday getting him a ring. It hurt whenever Jared thought of changing his last name to anything that wasn’t “Ackles”.

Jared has been living with that pain like a constant reminder that his love wasn’t enough for Jensen, and it’s been killing him ever since.

The weight of Jensen putting his arms around him and pulling him in a hug makes Jared let out a strangled gasp. He leans in, only for a hopeful second, before reacting properly and pushing Jensen away from him, almost tripping when he stands up again, shaking his head violently.

“No! You don’t get to comfort me!” Jared shrieks, hiccupping between cries as he steps back, still avoiding Jensen’s eyes. “T-Trying to make me feel better won’t make me—”

“I know, it doesn’t mean you forgive me.” Jensen offers, voice soft. “It doesn’t have to mean anything, Jared. I simply cannot watch you cry like that and do nothing.”

Jensen takes a long deep breath that causes Jared to glance up and find Jensen rubbing one of his eyes with the back of his hand.

“Just let me, please? I know if there’s something you hate is being left alone when you’re sad. I still remember that. So it doesn’t have to mean anything at all.”

Jared stops himself to consider it for a split second, still breathing hard and feeling the tears sliding down his cheeks and the curve of his nose. He doesn’t know if Jensen remembering how much he hates to be alone is good or bad at the moment _. Jensen knew then and still does years ago._

Jensen always knows.

Jared takes a deep breath and nibbles on his lower lip, trying to decide if letting Jensen stay by his side right now will make things better or worse.

He’s not as startled this time when he feels Jensen move close so he can cup Jared’s face carefully.

“Please, Jay. I don’t want to leave you crying alone a second time.” Jensen begs, wiping some tears from Jared’s face.  “You can hate me if you want but at least let me stay with you right now.” 

Jared could never hate Jensen like that. Not even after everything that has happened.

He doesn’t say it out loud though, letting Jensen walk him to the couch so they can both sit there.

Gripping the fabric of his jeans, Jared keeps tearing up silently with his head down. Everything has been too much. It feels like he has been on an emotional rollercoaster for almost a week.

He can’t do this anymore and staying by Jensen’s side keeps having that effect in him.

Letting out a pained little noise, Jared presses himself close to Jensen as soon as he feels Jensen’s arm around his shoulder. He hides his face in the space between the space of Jensen’s neck and his shoulder, somehow soothed by the familiar smell and the warmth from the embrace.

Jensen press his lips to Jared’s forehead, whispering something Jared can’t understand clearly.

It sounds like he’s saying _“sorry”,_ yet Jared’s cries are too loud to let him hear properly.

 

 

—

 

 

The next day might be the most awkward they’ve had since the moment they met again at the engagement party.

There’s a weird vibe in the air after finally discussing the topic they had been avoiding all along. It’s strange to look at Jensen and realize that now he knows everything Jared has been thinking and feeling after their break up.

They don’t bring it up anymore though, clearly done with that subject. Jared thinks he has said and cried enough, Jensen can’t possibly want more from him.

He ended up falling asleep in Jensen’s arms last night and when he woke up early in the morning he was lying down on the couch with a pillow under his head and some blankets covering him. By his side, on the floor, Jensen had arranged some type of bed of his own. He had dragged one of the mattresses from a room so he could somehow keep Jared company even in his sleep and be there if Jared woke up in the middle of the night.

During that entire day, both of them walk around each other in silence. They make breakfast, unpack and order food without talking more than necessary. It’s like a mutual silent agreement that they aren’t going out at all, locking themselves in their rented house.

Jared sits on the couch for hours and all he does is think. It seems like it’s the only thing he can do lately. How is he going to explain everything to Stephen? How is Stephen going to react when he hears about his past and leaving with Jensen to Europe to stay safe?

How is their life going to be when they eventually get married? Jared can barely imagine himself putting back on the engagement ring, let alone accepting a wedding band. Jared can’t think a single thing to say for the vows they will eventually have to read the day of their wedding.

Can he actually imagine himself growing old by Stephen’s side, spending the rest of his life with him?

Jared could have said “yes” to that questions some weeks ago, maybe not a convinced one, but he could have at least said it out loud.

Right now he can’t even think that same “yes” in his head. It’s like everything has changed in only a week.

“I have been thinking—” Jensen mumbles from the other side of the living room, staring at a map of Madrid they got in the airport and pulling Jared out of his thoughts. “I’m going to have to kill Pellegrino.”

“Don’t be stupid.” Jared snaps, hugging his knees while sitting on the couch and frowning. “You’re a thief, Jensen, not a hitman. You’re not a killer like him.”

“Who cares? It’s either kill or get killed by this point.” Jensen starts folding the map slowly, momentarily looking like he forgot Jared is there, his mind and plans far away from the house in the middle of Madrid. Jared knows Jensen has spent a long time running away from Pellegrino, but he’s sure this is not the solution for the problem. “I’m done hiding from that piece of shit, and now he wants to hurt you too because of mistake I made when I was younger? Fuck that, I’m not going to let him do that.”

Hugging his legs tighter, Jared keeps on frowning when he only senses Jensen’s determination with his new plan growing stronger. _No_. This is ridiculous. Jensen might be a very skilled thief but that doesn’t give him what he needs to sneak into Pellegrino’s house and try to kill him. Jensen would end up dead himself before he even tried. That guy is insane and probably has security up the ass with the amount of enemies he must have everywhere.

Jensen would have no chance, they would put a bullet in his head before he gets close enough to the guy.

“Jensen, don’t even think—”

“I don't kill to steal and you know that,” Jensen interrupts Jared before he can finish his sentence. “But I’ll do it to protect you, Jared.”

The seriousness Jensen has in his tone when he says it doesn’t comfort Jared at all, it only serves to put all his nerves in high alert. He doesn’t want Jensen to put himself at risk for him.

“I’m going to kill Pellegrino so you can be safe and go back to Amell.”

That’s the part Jared never thought he would hear Jensen say.

Jared lets go of his legs, staring at Jensen like he has never seen him in his life, mouth hanging open. Two days ago Jensen was saying that they couldn't pretend that their kisses and flirting didn’t happen and now he’s okay with Jared going back to be with Stephen?

_Jensen?_ He’s easily the most possessive person Jared has ever met. Up until now, all Jensen had done was joke and tease Jared about leaving Stephen and how they aren’t meant to be together.

Jensen even kept hinting there was still something between the two of them that Stephen couldn’t one up.

“Do you love him?” Jensen asks again, surprising Jared, who keeps staring at him in utter surprise. “Does he make you happy?” He smiles for just a moment. It’s a sad smile, but still a real one. “Because if he does, I’ll back off, I swear. I won’t interfere anymore and I’ll disappear from your life so you can be with him.”

Jared can’t believe what’s he’s hearing, heart slowly sinking into his stomach.

Isn’t this what he wanted, though? Didn’t he ask Jensen to leave things alone because he had promised to marry Stephen?

_Then why?_

Why does it feel so wrong to hear Jensen say he is okay with Jared choosing another man?

“All I care is that you’re happy, Jared. I had the chance to do that and I screwed it up.” Jensen looks down at something in his hand, letting out a sigh before throwing it at Jared.

When he catches it, Jared realizes it’s his engagement ring. Jensen probably took it out of Jared’s wallet at some point like the good thief that he is. Jared stares at the band in silence, heart constricting in his chest.

“And if Stephen does that, if he makes you happy, then I’ll stop trying to get in the way so you can go be with him.”

Now Jared knows where Jensen is coming from with all this sudden change of heart. Is because of all Jared said last night.

Maybe Jensen never knew how Jared felt after they broke up and learning that new chunk of the story has changed his perception of how to behave from now on.

Jensen is telling him to go with Stephen. No resentment nor hard feelings. It’s all Jared’s choice now. Jensen will support whatever he decides to do and stay out of his life so Jared can go and marry Stephen how he’s supposed to.

Jared grips the ring in his hand and says nothing, not being able to answer any of Jensen’s questions or his own.

 

 

—

 

 

 

The next days are even worst than Jared could have ever imagined.

It’s like after Jensen told Jared he should choose Stephen, a weird peace contract settled between them.

Jensen behaves a little more like himself, making some jokes and even inviting Jared out to have lunch or do something else besides stay in their rented house looking at the ceiling. Yet there’s a change in Jensen’s attitude. He no longer offers to hold Jared’s hand, there is no flirting and no double intended jokes. They don’t go to romantic restaurants put rather loud and packed places where Jensen talks about random topics to fill the silences. He doesn’t use _Jay_ or _sweetheart_ or any other pet names for Jared like he did before.

There’s an invisible distance between them now.

And Jared fucking hates it.

It’s not _them_ , even if they aren’t a couple. This is now how they behave around each other. It feels strange.

Jensen drags the mattress from the living room back to its rightful place and they start sleeping in their own rooms.

Jared knows he can’t have it all. He doesn’t want to hurt Stephen after promising to marry him so he asked Jensen to pretend nothing ever happened. But now Jared doesn’t like the unfamiliarity settling between them.

He is being the asshole everyone hates in the romantic movie, not wanting to hurt his fiancé but also not wanting to let go of his ex-boyfriend.

Jared is pissed off at himself for acting this way, desperate to force himself just settle down and stop acting like he’s a teenager who can’t choose a date for prom night— _which is a pretty bad example considering he ditched prom to go celebrate with Jensen when they were younger._

He hasn’t put the engagement ring back on his finger, playing with the fancy band and staring at it for way too long, repeating all the questions Jensen made when he gave it back and basically told Jared to start using it again.

_Does he love Stephen? Does he make him happy?_

By the fifth day in their new acquired routine, Jared has a little more answers than before, but they only serve to pop up more questions in his head.

_Is he going to marry Stephen out of guilt?_

That doesn’t seem like a good start for a relationship. When Jared lays in bed and closes his eyes, trying to find reasons why he should become Stephen’s husband, all he can think about is _“I already said I would”_ _and “I can’t leave him after he has been so worried about me”_.

It seems like the reasons Jared can find never have the words _love_ and _happiness_ in them.

He has been reasonably happy by Stephen’s side, sure, he’s a nice guy. But isn’t it sad that all Jared can think about when he thinks of his fiancé is “ _what a nice guy”?_

And the happiness they had, well, can it be compared to how Jared has been feeling the few days he has been spending by Jensen’s side?

Maybe Jared is scared to make Stephen feel like he felt when Jensen left him years ago.

Jared knows how horrible heartbreaks can be and he would never want to do that to anyone else.

But…can consideration and empathy be enough of a reason to marry someone?

And then there’s Jensen.

Jared doesn’t know where he stands with Jensen. At all.  

Knowing that Jensen still has feelings for him makes Jared feel good, which isn’t right, but _damn_ if that’s stopping him. The idea of Jensen looking at him and still feeling something in his chest almost sounds like music to Jared’s ears.

But where can they go from there? What can they do?

The fear of everything going to shit again is too powerful. That’s his biggest concern: getting back together with Jensen just to get hurt all over again.

“Hey.” Jared walks into the kitchen that night, somehow nervous. He has decided that maybe talking with Jensen could resolve some of the worst questions he has been dealing with in his head for the past days.

“Hey, you hungry? I’m almost done.”

Jensen is cooking something for them for dinner. It almost makes Jared smile.

“I have been thinking of what you asked me the other day. About Stephen.”

It makes Jensen stop stirring the soup he’s heating on the stove immediately. Jared already has half the answers settled up after so much time alone to think. So much solo time finally made him realize many of the things he wasn’t ready to face yet. But he has still some parts he has to figure out, and Jared needs Jensen for that.

“Jensen, I wanted to ask you-well, I need to know if you—”

Jensen’s phone starts ringing over the kitchen counter in that moment, interrupting them. Jensen groans, reaching forward and mumbling _“Hold that thought”_ before picking up the call, clearly annoyed about the interference. Jared can’t say he’s not a little stressed too, he has been killing himself about what he’s about to ask Jensen. It took him hours to gather up the courage to come to the kitchen to bring up the subject.   
  
“What is it, Chad?” Jensen groans into the phone, tapping the floor with his shoe. “Yeah, yeah, he’s here. Wait a second.”

Leaving the phone back on the counter, Jensen taps the screen around until he finds the right button to put the call on speaker, making Chad’s voice echo all around the kitchen.

It doesn’t seem like Jensen let Chad finish talking though, because Jared can only hear the end of his sentence.

_“—and told me to keep up with anything that happened with Amell family and everything in that house, but this is bad, man. This is fucking bullshit.”_     
  
“What does that mean?” Jared jumps into the conversation, walking closer to the counter.

There’s a long silence in return that would never be proper in Chad. He can talk his ass off all day long and never shut up. If Jensen covered Chad’s mouth he would probably have words appearing on his forehead.

_“Ackles, you slobbering idiot. Who fucking told you to put me on speaker?”_

“Fuck you, Murray. You asked if Jared was around!” Jensen argues, offended.

_“Yeah so you would make sure to move away and not be close to him, you moron!”_ Chad groans again and then it sounds like he’s also arguing with someone in the background, obviously altered. It makes Jared start to get worried. Chad mentioned Stephen and his family, did something happen to them?

After a minute or so, Chad seems to get a hold of his phone again, still cursing.

_“Such an idiot, this was not something Jared was supposed to hear.”_

“Why not?” Jared presses on, grabbing the phone. Jensen leans against the counter, clearly interested by Chad’s sketchy attitude. “What happened, Chad?”

Chad groans again. _“You don’t wanna hear it.”_

Jared’s heart skips a beat. If Stephen or his parents end up hurt because of him he’s never going to forgive himself. “Yes I do. Are they alright?”

“ _They are, they are. Rich motherfuckers still enjoying of their stupid rich life.”_ Chad huffs into the phone and Jared lets out a sigh of relief.

If something bad had happened to them Chad wouldn’t be offending them, so that's something.

_“But, since you told me you wanted me to keep an eye on them, I had Chris sneak in their place and put microphones and stuff all around, even some devices to help me intercept all the calls that go in our out of the house. I already hacked into their new security cameras, so I had all points covered.”_

“Alright?” Jared frowns, confused about how this can be a bad thing. “That actually sounds like a good idea. What’s wrong with it?”

_“I caught a call like an hour ago. Pellegrino called to the house and spoke with your fiancé, Jared.”_

Even Jensen, by his side, makes a surprised noise. They look at each other, both concerned about what could have gone down during that phone call. Jared’s head fills with different scenarios almost instantly: front Pellegrino being the one telling Stephen who Jared really is to that crazy mobster threatening to harming Stephen and his family if they didn’t tell him where Jared is.

 All them have one thing common though: whatever happened, it can’t be good.

_“And I have that specific call recorded, like all the others that have been happening in the house.”_

“Okay, let’s hear it then!” Jared insists, rubbing his hands nervously.

_“Well, here’s the thing. I didn’t want you to hear it.”_ Chad groans _. “I was hoping Jensen would go out of the house or something to hear it on his own, but he’s an old fucking dildo who went and put you on speaker—”_

“I thought that’s what you wanted me to do, you annoying fuck!” Jensen argues again, but they don’t have time for this, so Jared interrupts him again.  

  
“Enough you two!” This is not the moment for their little fights. As much as they usually amuse Jared, he doesn’t have the patience at the moment. “Why don’t you want me to hear it, Chad? What the hell is going on?”

_“Uh—”_

“Chad!”

_“Fine, fine, fucking hell.”_ Chad sighs dramatically at the other side of the line. _“Okay, I’ll play it for you, but don’t tell me I didn’t warn you to not hear it.”_

The sounds of Chad typing on his computer comes through the phone as Jensen and Jared wait, with Jared getting more nervous by the second.

He doesn’t know what to expect. Is Stephen in danger now? Maybe they will find out how much Pellegrino knows about their location thanks to his call. Did Stephen go to the police already—?

The next thing they hear is a deep voice with a British accent that makes echo in the kitchen and doesn’t belong to Chad anymore. It makes the hair from the back of Jared’s neck stand up as he moves closer to Jensen almost by instinct.

Jensen nods by side, a silent confirmation that this is Pellegrino’s voice. Jared swallows loudly.

_“I saw in the news you think someone kidnapped your fiancé.”_

_“Who is this?”_ That’s Stephen voice next, and he sounds wary by his tone. _“Why are you calling here?”_

There’s a pause before Stephen speaks again _. “Are you the one who has Tristan?”_

_“Maybe I am_.” Pellegrino’s answer make Jensen and Jared glance at each other, both with identical confused frowns. Where is he going with this? _“Or maybe I’m just looking for him, just like you.”_

_“What is that supposed to mean?”_ Jared can tell Stephen was getting annoyed already with this call. He can’t stand being mocked or played with, so Jared can almost picture Stephen already being done with the weird conversation by this point. _“Just give him back already! We’re getting married soon and he—”_

_“What would you do to get your fiancé back, boy?”_

There’s another pause and Stephen’s voice sounds again. _“What do you want?”_

_“See, this could work both ways. I could get something good out of this after all. I have a friend who really wanted to be a senator there in Washington. It would have been good for a lot of us.”_

Both Jared and Jensen know what Pellegrino meant by that. Probably some corrupt politician who would end up helping people like him and getting his hands dirty for extra money.

_“What if I told you I can give you back your fiancé if your dad quits his position and you give me half the money you have under your name?”_

Stephen’s answer comes back almost instantly. _“No.”_

Jared is absolutely unsurprised by Stephen’s response. All these days he has been so worried about leaving Stephen and making him go through the nightmare of a hurtful breakup that he almost forgot how Stephen can behave sometimes.

The image of Stephen talking in the news had somehow made Jared forget that, _yeah_ , this is who Stephen actually is and not the sweet version of himself he likes to play for the press.

Besides, Stephen’s dad worked hard to get where he is now and he doesn’t have to give it up for Jared’s sake. He’s not even in danger right now.

Sure, Stephen doesn’t know that, but the point is that he didn’t _have_ to agree to Pellegrino’s request. And Jared is not shocked that he denied the option right away.

By his side, Jensen grabs the phone and grips it a little too hard.

Pellegrino laughs at the other side of the call in that instant, clearly amused. _“Oh wow, cold hearted. I like that. What happened with the begging boy in the news asking to have his boyfriend back?”_

_“All press is good press. Had to take advantage of the moment.”_

Jared huffs, shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

Just like their engagement during live TV and then inviting _influential_ people Jared didn’t know for their engagement party. _Of course._ But then again, it doesn’t surprise him how unharmed he feels by Stephen’s answers. He has always been like this.

To think Jared was feeling really guilty after seeing his damn interview.

_“Well, I’m sure you still care to some level about your lovely boy. Don’t you want to see him again? I’ll make you an offer and only take the money in exchange.”_ Pellegrino offers, obviously trying to trick Stephen.

_“No. My family doesn’t bargain with thieves, kidnappers or terrorists.”_ Stephen answers with a harsh voice. “ _Not even for Tristan. You can keep him.”_

There's a beeping noise after that and the recording gets cut off as Chad gets back on the phone. Their friend sighs, clicking his tongue.

_“That’s it. Told you it was better for you not to hear it. Amell is a dickwad.”_

Jared shrugs, trying to not give it much importance. He takes the phone off of speaker and says goodbye to Chad, thanking him again for keeping him up with what was going on back there. Jared hands up and leaves the phone back on the counter, feeling more offended more than anything.

Wow. _Really?_ Stephen could have at least shown some real concern if he really thought Pellegrino had him.

“Well, go figure. He even tricked _me_ with that interview he did. I know him and I didn’t realize he was faking—”

The sound of something crashing on the ground makes Jared physically jump, letting out a small yell, confused for a good second. There are pieces of glass everywhere, none of them close to where he’s standing but rather at the other side of the kitchen. There is also beer smeared all over the floor and the opposite wall, with Jensen standing in the middle of the entire mess while breathing hard.

It hits Jared after a couple heartbeats. _Jensen smashed his beer bottle against the wall._

“Jensen?”

“He wouldn’t do it.” Jensen hisses, not facing Jared, who sees him grip both his hands by his sides. “He wouldn’t— he wouldn’t even _try_ to get you back...”

“I’m not in real danger though.” Jared whispers, walking over the mess of beer and glass on the kitchen floor so he can go next to Jensen’s side. He puts a hand on his shoulder, trying to get Jensen to turn around. “I’m fine, it doesn’t matter.”

“He doesn't know that.” Jensen hisses again, looking so angry that Jared is surprised his entire body isn’t shaking. “He doesn’t know you’re fine— he didn’t even ask if you were okay. He didn’t fucking _try_ to help you at all. If you had been really kidnapped...” Jensen trails off, too angry to finish that possibility.

Well, that’s true. All Stephen did was tell Pellegrino to fuck off because he was not actually going to do anything to get Jared back. But to Jared that’s Stephen _being Stephen_. Of course he wouldn’t even bargain with Pellegrino.

It’s quite offensive Stephen wouldn’t even try and would literally give Jared away to his supposed kidnapper, but well, what can Jared do about that? Stephen could be really cold hearted sometimes.

“That’s just Stephen. Really, it doesn’t matter, Jensen.”  

  
That makes Jensen look back at him, jaw set and looking like he can’t believe what he’s hearing.

“It doesn’t matter? It doesn’t— how can you say that!?” Jensen groans. “A guy who wouldn’t give _everything_ to keep you safe, even die for you, is not worthy of getting married with you, Jared!”

It touches something in Jared’s chest to hear Jensen say that. Like a confirmation of something Jared was there to ask about in the first place. He doesn’t need to question if Jensen would do all that for him. Jared _knows_ he would.

He has done it multiple times in the past and is doing right now by helping him escape Pellegrino.

Jensen is seething by his side, face transfixed with anger after hearing the recorded phone call. It almost seems like he wants to trash the entire house down. Jared, on the other hand, doesn’t feel nearly as offended and pissed as Jensen does. Sure, is fucking sucks to find out Stephen doesn’t care as much as he pretended to in front of Jared and the press, yet something in him was ready for Stephen to behave that way.

Maybe Jared always suspected it.

“How can he—? That fucking idiot! He has _you!_ ” Jensen snaps again, taking Jared out of his own thoughts. “What else can he fucking ask for? He’s going to marry you and he’s— he’s…I swear to God I’m going to fucking kill him myself!”

“No, Jensen. He’s not worth it.” Not that Stephen doesn’t at least deserve a good punch to the face after showing his true colors but it’s not necessary to go as far as Jensen wanting to beat him to death. “Listen, yeah it sucks, but is not worth you getting so mad about it. He’s always been like that, probably why he used our engagement to attract more attention to himself and his dad. He’s not that worried if I come back to be with him or not.”

Stephen probably cares more about the wedding not being canceled.

“Then he’s an idiot for it!” Jensen slams his fists over the kitchen counter, huffing harshly. “He doesn’t know _shit_ if he doesn’t care if you’re with him or not! He has no idea. There’s nothing worse than not having you, Jared.”

There’s something in the level of frustration Jensen is getting to that makes Jared stop for a second to listen. It’s almost like the meaning behind his words are slowing melting together. At this point Jared doesn’t know where it stops being about Stephen and where it starts being about Jensen himself.

Jared understands Jensen’s frustration over hearing that Stephen doesn’t give a shit about Jared’s safety, mostly caring about the press that can bring their eventual marriage that Jared’s own life.

But Jensen is too angry even for that.

“Jensen,” Jared starts again, hand on his shoulder to squeeze it gently. “Why are you—?”

“Don’t you get it? I know he’s a fucking idiot but I was an idiot, too.” Jensen faces Jared, voice low. “Back then I thought that nothing could be worse than having a normal life without the thrill of this job, but that was only because I never had to live without you before.”

Jared’s breath catches in the middle of his throat, stopping him from speaking again. _They are back to this topic again_. But this time is different. There’s no fighting or screaming and they are going in a direction they have never touched before. Jared swallows forcefully, anxiety starting to settle in the middle of his chest, pulling and stretching under his skin. It’s like his brain can’t fully process what Jensen just admitted right to face.

Jared has to be imagining it, he has wanted Jensen to talk about this for so long, to explain the reasoning of what Jared could never understand.

Jensen grabs Jared's face with one hand, cupping his chin and making Jared keep eye contact. The anger seems to be fading away from Jensen, slowly leaving behind a nerve wracking amount of regret and sadness in his eyes.

“I was an idiot for letting you go, for not looking for you right away. I was cocky and stupid and thought you would stay with me.” Jensen laughs sarcastically, rubbing his face with his free hand. Jensen hates having talks like this, Jared has known that all along. Last time they tried to have an emotional conversation during their dinner in Italy, Jensen was nervously drinking wine the entire time and taking long pauses to get himself together, hating to be on the spotlight by openly discussing how his feelings.

And now he’s just pouring everything out, letting it explode without any filters.

“I thought that I would find you when I came back home. I was wrong for ever taking you for granted, Jay.”

It’s like Jared passed out and is hallucinating the whole thing. After all this time, he never expected Jensen to say any of this. Back then? Maybe, but after five years of waiting and trying to get over him, Jared had absolutely convinced himself that Jensen never loved him enough and didn’t regret how things went down between them. It made easier to not want to think about him, it made more bearable to be away from Jensen if Jared kept repeating in his head that Jensen would always chose him second and not feel bad at all for that choice.

It’s almost like Jared is in the middle of a trance and then get hits with reality when he hears Jensen let out a shaky breath, letting go of Jared’s face.

Jared stares, awestruck, as Jessen takes a deep breath and rubs his eyes angrily.

“Fuck, just— fuck this! I’m so fucking tired.” Jensen groans, looking at Jared. His eyes are bloodshot. “Life is a _nightmare_ without you. I’m fucking miserable every day because all I can think about is that I had you and then I _lost_ you.” He slams his hand on the counter again, making some of the things placed over it tip over and fall to the ground. Jared can only bring himself to stare, feeling like the entire world stopped spinning and time is frozen, only him and Jensen existing in that kitchen.    

“I put on a cocky smile and work and pretend everything is fine when all I can think about is that I had all I wanted with you and then I let you go.”

Jared has never seen Jensen cry, at least not like this.

He has seen Jensen laugh so hard he teared up, he has seen Jensen get hurt enough to get his eyes watery because of the pain. He even saw Jensen rubbing his cheeks to erase the trace of tears the time Jared got hurt during a job and dislocated his right shoulder; Jensen had been angry and worried sick after seeing Jared in that much pain, getting to the point of tearing up after hearing Jared’s screams of pain when they had to pop his shoulder back in place.

But this is different. Jared has never seen Jensen do this.

Jensen has the weird concept that crying and showing too many emotions makes him weak, probably because of the way he was raised and all shit he had to deal with while growing up. Jared knows that. He always tried to tell Jensen how stupid that was back when they were together, but not even with all his pep talks Jared got Jensen to completely let go of those idiotic macho beliefs. Jensen has always been _cool Jensen_ and _smooth Jensen_. The thief, the overconfident prick who does whatever he wants and doesn’t apologize for it. That’s the image Jensen wants to project, how he wants people to see him.

And now he’s just looking straight up at Jared and angry tearing up with no remorse, like he can’t bring himself to give a shit anymore.

“That’s when I realized that there is _nothing_ worse than living without you, Jared. If Amell can’t see that then he’s the biggest idiot on earth.” New anger seems to wake up in Jensen when he mentions Stephen, nostrils flaring.

He tilts Jared's face again so he can gaze carefully at his features. Then, Jensen smiles just so.

“You’re _everything_. You were everything back then and sometimes I was too blind to see it. I loved you, Jared. And I still do.”  

Jared bites his lower lip, watching Jensen stare at him like he hung the sun in the sky, adoration so obvious in his eyes it makes everything inside of Jared crack back in place after five long years.

“There hasn't been a day I stopped loving you, Jay.”

  
It’s all Jared ever wanted to hear.

Everything he needed to hear back then, what he needed to hear now. _Jensen is all Jared will always need_.

The realization is almost mind-blowing, hitting Jared all at once and making him understand what he has been killing himself over all along. The answer to everything is right there in front of him. There couldn’t be any other. _It’s Jensen_. It’s always been Jensen and will always be Jensen.

Nothing matters beyond that.

Jared launches himself forward, grabbing Jensen’s face with both hands and pulling him into a kiss. It’s the second time he has done that in the past few days but now he’s absolutely sure of what he’s doing, not a single trace of a doubt or guilt in his head. Just Jensen, Jensen, _Jensen_.

Something in his chest almost cheers in delight when he feels Jensen's lips against his own again, just to turn that cheer into a roar of triumph when Jensen immediately kisses him back.

Feeling Jensen smile against his lips pulls a half-laugh out of Jared that dies out almost instantly when Jensen lets go of his face to grab Jared's hips to press them together. The sudden burst of happiness in the middle of his chest might as well melt Jared alive, relief after years of longing almost too much to handle.

Jared snaps his eyes open and grabs Jensen by the shoulders, pushing their faces apart so they can break the kiss just a couple seconds after it started. Jensen’s face is almost comical for a moment, like Jared just decided to change his mind again and he’s terrified to go back to the sad awkwardness from the past days. Yet Jared’s instant smile seems to calm him down a little.

That and the fact that Jared presses their foreheads together, trying to reassure Jensen with a simple touch.

“I have an answer for you.” Jared mumbles, brushing his lips against Jensen’s and closing his eyes for a heartbeat. He needs to focus or he will end all over Jensen again and they _really_ need to discuss this first.

The idea that he can do _everything_ with Jensen now is too tempting, and _God_ , does Jared want to. But this is important, Jared just remembered and Jensen needs to hear this.

It takes Jensen a moment to understand what Jared is talking about, expression confused until his questions from the other day seems to come back to his head. It’s everything he asked about Stephen that Jared couldn’t answer back then.

But Jared can now.

“I don’t love him.” Jared whispers, smiling again. Jensen’s eyes seem to light up instantly, like Jared just told him the magical words to solve all the problems in the world. It’s even better than the look Jensen gets whenever he talks about stealing something new, better than that proud cockiness after flawlessly pulling a job. It’s nothing Jared has seen before and it makes him want to keep going.  “And I’m sure as hell not getting married to him.”

Jensen let’s out the mix of a laughter and a scream of celebration, suddenly tightening his hold around Jared’s waist and picking him up. Jared squeaks in surprise, laughing nervously and holding onto Jensen’s arms as he puts him on the kitchen counter so Jared is sitting down while Jensen positions himself between Jared’s legs.

Looking down at Jensen, Jared smiles once again when Jensen cups his face and strokes his cheeks, staring up and down at Jared like he can’t believe what he just said.

Jared is not even done. And Jensen’s going to _love_ what’s coming next.

“You asked me back in France why I didn’t have the engagement ring.” Jared keeps on going and Jensen nods, paying full attention to him. The way he’s looking at Jared is almost making him blush, suddenly remembering how amazing it always felt to be the center of Jensen’s world. Just like Jared has always felt about him. “Well, I know now. It’s because it didn’t feel right; because I could never love Stephen the way I love you.”

That’s the last thing Jared gets to say.

Jensen is the one who’s all over him a second later, using the hold on his face to pull Jared down into a new kiss. It’s less sweet than the way they kissed back in France, but Jared knows they are not going for sweetness right now. That’s not what he wants in this moment and the way Jensen biting and licking into his mouth indicates he probably agrees with Jared.

They are past sweet kisses by this point. They want much more now that they can.

The realization that he hasn’t slept with Jensen in five years seems to suddenly buzz in his head, making Jared hold onto him harder and wrap his legs around Jensen’s waist. Jensen was his first, he taught Jared every single thing he now knows how to do in bed and also learned everything that could drive Jared crazy.

And wanting Jensen to spread his legs and get on top of him hasn’t changed in all the time they have been apart.

Letting out an excited gasp against Jensen’s lips, Jared realizes Jensen could as well fuck his brains out in that moment it would be fine. _He doesn’t love Stephen and he’s not marrying him anymore_. Jensen loves him as much as Jared does and they can finally be together again.

God, Jensen _better_ fuck his brains out after such a long time.

“Fantasizing before we get to the real action, Jay?” Jensen suddenly sing-songs in his ear, sliding one hand down Jared’s chest and between his open legs, groping Jared’s crotch, making him groan and buck into Jensen’s hand. “What were you thinking about already?”

Jared smirks before biting his lower lip, feeling his dick twitch in his underwear as Jensen keeps on pressing his hand down.

“Only that you haven’t fucked me in a really long time.”

Jensen’s eyes seem to get a darker in that second as he stares back at Jared. It might be his imagination, but Jared can almost swear he can see the sudden _want_ mixing with the usual green.

If they are going for it after so long, Jared wants the best he can get. And he has always known that riling Jensen up a bit beforehand always works out. Especially for sex. Just to spice things up a bit, have some well-deserved fun.

Nobody can blame him for wanting Jensen to screw him like there’s no tomorrow after so long.

“And I also wondering if you’re still good after all this time.” Jared shrugs, faking innocence as he spreads his legs even more. “You know, now I actually have _others_ to compare your performance to.”

It works like a fucking charm.

Jared hits the wall behind him, still sitting down on the counter, after Jensen almost pushes him back and basically mauls him there. Jared is not touching Jensen anywhere anymore, both of his hands locked over his head as Jensen holds him by his wrists, keeping him in place. Jared pants, suppressing his need to full-on whine for more.

Jensen manhandling him just after admitting he’s always been in love with Jared seems like a wet dream taken right out of his best fantasies.

“You really are the same little brat, aren’t you?” Jensen groans against his lips, pressing Jared against the wall even harder, getting a new moan out of him. Jared can almost sense the waves of possessiveness oozing out of Jensen, like he’s so unable to control himself he might as well combust. “Want to compare me to your fancy fiancé, Padalecki?”

“Ex-fiancé.” Jared corrects in a heartbeat, which makes Jensen smile smugly, nodding along.

“Well, it’s a bad idea to try to compare me to your _ex-fiancé_ , sweetheart. We both know he never fucked you how you deserved it, mister we-don’t-even-share-rooms.”

It’s true. What had angered Jared the most when he and Jensen had discussed in that motel room back in Washington was that Jensen was spot on about Jared’s sex life.

Not like Stephen was bad in bed, he sure did his best. It was always clear he tried to make Jared get there and really enjoy himself whenever they had sex.

But comparing how Jared felt whenever Jensen would get on top of him and made him beg for it to Stephen’s vanilla sex would be plain stupid.  

Even so, Jensen doesn’t need to know that. At least not right now.

Jared shrugs innocently enough again, raising both eyebrows.

“I don’t know. You were the only guy I ever slept with back then, but now I’ve got Stephen in the list.” Jensen look of pure and palpable need to make Jared never say that again is making his head scream _want, want, want_. Like Jared can’t wait for Jensen to rip his pants off and make him shut the fuck up. _Boy, is Jared going to enjoy this_. “You’ll have to really put on an effort if you want me to forget I ever let Stephen get on top of me.”

Jensen grabs Jared by his hips and drags him back to the edge of the counter, starting to kiss him once again, and making sure to add teeth in the middle of it this time around. He bites and sucks on Jared’s lower lip until Jensen is convinced are going to look swollen and puffy the next day. Jensen huffs something that sounds like _“you insolent pretty thing”_ between kisses, but Jared’s too into the make out session and too distracted by getting a hard on between his legs to complain.

Before he is sure of what’s going on, Jensen is wrapping Jared’s legs around his waist to then pick him up. All while they are still eating each other’s mouths.

Jared hums his approval at Jensen’s obvious display that _yes, he can still carry Jared around_ and _yes, even if Jared’s slightly taller now, Jensen is still stronger._

Placing his arms around Jensen’s neck, Jared keeps on pressing kisses to his lips, even leaving some here and there on Jensen’s cheeks and nose too, making Jensen laugh as he carries Jared into the living room, sitting on the couch and leaving Jared on top of him.

Moving over Jensen’s lap, Jared makes sure to straddle him properly. Jensen doesn’t take his eyes off of him as he does so, hands stroking Jared’s hips and giving him time to get comfortable.

And Jared uses the chance to take his sweet time, enjoying the simple pleasure of Jensen’s hands on him. He missed the casual touches after they used to be so common between them.

“Done, your majesty?” Jensen teases with a smirk, holding Jared down by his hips.

“Shut up,” Jared smiles, “Stop calling me that. And yes, I’m fucking don—”

He gets cut off before he can finish, with Jensen getting a handful of his hair and pulling Jared down onto his lips. Jared moans pitifully, but he can’t get himself to bother about hiding how turned on he is, feeling Jensen’s hands slide under his shirt, fingers raising goose bumps on his skin. Jensen’s hands are warm and know exactly where to move to have Jared panting against his lips in record time, not knowing what to do himself.

Jared’s head is all over the place, enjoying Jensen’s touch and his lips—now on Jared’s neck—way too much to concentrate and do something too.

Jared curses out loud when he feels Jensen pulling and rubbing his nipples, pressing himself closer to Jensen’s body and feeling his underwear too tight around his hardening cock. Jensen laughs into Jared’s ear, taking advantage of their position to bite down onto Jared’s neck and suck around the skin, trying to leave a hickey someplace extremely noticeable for Jared to hide it later.

Joke’s on him. Jared loves bite marks and he won’t want to hide it anyway.

“You’re taking— advantage—” Jared pants, trying to get a grip of himself. “Because you know what I’m into. That’s cheating.”

Jensen hums, lips pressed against Jared’s neck, kissing around the teeth mark as it starts to turn red.  

“It’s not cheating. It’s winning.” Jensen answers ridiculously. That doesn’t even make any sense. Unless Jensen is taking this as a competition to prove he can fuck Jared better than Stephen ever could. Which, knowing Jensen, is probably what’s happening right now. “And I’m so good you don’t seem able to do anything beyond moaning for it…” Jensen kisses his neck another two times before pinching Jared’s nipples with two fingers, making him whine. “Just how I remembered.”

Jared is both delighted and offended. _Fuck Jensen_. He can do much more than just sit there and moan for Jensen’s dick. He’s just a little out of it, surprised after such a long time without feeling Jensen’s hands on him just how he always wanted.

But Jared knows Jensen too and two can play this game.

Taking advantage of his position, Jared grinds down, making sure to rub his ass against Jensen’s crotch. Jensen takes a sharp breath at the sudden contact and Jared smiles, pressing down on Jensen’s clothed dick and feeling him get harder.

“Fuck,” Jensen curses against his ear, hands sliding out from under Jared’s shirt. “Playing dirty too now, are we, Jay?” He licks his lips, starting to unbutton Jared’s shirt so he can take it off.

“I thought you said it was _winning_.”

“Yeah, when _I_ do it.”

Starting to kiss down on Jared’s neck again, Jensen keeps on undressing Jared, taking off his shirt and throwing it behind them. Jared sighs and leans into the touches, hoping Jensen won’t stop.

It was hard to pretend for a long time that Jared didn’t imagine this, _them together_ , Jensen with him. Jared would be lying if he said sometimes he didn’t imagine Jensen when he was actually having sex with Stephen. It would always hit him like a punch to the stomach, making him come almost immediately whenever he opened his eyes and thought he saw Jensen over him instead of Stephen. Jared found himself thinking about Jensen sometimes when he jerked off in the shower, cursing himself and his libido when it worked to turn him on more than any other thought.

Jared would always want Jensen this way. Want Jensen to touch him, to kiss him and do whatever he fucking wants with him.

He’s surprised when Jensen grabs him by his shoulders and turns him around, pushing him down so Jared’s the one lying on the couch and Jensen is over him, hands at both sides of Jared’s head.

“What?” Jensen looks up and down at Jared’s naked chest, “I wanted an easier access. Gotta make sure to reach everywhere Amell ever dared to touch you.”

There’s no way Jared will argue against that, nodding his head as he feels himself get more and more turned on by every bit of display of Jensen’s possessiveness.

And Jensen is not joking about almost marking his territory all over again, starting to kiss and bite down Jared’s chest, leaving bite marks wherever he feels like it. Jared becomes a real mess when Jensen seals his lips around his right nipple, licking and biting around it until Jared is pulling on his hair and screaming Jensen’s name. And Jensen only bites down even harder, with Jared squirming and panting nonsense under him.

“Jensen, fuck, come on!” Jared whines, toes curling and back arching as Jensen licks around his swollen nipple. He’s not sure what he’s asking for exactly at this point. All Jared knows is that he _wants_. Whatever Jensen will give him, he’ll take anything. “Oh God! Fuck!”

“I’m just getting started,” Jensen looks up at him, lips brushing Jared’s pecs. “I won’t lie and say I’m not just dying to fuck your sweet perky ass.” Jared moans at that idea, squirming under Jensen again. “Just watching you like this is hard enough, you really have no idea how much you affect me, Jared. All these days around you and not being able to touch you have been driving me insane.”

Jensen moves his lips down Jared’s torso, tongue leaving wet trails until he passes Jared’s belly button and starts to follow his happy trail. Jared swallows, heart beating so hard it feels is going to bust out of his chest. Jensen’s face is getting so close to his dick it might make Jared come in his boxers, completely untouched.

“You were mine back then, only one who ever saw you like this.” Jensen presses two more kisses to his skin and snaps Jared’s jeans open with one hand, making him gasp in surprise. “But then I saw you again and I didn’t know if you were mine at all. The idea of that prick of Amell putting his hands on you made me want to go find him to break his face.”

Jared can’t help but laugh at the moment, shaking his head. He’s glad Jensen’s jealousy hasn’t changed one bit.

Jensen smacks the side of Jared’s ass for his troubles, fake offended that Jared would chuckle during his very serious talk about wanting to kill Stephen for touching him.

“So, anyway,” Jensen huffs and Jared chuckles again, stroking Jensen’s hair while Jensen pulls down the zipper of his pants. “You have no idea how bad I want you, Jared. So I could just go for it right now, turn you around and _fuck you_. But that wouldn’t be fun. I haven’t done this with you in so long and I wanna take my time…”

He trails off, starting to pull down Jared’s jeans along with his underwear, and suddenly Jared feels like too much is happening at once. It's almost like he’s younger all over again and he’s getting naked in front of Jensen for the first time. Jensen has seen him before, of course, but this is somehow different. _They have changed_. Jared might not look the same.

He’s taller now, his hair and bangs are longer, his personality has changed a little and perhaps his body has too. Jensen might not like him as much as before, might not find him as attractive as Jared was. Jensen said himself he had slept with others too, with more in his list to compare Jared to, he might realize Jared was never as attractive as Jensen thought.

His jeans and boxers end around his ankles and Jared is almost covering himself by this point, face suddenly burning red as he looks down, shy and hoping Jensen won’t be disappointed with what he sees.

And Jensen leans forward, lips close to Jared’s ear as he speaks.

“Jay,” He breathes out, making tingles travel down Jared’s back. “You’re so fucking beautiful. Just how I remembered.”

Jared presses his eyes shut, trying to control either his breathing or the beating of his heart.

Jensen bites onto Jared’s earlobe and he whines, arching his naked body against Jensen’s. He almost wants to ask if Jensen’s sure. If he means it, if he wants Jared the same way he did back then and not even that has changed. Jared is a people pleaser, and Jensen has always been the one Jared wanted to impress the most. All he ever wanted back then was for Jensen to feel the same way Jared did, to want him just as much and feel just as desperate whenever they were together like this.

Almost like Jensen can sense Jared’s insecurity, he grabs Jared’s right hand and presses it between his own legs. Jared takes a sharp breath and snaps his eyes open, feeling the outline of Jensen’s hard dick against his palm.

“Can you feel what you do to me now?” Jensen whispers in Jared’s ear, sweet like honey, deep Texan drawl making Jared almost melt in his spot. “You have no idea, Jay. I wanna eat you up, you’re so fucking hot.”

Jared bites onto his lower lip, feeling his face, ears and even chest burning up. He nods, incoherent, fingers shyly trailing down the line of Jensen’s clothed cock. It’s flattering to know Jensen is almost in the same state as he is, the only difference being that Jensen can handle it a little better than Jared does.

Looking down at himself as Jensen rub his left thigh—and so goddamn close to Jared’s aching dick—Jared is not surprised to see how hard and turned on he is. He’s pretty sure he’s going to come the second Jensen puts a finger on his dick, but when Jared looks up and Jensen has a smug little smile on his face he gets the feeling that touching his dick isn’t in Jensen’s plans just yet.

“Turn around on the couch, sweetheart.” Jensen commands, voice shooting down Jared’s spine and making pre come leak onto his underwear. “And get on your knees. It’s been far too long since I made you come from eating that sweet ass of yours.”

It takes all of Jared’s self-control to not come in that moment from Jensen’s words alone. He groans, biting on his lower lip until it hurts, nodding along. _Yes, please_. That’s what he wants to say and then get face first on the couch and present his ass to Jensen so he will straight out fuck him with his tongue.

But Jared wants to do some teasing as well.

If he can’t be coherent enough to tease as perfectly as Jensen does, he’ll have to do it how he can.

Jared kicks off the rest his jeans and underwear from around his ankles, along with his shoes and socks, turning around on the couch as slow as he can. He does it as if he’s going to fall off if he rushes himself, dragging it out until Jensen lets out a desperate little huff and grabs Jared by the hips, turning him around completely and making him stay on his knees.

Jared smiles even if Jensen can’t see it now, arching his back just a bit so his ass is sticking out.

“Eager much?”

“Oh, just wanted to appreciate this view.”

The smack on Jared’s ass makes him moan in surprise, but neither of them bats an eyelid when Jared pulls back into the spank, silently asking Jensen to do it again. They both discovered Jared is quite into spanking back in the day when Jared almost fucked up during a job and Jensen decided that _punishing_ Jared during sex could be really fun. _And boy, was he right._

Jared’s sure he hasn’t gotten a good spanking in years. Maybe they can get into that later.

“My fucking God. I swear nobody has an ass like yours.” Jensen mumbles from somewhere behind him, brushing his lips over the curve of Jared’s ass. “Amell ever do this?”

Jared swallows, trying to concentrate as his dick pulses.

“Uh— just a couple times.” Jared mumbles, trying to remember. But thinking _rimming_ only makes his brain scream _Jensen, Jensen, Jensen_. “N-Not for long he— uh, he just wasn’t—”

“Yes?” Jensen encourages, pleased with himself, spreading Jared’s ass with one hand so he can rub his knuckles against Jared’s rim. Jared moans instantly, face burning and dick getting so impossibly hard that Jared swears he is going to die of blue balls.

“He wasn’t— _Jesus fuck, Jensen!”_ Jared groans when Jensen stops, knowing he’s only going to get what he wants when he spits it out. “Fine, fine! Stephen wasn’t good at it at all. Not like y-you. God, fuck, _please eat me out already.”_

The magic words work instantly. Jensen is more than pleased to hear Stephen couldn't even bring himself to eat Jared’s ass properly and he’s ready to prove that he’s still very good at it. Jensen uses his other hand to spread Jared’s ass cheeks and he just goes for it.

Licking a line from the base of Jared’s balls until he almost reaches his back dimples, Jensen only stops to press the tip of his tongue just for a second against Jared’s hole before he keeps going.

Jared grips the sides of the couch so hard he thinks he’s going to rip off the tapestry.

Jensen pulls back, both hands on Jared’s ass cheeks and then uses his thumbs to spread him open even more, staring down at Jared’s ass for a couple heart beats. Jared is about to lose all his remaining cool and almost ask in a yell what the fuck is Jensen doing _looking_ instead of _doing_ something, when Jensen leans forward and starts eating his ass just as good as Jared remembered.

Saying Jensen goes to town on him wouldn’t be enough to describe the way Jensen is eating him out. He has Jared full-on moaning loud and clear within minutes, arching back every time Jensen’s tongue drags over his rim. Jared is face first on the couch by now, almost drooling over the seat as he pants and feels Jensen start to fuck him with his tongue, hands keeping him spread open.

Jared whines as Jensen’s tongue does wonders behind him, feeling the palm of Jensen’s hand smacking his right ass cheek a second later. Jared moans Jensen’s name, dick dripping pre-come over the couch. But when Jared tries to get some relief by rubbing his dick against the cushions, Jensen hums against his ass and uses the hold on his hips to keep Jared up and away from humping the couch.

“J-Jensen, I—” Jared pants, not sure of what he wants, only knowing he wants something. His fingers twitch and close around the cushions, head almost rolling and making him dizzy. He’s so turned on it’s ridiculous, dick arching against his belly.

But that’s not all, he’s not only stupidly horny thanks to Jensen by this point.

Jensen pulls back after pressing the tip of his tongue to his rim one last time.

“Yes?” Jared can’t see him but he can practically hear the smile. “What is it, Jay?”

The nickname sends tingles down his spine and Jared sucks on a gulp of air, once again using all his concentration to not come on Jensen’s words alone.

He wishes he could turn around to see Jensen, so he could see him. Then Jared could— “I want to touch you.” Jared whines, desperate and not giving a fuck anymore. _That’s it._ That’s what he wants.

He loves everything Jensen is doing but _fuck_ , he want to touch Jensen back. He’s dying to.

His reply seems to actually make Jensen stop and consider Jared’s request, thinking about it. Jared uses the small break to control his breathing and try to get a hold of himself. He knows Jensen might as well just keep teasing him in a second, Jared remembers well enough that when it comes to pleasing Jared and driving him insane, Jensen will take his sweet time and won’t care that he’s not getting any relief himself.

But as much as he’s enjoying what Jensen is doing to him, Jared wants to make Jensen feel just as good.

“L-Let me ride your face.” Jared breaths out, request sudden and unexpected even for him. The idea crossed his mind and he was spitting it out before he could stop and consider it. _Who gives a fuck anymore?_ This might help him convince Jensen and soon enough get him what wants.

His face is on fire after fully asking Jensen to let him sit on his face, and they have done that before, but Jared is five years rusty on the _begging Jensen for kinky_ _sex_ department.

Jared doesn’t hear any type of answer for too long for it to be normal, and he’s about to look over his shoulder and tell Jensen to forget about it—who knows, Jensen might not be into it anymore—when he feels Jensen’s hands gripping on his hips and turning him around on the couch.

One second Jared is face down and the next one he’s facing up, looking into Jensen’s eyes. And Jensen has _that_ expression Jared remembers. Both _full-of-himself_ but _horny_ expression that would always tell Jared that whatever he was going? It was working on Jensen.

“Who knew that almost marrying that prick didn’t completely drain the kinky out of you.” Jensen smiles, licking his lips, making Jared follow the movement of his tongue while his brain repeats _“he was just fucking me with that”_ over and over again.

It’s almost incredible that Jared is still holding on and not coming yet, yet he’s sure that this time around no self-control is going to help him if he gets to ride Jensen’s face how he wants to.

“Guess w-who’s fault i-is that.” Jared stutters, unable to pretend he’s not dying after the best rimming session he has had in years.

Jensen leans in, pressing a kiss that ends to quickly for Jared to return it, and then he’s manhandling Jared on the couch again.

He makes Jared sit on his lap—which makes Jared suddenly realize that he’s completely naked while Jensen hasn’t lost any clothes at all—and then Jensen lays down on the couch, face up and with annoying little smirk on his lips.

Then, Jensen puts his hands behind his head, like he’s in the middle of the beach, and  raises both eyebrows at Jared.

“Come here and sit, then.” Jensen says in a daring tone, like he doesn’t believe Jared is going to do it. _Bastard_. The fact that Jared’s face is almost melting because he asked for it and Jensen is going to let him do it _does not_ mean that Jared is going to chicken out of it.

Jensen just has to be so fucking cocky even during sex too, of course.

He’s daring Jared to move from his comfortable spot, sitting on Jensen’s lap, to go and sit on his face instead.

Jared swallows and Jensen’s smile grows bigger. It’s like the _“I knew Amell made you a prude too”_ is appearing all over Jensen’s face, expression so full of himself it makes Jared take a deep breath and lift his chin up, full of pride.

Well, fuck Jensen. Jared’s not a prude. All Jensen has done this trip is tease Jared here and there, make him blush, make him nervous—and sure, Jared loves it, but he hasn’t had the chance to prove Jensen he can be more than a stuttering and blushing mess.

Stephen didn’t make him a prude, how _dare_ Jensen even _think_ that.

Did he forget all the different things they would get up to five years ago? Jensen is probably convinced Jared blacked it out or something.

Well, Jensen is wrong. Jared is _game_ and he’s going to _show_ him.

Letting out a harsh breath, Jared swallows again and moves from Jensen’s lap, standing up and next to the couch. Jensen arches an eyebrow, like he’s waiting for Jared to do something. Jared is well aware he must look ridiculous, standing naked next to Jensen trying to make a defiant face while Jensen is lying down on the couch, fully dressed and confident.

But he doesn’t care anymore, Jared is going for it.

Walking some steps to he’s standing next to the couch, Jared tries to utterly ignore the eyefuck Jensen gives him, knowing he’s just trying to make Jared nervous. So Jared bites his lower lip as he climbs back on the couch, but this time full-on straddling Jensen’s face. He presses his hands on Jensen’s chest at first to get some balance, kneeling on top of Jensen, legs at each side of Jensen’s shoulders as all Jared can think for a second is _“thank fuck this couch is so big”._

At least he’s not facing Jensen. At least in this position Jensen can’t see Jared’s face turn absurdly red.

He doesn’t get to sit down on his own accord though. Before Jared can go for it, Jensen is grabbing Jared’s thighs and _making_ him sit on his face.

The next thing Jared feels is Jensen’s tongue, dragging over his rim before he starts to eat him out just like before.

Jared whines instantly, digging his nails on Jensen’s chest and arching back into the feel of Jensen’s tongue fucking into his hole. And Jensen groans between his ass cheeks, using the hold on Jared’ leg to pull him down even more, making Jared get scruff burns on the inside of his thighs from Jensen’s unshaved face.

It feels so stupidly good that Jared almost wants to grind down and rock his hips, rub his ass on Jensen’s mouth and get more of his tongue inside of him.

But in the middle of being a horny-moaning mess, Jared remembers that he asked Jensen to let him ride his face for a reason.

Looking down at Jensen’s pants, Jared leans forward, ignoring the funny noise of surprise Jensen makes against the skin of his asscheeks. Jared tries hard to ignore anything that doesn't involve unzipping Jensen’s jeans while he’s upside down, pulling the pants down along with Jensen’s underwear so Jared can suck Jensen’s dick into his mouth.

He only stops to appreciate the view of Jensen’s cock right in his face for a couple seconds.

Maybe Jared is biased by the fact that none of the guys he ever had sex with compared to Jensen in performance or size, but Jared can almost swear Jensen’s dick is bigger than the last time Jared saw it. Jared can still see the same freckles on it—that he always liked to kiss and lick during blowjobs—but he swears to God that Jensen’s dick is thicker than before.

There’s no way Jensen can’t feel his inner muscles squeezing around his tongue when Jared suddenly imagines Jensen putting his dick inside of him, the idea alone making his hole clench.

It just last a moment though, a few seconds of staring at Jensen’s hard dick while thinking _“I’m gonna get me some of that”,_ before Jared licks it from base to head, circling the slit with his tongue before sucking Jensen’s cock inside his mouth.

Jensen’s instant muffled moan is like music to Jared’s ear.

Granted, Jared has lost some practice. And giving a blowjob in the sixty-nine position is not the most comfortable way to do it, yet Jared tries his best.

Using his tongue as much as he can while he has Jensen’s dick in his mouth, Jared keeps bobbing his head up and down. All while making sure to moan around Jensen’s cock whenever Jensen does something especially good with his tongue, knowing the vibrations from the sound will feel good for Jensen too.

It’s like a little silent competition, trying to see how’s going to be the first one to call uncle and ask for them to just skip to penetrative sex already.

Jared’s thinking he just about had it, too horny from Jensen rimming him and sucking Jensen off—always one to get turned on giving blowjobs—, when he feels Jensen pulling away from him, placing another hard smack on Jared’s ass that makes him moan around Jensen’s cock and _almost_ choke on it, too.

“Fucking hell, Jared, let’s just go into it. If I don’t fuck you right now I’m going to come.”

Jared thinks about it. Jensen coming in his mouth might not be such a bad idea.

Making Jensen come first would boost his sex ego to the sky, but it would be ridiculous to think that he wouldn’t end coming too from feeling Jensen come in his mouth. Besides, Jared is _dying_ to get Jensen inside him, so, _fuck it._

They can leave the competition for another day. Jared won this round anyway because Jensen gave up first.  

So he pulls off, licking the strand of spit still linking his lower lip to head of Jensen’s dick.

“Fuck me, then.” Jared answers with a little smile, getting another smack on his ass as response. Jared almost wiggles at it, chuckling and hearing Jensen whisper another _“so fucking pretty but so fucking insolent, I swear to God”._

And of course the manhandling isn’t over, Jensen likes to show off that he can boss him around during sex—just sex though, Jared would give him shit to no end if Jensen tried to do it when they are stealing something together—so he lets Jensen go for it.

Jensen moves him around and soon enough Jared is the one lying face up on the couch, with Jensen on top of him, spreading his legs while they start to make out like before. There’s something dirty about the fact that Jensen was just eating his ass and Jared was sucking and licking Jensen’s dick and now they are kissing.

It just serves to make Jared even hornier.   

“Got— fuck, got any lube, baby?” Jensen mumbles against his lips, only pulling away to take off his shirt and throw it behind the couch.

Jared smiles, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, sure. I just carry lube around with me for all occasions. Fuck no, I don’t have any lube!”

Jensen pinches Jared’s sides, making him laugh and push him away.

“Smartass.” Jensen shakes his head, standing up from the couch and using the break to step out of his jeans and leave them on the floor. Jared watches Jensen walk semi-naked towards his luggage. He opens his bag a starts to throw everything out, trying to find something.

Jared licks his lips, inching his hand closer to his aching dick, yet Jensen seems to see it because he snaps _“Don’t you fucking dare, Padalecki!”_ while pointing at him without turning around.

Jared huffs, crossing his arms over his chest and making a face, waiting for Jensen to finish while whispering _“stupid thief senses.”_

It doesn’t take Jensen long to find whatever he’s looking for in his luggage,  throwing a bottle towards Jared—who of course doesn’t catch it an has to stretch over the couch to pick it up from the floor.

“You were honestly carrying lube all this time we were traveling together?” Jared asks in disbelief, shaking his head while Jensen walks back with a proud smile. “You were sure we were gonna end doing this, weren’t you?”

“What can I say? I’m irresistible.” Jensen jokes, winking at Jared while he takes off his boxers before claiming back on top of him. Jared tries really hard to not eye Jensen’s hard cock like he’s starving man, he doesn’t want to give Jensen proves that he is irresistible indeed.

“You wish!” Jared pushes him again, but Jensen grabs Jared wrist to pull him close, starting to kiss him once again.

“Hey, a man can dream and hope! Carrying lube was my wishful part thinking we might get together.” Jensen brushes Jared’s nose with his own, almost nuzzling him. “I didn’t expect the sex to come along with you saying you still love me, thought.”

“Right back at you.” Jared smiles, watching Jensen open the lube to squeeze a big dollop on his hand.

Because Jensen is a teasing asshole, he argues that he has to make sure to stretch Jared properly. So once again, he makes sure to take way too much time fingering Jared open.

By the time he has three fingers in and keeps finding Jared’s prostate every other trust with his hand, Jared loses it. He digs his nails on Jensen’s arm, cursing and throwing his head back while hissing _“Put it in or I’m going to kill you, Jensen!”_

“Always so romantic,” Jensen laughs, leaning down to kiss Jared’s lips as he pulls his fingers out, positioning himself between Jared’s spread legs. Jared smiles in return, watching intently as Jensen presses the head of his dick inside of Jared, making him hum pleasantly and ask for more.

Knowing Jensen how Jared knows him, he’s sure he’s going to want to be careful and go slow. But Jared right about had it with _slow_. He wants Jensen. _Now_. All of him inside, balls deep, every single inch. Nothing else matters beyond Jensen full-on fucking him.

Jared appreciates the concern but what he truly wants is to get this show on the road.

So the moment Jensen starts to slowly push his dick inside, Jared wraps his legs around Jensen’s hips and _makes_ Jensen slide all the way inside with one thrust.

They both moan at the feeling, with Jensen closing his eyes and leaving his mouth open, trying to get used to the feeling of Jared’s inner muscles squeezing around his dick. Jared pants, head thrown back and a smile spreading his lips, rocking his hips slowly as he tries to get used to the light pain from the rushed penetration. But he’s also way too happy with himself and the feeling of Jensen’s dick inside of him to really care for that little pain.

He knows he’ll be feeling good soon anyway.

“ _Jared—”_ Jensen groans with a warning voice, pressing their foreheads together while he strokes Jared’s hips. “You little _shit_. Are you okay?” Jensen moves his hand to rub Jared’s left leg wrapped around him. He’s worried about Jared, but his voice is sweet. “Hey, Jay, look at me. That was too fast. Are you alright? You want us to stop?”

“Don’t you dare.” Jared mumbles in return, pressing a kiss to Jensen’s temple. “I’m— fuck, I’m perfect. Never b-better.” He smiles, rocking his hips and making Jensen hiss at the sensation. “Now fuck me how we both have been wanting to for the past five years, Ackles.”

Jensen doesn’t need to hear it twice.

Using his hold on Jared’s leg, Jensen presses Jared closer before starting to pull away and then thrust back in, making Jared moan and hold onto Jensen.

He can barely believe this is really happening, being there with Jensen, together in some house in the middle of Spain doing what Jared never thought they would do again. Feeling Jensen this close makes Jared want to hold on and never let go.

Panting Jensen’s name, he slides his hands from around Jensen’s neck, stroking his shoulders before going down his collarbone. Jared stops right over an unfamiliar scar, fingers tracing over the irregular lines left after a messy medical procedure followed by bad stitching. It’s from the time Jensen got shot when they weren’t together anymore and it makes Jared’s chest contract and hurt, thinking of not being there by Jensen’s side when it happened.

Jared leans in, pressing his lips to the scar, starting to leave a trail of kisses until he reaches the end of the red line.

When he looks up, Jensen is smiling fondly at him. The real smile, _Jensen’s smile_. Not the thief smile, or the overconfident sweet charming one all the girls melt for. It’s Jensen’s smile, the one he only shows to Jared when he’s truly feeling it.

Jared brings one hand up to cup his face, kissing Jensen’s jawline between moans as he feels Jensen fuck harder and faster into him.

With how long they spent in the foreplay, Jared’s not sure he’s going to last that long now. One finger on his dick and Jared’s absolutely sure he’ll come on the spot.

“Can’t— believe I’m with you.” Jensen whispers, breathing hard against Jared’s right ear and making him curl his toes. The combination of Jensen’s voice while fucking him is going to drive Jared out of his mind _. “Jared.”_

He closes his eyes, breathing faster and harder- Jensen pronouncing his name like that makes something warm travel down Jared’s spine and settle on his stomach.

And then, Jensen finds Jared’s left hand and wraps two of his fingers around Jared’s fourth one, rubbing it and stroking it with his fingertips as if he’s playing with an invisible wedding band in Jared’s hand.

“I always knew I should have gotten you a ring.”

Jared doesn’t need a finger on his dick like he thought, the fantasy alone of Jensen fucking him just after the getting married is enough.

He arches on the bed and claws onto Jensen’s back, moaning his name out loud as Jared comes in between them, seeing white behind his eyelids. Jensen wraps his palm around Jared’s dick immediately, making him moan harder at the sensation as Jensen jerks him through his orgasm, still fucking into him and coming inside of Jared a couple seconds later.

Jensen groans Jared’s name and looks for his lip to kiss him. And Jared thinks he’s melting against Jensen’s mouth as they kiss over and over again.

“So…” Jensen starts after some minutes of nothing but lazy kisses. Jared feels him smile against his skin. “Sex between us is still fucking great.”

“Amen.” Jared chuckles, feeling his legs and lower back still tingling. Not that he ever doubted it. They were always so good in bed together, no wonder they were always all over each other.

“Then you should get ready for round two, sweetheart.”

Jared licks his lips, looking up at Jensen to find him grinning in return, eyeing Jared like he’s about to maul him.

“Are you sure you’re up to it?” Jared teases, ready to start pushing all the right buttons so Jensen will fuck his brains out once more. “Let’s consider you’re much older now.”

Jensen’s expression changes, eyes getting dark as he positions himself over Jared once more.

Jared smiles innocently and bites his lower lip, hoping Jensen might even consider a third round too.

 

 

—

 

 

The following days feels like someone pulled them out of Jared’s dreams.

There’s no more tip-toeing around each other, no more awkwardness or repressed anger. It’s all out there in the open after they both admitted how they felt and it’s pretty much everything Jared could hope for. There’s no need for him to be guilty over wanting to be with Jensen and Jensen doesn’t have to be angry and frustrated over Jared picking Stephen over him.

Jared puts his engagement ring somewhere in his wallet and doesn’t look at it twice, already planning how he’s going to hand it back to Stephen and call the engagement over. He has been joking about it with Jensen, wondering who will be angrier: Stephen or his mom, who probably already had another ten hideous paintings ready for the wedding.

“This is heaven,” Jared moans around a mouthful of scrambled eggs, eating breakfast in bed after Jensen woke up early to cook for him.

Jared is naked, of course, one of their activities since unofficially getting back together has been humping each other like they are horny teenagers or something. Talking, fucking, cooking and spending the best time of his life in the past years. That pretty much sums up how Jared’s days are going.

“What?” Jensen asks, confused for a second as he sips his black coffee. He’s only dressed in his boxers because nobody likes to cook naked. He had to put on something before going downstairs to the kitchen.

“The food!” Jared repeats, stuffing more eggs and a piece of sausage in his mouth, eating like a madman and even dropping some of the food from his mouth to the plate. He would have never been able to eat like that in front of Stephen or his family. But here, with Jensen, he’s comfortable enough to be kind of a pig.

Jensen chuckles, looking at him and leaning close with a napkin to clean Jared’s chin. They are both in bed, with Jared eating like he has been starved for a lifetime while Jensen drinks his burning hot coffee and reads the news.

Or _tries_ to read the news. The newspaper is all in Spanish.

“You probably had food cooked by a chef every single day for years since you got together with that idiot,” Jensen points out conversationally, proving once more than he will not stop calling Stephen names even if Jared is going to leave him. “What are you talking about? Those are just eggs.”

“Yeah but...is not the same.” Jared shrugs, biting a toast and then offering it to Jensen, leaving it in front of his mouth. Jensen gives it a bite without taking his eyes off of the newspaper, but then he purses his lips, to which Jared rolls his eyes but still leans in to kiss him before going back to eat his breakfast. “I mean, homemade food is different. It tastes better because—I don’t know, you went down there and made it for me. I like this more than any pretentious omelet a chef could make.”

Stephen would never in his life go and cook something for Jared. Sure, sometimes they would have picnics in the huge backyard of his parent’s mansion but none of it would be made by them, and whenever Jared said it would be fun to cook the picnic together, Stephen could snort and say it was a waste of time they could spend studying or working since he had someone hired to cook for him.

Jensen, on the other hand, has been cooking for Jared the past days and showing him all the new recipes he learned since they split up.

They have also been telling each other all they can remember from the time they were apart, not only the cooking recipes. They want to fill in the gaps from with the details of each other they don’t know.

Of course Jared has some general information from Chad passing it along whenever he asked, but it’s nothing too detailed. Jared tells Jensen everything he can remember from college: his classes, classmates, professors and how it felt to go have a “normal life” while hiding that he used to work stealing invaluable things. Jensen tells him all about the different places he visited and countries he went to that Jared has never seen before. Jared listen to Jensen’s him like he’s a kid listening the best bedtime story he has ever heard, excited and eager for every detail, feeling proud whenever Jensen gets to the parts where he manages to escape the scene no matter how difficult and dangerous.

They also talk about Jared’s grandmother and her death. Jared curls with Jensen in the living room and tries not to cry when he admits how much he misses her every day and how he wanted her to see him graduate from college. How badly he wishes she could see that they are together again.

“She always liked you.” Jared smiles sadly, looking into the hot chocolate Jensen made for him. With extra marshmallows because he knows Jared loves candies. “Kept telling me I should come back with you. God, she adored you.”

“I know.” Jensen nods, giving back the same sad smile Jared has. “The feeling was mutual, it was like...she was my grandmother too.”

She never knew exactly what Jared and Jensen got up to, the stealing, the hacking, all the illegal business, and when she saw the amount of money Jared brought home she said she didn’t want to hear a thing. Because if the police ever asked, it would be better for Jared if she had no idea. She believed in him enough to at least be sure it had nothing to do with drugs or murder, and she made Jensen swear up and down that he would protect Jared and keep him safe.

Jared got them a new apartment in a much better part of San Antonio—because she never wanted to leave that city—a better car and all the medicines, surgeries and doctor’s appointments she ever needed. She never had to beg for rent again because that place was in her name, and there was never a day she didn’t have enough food in her kitchen to feed an entire army if she wanted to. Jared made sure his Nana never missed a thing she needed on her last years of life, that she was happy and as healthy as possible.

“The day of her funeral we got this huge flower arrangement with all her favorites, the type she would have loved to see. It didn’t have a name and nobody claimed it was from them.” Jared leans his head on Jensen’s shoulder and Jensen hugs him back tightly. “And then, when I went to pay for the funeral arrangement, they said the costs had been paid for but wouldn’t tell me who did it. I asked Chad and he said he had no idea either.”

There’s a long silence where neither of them adds anything after that. Jared’s Nan died during his second year in college. He already knew Stephen but they weren’t exactly dating yet; it happened during that year’s summer break and Stephen was travelling with his family when Nan died. He couldn’t make it to the funeral.

“It was all you, right?” It’s not exactly a question since Jared already knows the answer. Jared knows it wasn’t Stephen. It wasn’t Chad nor Chris or any of the other friends he made when he met Jensen. It had to be him. “Chad said he didn’t know, but—”

“Chad didn’t tell me when she died.” Jensen interrupts him, tucking some hair behind Jared’s ear. “I found out on my own. She was the only connection I had back to you, and even if I knew she wouldn’t tell me where you were or anything about your new life, I wanted to make sure she was alright. Not that you weren’t taking good care of her though.”

Jared pulls back, looking at Jensen in awe. He had no idea.

“I would have stuff delivered sometimes for her. That cake she loved for her birthdays, flowers for mother's day, chocolates from Germany or France whenever I had a job there.” Jensen chuckles, shaking his head. “I never put my name of them, but I think she always knew they were from me. And I would call her neighbors every now and then, pretended to be a family friend, so they would tell me how she was doing.”

As Jensen keeps talking, Jared feels his nose tingling as his eyes fill with tears. But he doesn’t feel sad anymore. Thinking about his Nan fills him with certain amount of sadness every time, but it’s different now.

“I was in Russia when it happened. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it back on time, even if we weren’t even talking then.” Jensen tilts Jared’s chin up carefully, stroking Jared’s cheek. “I wanted you to feel like I was there with you somehow. I didn’t want you to feel alone, Jay.”

Jared presses his face between the space of Jensen’s neck and his shoulder, hugging him tight and holding him close. He couldn’t express to Jensen how much he loves him in that moment even if he tried. No amount of words or kisses could truly show Jensen how Jared has loved him with everything he is since the day they met, and how he has never stopped. And never will.

So he just hugs Jensen tight and closes his eyes, knowing that thinking about his Nan with Jensen right there with him won’t be as sad from now on.

“I’m not alone anymore.” Jared whispers, feeling Jensen kiss his forehead. “I’m with you.”

And Jared plans to keep it that way forever.


	7. Chapter 7

—Chapter  7—

 

The call happens a few mornings later.

They have barely been in Spain for two weeks, mostly staying at their rented house. They don’t have any plans of stealing anything there, but you never know, Jensen might get the idea.

Other than that, they go shopping for food every now and then, but they are mostly trying to stay hidden away. Jensen’s informants have been telling him that they lost all track of Pellegrino; Chad has contacted other hackers and they have been trying to hit all their face recognition programs to find him somewhere, but there’s nothing. It’s like the guy disappeared in thin air.

Jensen has been getting worried about the guy travelling back to Europe so that makes him want to hide and protect Jared more than before.

Stephen’s family are still convinced Jared is kidnapped, even more after Pellegrino's cryptic call to Stephen. Thinking they weren’t secure enough at their house and that whoever took Jared—who, for them, was clearly just an initial bait—was planning to take someone with actual value from their family, they decided to leave the place. They left their house to go somewhere else two days ago, so Chad has no way to keep up with their calls or security anymore. He has been trying to locate them but Jared told him to worry more about finding Pellegrino since he’s probably won’t do anything to Stephen’s family now that he knows they don’t really give a fuck about Jared.

Jensen is in the middle of cooking them breakfast while Jared sits on the kitchen counter, only wearing one of Jensen’s shirts and his boxers, watching him cook, when they hear Jensen’s phone ring. Chad has been calling them lately—especially after finding out they were back together, that call took hours—so Jensen asks Jared to pick up so he won’t get the phone screen smeared with oil.

Jared takes the call without even looking at the screen, ready to ask Chad if maybe their next hiding place can be close to the beach.

The way his body tenses when he hears the voice at the end of the line and how his smile drops off of his face must tell Jensen something is wrong, because he turns off the stove and stops cooking, looking at Jared with a serious expression.

“Jared?” He whispers, frowning. “Who is it?”

Feeling like he’s about to throw up, Jared just stares at Jensen with a terrified face as he hears a clear British accent at the other side of the call saying _“I knew Ackles went looking for you, the sneaky little rat. Should have shot him dead years ago.”_

Jared covers his mouth, now really sure he’s going to puke all over the kitchen floor, looking at Jensen with such worry it must make it all click in his head.

“Hang up!” Jensen yells, just at the same time Pellegrino whispers back _“Don’t you dare, Padalecki. Or I’ll kill someone you care about right now.”_

Shaking his head slowly, Jared stays on the phone, gripping it so hard his knuckles are starting to turn white.

Jensen grabs his face with both hands, trying to keep Jared calm as he hears Pellegrino breath deep and slow in his ear. How did he get Jensen’s phone? Is he tracking the call right now? Or does he know where they are already? How close is he?

How long until he gets there and kills them both?

Jared turns instinctively towards the door, ready to cover Jensen with his own body at any moment.

“Jared, look at me.” Jensen insist, mouthing the words so Pellegrino won’t hear him. He strokes his hair, soft and slow, trying to bring Jared back to reality. “I’m right here, Jay. I’m here.”

Following the movements of Jensen’s mouth as he enunciates slowly, Jared nods numbly, now realizing his hands are shaking. Jensen nods back at him, holding one of Jared’s hand and squeezing it to prove his point. _Jensen is there and Pellegrino is not_. Jared is not alone. Jensen is with him.

“Put him on speaker.” Jensen mouths now, understanding that if Jared didn’t hang up yet it has to be for a reason.

Nodding again, Jared pulls the phone away from his ear slowly, hand shaking so bad he’s worried he’ll throw the phone to the floor and cut the call by mistake. Jensen helps him right away, taking the phone from his hand and leaving it on the counter, so Jared can put the call on speaker more easily, holding his breath.

They look at each other in silence, now both of them hearing Pellegrino breath.

“I-I’m not hanging up.” Jared whispers, not knowing what else to do to get that psycho to spit out what he wants already

_“Good, that would be so impolite from you, Jared.”_ Pellegrino agrees on the other side of the phone. “ _Or should I call you Tristan?”_

Jared looks up, finding Jensen’s equally worried stare. The only difference might be that Jensen also looks furious. Jared is not surprised Pellegrino knows his fake name though, Stephen did say it when Pellegrino called him. He swallows, trying to bring himself to calm down and think why Pellegrino would want to call instead of just finding them and killing them, since that’s what he wants.

Tipping them off about knowing Jensen’s phone could give them opportunity to escape again, it doesn’t make sense.

_“No answer? I like to make my research about anybody who I’m planning to kill, makes it more fun.”_

Jensen slams one fist on the counter and Jared stops him before he grabs his phone to probably smash it against the wall. Pellegrino said something about a bad thing happening if they hung up. What if that asshole has Chad, or Chris, or Danneel? He could have someone they care about, so for now they need to keep playing his game.

_“Was that Ackles?”_ Pellegrino laughs, and it brings such amounts of fear to Jared’s nerves that he feels like throwing up again. He hates the sound. “He should have thought better before stealing from me if he didn’t want anything to happen to you, Jared.”

“That was years ago!” Jensen groans, fighting to get free from Jared’s hold. Jared squeezes his wrists tighter, trying to make Jensen stop. “You leave Jared out of this! I’m going to kill you if you try to do something to him!”

_“Please, don’t be ridiculous. The only one who’s going to kill someone here is me. And you two might not even be the first ones.”_

That makes Jensen stop fidgeting and Jared let go of his hands, heart sinking from his chest to his stomach, starting to think the worst. So, it’s true. He has someone. Jared can count with the fingers of one hand the amount both him and Jensen care about. They never wanted to drag any of their friends into this.

_“You see, I had a little chat with someone some days ago_.” Pellegrino keeps on going, clicking his tongue. _“And I was very disappointed to find out that your lovely fiancé had no idea of who you really were. But just because that boy doesn’t love you enough, it doesn’t mean you won’t give a fuck about him in return.”_

Jared covers his mouth with one hand, looking desperately from Jensen to the phone, hoping he’s wrong about this one. It could be all a lie, it can’t be happening for real. The Amell family was protected by security all the time after his supposed kidnap, they care about each other more than anything so Stephen’s dad would never allow Stephen to get taken or harmed in any way. Pellegrino is trying to push their buttons, see what makes them react and ultimately get them killed.

Thinking the same, Jensen shakes his head while looking at Jared, mouthing “It can’t be”.

_“You don’t believe me, huh?”_ Pellegrino hums, letting out another little laugh.

There are sudden, strange noises at the other side of the call, a door being pushed open and then muffled screams. Jared bites harder onto his lip, closing his eyes just for a second. _He’s playing with them, that’s what Pellegrino does._ Stephen being kidnaped would be all over the news, Chad would have seen it and warn them already.

_“Then you fucking pay attention to this. I don’t make empty threats. Not about this, and not about killing you two.”_

There’s another strange sound at the end of the line. Someone takes a deep, desperate breath, and starts calling for Jared.

Actually, it’s not exactly for Jared, is for _Tristan_. Stephen is calling for him, confused and asking what the hell is going on. There’s no mistaking his voice, that’s him.

Pellegrino got him, because he couldn’t find Jared or Jensen. So now he’s going to kill Stephen, who keeps screaming into the phone, demanding to let him go and asking if Tristan is there, if he can hear him. Jared closes his eyes, elbows on the kitchen counter before he hides his face between his hands. _He got Stephen_. For a moment Jared had been sure that after Pellegrino confirmed that Stephen didn’t care all that much for him, he was going to leave the Amell family alone. This is on Jared. He put Stephen on a dangerous place by ever getting together when he had such a dangerous past. It’s on Jared, for lying to Stephen and never giving him a chance to not accept to be part of his life after all he had done when he was younger.

Jared can only imagine what Pellegrino is going to do to him. He almost gags, covering his mouth and looking away for a moment, pictures of dismembering and torture flashing before his eyes.

He might not love Stephen or intend to marry him. But Jared got him in this mess. It’s his fault.

There’s a harsh sound in the call and then and scream of pain. Stephen’s screams die out immediately and Jared takes a sharp breath, hoping it wasn’t as bad. A punch is better than getting stabbed or shot.

Jensen is staring at him, expression unreadable. He’s just looking at Jared, maybe expecting him to lose his shit or even pass out at any moment.

_“Heard enough, Padalecki?”_

“H-He— just—” Jared mumbles, brushing his hair out of his face nervously and pulling some of the strands. “He has nothing to do...you know he doesn’t care—”

_“Oh, I know he doesn’t give a fuck about you, you orphaned waste of space.”_ Pellegrino snorts, like he’s amused by the entire situation. Jensen cracks his knuckles over the counter, trying to control himself. “ _But something tells me you do care, and that you won’t let this rich little fucker die for your fault. I’m tired of chasing you two cockroaches, so you better come find him or I’m going to be mailing his limbs to his family with your name signed on them.”_

The call dies out and Jared grabs the trashcan next to the kitchen door, throwing up inside of it.

 

 

—

 

 

For the fraction of a moment, Jared worried that Jensen would misunderstand his worry about Stephen and his intention to go find him and help him. He doesn’t want Jensen to think he does this out of love when it’s actually because of guilt. All Jared wants is to get Stephen safe and then they can deal with Pellegrino, but Jared cannot leave him there to die.

Even if Stephen wouldn’t be so kind about Jared’s safety himself, Jared wants to do the right thing about his soon to be ex-fiancé.

Jared grabbed Jensen wrist as soon as he calmed down from his panic attack after hearing Pellegrino's treat, trying to find the words to explain to Jensen why he needed to go help Stephen but also why that didn’t mean he was going to get back together with him.

_“I might not love him and I’m not going to marry him anymore, but even so...I got him in this mess, I can’t stand here and do nothing. I have to go help him.”_

Those were the words that Jared could find it to explain it as simple but concrete as possible, squeezing Jensen’s hand and wishing he wouldn’t let go.

All Jensen did was squeeze his hand back and say Jared wasn’t going alone. Jensen would come help Stephen too.

So they back their bags and are ready to go in less than an hour.

The flight back to the States passes like a blur.

Jared can’t sleep no matter how much Jensen insists he should, nervous and worried out of his mind, not knowing exactly what they are going to do when they get there. After discussing it for a while they decided that the only way Pellegrino would let Stephen go is if he saw them there. If they tried to trick him in any way Stephen could be dead within a second.

Jensen had tried to convince Jared to let him go alone to look for Stephen, he’s the one who stole from that British asshole and he’s the one who should pay for it. Jared got so mad at that suggestion and argued back in screams for so long that Jensen didn’t bring up that plan again. _Ride together, die together._

This is it. They have been hiding from Pellegrino for years but now they can’t run anymore.

Jared feels guilt for bringing Jensen along when he doesn’t really had to do this, he doesn’t owe Stephen anything. He feels guilty for Stephen and his family, for taking them into this mess.

Guilty for not regretting leaving with Jensen that night during the engagement party.

Jensen takes out his phone and calls Chad as soon as they land, letting Jared take care of their bags and all the paperwork while he speaks on the phone. They could only tell him to trace back the call from Jensen’s phone to know where Pellegrino was before they took the plane, no time to explain or give him more details.

But now they have to tell him more than that, explain what’s really going on.  

Jared fidgets by Jensen’s side while they wait in line to get their bags scanned and declare whatever they are bringing into the country. They have part of the payment from stealing that damn Egg hidden between their clothes, but Jared isn’t even worried about that. Not when they are planning to meet with a crazy mobster before the day is over.

“Chad, did you find the place?” Jensen starts, talking low and trying to not bring too much attention towards them.

There’s a pause and Jensen smiles for a second.

“Chris? I thought you were in Russia with Danny.”

Jared looks down, not smiling like Jensen but feeling relieved Jensen can speak with Chris for a while. He knows those two and Danneel have been friends for years, and perhaps discussing with them will help Jensen relax. He has been trying to remain calm for Jared’s sake, but he knows Jensen enough to be sure that it’s all fake. Jensen is an inch away from losing his shit. They are running straight into the wolf’s mouth after years of successfully avoiding it.

This entire plan was to keep Jared away from Pellegrino. And now it’s all going to shit.

Catching parts of the conversation, Jared hears Chris ask Jensen if he wants Chad and him to go help them out when they go looking for Pellegrino. He even offers to call up Danneel, who already left for Vegas days ago but who will want to join them for sure when she hears the plans. Chad takes the phone for a moment to tell Jensen what’s Pellegrino’s location (and probably Stephen’s too.) The signal of the call came from an old warehouse at the outsides of Washington D.C.

Taking Stephen probably didn’t happen long ago, since Chad couldn’t find any public reports about it, so the police was probably still investigating. It had to be in Washington too, he wouldn’t risk to fly Stephen somewhere else. Jensen knows how Pellegrino works.

Jared nibbles on his lower lip and keeps throwing glances at Jensen, who insists that Chad and Chris don’t need to get into it too, the more people go in the worst it can get. They don’t know what Pellegrino would do if they arrived with someone else. Is better not to piss him off.

“Chad? Would you put Chris back on the phone?” Jensen asks, interrupting Chad in the middle of his discussion of why going alone to meet that crazy asshole is a terrible idea. “Chris, good. I need to ask you for a favor.”

He walks away from Jared, not letting him hear what he’s discussing with Chris, pretending to go buy a soda from one of the vending machines. Jared plays with his passport nervously, looking from Jensen to the line. Jensen is probably asking Chris for ideas on how to handle this all, and Jared feels too all over the place to think too much into it.

As soon as they are out of the airport, Jensen is on thief mode once again. He says there’s no time to get a car or even a cab in the most “legal” way, so they steal one. Which would usually be a silly move, Jensen taught Jared from their first days together that stealing cars is one of the easiest ways to end in jail. It’s a beginner’s mistake. It’s never worth it to steal a car, not even it’s only to fly off the scene after stealing something much more complicated.

But he insists there is no time, the owner will take a while to notice and they only need it to get to the warehouse, they are not trying to keep it. Police will eventually find it when someone reports it as stolen.

Jared is almost numb by that moment, nodding and going along with whatever Jensen says, getting in after Jensen breaks one of the windows and uses the ignition cables to start the car.

_They are going to meet with Pellegrino_. As Jensen drives in silence to the direction Chad gave him on the phone, the idea becomes more and more real in Jared’s head. It feels almost unreal. All his survival senses are screaming for Jared to turn around and beg Jensen to leave. They can end up dead. But there’s no going back now. Jared wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he let something happen to Stephen for his fault and Jensen already made clear that there’s no way in hell he’s letting Jared go alone.

So they are just doing this. Driving towards the psycho who wants to murder them.

Feeling Jensen’s hand looking for his own and lacing their fingers together makes Jared take a deep breath and turn to smile at Jensen, stroking his thumb over the side of Jensen’s hand.

“I’m sorry I made you end up here, Jay.” Jensen whispers, looking straight ahead again. “This is all my fault.”

“You warned me when we got together. I knew all along and I didn’t care.” Jensen had made it very clear back then. What it could mean for them to get together, the dangers Jared could end up facing because of Jensen’s life. But he didn’t give a damn. Jared would have given the world to be with Jensen without caring for the consequences. “I still don’t care.”

Maybe it makes Jared a bad person, to choose having Jensen by his side over Stephen’s safety. If he could change the past and never meet Jensen so Stephen would eventually be safe and out of this mess, Jared wouldn’t do it. Never.

So maybe it does make him a selfish, horrible person. Maybe this life is getting to him. _Taking what they want and only caring for themselves_. Good people don’t do that.

But Jared would rather be bad than live a life without Jensen.

“I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Not even their breakup. It doesn’t matter to Jared anymore. All he cares is right there next to him in a stolen car, holding his hand. He’s with Jensen now, that’s what matters at the end of the day. He got what he always wanted, what he could only admit himself he wished for late at night when he was about to fall asleep. _Jensen_. That’s it.

“Jared—”

“I would always pick the last weeks we spent together over a lifetime of never seeing you again.”

Jensen is not driving anymore. They stopped in front of a warehouse that looks like haven’t been used in years a couple minutes ago. They are staring at each other’s eyes now, both of them thinking too many things at the same time. There’s so much to say, too much they could use that moment for. But nothing would be enough to express it all. Jared doesn’t need anything else.

So he leans in when he sees Jensen open his mouth, grabbing him by the back of his neck to press a kiss on his lips. He makes sure not let it last too long, sure that he won’t let go if they get too into it. He won’t want to get out of the car if he kisses Jensen for too long. That’s why he pulls back after a few seconds, leaving his forehead pressed to Jensen’s.

“Tell me that’s not a goodbye kiss.” Jensen whispers, opening his eyes and holding Jared’s face with one hand. “ _Jared_. Say it.”

“It’s not a goodbye kiss.” Jared repeats, nodding along and letting their faces rest together just for a little longer before pulling away, trying to keep his eyes on Jensen for as long as possible. “Let’s go.”

They get out of the car and walk towards the warehouse, not a single person or sound coming from inside or around the abandoned place. Jensen says they could go in from the back, even if they aren’t planning anything like getting away with some big escapade, but it still seems safer. And he’s realistic enough to know that no matter if Jensen is the best thief in the world, he can’t make Stephen disappear with them like he does with paintings. They will let Pellegrino know they are there and ask to let Stephen go and then work from there.

Jensen proposed giving Pellegrino all the money they both have, and that’s their best plan so far. Jared is almost surprised Jensen is going along with such a weak idea, but there’s nothing else they can do. No other options.

They make it in through the backdoor, Jensen walking in front of Jared and making him stop every now and then to check there’s nobody walking close. The place is probably filled with Pellegrino's security, but they want to go inside on their own if they can.

“We should split up.” Jared whispers, waiting with Jensen behind a wall as they listen, trying to hear any noises or steps.

_“What?” J_ ensen snaps his head back, looking at Jared like he lost his mind. “No way, Jared. We stay together. We don’t even have guns.”

“Exactly, we don’t have _anything_. Listen, we could have a chance if we split up and they only catch one of us.” Jared tries to explain, but Jensen is shaking his head stubbornly, not on board with Jared’s idea. “Pellegrino will think only one of us came and the other can use the distraction to look for guns or at least help Stephen get out. Come on. We have to put something in our favor here, Jensen. Staying together isn’t the best plan.”

Jensen seems like he’s considering but he’s _not_ happy with it. Jared is convinced is the best shot they got, and he knows Jensen agrees, but is almost going against everything Jensen is to let them go separate ways in this moment. Jared takes his hand, squeezing it like he did back in the car. They need to do this.

Jared doesn’t want to say it, but there are more chances he will be the one getting caught. Jensen has always been better at this, sneaking around, going in and out of places without anyone catching him. And Pellegrino said he wanted to kill Jared in revenge anyway. Maybe he will spare Jensen.

It doesn’t have to end with _both_ of them getting killed.

“I’ll see you soon.” Jared lies, not knowing if that’s something he can assure. Jensen sighs, distressed and still not on board with the plan but knowing Jared has a point. “This is not our last time breaking somewhere illegally together. I couldn’t even hack anything this time, is not fair.”

That pulls a weak smile out of Jensen, who swallows forcefully before nodding and letting Jared’s hand go.

Jared misses the warmth from Jensen’s hold immediately and he almost takes his hand again, but he stops himself before is too late. He looks at Jensen one more time before turning around, going into a different direction and hoping that if his plan works out, he’s the one who will get caught. Is weird that they haven’t heard any noises or seen anyone just yet, and walking around the huge warehouse on his own makes Jared’s mind set up on one idea alone: _he’s going to die._ There’s no way he can get out of this alive.

_But maybe Jensen will._ That’s what keeps Jared walking. That idea alone. Maybe after all this mess Jensen will make it out of here still breathing.

And that’s the last thing Jared thinks about before feeling a sharp pain in the back of his head.

 

 

—

 

 

Jared wakes up to the feeling of someone slapping him in the face, dizzy and with his vision blurry. He hears noises around him, sounds he can’t recognize, all muffled and far, far away.

For a good minute, Jared has no idea of where he is or what happened. The last thing he remembers is a restaurant with white chairs on the sidewalk. And someone talking to him, making Jared laugh. He knows that voice, but it feels like it’s coming from inside of his own head instead of the muffled sounds around him. Of course Jared knows it. He would recognize it anywhere in the world. _Jensen_. It’s Jensen’s voice. They are in Paris, it feels like Paris. Jared can almost hear people speaking in French around them. Jensen is in front of him, leaning close and leaving his hand over Jared’s. And Jensen is smiling, which makes Jared smile in return to the blurry image of Jensen behind his eyelids. Jensen’s there and they are having dinner. Jared hopes the night lasts forever.

The second slap to his face is so hard it makes Jared throw his head back and bang it against something. A wall. There’s a new muffled sound, like someone yelling. The pain on the back of his head is so real and sharp it pulls him into reality once more. He opens his eyes and looks around, everything looking distorted.

It smells like dust in there. And humid. As if someone left wet clothes inside of a box for too long.

The sounds are getting clearer but his ears are still ringing after the second hit. Jared tries to move, and that’s when he realizes he can’t. He’s sitting down on what he supposes is a chair, and his hands are tied behind him. His legs are tied too.

How could he be tied in when he was having dinner with Jensen a second ago? He shakes his head, movements slow and confused. Everything hurts so much, especially the back of his head. It feels like is getting burned. His face is throbbing and every time he tries to breath with his nose instead of his mouth he feels liquid going up his nostrils.

How could his date with Jensen end like this?

“Don’t fucking touch him!”

The yell is so sudden and clear that it seems to make Jared’s ears start working again, all the sounds coming back together at once. There are so many noises at the same time that it makes Jared’s head pound so hard he groans in pain.

He knows that voice. The voice at the restaurant. The smile in front of him.

“Oh come on, he’s fine.” This other voice is different. Is creeps in between Jared’s dizzy state and makes him want to gag. It’s not a good voice. “Aren’t you, Padalecki?”

There are two more slaps to his face, making him yell in pain when one of them lands in his nose instead of his cheek. The first voice, the good one, almost growls loudly and Jared can heard a struggle a second later and then a loud noise that makes the voice die out.

There is no scream of pain like his own after being slapped, just silence.

_Jensen isn’t making any noise._

It makes Jared snap his eyes open again, looking around and breathing hard through his mouth. His eyes are still adjusting to the light and he’s trying really hard to focus on what’s going on around him, sense hammering into his head and making him slowly remember what’s going on.

“Finally! Welcome to the land of the living!”

There’s a laugh that makes Jared’s blood run cold. _It’s Pellegrino_. He sounds like he’s only a few steps away, and when Jared feels like he can finally see clearly again he turns his head towards the place where the initial voice came from, desperately looking for Jensen.

He’s tied up, just like Jared supposes he is,  sitting down on an old chair. He’s awake and staring right back at Jared, face transfixed because of the rage. Jared doesn’t remember ever seeing Jensen this angry, yet his expression seems to soften when they make eye contact. Jensen’s lower lip is split open and Jared can see blood mixed with spit dripping down Jensen’s chin and neck. It looks like Jensen’s left eye is slowly turning black and swollen. Jensen got beaten up before they tied him up. Jared can now assume that the throbbing pain on the back of his head comes from the blow that put him out and the difficulty to breath comes from a broken nose. Maybe he got a couple punches to the face too, and it all happened while he was unconscious.

Jared stares at Jensen like it will make it all better, feeling more pain over the fact that Jensen is hurt. Jensen mouths _“Are you okay?”_ and Jared nods, barely so. He wants to make Jensen calm down before he gets more hurt for yelling at Pellegrino stop hitting Jared.

“And now that all my dear guests are awake, we can finally get this show on the road!” Pellegrino claps once before rubbing his hands together, big smile on his face. He only looks a little older than the picture Chad showed him one time. His smile Jared feel sick in the stomach. “But I was expecting a lovelier meeting between you and your fiancé, Jared.”

It’s only in that moment that Jared notices there is a third person sitting between him and Jensen.

Stephen is right there, tied up just like them. He doesn’t seem to be as hurt as Jared and Jensen are though, with only some scratches on his face and his left cheek looking swollen. At least Pellegrino has been holding all his rage for the two of them, Jared thinks.

Unlike him and Jensen, Stephen has his mouth covered with duct tape, and he’s staring at Jared like he can’t believe his eyes, mumbling and making all kind of sounds nobody can understand. Jared swallows some of the blood he feels pooling in his mouth and whispers _“I’m so sorry_ ”. He shouldn’t be there in the first place.

Pellegrino walks towards Stephen in that moment, who flinches and pulls back immediately. Jared holds his breath, watching the mobster simply grab the end of the duct tape over Stephen’s mouth and pulling it off harshly.

Stephen starts coughing immediately, taking big gulps of air before giving Pellegrino a stare that is a mixture of hate and pure fear.

“Stay away from me!” He orders, struggling with the ropes tying him up. That’s something that Jared and Jensen aren’t doing. They both know struggling could cause more damage and get them more injuries for not staying still. “Tristan! What the hells is going on? Who is this guy!?” Stephen turns towards Jensen, who utterly ignores him, looking from Pellegrino to Jared. It’s like Stephen is not even there.

Stephen groans and turns again to focus on Jared.

“And why the hell they keep calling you _Jared?_ ”

“Oh, boy!” Pellegrino grins, turning around to walk back to the table behind him where Jared can see different types of fire weapons and some knives too. Jared swallows, glad to see that at least none of them has blood on them. Yet. “You still don’t know? Amell, you’re going to love this story.”

Sitting on the edge of the table, Mark turns around and takes one of the knives, examining like is the most interesting thing he has ever seen.

“You see, your lovely fiancé over there.” He points at Jared with the knife, winking at him. “Has been lying to you all along. His name is not even Tristan. He changed it because he used to sleep around and play hacker with that rat by your side.” Mark points at Jensen now, who lifts his chin, nostrils flaring. “ _Ackles_. He’s a thief, they used to work together but when your sweet fiancé had enough they split up and he changed his name to hide his dirty past. His real name is Jared Padalecki. And nothing you know about him is true.”

Stephen has eyes only for Jared now, breathing deep and slow while he shakes his head, squinting at Jared like this is the first time he sees him.

“What?” He shakes his head again and then turns to Pellegrino. “That can’t be true!” Stephen yells, struggling to try and get free once again. “Tristan, what the fuck is he talking about?!”

_“Tristan, Tristan!”_ Pellegrino shouts, copying Stephen’s voice, mocking him. “Didn’t you hear me, you little idiot? That’s not his real name. Why do you think you’re here in the first place? I only wanted him and Ackles all along. Your fiancé wasn’t even kidnaped, he _left_ to hide with Ackles as soon as they found out I was coming for them. You’re just the bait.”

Pellegrino clicks his tongue, crossing his arms over his chest and shaking his head, like he’s deeply disappointed.

“And I wouldn’t be surprised if your future husband was banging with Ackles the entire time they were running away from me. All while you were  thinking the little fuck was kidnapped. They are the reason you got dragged into this, you idiot.”

Jared doesn’t know if Stephen is paying attention to Pellegrino at this point. His face is turned towards Jared, expression confused.

“You…” Stephen whispers, not sure what to call Jared anymore. “You— is that true? Everything he’s saying?”

Jared squeezes his eyes shut. This is the worst way he ever wanted Stephen to find out. Back in Spain when he decided he could only love Jensen, he thought about maybe sitting down with Stephen, having the chance to explain. To tell Stephen he never intended to use him, how Jared wasn’t trying to drag him into his life for troubles but rather trying to move on, thinking that’s what he wanted. But now is too late.

“Stephen,” Jared whispers. “I’m so sorry. I never wanted to—”

“You asshole!” Stephen snaps, not letting Jared keep going. “You motherfucker!”

Stephen is now struggling more violently with his restraints, almost falling from the chair as he curses and yells loudly. He’s looking at Jared like he’s dirt, the lowest piece of shit he ever had to deal with. And Jared doesn’t stop him or tries to defend himself. He deserves it. Stephen can spend the rest of his life hating Jared if he makes it out of here alive. Jared knows this is what he earned after dragging Stephen into this mess.

“You’re a fucking liar!” Stephen spits out, moving violently on the chair. “You ungrateful, fuck! You’re just a poor bastard who was going nowhere in life without me! I was going to make you someone, make something good out of life after being such a waste of space not even your parents wanted to keep you! But you were lying all along!” He screams even louder, looking at Jared like he wants to beat him up himself. “And now you dragged me into this, you idiot! This is your fault. I hope he fucking does it!” Stephen points at Pellegrino with his head. “I hope he fucking kills you and you get what you deserve, whatever-the-fuck your name is. I hope you fucking _die!”_

“Shut the fuck up!” Jensen growls from the other side of the room, making Jared snap his head up “Don’t you dare say that, you piece of shit. Jared came here to try to help you! We could have let you end up dead but he wanted to get you out of this mess!”

“What do I care what he wanted to do?!” Stephen argues in return. “Now we’re all going to die for your fault! I shouldn’t be here. You two should rot in hell, and I hope he kills you two first so I can eat least see it happen!”

As Stephen keeps on screaming, Pellegrino sighs and rolls his eyes, taking one of the guns from the table and then going straight for Stephen. He goes behind him, though, rubbing his temple with his free hand, like Stephen’s screams are giving him a headache.

That’s probably why he hits Stephen in the back of his head with the gun, making him fall to the ground, still tied to the chair and now unconscious.

“Anyway, enough of gossip central.” Pellegrino cleans some of the blood from the gun with his shirt and then makes his way towards Jared, who tenses up immediately, eyeing the gun.

Pellegrino stops right in front of him, grabbing Jared by his hair and forcing him to look up.

Jared groans and Jensen starts fidgeting with his restrains for the first time since Jared woke up. Breathing hard, Jared stares back into Mark’s face, heart thumping hard in his chest.

“Now let me ask you something, Padalecki.” He clicks his tongue and leans even closer to his face. Mark’s breathe smells like cigarettes and rotten eggs. “How does it feel knowing you’re going to die because Ackles had to get his irty hands all over my money? How do you feel knowing you’re going to die because of him?”

He forces Jared to turn his head towards Jensen for a second. Then, tugs on his hair again, making Jared looks straight at him, grabbing his face forcefully.

“Is it really worth it? All for a filthy street rat who thought he should make a living out of stealing rather than having the guts to put a bullet to his head after his parents died from drugs overdose? He’s a waste of space.”

Jared spits a mix of blood and saliva at Pellegrino’s face, sudden anger and hatred pumping through his veins, making Jared see red.

Mark pulls back, bringing his hand up to touch his cheek, fingers catching some of Jared’s red spit. He huffs in amusement and shakes his head before hitting Jared across the face with the back of his hand. The blow is so hard it has Jared seeing black dots, but he doesn’t give a fuck. He doesn’t even make a noise.

Jensen does, though, hissing for Pellegrino to get his hands away from Jared.

“Fuck this,” Mark huffs, pressing the barrel of his gun to Jared’s forehead. “You’ll die while Ackles watches me do it. And the last thing he will remember before I kill him too is how you look with a bullet on your head.”

“NO!”

The scream coming from Jensen is so loud this time around that it actually makes Pellegrino stop and turn to stare at him, expression amused.

Jensen has his eyes glued to Jared, expression desperate.

“You think this is fair game? Fuck, Pellegrino, you’re even more idiotic than back then when I stole your money like it was candy in a dollar store, you stupid fuck.” And then Jensen laughs in a way that doesn’t sound like Jensen at all. Is almost a maniac laughter. “You think we’re still together, that you killing him will be some kind of revenge? I’ll be out of here and stealing something from you again in the next weeks all over again. You really are a dumb fucker.”

Pellegrino laughs out loud, pulling the gun away from Jared and looking at Jensen with more amusement.

“Is that so?”

“Yes, it’s so, you idiot. We’re not together, I dumped him back in the day and when someone tipped him off that you were looking for him, Jared called me to help him hide.” Jensen grins, licking over his split lip. “After all, I’m the one who has always been able to run from you. So this is not a fucking revenge, you can’t even do that right, you dumbass. I was helping him out of business, nothing else. You think if I cared I would let him come here? I do what he tells me because he’s paying me, but I really don’t give a fuck.”

Jared knows perfectly well what Jensen is trying to do, and by the way Pellegrino's expression is not so amused anymore, looking rather angry for the first time, Jared knows Jensen is succeeding.

All this hunt Mark did to find Jared was to take something from Jensen that would hurt him, but if Jensen makes him think he doesn’t care for Jared, then Pellegrino has nothing on Jensen.

And that seems to be angering the mobster to no end, who is leaving Jared behind and going straight for Jensen instead.

That’s what Jensen wants. Pellegrino's attention so he won’t kill Jared.

“Fine, then!” Pellegrino yells, less entertained and now a little bit lunatic. “Even better. I got you here now so I’ll just kill you right away, Ackles!”

Jared feels fear and desperation like he never has in his life when Pellegrino stands in front of Jensen and presses the gun to his head. It’s like someone is scratching the insides of his chest, making pain pour everywhere.

There’s no stopping Pellegrino now. His expression alone tells Jared he is going to kill Jensen _now_. This is it.

And all Jensen does is turn to look at him, keeping eye contact while Pellegrino leaves the gun to his forehead. Jensen doesn’t seem scared or worried, not even a little bit nervous.

For a strange moment, Jared can almost see himself with Jensen years back, laughing and rolling in a motel bed together after escaping a dangerous job together. Jensen had almost got shot, but he had escaped the situation easily enough, grabbing Jared with him and making them leave the place before they could get hurt. Jared can remember Jensen getting on top of him and brushing their lips together while Jared laughed, holding onto him. He remembers teasing Jensen, holding his face in his hands and whispering _“What would you even do if you had a gun to your head for real? What then, Jensen?”_ All between pressing kisses to Jensen’s lower lip.

Jared feels the tears slide down his face as he starts to yell, begging Pellegrino to stop. He fights and shakes violently over his chair, calling Jensen’s name and screaming for Pellegrino to not pull the trigger.

Jensen, on the other hand, is not fighting, simply staring back at Jared, an almost imperceptible fond smile appearing on his lips.

Jared cries harder, because he can remember Jensen’s answer to his question. Jared can almost hear him as they keep eye contact, can see Jensen kissing him in return back in the motel room and saying _“That’s easy. If I ever got a gun to my head, I’d look at you. Just so I can die staring at what I love the most.”_

The struggle to get free makes Jared’s chair fall to one side, causing him to hit the ground painfully. Jared can feel his nose cracking after hitting his face against the floor, but the pain is nothing compared to the feeling of his chest being torn apart. And even on the floor, Jared doesn’t stop sobbing or yelling, crawling towards Jensen as much as he can, trying to keep looking into his eyes, calling out Jensen’s name like the world is falling apart around him.

Jensen forms a full smile for Jared, only for the fraction of a second. and then there’s the sound of a gunshot making echo in the old warehouse.

Jared screams so hard he thinks he’s throat is going to bleed out.


	8. Chapter 8

—Chapter  8—

 

 

The beeping of the machines is what ultimately makes him wake up.

Everything seems white at first. white and comfortable. He actually doesn’t remember being this comfortable in a while, a nice peaceful sensation making him want to roll over the bed and keep sleeping. He doesn’t feel hungry or tired, just comfortable. Maybe a little bit confused, too. He has no idea how he got to the white bedroom or why he’s there. He would usually have tons of things to do, not one to decide to take naps in the middle of the day. Blinking and trying to remember why he’s lying down he tries to move, shifting on the bed, just to realize he has something on his face that itches when he tries to move his head.

There’s also a slight pain on his right hand when he tries to pull his arm back.

Groaning, he brings his left hand up to his face, pulling away the small tube going over his face and into his nose. _Oxygen_. He shakes his head, more freely now that the annoying tube is off of him, trying to look around the room.

There are machines around him, apparently monitoring his heart rate. The thing that hurts in his hand is an IV slowly infusing liquids into his body.

Why on earth is he in the hospital?

“Stephen!”

Turning his head towards the door, he sees his mom worrying inside with her arms open. Her hair and makeup are a mess, like she has been crying and reapplying all day long.

Stephen can only open and close his mouth a couple seconds, not sure of what to say, before his mom is there, throwing her arms around him and giving him a soul-crushing hug. He winces, suddenly in pain. Two seconds ago he was fine, but now that she’s touching him and stroking his hair, he’s getting a horrible pulsation in the back of his head.

“Oh honey, we were so worried about you!” She cries into his shoulder, and all Stephen can do is hug her back, finding difficult to focus on anything that’s not the throbbing pain on his head.

His dad walks into a room a second later, talking loudly on the phone and coming to hug Stephen too, making as much of a fuss as his mom did.

Between his mom’s loud crying and his dad almost screaming on the phone while simultaneously trying to reach to Stephen and say how glad he is that Stephen is awake, the room becomes chaos in a second.

He hears something about press waiting outside to know how he’s doing.

His mom goes out to the hallway to look for some doctor to check on him and his dad goes back to yell more in the phone.

The pain on his head makes it hard to pay attention as he starts to get quick flashes in his mind, pictures that come and go before Stephen can really pay much attention to them. It’s like trying to put together an entire movie with fractions of each scene. Screaming, guys breaking into the place his family had been staying at for more security—ironic enough—, and then some shooting.

He remembers a guy talking to him, tying him up to a chair and telling him to wait. A guy with a British accent and a gun. Saying someone was about to come for him.

“Tristan.” He whispers, suddenly. But that’s not his real name, is it? _Jared_. That’s the name that crazy guy kept repeating. Jared. And Ackles, too. That other guy who was there telling him to shut up, who kept staring at Stephen like he wanted to beat him up when Stephen said— _what did he say?_ Closing his eyes again, he tries to remember.

 _Fuck_. He was mad because everything he thought he knew about “Tristan” was a lie.

He grips his left hand, cracking his knuckles and setting his jaw.

That other guy, Jensen, he was mad because Stephen said all this stuff about Jared deserving to get killed. Which, _fine_ , it was perhaps too much. But all this _Jared_ guy did was lie to him, probably to use him and his dad's position.

Of course, he made up an entirely new identity to cover up his horrible past so he could be together with Stephen.

 And sure, that Jensen dude also said that Tristan had appeared there to try and help him. But that doesn’t matter. Is his fault Stephen ended there in the first place.

“Honey?” His mom whispers, stroking his hair and giving him a worried look. “Are you feeling alright?”

His dad is not talking on the phone anymore and the room is in silence again. Stephen isn’t sure if he was quiet for too long or if they heard him say Jared’s fake name, but it doesn’t matter. Trying to change the topic of their conversation, he asks his dad to explain how he ended in a Hospital.

The lasts he remembers is screaming at Tristan and then getting knocked out somehow.

It’s enough to make his parents stop looking at him like he’s a charity case, sitting by the end of his bed and starting to explain what went down.

Apparently an anonymous source tipped off the police, calling to tell them they knew where Stephen was and who had taken him, giving them directions to get to the warehouse before hanging up the phone. It seems like the police got there when Mark Pellegrino—some British mobster, as his dad explains—was about to kill some guy who was there with Stephen and Tristan.

They shot and killed Pellegrino before he could harm the guy.  

“What happened to him after that?” Stephen asks, choosing to not use the name _Jensen_ out loud. The sudden memory of Pellegrino saying that _Tristan_ and _that guy_ were sleeping together is making Stephen stop feeling so guilty about wishing those two got shot.

“Actually, he discharged himself from this same hospital some days ago.” His dad keeps on going, making a face. “Police called for an ambulance and they brought all of you three here.”

“It was quite the scandal with all the doctors and nurses,” His mom adds, patting Stephen’s hand and letting out a huff. “The police has been trying to identify him, but couldn’t get any match for his face or fingerprints. And when he was healthy enough he just left! Everyone in the hospital has been gossiping about it when you were still here.” She adds with an annoyed voice, like the fact that anyone but her son not being the center of attention is outrageous. “The doctors said you were going to wake up soon and yet all they cared was about that other guy leaving!”

Stephen nods without looking at her, almost sure of what’s coming next, but he wants to ask anyway. And he would rather get his parents give him the answer immediately.

“And Tristan?”

His parents look troubled for a split second, exchanging and strange look and not answering his question. His mom starts playing with her hands and his dad huffs, looking for something in his pockets while avoiding eye contact with him.

“He left too, didn’t he?”

It leaves a sour taste in his mouth to even say it, angry to know anyone would prefer a common filthy thief over him.

Looking back at his mom and dad, they seem surprised that Stephen knows that part.

His mom is almost a bit relieved, too, like she’s glad she’s not the one who has to break the news that his ex-fiancé ran away with some guy that the police couldn’t even identify. _No fucking wonder they can’t_. If Pellegrino was right, and it looks like he was, that Ackles dude probably got all his information erased out of the map because he’s a thief.

“Tristan” himself could have helped him, since he’s apparently a goddamn hacker.

Stephen engaged to a hacker. He’s both angry and disgusted he ever proposed to him just as much as he hates that Tristan chose someone who is garbage compared to him.

“You were too good for him, anyway.” His dad says after a long silence and his mom nods along. “We always thought that but we didn’t want to say anything since it was your choice, Stephen. But he was clearly not suited for you. You need someone of your category, someone who—”

“Did he leave or not?” Stephen repeats and his dad stops talking. He looks at Stephen’s mom again and then sighs.

“Yes.”

“With...the other guy?”

Taking his time to answer again, his dad lets out an exasperated sigh.

“We think so, yes. The other guy insisted on them sharing a room since the moment Tristan woke up and wouldn’t take no for an answer, fought with the entire hospital staff for it.” His dad makes a face, like he’s both scandalized and angry. “Tristan agreed and insisted on it too. He wouldn’t talk to us and— well, they left the same day. Both discharged themselves from the hospital together.”

He makes a pause, but his dad doesn’t seem to be done yet. Stephen watches him fidget for a little longer before pulling out an envelope from his suit and handing it to him.

“And...he left this. For you.”

The envelope is a little crumpled, like his parents have been touching and holding it a lot but he can tell it hasn’t been open. It only has his name written in black ink and Stephen can recognize Tristan’s—or rather _Jared’s_ —hand writing.

He presses his mouth in a thin line and pulls out the folded piece of paper inside of the envelope. The message is not too long, but he can recognize Jared’s hand writing once again.

 

 _“It’s not happening, Stephen._  
_I would say I’m sorry I lied about who I was, but saving your life should make up for it (even if you weren’t going to do the same for me.)_  
_I’m glad you wouldn’t change me for your dad’s political position or money._  
_Because I wouldn’t change Jensen for you._

_—"Tristan”  
P.S: Have a good life, because I’m sure planning to do so by Jensen’s side.”_

 

Stephen reads the letter three times before crumbling it with one of his hands and shoving it back into the envelope, ready to tell his parents to throw it in the trashcan.

That’s when he notices there’s something else in there, making him stop for a second and look back.

At the bottom of the envelope there’s a round, silver band.

 


	9. Chapter 9

—Epilogue—

 

 

The weather in Rio de Janeiro is, by far, one of Jared’s favorite things about Brazil.

During summer, of course. For some reason he has never minded the hot weather or the humidity, probably because he grew up in Texas. He loves spending his afternoons with the door to the balcony wide open, lying on the couch and looking at the sea.

The nice feeling of hot weather clinging to his skin is just one of the advantages of leaving there and so close to the beach, too.

Jared turns around on the big bed, smiling as he watches Jensen brush his teeth in the bathroom, dressed in the same boxers he had the night before. Even if Jared tends to sweat more, Jensen is not always as good when it comes to dealing with hot weather as Jared, so that means seeing Jensen walking around the place with few to no clothes.

He chuckles, eyeing Jensen as he hugs onto one of the pillows, yawning.

They stayed up until too late the night before and have plans for dinner later that night, but maybe he can convince Jensen to stay in and cook something there. Jared feels like sleeping some more and maybe watching one of those stupid action movies Jensen loves so much.

The movie will have to be in Portuguese though, because Jensen keeps insisting he wants to be able to speak it properly. But it will need subtitles for Jared.

All things considered, maybe Jared should also try to practice his Portuguese more often since they are living there permanently.

“You’re just going to stay all day there?” Jensen asks as soon as he’s back in the room, hands on his hips as he shakes his head. “Come on, we said we’re going out today.”

Jared lets out a little whine, bringing up the blankets to cover his face. It’s not long before he feels Jensen crawling over the bed, causing Jared to laugh again and hide away as soon as Jensen tries to take away his blanket while tickling him. Jared tries to fight him off as much as possible, kicking and rolling on the bed. But Jensen has always been quite good at wrestling, so he has Jared neutralized in record time, hands over his head and legs pinned down.

“So insolent. Here I’m planning romantic dates and you wanna groan and stay home?” Jensen asks with a fake offended voice as Jared nods slowly and solemnly, wiggling under Jensen’s hold. “ _Insult to injury_. Don’t come crying to me next time I want to stay home when you plan something, you little brat.”

He lets go of Jared’s hands to go back to tickle him, causing Jared to howl a loud laughter, trying to cover himself up while they roll together in bed once again.

After years of never using the money he steals or charges for his unusual jobs, Jensen finally decided to use a big chunk of his savings to get Jared the house he always wanted at one of the places with the most beautiful beaches in the world.

A beach that is almost twenty steps away when they walk out on their backyard. It’s _their_ house now.

They have been living there for almost a year, wanting to get away from all the craziness that went down back at the States when Pellegrino almost killed them. Jensen might not like the police one bit, but he has to admit that asking Chris to tip them off so they could go looking for Stephen at the warehouse was a damn good idea.

Jared doesn’t like to think that if the police had gotten there one minute late Jensen wouldn’t be there with him.

Sometimes he has nightmares about it, but waking up to Jensen comforting him always helps Jared calm down.

Their friends were more than thrilled that they decided to buy a rather expensive house at Rio—all paid by illegal hacking and stealing—because they seem to think it’s like a vacation house they can all drop by whenever they feel like it. Chris and Chad already came by to visit twice, one of them with Danneel tagging along, who keeps insisting on them giving her a copy of the keys so she can stop by whenever Jared and Jensen are working.

Jared has plenty of fake passports now and he’s more than used to them by this point, never nervous whenever he and Jensen go to the airport, getting ready for their next hit. They are not taking any risky jobs anymore though, Jensen says those days are past him after seeing Jared get hurt. He says all he wants now is be with Jared, the rest comes in second place.

They like the thrill of a good steal, but nothing too crazy. And they always make sure to stay extra days wherever they go to work so they can do touristic stuff and have fun.

At the same time, Jared has been taking some classes at a local college _. Engineering classes._ He hacked in the system to appear as an exchange student and get in.

“I love going out with you, don’t be so cranky.” Jared laughs, feeling Jensen hugging him from behind after their impromptu wrestling match ends with them spooning in bed. Jensen huffs behind him but still presses a kiss to his shoulder. “I just think we could stay home today, watch you cook, drink some wine, have more sex...” Jared trails off, looking at Jensen over his shoulder with a little smirk.

“Well, fuck. It’s hard to argue with that logic.” Jensen clicks his tongue. “Especially after I stole that amazing wine at that fancy beach party we sneaked into a week ago.”

Jared laughs and turns around in Jensen’s arms so he can be face-to-face and lean in to kiss him, happy to feel Jensen rub his lower back and pull him even closer.

“Thief.” Jared accuses between kisses, giving Jensen an accusatory squint.

Jensen nods proudly, brushing his nose against Jared’s. “Computer geek.”

“You love it.”

“That I do.” Jensen confirms, making Jared smile before they start to kiss again.

As they lay together in bed, Jared feels Jensen searching for his left hand, only stopping when he can touch the band around Jared’s ring finger. It has no diamonds or anything too fancy on it. It’s a simple golden band, thin, smooth and with Jensen’s name engraved on the inside. Jensen has a matching one with Jared’s name too.

Jensen really likes to always be touching, kissing or playing with Jared’s ring, like a constant reminding that it’s _his_ ring. That _Jensen_ put it there.

It makes Jared happy, who could finally stop being _Tristan_ and go back to being _Jared_. The only difference is that he’s not _Padalecki_ like before. And he’s certainly not _Amell_ , either.

Jared had been right all along. Nothing sounds better than _Ackles_.

 


End file.
